children's health Archives

Jul 08

Why UK politicians need to rethink how to improve our maternity services

By adrian_abc baby health, children's health, Education, Health, Mental health, Osteopathy and cranial Osteopathy

by Lorin Lakasing, author of Delivering the truth: Why NHS maternity care is broken and how we can fix it together

Soon after his appointment as Health Secretary, Wes Streeting described NHS maternity care as a “cause for national shame”. He promised regular meetings with bereaved families, ordered a rapid investigation and appointed Baroness Amos to chair it. These promises sound compassionate and decisive. But they’re also precisely the kind of promises that have prevented real improvement in maternity services for decades.

The tragedy is that politicians know this. They understand that real reform takes time. But the political incentives push them towards theatrical gestures rather than the tedious groundwork needed to effect real change. Worse still, each new government feels compelled to revise or rebrand their predecessor’s initiatives, ensuring that even well-intentioned reforms never have time to embed properly.

When politicians get it right

Occasionally politicians put clinical outcomes before credit. Jeremy Hunt’s stillbirth reduction initiative stands out precisely because it was designed to outlive his tenure as Health Secretary.

The UK had one of the highest stillbirth rates in the developed world – a genuine cause for national shame. The vision was good but unfortunately remained unachieved because resources were spent on implementing processes rather than on frontline care where the action to achieve results really talks place. But it got closer than most.

A non-maternity example is the introduction of the NHS itself in 1948 which was a cross-party achievement that took years to implement. Aneurin Bevan knew he was creating something special that would take decades to mature and admitted from the outset that it would need tweaks along the way, something that many have forgotten when we discuss the NHS today. The political consensus that created and sustained the NHS through its early years is exactly what’s missing now.

Learning from others

Politicians seem quick to cite but slow to understand successful global healthcare models. For example, the Nordic maternity outcomes – amongst the best in the world – were not achieved through naming and shaming units or constant reorganisation. It was through boring and consistent work across political divides. Norway invested in continuity of care models where the same midwife plans tailored care and works with women through pregnancy, birth and postnatal care. This took years to implement and required significant restructuring. But they stuck with it through multiple governments because they agreed the evidence supported it, regardless of who proposed it.

Similarly, Finland’s maternity package system, also known as the ‘baby box’, introduced in 1938 and refined continuously since. Every pregnant woman receives a box containing essential items for their baby, but more importantly, they only get it if they engage with maternity care from early in gestation and attend regularly throughout the pregnancy. This simple intervention, sustained across eight decades and countless governments, helped Finland achieve one of the world’s lowest maternal and infant mortality rates.

More recent examples include New Zealand which restructured midwifery care in the 1990s to allow for autonomous midwifery practice which was controversial, took years to implement, and required sustained cross-party support. Or Estonia where maternity services were transformed after independence and the country now boasts better outcomes than the UK despite spending less per capita.

The key? Political consensus that maternity care programmes should transcend party politics. No incoming government scrapped them to make their mark. No opposition attacked them for political gain. They understood that consistency mattered more than credit.

The cross-party solution

Here’s what should really shame politicians. We’re not facing unique challenges. We’re not poorer than countries with better outcomes. We just refuse to learn from them and implement what works because it doesn’t fit our political culture.

What the NHS needs – and what many of my frontline colleagues advocate – is to take maternity services out of the political cycle altogether. Create a cross-party commission responsible for long-term strategy. Basic healthcare shouldn’t swing wildly based on electoral results.

This isn’t unprecedented. The Low Pay Commission, which sets minimum wage rates, operates across party lines with remarkable success. The Office for Budget Responsibility provides independent economic forecasting that all parties accept. The Committee on Climate Change shapes long-term environmental policy beyond electoral cycles.

A similar body for NHS maternity services could see politicians from all parties working together, advised directly by practising clinicians.

We need to move away from partisan politics and the pointless bureaucracy this promotes because this approach has not served us well.

Practical steps politicians could take tomorrow

If politicians genuinely want to improve maternity services rather than just appearing to, here’s what they could do immediately:

First, establish a cross-party agreement that maternity services are off-limits for political point-scoring and establish cross-party governance of the NHS with direct input from frontline clinicians.

Second, commit to ten-year minimum timescales for major reforms. If you’re restructuring teaching, training, teamwork, introducing clinical safety strategies that are fit for purpose, implementing effective staff management, and risk profiling patients properly, this will take decades to embed before results can be evaluated or processes altered purposefully.

Third, take advice from global healthcare models with better outcomes and check if this can be applied to the NHS model. Recognise that changes in practise can only be achieved through education and support, typically by senior colleagues in active practice not by directives e-mailed to shop floor staff sent by managers working from home.

Fourth, create ring-fenced funding streams for frontline maternity services that can’t be raided for managerial processes.

Fifth, recognise that change for the sake of change wastes resources and concentrate on implementing ones that are of proven value instead. Conversely, it is important to find the courage to abolish those that have not proven their worth.

Real political courage isn’t promising bereaved families that you’ll fix everything quickly. It’s admitting you can’t. It’s explaining that meaningful change takes decades, that you’re starting work others will finish, that you need their patience rather than their votes.

Politicians can either continue the current approach – theatrical debates, impossible promises, constant reorganisation – and watch maternity services deteriorate further. Or show genuine leadership by admitting the political system itself is part of the problem because it forces the service to be constantly re-organised in a way that is not necessarily beneficial to patients.

Families deserve better than political theatre and NHS maternity services don’t need more political promises. They need politicians with the humility to learn from others, the courage to commit to long-term solutions, and the integrity to put mothers’ and babies’ lives before their political careers.

The current approach isn’t just failing to improve maternity services, it’s actively preventing the implementation of strategies that could save lives. And that truly is a cause for national shame.

Dr Lorin Lakasing is an NHS consultant in obstetrics and fetal medicine. She draws on her 30 years of clinical experience in maternity care to give an insider’s view of the current worrying situation and its development, and suggests how we might move towards the safe, effective NHS maternity service that everyone deserves. Her latest book, ‘Delivering the truth: Why NHS maternity care is broken and how we can fix it together’ is about the stories behind the headlines.

For further information please visit www.lorinlakasing.com/publications.html

Jul 01

Love0

How to raise more resilient children

By adrian_abc children's health, family, Mental health, play, Wellbeing

by Cheryl Donaldson, Licensed marriage and family therapist

As parents, we are raising children to navigate the unknown. The world today is nothing like the one we entered. Everything has shifted – tech, culture, education, work – and it will continue to shift in ways that we cannot predict despite our best efforts.

The question becomes: how do we prepare our children for a world we don’t yet understand?

In my 30⁺ years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and in raising my own three children, I know that adult self-esteem is shaped in childhood. The small things we say to our children, and what we expose them to, have a profound and lasting impact on how they come to see themselves.

I define self-esteem as the internal confidence we have as individuals to tackle the unknown. That confidence is not built through belief alone; it is gained through incremental exposure to new and uncomfortable things.

With our children, this can begin in very small ways. It could be letting our child spend the night at their grandparents’ house, or letting them order for themselves at a restaurant. It’s bringing them into new social spaces where they have to learn to manage themselves in others’ presence. These moments may seem insignificant, but they compound internally during development. And as parents, we need to affirm them when they face challenges, even if it doesn’t go to plan. We can say things like, “I love how you navigated that situation!” or “That was so cool how you challenged yourself in that new environment.”

In our own family, we introduced this idea in both big and small ways. When my three boys were all under the age of five, my husband and I moved our family from Chicago to the Netherlands. It was a complete step into the unknown. They were suddenly immersed in a new language, a new culture and a completely different way of life. At every stage, we repeated the same message: you are capable.

That experience gave us, as a family, the opportunity to talk about differences, to stay curious rather than fearful, and to expand what felt familiar. At times, this was messy. It’s not always a perfect picture. That messiness is how you know you are putting them in new situations. If it were straightforward, then there would be nothing pushing them to learn new skills. Over time, I watched this shape how my children moved through the world. They became more adaptable and more open to engage with unfamiliar environments, while still staying connected to themselves.

We tend, as parents, to shelter our children from things that are different from them. When our child is struggling with something, we want to take that struggle away. This instinct comes from a loving place, but it often has the opposite effect. I once worked with a parent whose child became anxious if she was even a few minutes late for school pick-up. Her immediate instinct was to eliminate that anxiety. She would plan her whole day around not being late, stress about getting there, and over-apologise if she was late, as if it were a major mistake. That behaviour communicated to the child that his emotional response was valid and didn’t allow him to develop a new skill for coping with those difficult emotions.

Anxiety is our body’s way of communicating to us that we need a new skill. When we step in too quickly to remove that discomfort from our children, we prevent them from learning to tolerate it, manage it and move through it on their own. The more we solve our children’s problems, the more we communicate that they cannot solve them on their own.

This is not an argument for loose parenting. Our job as parents is to keep our children safe. They need structure to feel safe exploring that unknown territory. But there is a difference between protecting a child and preventing them from having experiences that help them grow. As parents, we need to cultivate intentional experiences that push them out of their comfort zones so they develop internal self-esteem and resilience. Again, this process can be messy. But it’s so important for the long-term growth of that child.

Adversity is something we do not want to remove from our children’s lives. It is that adversity that will produce the circumstances for them to grow. As parents, we have to decide how we are going to define adversity. In my practice, I’ve seen a child not being invited to a party, for example, quickly become catastrophic. Not because of the event itself, but because of how the parents interpret and react to it. Children absorb our reactions. If we respond with panic or distress to minor adversities, we reinforce the negative experience. If we respond with calm and perspective, they learn that they can move through it.

In many ways, we are helping our children create a story about what challenge means. Is it something to avoid, or something to move through? When we begin to frame challenges as something they are capable of handling, rather than something to fear, we lay the groundwork for something incredibly important: flexibility.

Flexibility is the ability to say, whatever situation is given to me, I am going to make the best of it. It is what allows a child to navigate not making a team, struggling in school, or facing disappointment without losing their sense of self. It is also what allows them, later in life, to adapt to careers, relationships and environments that do not go according to plan.

We are not raising children for a predictable world. We are raising them for an unknown one. And in that world, it will not be their environment that determines how they fare, but their internal capacity to meet it and thrive despite what comes their way.

Cheryl Donaldson is a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with individuals, families and organisations to build systemic self-esteem. Her cross-border private practice and consultancy firm is based in Charleston, South Carolina and London. For more information on her work please visit www.cheryldonaldsonlmft.com

Jul 01

Love0

“The sun has got his hat on…”

By adrian_abc baby health, children's health, family, fun for children, Safety, Summer, sun safety

by Dr. Kasim Usmani, Dr Kas Clinics

As parents, most of us have had that moment. You are halfway out the door, already late, one child is refusing shoes, another is asking for snacks they definitely did not want five minutes ago – and somewhere in the chaos, you are trying to apply sunscreen to a wriggling child who seems personally offended by the entire process.

As both a doctor and a parent to a toddler myself, I can confidently say that sunscreen application is rarely the calm, picture-perfect moment it’s made out to be. More often, it is a rushed patchwork effort done in the hallway while negotiating about hats and chasing tiny feet around the house.

And honestly – that is exactly why so many families unintentionally get sun protection wrong.

When we think about protecting children from the sun, many of us still associate it with beach holidays abroad or the occasional UK heat wave. But one of the biggest misconceptions I see – both in clinic and among friends with children – is the idea that sunscreen only matters when it is ‘really hot.’

In reality, UV rays are present even on cloudy days, particularly during spring and summer in the UK. You may not feel heat on your skin, but UV exposure is still happening. British weather can be wonderfully deceptive like that. I think many parents assume if the sun is hiding behind clouds, we are probably safe to skip the SPF. Most of the time, we are not.

Children’s skin is naturally thinner and more delicate than adult skin, which means it burns more easily. And whilst nobody wants to catastrophise sunshine – children absolutely should be outdoors, playing, exploring and enjoying themselves – we do know that repeated sunburn in childhood contributes to long-term skin damage later in life.

The reassuring part is that good sun protection does not have to mean perfection. It is usually the small, consistent habits that make the biggest difference.

One thing that surprises parents is how much sunscreen children actually need. Most of us simply are not applying enough. Studies consistently show that people typically apply only a quarter to half of the amount needed to achieve the SPF written on the bottle. So that SPF 50 you carefully bought may not truly be giving SPF 50 protection in real life.

And I completely understand why. When your toddler is trying to sprint naked into the garden before you have even managed one arm, the temptation to do a quick swipe across the cheeks and hope for the best is very real.

But sunscreen needs to be applied generously. I often tell parents that if it feels like you have used ‘quite a lot,’ you are probably finally close to the correct amount. We tend to rub products in too thinly, particularly on children because we are trying to get it done quickly before they lose patience entirely.

The areas parents miss are almost always the same: ears, the back of the neck, tops of feet, hands and around the hairline. Ironically, these are also the places most likely to catch the sun. And then there is the classic ‘one-and-done’ approach – applying sunscreen once in the morning and assuming that is enough for the entire day. In reality, sunscreen should ideally be reapplied every two hours, particularly after swimming, sweating or towel drying.

Parents also ask me constantly whether SPF 30 is ‘good enough,’ or whether children should always wear SPF 50.

Scientifically, both provide excellent protection when used properly. SPF 30 blocks approximately 97% of UVB rays, while SPF 50 blocks around 98%. The difference sounds surprisingly small because technically, it is. But in real-world parenting – where nobody applies sunscreen perfectly and children wipe half of it off within minutes – SPF 50 gives us a little more room for error. For younger children or those with fair or sensitive skin, I generally recommend SPF 50 for that reason.

One topic that has become increasingly common among parents is concern over sunscreen ingredients. I hear this a lot in clinic and from fellow parents: “Are there harmful chemicals in SPF?” or “Is sunscreen actually safe for children?”

I think social media has fuelled a lot of anxiety around this topic, often without proper context. The reality is that approved sunscreens sold in the UK and Europe go through extensive safety testing. Some chemical UV filters have been questioned online because tiny amounts can be absorbed into the bloodstream, but importantly, absorption does not automatically mean harm. At present, there is no robust evidence showing approved sunscreen ingredients are dangerous when used as intended.

In medicine, we always weigh risk against benefit. And the evidence we do have linking UV damage and sunburn to skin cancer and premature skin ageing is extremely strong.

That said, I completely understand why some parents prefer more gentle formulations for young children. If ingredient concerns are worrying you, mineral sunscreens – often containing zinc oxide or titanium dioxide – can be a great option. These sit on top of the skin and physically reflect UV rays rather than absorbing them. They are often well tolerated by sensitive or eczema-prone skin too.

But I would gently caution parents against becoming so frightened of sunscreen ingredients that they stop using SPF altogether. In my opinion, that is where misinformation can become genuinely unhelpful.

I also think parents can feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of sunscreen options available now. Mineral, chemical, lotions, sprays, sticks, sensitive formulas – it can feel like choosing a mortgage. My advice is always refreshingly simple: the best sunscreen is the one your child will tolerate and the one you will realistically use consistently.

If your child screams every time you bring out a thick white cream but happily accepts a lightweight spray, use the spray. If a stick sunscreen helps you quickly cover cheeks and noses during a park trip, brilliant. Parenting is hard enough without chasing some imaginary ‘perfect’ sunscreen routine.

For busy families, practical habits tend to work best. Keep sunscreen by the front door or in the changing bag so it becomes part of leaving the house rather than an afterthought. Apply it before clothes go on where possible – particularly with younger children, because once shoes are on, cooperation usually disappears. Hats, sunglasses, shaded play and lightweight clothing all help too, and often provide more reliable protection than sunscreen alone.

Most importantly, I think we need to remove some of the guilt surrounding this topic. No parent gets it right every single day. I certainly do not. There are mornings I forget the hat, afternoons I realise I missed the tops of the feet, and days where the whole thing feels unnecessarily chaotic.

But children do not need perfect parents. They need consistent habits, realistic routines and adults who are trying their best.

And perhaps the most powerful thing of all is that our children are watching us. When they see us applying SPF, wearing sunglasses or seeking shade on very sunny days, those behaviours quietly become normal to them too.

Sun safety should not feel frightening or complicated. It is simply one small part of caring for our children – woven into the wonderfully imperfect reality of family life.

For further information from Dr. Kasim Usmani, owner of private medical and aesthetics clinics, Dr Kas Clinics based in Surrey, please visit www.drkasim.co.uk

Mar 20

Love0

Parents feel unprepared to keep their child healthy

By Iain Boyle children's health, Education, Exercise, family, Food & Eating, Health, Wellbeing

Families across England are being left to shoulder growing responsibility for their children’s health as the NHS struggles to cope – often without the preparation, support or trusted advice they need, according to a major new report from IPPR*.

The report says the dual crises of mental health and obesity issues among children have been allowed to flourish as parents have been left at the behest of patchy NHS services that are hard to access.

A survey of over 1,500 parents found that:
• 32% never attended an antenatal class
• 31% do not feel prepared to look after their children’s health
• 19% find it difficult to access professional help for their child’s health when they need it.

The least financially comfortable parents faced particular challenges, as the most well off can often buy their way to better outcomes, while the poorest face the greatest barriers to support.

For example, 81% of the most financially comfortable parents say they can easily access professional help for their child, compared to just 37% of the least financially secure.

When parents do access care, many describe the experience as rushed or judgmental – leaving them feeling unsupported in navigating the realities of parenthood. As waiting times grow, families say they are increasingly turning to private care, DIY solutions or simply hoping problems resolve on their own.

Inconsistent or insufficient advice is pushing many parents to online spaces. The vast majority (85%) told IPPR they “learn as they go”, often piecing together advice from the internet and risking misinformation, overload and anxiety.

IPPR argues that children’s health has stalled because successive governments have been reluctant to talk about parenting – wary of appearing to interfere or blame families.

Parents feel both highly responsible and highly capable of shaping their child’s health. At the same time, parents say they cannot do it alone. IPPR says ministers must stand alongside parents – taking bolder, clearer action on the forces only government can confront. The think tank recommends:
• Universal parenting education before and for a year after birth, delivered on an opt-out basis.
• Government action to make healthy choices the easy choice – improving healthy food affordability, closing junk-food marketing loopholes, tackling tech harms and expanding free offline activities.
• More proactive, easy-to-find community support, reaching parents early, connecting families with one another and offering practical help while they wait for specialist care.

Amy Gandon, associate fellow at IPPR and former senior official on children’s health said: “Families are being left to fend for themselves as the NHS is struggling to support parents. Successive governments have shied away from engaging directly with parents – but in reality they are – and will always be – the backbone of children’s healthcare. If we want a more preventative, community-based NHS, we must start by backing parents with the support, guidance and environment they need to keep their children healthy.”

Sebastian Rees, Head of Health at IPPR said: “Too many parents feel unprepared when it comes to keeping their children healthy. Families shouldn’t have to piece together advice online or pay privately to get the support they need. We need a system that supports parents from the start, not one that leaves them to go it alone. Only then will we lay the foundations for building the healthiest ever generation of children.”

* IPPR is an independent charity working towards a fairer, greener and more prosperous society.

We make today’s bold ideas tomorrow’s common sense.
www.ippr.org

Mar 07

Love0

Raising resilient children

By Iain Boyle children's health, Early Years, Education, Exercise, Forest School, play, Uncategorized

by Lucy Owen-Collins
Head of Adventures at Bee in the Woods Kindergartens

What outdoor nurseries know about risk, freedom and play

Spring has a wonderful way of reminding us that children, like the natural world, grow best when given space, time and the right conditions. As blossoms return and days stretch out, many families find themselves venturing outside more often – opening the door to something Early Years educators have known for decades: outdoor play isn’t just ‘nice to have’ – it’s one of the most powerful ways to build resilience in young children.

At outdoor nurseries, children spend their days immersed in nature. What we observe, time and again, is that resilience isn’t taught – it’s lived. Through climbing, balancing, running and problem-solving, children learn what their bodies can do and how to navigate the world with confidence.

“Resilience isn’t taught – it’s lived, through movement, challenge and freedom.”

Why risky play matters
Risky play – clambering, balancing, running on uneven ground, navigating logs, slopes and tree roots – has been widely shown to increase children’s coordination, confidence and risk-management skills. Importantly, these experiences don’t remove danger; they teach children what danger feels like and how to make good decisions around it. It means offering children opportunities to assess, manage and respond to challenges in a supported environment.

When a child pauses at the base of a muddy slope or tests a branch before climbing, they’re developing judgement, balance and self-awareness. Outdoor practitioners support these moments with calm presence rather than intervention, asking questions like, “What’s your plan?” or “How does that feel?”

Research consistently shows that children who engage in appropriately risky play develop stronger motor skills, better risk assessment and greater emotional regulation. Just as importantly, they learn confidence in their own decision-making.

“When children learn to judge risk, they grow confidence – not fear.”

Health resilience, built outside
Spring weather can be unpredictable, but outdoor learning thrives on this variety.

Children who spend long periods outside become more adaptable – less phased by drizzle, cold breezes or muddy boots.

Research suggests that regular outdoor play supports immune health in several ways. Exposure to fresh air, sunlight and diverse natural environments helps regulate circadian rhythms and supports vitamin D production- linked to immune function and overall wellbeing. Studies also highlight the role of environmental biodiversity; contact with soil, plants and natural microbes can help strengthen the immune system by supporting healthy gut and skin microbiomes.

In practical terms, this often looks like children who cope better with seasonal changes, recover more quickly from minor illnesses and show improved energy and stamina.

“Muddy hands aren’t a problem – they’re part of building a healthy immune system.”

Nature: The ultimate motor-skills playground
Nature provides a constantly changing environment that challenges the whole body. Uneven ground strengthens balance and coordination. Climbing builds core and upper-body strength. Carrying heavy objects develops proprioception and teamwork.

These physical experiences are deeply connected to brain development. Neuroscience tells us that movement supports learning, attention and emotional regulation. When children navigate varied terrain, they create richer neural pathways – laying foundations for skills like writing, concentration and problem-solving.

“Uneven ground builds strong bodies – and adaptable minds.”

Trust, courage and self-assurance
Perhaps the most powerful element of outdoor learning is trust. Children are trusted to try, to wobble, to fall safely and to try again. Adults remain close, attentive and supportive, but not intrusive.

A child jumping from a stump isn’t just playing – they’re testing belief in themselves. When adults honour that moment, children internalise a powerful message: I am capable.

Over time, this self-assurance travels with them – into friendships, learning and everyday challenges beyond the woods.

“Confidence grows in the space between challenge and trust.”

Advice for families: Bringing risk, freedom and play into family life
You don’t need a woodland to experience the benefits of outdoor play. Spring is a wonderful time to lean into simple, low-prep ideas that help children stretch their bodies and minds.
1. Make micro-adventures part of your week
A walk to the local park can become a balancing challenge on curbs, logs or small walls. Invite children to choose the ‘wobbly path’.
2. Let them get properly muddy
Messy play is body work, brain work and emotional work. Pack spare clothes in the car and relax into it.
3. Ask reflective questions instead of instructions
Try: “What’s your plan?” “How does that feel?” “Do you need anything to make this safer?” These questions build decision-making skills.
4. Resist the urge to rescue too quickly
If a child is struggling to climb, pause before stepping in. Check they are safe, then give them space to problem-solve.
5. Vary the terrain
Choose parks, beaches, woodlands or even gardens with natural gradients, slopes and textures. Nature is built for motor-skill development.
6. Celebrate courage, not outcomes
Praise the trying, not the height climbed. Children flourish when bravery is noticed.

Growing resilience, one spring day at a time
As children run, climb and explore through spring, they are doing far more than playing. They are building physical strength, immune resilience and emotional confidence through experiences that can’t be replicated indoors.

Outdoor nurseries remind us that childhood doesn’t need to be smoothed or rushed. When children are given freedom, trust and space to move, they grow into themselves – strong, capable and ready for what comes next.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is just open the door and let nature lead the way.

Bee in the Woods Kindergarten is a woodland preschool and community Forest School for three to seven year olds, based in Portslade and Stanmer Park in Brighton.
For more information www.beeinthewoods.co.uk

Mar 02

Love0

Family mediation and child‑focused parenting through separation

By Iain Boyle children's health, Finance, Legal, Mental health

by Yulia Osudina
YO Mediation

Separation or divorce is a significant transition for any family. When children are involved, parents often experience heightened concern about how decisions relating to living arrangements, schooling, routines and communication will affect their children’s emotional wellbeing. Research and best practice consistently show that children cope best with separation when parents manage conflict constructively and keep children’s needs at the centre of all decision‑making.

Family mediation provides a confidential and structured environment in which parents are supported to reach practical, child‑focused solutions tailored to their family. Mediation encourages cooperation, respectful communication and problem-solving.

What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a facilitated process in which an impartial, trained mediator helps parents communicate more effectively, explore options and reach mutually acceptable agreements. Rather than focusing on blame or past conflict, mediation looks forward, helping parents plan for their children’s future in a way that minimises stress and disruption.

Mediation can address a wide range of issues, including financial matters and arrangements for children. In this article however, the focus is on child arrangements mediation. This can support parents in resolving disagreements about where their children live and spend time – which school they attend, term-time routines and holiday planning, special occasions such as Christmas and New Year’s, grandparents’ visits, religious upbringing and arrangements that take account of special educational needs (SEN), as well as many other aspects of family life.

A key principle of mediation is that parents remain in control of decisions affecting their children. The mediator does not take sides or impose outcomes, but supports both parents to focus on what will best support their children’s stability, security and emotional development.

A child‑focused approach to mediation
While separation ends an adult relationship, it does not end parenting. As such, mediation can help parents to shift from a couple‑focused mindset to a co‑parenting one.

A child‑focused mediation process helps parents to:
• Consider decisions from the child’s perspective rather than through parental conflict.
• Recognise how ongoing disputes can affect children emotionally and behaviourally.
• Develop arrangements that promote consistency, reassurance and strong relationships with both parents where it is safe to do so.
• Communicate in ways that reduce tension and model positive behaviour for children.

Mediators support parents to keep discussions centred on children’s day‑to‑day experiences, such as routines, schooling, holidays, communication and transitions between homes. This practical focus helps reduce emotional escalation and keeps conversations constructive.

When mediation is particularly helpful
Mediation can be especially effective:
• At an early stage of separation, before positions become entrenched.
• When parents wish to avoid the stress, cost and delay of court proceedings.
• Where communication has broken down but both parents remain committed to their children’s wellbeing.
• For families with young children who benefit from predictable routines and low conflict.
• In cases involving children with special educational needs or additional vulnerabilities, where careful planning and cooperation are essential.

Supporting children with Special Educational Needs (SEN)
For families with children who have special educational needs, separation can present additional challenges. These children may rely heavily on routine, consistency and coordinated support across home and school environments.

Mediation provides a structured space for parents to:
• Share information about their child’s needs, support plans and professional input.
• Discuss how routines, therapies and educational arrangements will be managed across two households.
• Agree on communication methods that ensure both parents remain informed
and involved.
• Reduce misunderstandings that can arise when stress and uncertainty are high.

A mediator with experience in SEN matters can help parents focus on practical, realistic arrangements that prioritise the child’s wellbeing while recognising each parent’s capacity and circumstances.

Child‑inclusive mediation
In some cases, and where appropriate, mediation can include the child’s voice. Child‑inclusive mediation is usually suitable for children aged around ten and over, depending on their maturity and circumstances. This approach allows children to speak privately with a specially trained professional, ensuring their views are heard without placing responsibility on them for decision‑making.

The purpose is not for children to choose outcomes, but to give parents insight into how their child is experiencing the separation. For younger children, mediation remains parent‑focused, with decisions guided by professional understanding of children’s developmental needs.

The benefits of early, child‑focused mediation
Engaging in mediation at an early stage can have lasting benefits for the whole family:
• Reduced conflict and improved communication between parents.
• Faster, more flexible resolutions than court‑based processes.
• Tailored arrangements that reflect the unique needs of each child.
• Greater emotional security for children through consistent, cooperative parenting.
• A stronger foundation for long‑term co‑parenting.

Preparing for mediation
Parents can help mediation be as effective as possible by:
• Approaching the process with a willingness to listen and reflect.
• Keeping the focus on their children’s needs rather than past grievances.
• Gathering relevant information, such as school reports or support plans.
• Being open to compromise in the interests of stability and reassurance for their children.

Family mediation, guided by child‑focused principles such as those set out by Resolution’s ‘Parenting Through Separation’ framework, offers parents a constructive way forward during an emotionally challenging time. By prioritising children’s needs, reducing conflict and encouraging cooperative co‑parenting, mediation supports families in creating arrangements that promote security, resilience and positive long‑term outcomes for children.

For parents seeking a calm, respectful and child‑centred approach to separation, mediation provides a valuable alternative to adversarial processes and helps lay the groundwork for healthy parenting relationships in the years ahead.

For further information on how Yulia Osudina at YO Mediation can help you in your own circumstances please visit www.yomediation.com or email yulia@yomediation.com

Mar 02

Love0

Supporting children’s seasonal allergies

By Iain Boyle baby health, children's health, Health

by Ben Murray
Dukes Education Group Ltd

Helping little ones breathe easier during the changing seasons

For many families, spring and summer bring lighter evenings, outdoor play and family adventures. But for some young children, these seasons also introduce sneezing, itchy eyes and unsettled sleep. Seasonal allergies, often referred to as hay fever, are increasingly common in early childhood, and while they are more frequently diagnosed in older children, babies and toddlers can experience symptoms too.

For parents of children aged under five, recognising the signs early and knowing how to support your child both at home and in their early years setting can make a significant difference to their comfort, wellbeing and ability to enjoy daily activities.

What are seasonal allergies in young children?
Seasonal allergies occur when the immune system overreacts to airborne allergens such as pollen from grass, trees or weeds. In young children, symptoms can sometimes look different from those seen in adults and may include:
• A constantly runny or blocked nose.
• Frequent sneezing.
• Red, itchy or watery eyes.
• Irritated skin or eczema flare-ups.
• Coughing, particularly at night.
• Increased tiredness or irritability.

Because colds are common in the early years, allergies can easily be mistaken for repeated infections. One helpful clue is duration – allergy symptoms tend to persist for weeks and may worsen outdoors or at specific times of year.

Why early support matters
Under the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS), children’s health and wellbeing are central to their learning and development. When a child is uncomfortable or struggling to sleep due to allergies, it can affect their mood, appetite, concentration and enjoyment of play.

Supporting allergies effectively is not just about symptom relief – it helps children feel safe, settled and able to engage fully with their environment. It also supports the development of healthy self-awareness as children begin to recognise and communicate how they are feeling.

Practical ways parents can help at home
There are many simple, evidence-informed steps parents can take to reduce allergen exposure and ease symptoms:
• Check pollen forecasts and plan outdoor activities for times when levels are lower, such as early morning or after rainfall.
• Change clothes and wash hands and faces after outdoor play to reduce pollen being brought indoors.
• Keep windows closed in bedrooms during high pollen periods, especially at night.
• Maintain good sleep routines, as tiredness can worsen allergy symptoms.
• Speak to a pharmacist or GP before giving any allergy medication to young children, particularly under the age of five.
• For babies and toddlers who cannot yet describe how they feel, observing changes in behaviour, sleep or feeding can help parents identify when allergies may be affecting them.

Supporting allergies in Early Years settings
In high-quality Early Years provision, supporting children with allergies is part of a broader commitment to inclusive, responsive care. At our nurseries, we work closely with families to ensure every child’s individual needs are understood and supported.

Our approach includes:
• Clear allergy information sharing: Parents provide detailed health information on enrolment, including known or suspected allergies. This information is regularly reviewed and updated.
• Individual care plans: Where a child has diagnosed allergies, we work with parents and health professionals to create a tailored care plan, ensuring consistent support across the day.
• Staff training: Our teams receive regular training on recognising allergy symptoms, administering medication where appropriate, and responding calmly and confidently to children’s needs.
• Environmental awareness: We carefully plan outdoor play, balancing the benefits of fresh air and physical activity with awareness of pollen levels and children’s sensitivities.
• Communication with families: Ongoing, open communication ensures parents know how their child has been during the day and can share any changes in symptoms or treatment.

Importantly, we approach allergy management in a calm, reassuring way, helping children feel secure rather than anxious about their symptoms.

Helping children build resilience and awareness
Even at a young age, children can begin to understand their bodies. Simple, age-appropriate language such as “Your eyes feel itchy today, so we’re going to help them feel better” supports emotional development and self-confidence.

Encouraging children to wash hands, blow noses gently (when developmentally appropriate), and rest when needed builds early self-care skills. These small routines align closely with EYFS principles of promoting independence and wellbeing.

Working together for children’s wellbeing
Seasonal allergies can be challenging, but with the right support, children can continue to enjoy exploring, learning and playing throughout the year. When parents and Early Years providers work in partnership, sharing information and best practise, children benefit from consistent, nurturing care wherever they are.

By staying informed, responsive and child-centred, we can ensure that even during peak allergy seasons, our youngest children feel comfortable, supported and free to thrive.

Dukes Education Group run both Hove Village and Reflections Nursery and Forest School in Sussex.
To discuss opportunities at Hove Village please call 01273 037449 or visit www.hovevillage.com
To discuss opportunities at Reflections Nursery please call 01903 251518 or visit www.reflectionsnurseries.co.uk

Dukes Education Group run both Riverside Nursery Schools and The Kindergartens in Surrey/London.
To discuss opportunities at Riverside Nursery Schools please call 020 3475 0455 or visit www.riversidenurseryschools.com
To discuss opportunities at The Kindergartens please call 020 7326 8765 or visit www.thekindergartens.com

Nov 18

Love0

Why toilet training a year earlier is an urgent issue

By Iain Boyle baby health, Childcare and Nannying, children's health, Health, special educational needs, Wellbeing

Toilet training children a year earlier could solve a host of issues in the education and health service and improve children’s overall health and wellbeing – so why aren’t policymakers pushing forward measures to support families doing it sooner?

ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity, with support from Kindred Squared and Jodie Gosling MP, recently hosted a Parliamentary roundtable discussion bringing together key stakeholders in early years, education and children’s health and social care, to discuss the huge impact delayed toilet training is having on children’s lives. The discussion centered around the significant opportunities that exist to improve children’s health, social care, education and wellbeing by toilet training earlier.

The charity is pushing for clear guidance around toilet training, greater benchmarking of children’s progress, and standardised training for professionals supporting families in early years (including health visitors and early years practitioners).

Over the last two generations, the average age that children are being toilet trained in the UK has risen from 12-18 months, to an average of around three or even four years today. Later toilet training increases the risk of developing wetting and soiling issues later and also prevents the early identification of bladder and bowel problems.

The impact is profound across education, health and social care:
• A staggering 1 in 4 children start school still not toilet trained.
• 90% of teachers have at least one child in their class who is not fully toilet trained.
• On average 2.4 hours of teacher time is lost every day supporting children who are not school ready to catch up – directly affecting educational outcomes for all children in the class and hampering the Government’s mission to ensure children start school ready to learn.
• Hospital admissions for childhood constipation (which can be exacerbated by delayed toilet training) have increased by 60% over the past decade (over 44,000 children last year).

The charity argues that if children were toilet trained a year earlier, it would improve outcomes for children, save children’s health and education services time and money, and reduce the environmental impact of nappies going to landfill. The potential positive impacts are significant:
• Reduce the social and emotional impact of delayed toilet training on the child: Two thirds of teachers (65%) and 58% of parents agree that not being ready for school when starting Reception could have long term impacts on a child’s success in later life. Ensuring they are toilet trained well in advance of starting school means they’re less likely to feel embarrassed or be ostracized from their peers, which can have a profound effect on their early days in school.
• Better education: If they didn’t have to deal with children who weren’t toilet trained, teachers could save up to 456 hours – that’s around 10 days of extra teaching time they could spend focusing on improving children’s education over the academic year.
• Better health: There is a link between delayed toilet training and childhood constipation. Currently 1 in 3 children suffer from constipation. In a single year, the NHS spent £168 million treating constipation.
By preventing a number of children from suffering from this, it could also save the NHS a significant amount. The cost of treating constipation is equivalent to funding 7304 newly qualified nurses for a year.
• Better for the environment: It’s estimated that the average child uses between 4,000 and 6,000 disposable nappies before they are toilet trained, and the UK disposes of around 3bn disposable nappies annually. If every child was toilet trained one year earlier, we could save between 5.3bn – 7.1bn nappies from going to landfill.
• Cost savings for parents: Parents in the UK can expect to spend approximately £1,000 on disposable nappies per child from birth to toilet training. This translates to about £400 per year for disposable nappies. So by toilet training earlier, they could save themselves up to £400 – that’s equivalent to about two weeks of nursery fees in some parts of the country, or perhaps a UK family holiday.

Siân Wicks, CEO of ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity said: “ERIC calls for children to be toilet trained a year earlier. We have reviewed the evidence base, examined the impact on the child and family that delayed toilet training has. It is time to reduce the stigma. It is essential that we raise the profile of this debate. We are calling for clear national guidance, both for families and professionals, particularly for those who support children in early years.There has been clear guidance on issues like breastfeeding and sleep, but not on toilet training; yet, as we’ve seen, this is causing a host of issues that are costing families, society and the government dearly. There needs to be a greater sense of collective responsibility for children’s bowel and bladder health, and all stakeholders across government, children’s health, education and social care need to work together to support families to reach this milestone sooner.”

Felicity Gillespie, Director of Kindred Squared said: “Our research shows that parents are keen for clear, simple and evidence-backed advice. That’s why we’ve worked with the early years sector to produce startingreception.co.uk. The medical evidence is clear; unless there is a diagnosed medical need, children are best served by being out of nappies between 18 and 30 months. We welcome Eric’s efforts to spread this information as widely as possible!”

Jodie Gosling, MP, said: “Too many children are starting school feeling anxious, isolated, or even ashamed – simply because they haven’t been supported to reach a basic developmental milestone: being toilet trained. The removal of Sure Start provision has left families without the necessary infrastructure to learn and thrive. This isn’t just about nappies. It’s about dignity. It’s about confidence. And it’s about giving every child the best possible start in life. We’ve heard today how delayed toilet training is affecting not just individual children, but their families, entire classrooms, our NHS, and our environment. The evidence is clear – and the cost of inaction is too high. This is an issue that requires urgent, coordinated action. We need clear national guidance, better training for early years professionals, and a shared commitment across government to support families in reaching this milestone sooner. Because when we help children thrive from the very beginning, we all benefit.”

Alison Morton, CEO of Institute of Health Visiting, said: “Gaining mastery of your own bladder and bowel function is an important milestone in a child’s development. However, toileting practices and advice have changed over the years, and are heavily impacted by marketing tactics to delay toileting and prolong the use of nappies under the guise of ‘waiting until children are ready’. This has a human, financial and environmental cost. I encourage all professionals to maintain high expectations for the ability of all children, including those with disabilities, to achieve the skills for toileting. Unnecessary delays and low expectations are limiting children’s life chances and can have lifelong consequences. Getting this right is not really a choice, it is fundamental for children’s dignity, safety and quality of life”.

For further information please visit www.eric.org.uk

Jul 01

Love0

Let them climb

By Iain Boyle children's health, Education, environment, fun for children, Green, Safety, Wellbeing

by Lucy Owen-Collins
Head of Adventures at Bee in the Woods

The powerful benefits of outdoor risky play

In an age of screen time, padded playgrounds and hyper-awareness of safety, it can feel instinctive to shout “Be careful!” every time your child climbs a tree or scrambles up a boulder. But what if, in our effort to protect, we’re holding our children back?

As parents, we want to keep our children safe, but research shows that too much caution can actually hold children back from vital developmental opportunities.

Risky play; those thrilling, uncertain, physical experiences like climbing, jumping from heights, balancing on logs, or exploring wild spaces – is more than just a childhood rite of passage. It’s a crucial ingredient in how children grow into confident, capable, resilient adults.

Author and childhood play advocate Tim Gill, in ‘No Fear: Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society’, argues that children need real opportunities to test their limits and take measured risks. When we support rather than suppress this kind of play, we empower children to become more aware of their bodies, make better decisions and develop lifelong emotional resilience.

The benefits of risky play
Physically, risky play helps children build strength, agility, coordination and fine motor control. Scrambling up a climbing frame, balancing on a log, or running across sand not only keeps children active – it enhances their core stability, posture and endurance.

Sensory development also thrives in outdoor play. Movements like spinning, swinging, rolling and balancing stimulate the vestibular and proprioceptive systems – key components in helping children understand where their body is in space. These experiences lay the foundation for everything from focus and attention to emotional regulation and coordination.

Cognitively, risky play sharpens problem-solving and decision-making. Children must assess their environment – “Is this branch strong enough? Can I jump that far?” – and adjust their approach in real time. This self-assessment builds independence and executive function.

Socially and emotionally, children learn to regulate emotions like fear and frustration, and to persevere after a fall or failure. When playing with others, they negotiate, take turns, lead and follow – all vital skills for life. Risky play also nurtures courage and self-esteem: there’s nothing like the glow of pride after scaling a tall rock or swinging across a stream.

Risk is not the enemy – danger is
There’s a difference between risk and danger. Risk is a challenge a child can see, consider and try to overcome. Danger is something hidden or poorly understood. As adults, our role is to assess the environment, offer guidance and stay nearby, rather than removing every possible hazard or stepping in too soon.

Forest School Leaders often use a ‘risk-benefit’ approach – recognising that the benefits of play with risk often outweigh the downsides when managed sensibly.

Supporting safe risky play: What parents can do
Instead of shutting down adventurous play, we can shift how we support it. Here are a few ways parents can help children assess risk:
• Talk it through: Ask, “What’s your plan?”, “How could you do that safely?” or “What’s your next step?” These questions should help children think critically and prepare.
• Model curiosity, not fear: Stay calm and positive, even when your instincts are shouting. You can always move closer or spot from a distance.
• Celebrate effort, not just achievement: Say, “You tried that really carefully” or “I noticed how you tested that first”, to reinforce thoughtful behaviour.
• Know your child: Every child has a different threshold for risk. Trust their instincts, but be there to encourage and, occasionally, challenge them.

What to say instead of “Be careful”
“Be careful” is vague and often ineffective. Try these alternatives:

• “Can you find a steady place for your feet?”

• “Use both hands.”

• “Take your time and notice what’s around you.”

• “What’s your plan if that wobbles?”

• “I’m right here if you need me.”

These phrases promote awareness, decision-making and reassurance without instilling fear.

Risky play in different environments: Safety tips
Outdoor environments offer rich, natural opportunities for risky play. Here’s how to support children’s exploration safely and confidently in a few common settings:

At the beach
• Water safety first: Teach children to respect the tide, watch the sea and stay within view. Watch for strong currents and always stay close when water is involved.
• Digging and climbing: Sand dunes and rock pools offer exciting climbing opportunities. Encourage kids to test ground firmness and wear shoes with grip.
• Sensory-rich play: Let children roll, bury, balance, and run. Sand is a great medium for physical and imaginative play, but remind children not to dig too deep or tunnel near unstable edges.

In the woods
• Tree climbing: Don’t lift children into trees to climb them – encourage them to understand their own abilities by climbing themselves. Encourage kids to “climb down as well as up”- if they can’t get down safely, they’re too high. Avoid trees with dead branches and teach children keep ‘three points of contact’ on the tree at all times (two hands, one foot/one hand, two feet)
• Sticks and stones: Playing with natural materials builds creativity and coordination. Teach children how to carry sticks safely (point down, away from faces).
• Rough ground: Roots, mud and slopes are ideal for balance and proprioception. Wear shoes with grip and support falls as learning moments rather than failures.

On climbing equipment or rocks
• Let them fall small: Risky play doesn’t mean no bumps or bruises, but small falls teach children to adapt and try again.
• Check surfaces: Sand, bark chips or grass under climbing equipment help cushion falls. Encourage safe jumping and always remind children to look before leaping.

Why it all matters
When we give children permission to play with risk, we do more than help them become physically stronger. We show them that we trust their judgment, believe in their resilience and honour their growing independence.

Let’s raise children who aren’t afraid to fall, try again and learn through doing. The outdoors is their natural training ground. So next time your child teeters on a tree limb or builds a fort from branches, take a breath and remember: this is childhood, exactly as it should be.

Mar 04

Love0

Dance is for everyone

By Iain Boyle children's health, dance & Art, Exercise, fun for children, Music and singing, Party

by Jess Child
JC Dance

You may be wondering; how can a dance class beneﬁt my child in more ways than just keeping them busy for half an hour? Well, I am here to tell you about the amazing beneﬁts of a dance class – not just for your mini human – but for you too!

Let’s break away from the myth that dance is just for girls and encourage movement exploration for ALL children. Dance is for everyone. If you have a body you can dance. As a preschooler, dance is less about learning particular steps and more about imagination, expression, socialising and aiding development, making it a perfect activity for any child.

Preschool dance beneﬁts your child’s physical development by increasing their ability to perform motor skills. We might stand on one leg pretending to be a ﬂamingo, whilst improving balance, or we could march like an astronaut on the moon or gallop sideways like a crab to enhance coordination. This also builds your child’s knowledge of their bodies, helping them gain control of their extremities and core muscles, ultimately increasing reﬂexes and reducing the likelihood of any bumps or falls.

Dancing as a toddler promotes the idea of good posture to your child. We like to see who can stand the tallest or who can have the straightest back whilst sitting with their imaginary string connected all the way from the top of their head to the ceiling. This early foundation sets them up for life, keeping force balanced throughout their fast-growing little bodies. The distribution of force on muscles, bones and ligaments that good posture brings, not only reduces risks of injury but also builds conﬁdence and creates more space for the organs, improving breathing and digestion. All of these aspects give your child greater awareness of their bodies in space, helping bodies self-regulate. What’s not to love?

Dance classes will give your child the opportunity to move to many different types of music enhancing their musicality. Using music and stories and linking physical movements to imaginary ideas and ﬁnding a teacher who is passionate and encouraging, can help your preschooler to create a magical world and a safe space.

Preschool dance gives them the opportunity to interact with new children, grown-ups and teachers, ultimately helping them improve on social skills. Toddlers will continue to learn how to follow instructions and are able to start understanding taking turns and sharing with other children, they may take turns dancing one at a time, or wait their turn to get their maracas. This means each child has the opportunity to have one to one focus from the teacher, ensuring they all have a moment in the class to feel special and valued as an individual. This opportunity to move their bodies to music, along with a positive learning environment can help children’s conﬁdence skyrocket. In turn it can increase their independence, maybe by tidying up or dancing by themselves. Every child is different but at this age children are sponges for information, taking it all in, in their own way. With the use of repetition in dance classes your child is able to learn new words, new ways of moving and ﬁnd a passion for something new and exciting.

Now onto you. How can a preschool dance class beneﬁt you? This is time for you to meet other grown-ups with children of the same age, the ability to connect with others going through similar experiences can uplift us, support us and reduce stress. These classes also offer valuable one on one time with your little one without the outside pressures of being a grown-up. Dance classes are a space where you and your mini human can bond and enjoy time together without having to worry about ‘life stuff’.

Time with your preschooler is short and precious, make the most of every second and most of all make time to enjoy it!

Jess Child runs BalletBees – dancing together, growing together. Where every child is welcomed, valued and supported in their movement journey. www.jcdanceclasses.com 07305 228770 info@jcdanceclasses.com @jess_jcdanceyoga

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