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Mental health

Jul 20
Love0
children's mental health

Supporting your child’s mental health

By Childcare and Nannying, Education, Health, Mental health

In the hustle and bustle of raising children, it’s essential to pause and consider their mental wellbeing. Just as we care for their physical health, we must also consider their mental and emotional development.

Childcare experts at Busy Bees have been supporting parents with children’s mental health for over 40 years. Here we’ll explore some practical insights and strategies to help you navigate ways of supporting your child’s mental health.

From recognising signs of emotional wellbeing to implementing effective support mechanisms, our goal is to help families by empowering them with valuable knowledge.

Understanding children’s mental health and emotions
Mastering the skill of regulating emotions can pose challenges for children. Every day they are navigating a whole host of new experiences and situations, and learning to respond and interpret these can be overwhelming. In many cases, it can lead to emotional reactions that they haven’t yet learned to understand.

‘Be Calm’ activities are designed for you to use with your child to support them in learning how to manage strong feelings and emotions. What is most important for children to understand is that their voice matters and with this, any emotions they are feeling are something you can support them with.

‘Be calm’ techniques

Be calm and breathe
These experiences focus on breathing, using breathwork and imagination to reduce feelings of upset, worry or anxiety.

One approach is the ‘Beach Breathing’ technique. Ask your child to close their eyes and imagine they are sitting on a warm, sandy beach. While doing so, invite them to breathe deeply through their nose and then out through their mouth, imagining that their breath is the waves rolling onto the shore. You can support what they are imagining by describing what you can see and hear on your own beach.

Be calm and active
These experiences focus on movement, using parts of their body and experiences to re-direct emotions.

An approach we suggest is a clap it out or stamp it out technique. If they’re feeling strong emotions, encourage your child to clap as fast as they can for 10 seconds. When the time is up, put your hands out in front of you and ask them if they can feel their fingers tingling. Or you could ask your child to stamp their feet as quickly as they can for 10 seconds and ask them what their feet feel like when they’ve stopped.

Be calm and positive
These experiences focus on supporting children’s self-esteem.

My weather report is a method to encourage children to think about how they are feeling today and liken it to the weather, for example, they might be feeling sunny, stormy, calm, or bright.

This technique allows you to explain that even though we can’t change the weather, just as we can’t always change how we are feeling, we can make sure we notice it and understand why, which is important. Sharing how we are feeling with others can make us feel better if we are unhappy or worried.

We have many other methods or experiences you can use with your child to understand their emotional wellbeing and to help educate them about how to manage their emotions.

Other ways to support children’s mental health
As parents, there are many ways you can support your child’s mental health. NHS guidance provides some other examples of techniques to help, which support the notion that we feel strongly about – that every voice matters.

These include:
• Listening to their feelings.
• Staying involved in their interests.
• Taking what they say seriously.
• Supporting them through difficulties.
• Encouraging their interests.
• Building positive routines.

For further information please visit www.busybeeschildcare.co.uk/blog/mental-health

Jul 15
Love0
nursery child

The right nursery for your child

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Mental health, Relationships
by Jo Allen
Dukes Education Group Ltd

As a parent, selecting the right nursery for your child can be a daunting task. With numerous options available, it’s essential to consider various factors to ensure you make the best choice for your little one. Throughout Sussex, parents have a wealth of options when it comes to nurseries. Here’s a comprehensive guide on the key aspects to consider when choosing the right option for your child.

1. Location
The first thing to consider is the location of the nursery. Opting for a nursery that is conveniently located near your home or workplace can make drop-offs and pick ups much easier. It’s also beneficial for your child to attend a nursery within close proximity, as they will feel more familiar with the surrounding area.

2. Reputation and accreditation
Research the reputation of the nursery you’re considering. Look for accreditations such as OFSTED (Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills) ratings, which indicate the quality of care and education provided. Additionally, seek recommendations from other parents or online reviews to gain insights into the nursery’s reputation and track record. www.daynurseries.co.uk provide excellent search functionality to be able to narrow down the criteria of the nursery you are looking for, as well as view parent reviews on all aspects of the setting. Google and Facebook reviews are also a great place to start to get a feel for how families see the nursery.

3. Curriculum and learning approach
Explore the nursery’s curriculum and learning approach, to ensure it aligns with your values and expectations. Consider whether the nursery offers a structured learning programme, promotes play-based learning, or focuses on specific educational philosophies such as Montessori or Reggio Emilia. A well-rounded curriculum that caters to both academic and social development is ideal for nurturing young minds.

4. Facilities and resources
Visit the nursery to assess its facilities and resources. Look for clean, safe and stimulating environments that are conducive to learning and exploration. Check if the nursery has age-appropriate toys, books, outdoor play areas and educational materials that cater to your child’s developmental needs.

5. Staff qualifications and ratio
The qualifications and experience of nursery staff play a crucial role in your child’s care and development. Enquire about the staff-to-child ratio to ensure that each child receives adequate attention and supervision. Qualified and compassionate educators who are passionate about early childhood education can significantly impact your child’s learning journey.

6. Inclusivity and diversity
Choose a nursery that celebrates diversity and promotes inclusivity. Look for settings that embrace children from various cultural backgrounds, abilities and family structures. A diverse environment fosters tolerance, empathy and respect, providing valuable learning experiences for children as they interact with peers from different backgrounds.

7. Health and safety measures
Ensure that the nursery adheres to strict health and safety protocols to safeguard your child’s wellbeing. Enquire about policies regarding hygiene, illness management, emergency procedures and security measures. A reputable nursery prioritises the health and safety of its children and implements measures to prevent accidents and illnesses.

8. Communication and parental involvement
Effective communication between the nursery and parents is essential for maintaining a supportive partnership in your child’s early years. Find out how the nursery communicates with parents regarding their child’s progress, daily activities and upcoming events. Look for opportunities for parental involvement, such as parent-teacher meetings, workshops and volunteering opportunities.

9. Flexibility and additional services
Consider the nursery’s flexibility in terms of scheduling options, fees and additional services. Some nurseries offer extended hours, holiday care and extracurricular activities, providing convenience for working parents. Evaluate the cost of tuition, registration fees and any additional charges to ensure they fit within your budget.

10. Gut feeling and child’s comfort
Ultimately, trust your instincts and observe how your child responds to the nursery environment during visits or trial sessions. Pay attention to their comfort level, interactions with staff and peers and overall demeanor. A nurturing and supportive atmosphere where your child feels happy, safe and engaged is paramount in selecting the perfect nursery.

Choosing a nursery is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and research. By evaluating factors such as location, reputation, curriculum, facilities, staff qualifications, inclusivity, health and safety measures, communication, flexibility and your child’s comfort, you can make an informed choice that sets the foundation for your child’s early education in what are the most crucial years of their lives for development, building confidence and setting them up for their futures.

To discuss opportunities at our nurseries in Sussex and to book a tour, please contact your chosen setting directly. For Reflections Nursery and Forest School in Worthing, call 01903 251518 or visit www.reflectionsnurseries.co.uk. For Hove Village nurseries in Brighton and Hove, call 01273 037449 or visit www.hovevillage.com

Jul 10
Love0
Dads and family life

The essential role dads play in family life today

By family, fun for children, Mental health, play, Relationships

by Giles Alexander
Fatherhood Expert

 

Throughout history, for literally thousands of years, the principal role of a father has been to provide. But times have well and truly changed. Dads today are more actively involved in every element of raising our children and supporting our partners through pregnancy, birth and parenthood than any generation that’s come before.

Long gone are the days when expectant fathers would spend the whole birth sitting in the waiting room smoking cigars. No longer do we stroll through the front door at the end of the working day expecting the kids in bed and dinner on the table. Providing for your family in this day and age means so much more than merely bringing home the bacon.

As any working dad will tell you, being a father has never been more of a full-time job, and one that extends well beyond the traditional 9-5. Our job doesn’t stop once the monthly rent/mortgage/gas bills have been paid. Our working day doesn’t end when our paid employment finishes and we head home. Bath time, nappy changing, weaning, potty training, cooking, cleaning and emotional support are all fundamental parts of the job description.

More than ever, men today appreciate that being a dad is one of the most important jobs there is. An opportunity to build a family and shape a whole new life. To pass on our values and everything we’ve learnt to another human being, to change misconceptions and outdated stereotypes. And, ultimately, we all hope, leave a positive mark on the world. Because, beyond gestation and lactation, there really are no limits to what modern dads can do.

But this is only part of the story. To be really good parents, we need to be supportive partners too.

Because modern parenting is hard work. It used to be said that it takes a village to raise a child. And back in the day, that’s exactly how it was. New parents had so much more child rearing support from family, neighbours and the wider community than we do now. It was also much more feasible to live off one salary and still afford regular childcare, buy a house, pay the bills and buy groceries.

But the reality is that incomes today don’t cover what they used to, while societal expectations on new parents (especially new mums) are greater than they’ve ever been. Not only is the parenting role itself bigger, but more of the invisible, unpaid tasks associated with raising a family and modern life fall on new parents to complete themselves, with the so-called ‘village’ nowhere to be seen.

Given that gender inequality at work is still commonplace, this still too often leads to the bulk of the parenting and domestic load being heavily biased against women, who end up taking on the lion’s share. As modern fathers, we shouldn’t just accept this as the status quo.

It’s unreasonable to expect the weight of parental responsibility to land solely on a mother’s shoulders. Add to this all the other daily tasks we all need to complete just to get through the day – the laundry, shopping, cleaning, cooking and general life admin – and it’s even more unrealistic to expect one person to do it all alone. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day.

Of course, we all come into fatherhood with different life experiences, jobs, financial situations and support networks, which each have a massive impact on how well we can fulfil our new parenting role. And there is no such thing as the perfect dad, with each of us doing it the best we can, in our own unique way.

But no matter our personal situation, every one of us can choose to be a hands-on dad. A man who knows his stuff, rolls up his sleeves, does his fair share at home, and never shies away from his fatherly duties. Who appreciates his partner and the sacrifices they make. Who chooses to see parenting as a 50:50 partnership between two equals. And sets a positive example, both for his kids and for every new dad that comes after him, by showing them what’s possible.

It isn’t easy. Anything worth doing rarely is. The hours are long, the pay is terrible, and you spend most of your time working with someone who doesn’t speak your language, needs feeding 8-15 times a day, and relies on you to wipe their bum! But, like all jobs, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. And the rewards – well, they really are huge and will last a lifetime.

Giles Alexander is a hands-on dad of three and author of new parenting book You the Daddy: The Hands-On Dad’s Guide to Fatherhood. Find out more at

www.youthedaddy.co.uk

you the daddy
Jul 10
Love0
active fun for kids

The importance of children being active and socialising throughout the school holidays

By Education, environment, Exercise, fun for children, Green, Mental health, Playing, Relationships, Sport
by Debbie Webb
Founder of Activ8 For Kids

The school holidays can be a time for fun and relaxation, but it’s also important to keep children engaged and active during this time. School holidays are always an exciting time for children, but it can be a challenging time for parents who still need to work. This is where holiday clubs often come in, providing children with a safe, fun environment. There are a wide range of holiday clubs available depending on the interests of the children, but with the rising cost of living, parents may wonder whether the cost of the holiday clubs are worth it and whether trying to entertain them at home is a better option. So what do we want our children to be doing during the school holidays, what will help them to develop and grow as individuals and help them later in life?

As much as your child may push against routines, children actually thrive in a routine. It gives them a sense of purpose, clear expectations and a structure to their day. Routines can help their self-esteem and ensure they feel less anxious and more comfortable. Lie-ins, chilled time in front of the TV, playing computer games and having days out are all great and bring a range of benefits, but it is also important to build in time to be active and have opportunities to socialise with others regularly.

Current recommendations from the government are for children to take part in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity a day. This means their heart rate should increase, they should be out of breath and feel hot after the activity. Physical activity is essential for maintaining good health, strengthening muscles and bones, enhancing motor skills and can prevent obesity and related health problems. Ensuring your child is active every day and recognises the benefits it brings (both physically and mentally), can cultivate a lifelong habit of exercise and a healthy lifestyle. As well as keeping them healthy, being active brings so many more benefits:
• Allows children to burn off excess energy; remember school is very tiring and during the holidays they need alternative ways to channel that energy.
• Boosts confidence and promotes social skills.
• Develops and improves their fundamental movement skills of balance, co-ordination and agility.
• Improves mental wellbeing and makes them feel good about themselves. Exercise can improve their mood, enable them to experience a sense of accomplishment and can also stimulate the release of endorphins, which are natural mood boosters.
• Contributes to better sleep.
• Increases self-esteem and helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Physical activity stimulates brain function and enhances cognitive abilities. Studies have shown that active children perform better academically and have improved attention spans. During school holidays, engaging in physical activities like sports, outdoor games or even activities that involve problem solving and critical thinking can contribute to their cognitive development.
• Engaging in different activities and exploring new places fosters creativity, stimulates imagination and curiosity and also problem solving skills.

Children who get to be active everyday alongside other children will also benefit in all the following ways:
• Develop new skills.
• Develop team work and leadership skills.
• Make new friends.
• Develop independence.
• Develop their social interaction skills.
• Learn how to transfer skills across activities.

Socialising with others during school holidays is crucial for children’s social development. It provides opportunities for them to practise communication, co-operation, teamwork and conflict resolution. Participating in group activities and interacting with others helps children build friendships, develop empathy and understand diverse perspectives.

Overall, children being active and socialising during school holidays is essential for their physical health, mental wellbeing, cognitive development, social skills and creativity. Parents, carers and communities should provide opportunities and support for children to engage in a variety of activities that promote physical activity.

Debbie Webb is a qualified teacher and sports coach. She runs Activ8 For Kids and has developed programmes of activity for the different ages and stages between two and sixteen years old based on the fundamental movement skills. Visit www.activ8forkids.co.uk for more information.

 

 

Jul 08
Love0
girl canopy

Outdoor learning gives you superpowers!

By Education, environment, Forest School, Green, Mental health, Nature, Playing, Wellbeing
by Caroline Oglethorpe
Head of Nursery and Pre-Prep, Westbourne House School

Some of my happiest moments are spent outdoors, observing the beauty of nature and having adventures, and clearly children enjoy playing outside too. However, have you ever wondered how learning outdoors actually works in nurseries and schools? Early Years teachers (looking after children under five) observe significant and positive changes in children when time outdoors is used for high quality learning. So how do nurseries create these opportunities? What does outdoor learning look like? And can it really give children superpowers? Here are four reasons it can.

Taking risks!
It can feel counterintuitive to talk about wanting young children to take risks. However, it is now widely recognised that a risk-averse culture undermines children’s confidence and learning. Take the example of a nursery or school with a climbing stack for its Early Years pupils. This provides an exciting culture of risk and challenge for these young learners. For children who are not used to taking risks, the chance to climb gives them the opportunity to develop this key skill. Teachers witness the children challenging themselves, setting their own goals, succeeding and becoming more confident and motivated in doing so. This risk-taking attitude transfers to other areas of physical and intellectual learning. For example, new-found confidence outside leads to an open-minded approach to learning new phonic sounds in the classroom.

Climbing boosts handwriting
monkey puzzle The ability to write is an essential skill to learn and a tool for life. It is interesting to understand that developing children’s upper body strength is essential to help them control their hands and fingers. This is because there is a strength domino effect which starts at the top: once children can control the large muscle groups of the shoulder, upper back and core, they are able to exert more control on their upper and lower arm, which in turn enables them to control their hand well, before finally achieving fine motor control in the fingers. By climbing, pulling themselves up and hanging down, the muscles in the shoulder are well exercised and this has huge benefits for handwriting and, as they grow older, handwriting at speed.

Playdates with nature
It is easy to overlook the way our brain works and our cognitive abilities are all part of how the body functions and yet we all know how hard it is to concentrate when you are hungry, angry or both! The mind-body connection is incredibly important. Children benefit enormously from being in nature and we see calmer, happier children after they have spent time outdoors. Studies show that being in nature reduces cortisol, and therefore tension, heart rate and blood pressure, and increases a sense of wellbeing. Plus children can follow their curiosity freely and explore, enjoy and question nature along the way, boosting inquisitiveness and creativity on a daily basis.

The environment as the ‘third teacher’
Some schools and nurseries embrace the environment, inside and out, as the ‘third teacher’. What exactly do we mean by this? It is a way of seeing the possibilities of a well-thought-out environment, an environment that enables children to direct their own learning. It is about children exploring, using their natural desire to discover things for themselves, rather than having a fixed outcome from an activity.

A natural environment is obviously important and creates learning opportunities in itself. However, you can enhance the outdoor spaces further, changing them into dynamic arenas for enquiry-led learning, fostering skills such as creativity, collaboration, higher-order thinking and promoting a strong sense of self. For example:
• A climbing stack builds upper body strength and helps children to take risks.
• A den building area encourages children to develop their relationships and gain confidence in problem-solving.
• A water wall builds problem-solving and analysing skills, as well as enhancing mathematical and scientific concepts and vocabulary.
• A ‘mud kitchen’ area creates opportunities for sensory play, and the chance to apply skills which have been introduced in direct teaching time.
• A stage and music area allows children to hone their performance skills, and ensures that music and performance is accessible to everyone, all the time.

Superpowers?
So, what overall benefits do we see when outdoor learning is working well in a nursery or school? Children are more independent in their play and don’t ask what should they do. The style of play is elevated with all children better engaged. We see improved communication and negotiation. The children are more open-minded and curious in their approach to learning. The play flows seamlessly and is more creative. The children take more risks and are more resilient. They look out for one another. They problem solve and collaborate.

These are all essential life skills, learnt through outdoor and fun-filled exploration. The icing on the cake? The children’s confidence soars. Now that’s how outdoor learning gives you superpowers!

To discover more about the remarkable education at Westbourne House School Nursery & Pre-Prep, book a tour or come to our next open morning.
Please call 01243 782739 or visit www.westbournehouse.org/visit

Jul 08
Love0
adventurous play

Adventurous play

By environment, Exercise, Forest School, Green, Holiday camps, Mental health, Nature, Playing, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Dr John Allan
Head of Education at Inspiring Learning, Camp Beaumont

Adventurous play helps children adapt to the challenges of today and to face up to the demands of tomorrow

Learning new skills is fundamental to healthy, human development. Skills come in many forms – from physical movement to reading, writing and listening. Although we all recognise the power of acquiring knowledge, cultivating a child’s sense of purpose and passion must be equal to the importance we place upon their retention of information.

Nurturing an optimum blend of physical, social, cognitive and emotional literacy is most important in childhood. This is where brain growth is most prolific, and a toolkit of skill sets, such as self-awareness, creativity, trust and empathy can be fostered to help children to adapt to the challenges of today and to face up to the demands of tomorrow. We know that youngsters who score high on a combination of psychosocial skills at an early age report better adult outcomes in education, employment, and mental health.

The unpredictable and dynamic nature of adventure-based play makes it an ideal process for the cultivation of skills children require to thrive in an ever-changing world. Outdoor play combines the revitalising, mood-enhancing impact of nature with the adventurous uncertainty of youngsters interacting with each other in non-uniform playful settings without rules and restrictions. Here, children can enjoy exploring their emerging physical capabilities, take turns, co-operate and socialise; finding solutions to new problems in novel ways rather than just sticking to the tried and tested.

Adventure Education is about empowering children to take control of their own learning. This involves educators and parents being responsible without being over-protective so that youngsters are never allowed to wobble, trip, stumble or fall and as a result, miss out on the experience to know what it like to get back up again. Activities which offer some negative emotion, such as feeling unstable in the moment, counterbalanced by positive emotions such as joy, pride and attentiveness underpins a ‘steeling effect’. This helps to inoculate young people to handle more significant risks in the future.

This authentic, experiential approach of ‘learning by doing’ is the foremost guiding principle for facilitating adventurous play. This can take place in school grounds or within an out-of-school adventure camp setting, where a particular focus on specific skill sets can be achieved.

Constructing opportunities for children to be willing to take a path less travelled will make them resilient. Resilience is the learned ability of individuals to ‘bounce-back’ from adversity and ‘bounce-beyond’ their original position to face future testing circumstances with greater capacity. Resilience is recognised in school-based education as an effective policy for developing learners’ wellbeing and academic success.

Having the capacity to share positive resilient experiences with others also suggests resilience may be catching and may be a first step in helping it grow in others.

Resilience
At a time where children have faced unprecedented upheaval and threats to their wellbeing, it has never been more important to create daily opportunities for them to build their resilience. But how is resilience built through adventurous play which can positively impact other avenues of learning? The following ten tips, which collectively spell the word resilience, outline out-of-school camp practices which help build the adaptive capabilities of learners.

R – Rebound and re-invent
A child’s setback in camp can be framed as a lesson to learn and not a failure. This signifies that achievement comes because of stretching oneself by applying continued effort. This allows young people to self-correct and adjust their responses to produce gains from losses. As a result, learners will attribute their learning to themselves, and take pride in their achievements.

E – Energise
Playful experiences without obvious outcomes help to create a resilient ‘growth mindset’, where a fixed, perspective of ‘can’t do’ is replaced by flexible, task-focused ‘can-do’ persistence. This process is strengthened by camp facilitators stressing the importance of children taking small risks in new situations and not predicting negative outcomes.

S – Share
Adventure education often generates group situations that depend on social integration and collective responsibility. Such mutual reliance in testing circumstances necessitate that children balance their own needs with that of their groups.

I – Inquisitiveness
A combination of unfamiliar camp environments with unknown outcomes, provides an ideal breeding ground for children to set their imagination free and develop the fundamental skills of questioning how, what, who, when and why. This search for understanding may be further enhanced with less reliance on mobile technology which has been associated with youngsters vocalising and sharing less, limiting their questioning and failing to recognise the real-life implications of decision-making.

L – Life-enhancing
First-hand experiences combined with reflective practice consolidate children’s learning within and beyond camps. To promote lasting impact, camps should deliver activities with ‘transfer in mind’. Varied events which are responsive to enquiring minds and trigger emotions, such as laughter, incredulity and even mild apprehension, generate learning that can be recalled upon later using diaries, or creative writing.

I – Inclusion
Playful activities which provoke unwanted risk for one child may be seen as an opportunity for growth in another. Supporting learners to make personalised judgements of risk-taking based upon their perception of their abilities enables the growth of self-directed behaviour.

E – Environment
Just five minutes of exercise undertaken in an urban green space may be sufficient to boost a child’s physical and mental wellbeing. Therefore, a combination of active and restorative play in nature (like mindfulness exercises or forest bathing) meet health and wellbeing needs not able to be provided by similar activities (like traditional sports) and become even more powerful when deliberately designed for such purposes.

N – Natural
The authenticity of adventure-based play offers realistic consequences for success and failure. Allowing learners to own their responses to unfolding circumstances, helps them to see the bigger picture, take stock of facts and acknowledge others’ perspectives in becoming prepared for whatever challenges come along.

C – Control
Giving children choices and the autonomy to play and explore in a natural space is a primary mechanism through which they become freely acquainted with their environment, develop natural mapping skills and learn how to distinguish between themselves and others.

E – Emotional intelligence
The ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of others is a distinct feature of resilience learned through direct exposure to adventurous camp-based learning.

With over 44 years’ experience caring for children, Camp Beaumont run award-winning day camps in over 50 locations across London and the South-East for children aged between 3 and 14 years old. Book our multi-activity day programmes to ensure your child learns new skills, makes new friends and enjoys their most exciting school holiday yet. www.campbeaumont.co.uk

Jul 06
Love0
depleted mother syndrome

Depleted mother syndrome

By Mental health, Relationships, sleep
by Sally-Ann Makin
Potter’s Houses Nursery Settings and
Makin Connections – Family Consultancy

Depleted mother syndrome is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion experienced by mothers when the demands of motherhood exceed their ability to cope.

I had a very different idea in my head for this issue’s article, but last night I found myself feeling more than the hormonal emotions I usually feel once a month. The noise the children were making was really grating on me to the point where I desperately needed to get away from them – the screaming and shouting from a teenager playing interactive games and the loud wailing from my 11 year old playing on their computer (before you judge we had been out at football all morning and for a long dog walk in the afternoon), I’d heard “Mummy” 50,000 times mostly with absolutely nothing of any substance to follow. The house which had already been cleaned and tidied was a mess again, I was ‘touched out’ from my nine year old leaning on me for hours, my 12 year old constantly tapping me and my toddler needing to be picked up regularly. It was a Sunday evening and we all know the pressure of Sunday evening with the week ahead and the endless list of things to do looming.

As a side note, I was feeling overwhelmed after spending some time organising my fathers memorial and the sheer weight and realisation of what it was I was doing, and why, had completely floored me. I was tired from a rare evening out the night before and I was stressed because my work/life balance is balancing about as well as a rabbit and an elephant on a seesaw. Life is busy and chaotic and while I have made active decisions that create chaos, it can still be overwhelming with so very many plates to spin.

I was beginning to wonder what was making me feel so down and listless when I can usually cope fairly well and I tried to pinpoint why parenting suddenly felt so hard, when nothing major had happened. I had a really strong sense that I was just really rubbish at being a mum. I was certain other mums didn’t desperately want to escape from their children so much, other mums didn’t get irritable and short tempered with their children and other mums didn’t decide it was totally fine to not give the toddler a bath purely because he was going to scream and they didn’t have the energy for the battle. Washing needed folding and putting away, an online food shop needed doing and meals and packed lunches organised for the week.

It turns out mums can burn out too – we feel like we cannot and will not break because we are so heavily relied on by the rest of our family to function. Depleted mother syndrome can be felt by any mum at any time due to the high needs and emotional intensity of caring for a family with very little structured societal support for parents. We are over-extending ourselves and never really filling our cups back up because we either feel guilty and selfish or because we have no support network to lean on and often feel that we are the default parent.

Did you know that post partum fatigue can last for years? Your body is still recuperating even after all the midwife and health visitor support has subsided and your sleep is likely fragmented from waking with small children or just having an unreliable sleep schedule. And you might well be emotionally worn out. But just because millions of women do it every day and what you see on social media is that they’re all doing it and looking amazing, it doesn’t mean that what you’re feeling isn’t valid. You don’t need an event to validate feeling overstimulated, overwhelmed, exhausted, drained or listless – it’s normal and we’ve all been there!

Having a label on this feeling (depleted mother syndrome) has really helped me to be able to accept that what I am feeling is normal. It also helps me feel like less of a failure and that it’s OK to say that sometimes life just feels hard.

Take some time, ask for the help from people around you if you can – they don’t offer if they don’t mean it. Make a decision to not cook one night or skip bath time, remove the pressure of making sure the reading record is completed the recommended five times per week, choose to give the school raffle a swerve because trying to remember to get a prize on the way to school feels like one job too many. Sometimes you have to remove the expectation that you need to be perfect, have all your balls in the air and all your ducks in a row and realise you’re doing the absolute best you can – it might not be acknowledged by your family but it is noticed and it is valued. And you’re a queen!

Sally-Ann runs Makin Connections, Garden of Eden Preschool, Potters House Preschool and Blossom and Bloom Day Nursery. For more information please contact her at sallyann@makinconnections.co.uk or call 07939 620934

Jul 05
Love0
girls' ballet class

Studio to stage

By dance & Art, Exercise, fun for children, Mental health, Music and singing, play, Relationships, Sport, Wellbeing
by Lynda Forster
Dance Art Studio

Preparing to perform a dance on stage is a journey of commitment and dedication, bringing hours of practise to life, bringing sheer joy to the audience and an experience like no other for the dancer.

Lots of little girls and boys express an interest to start dance classes. They have no inhibitions, a natural sense of rhythm and love to dance ‘like no one is watching’ when they hear a tune. Many skip into their first class without ever looking back to their parents, whilst others, with the help of their teacher, need a few lessons to gently ease into it building their confidence with each lesson.

Dance classes have many benefits at all ages which can really help set children up for life. Children can be faced with lots of worries and upsets during their school life so having a hobby they love and a safe place to go is, at times, a huge relief.

For preschoolers a dance class will open up a whole new world – they will soon be able to isolate different parts of their bodies to move separately (a huge plus for co-ordination) and develop better overall concentration. Infant children will develop these skills in more depth, and will soon be able to raise their hand and be more involved in their school lessons because they’ve learnt participation within a dance class. Once assemblies and seasonal performances at school come round they’ll be happily volunteering for the lead parts!

At junior school, being a dancer will teach them to be physically and mentally stronger, gain more flexibility through their bodies and learn ‘time management’ to help manage academia and extra circular activities more easily which in turn will help with their all important and busy social life, with their school and dance friends – lots of parties to go to!

Starting senior school can be overwhelming for many children but most schools have a dance department where they can share their interests, make new friends and start showcasing their dance and creative skills in performances. Overall they will be confident, happier and more active teenagers. If their dance school has an exam option, they would have taken plenty of them since they were young, so again they will have learnt essential life skills; the purpose of working towards something to the best of their personal ability, revision skills, commitment skills and the experience of actually taking an exam, so hopefully the GCSE exam room will not feel as daunting.

Performing in their first dance show is where all the skills mentioned above unfold. They’ve had to work hard and wait patiently for their moment. Seeing the excitement build in the lead up to a dance school show makes all the months of hard work and effort by the teacher and the performers so worthwhile.

When practise starts for their first performance it is impossible for young children to visualise the finished piece and understand why repetition is so vital. By the time they reach dress rehearsal day, when it all comes together and the buzz is palpable, they completely understand and in fact start asking for more rehearsals so that they can work on their performance skills. At this stage they really understand it’s a team effort and they all become such close friends. Reassurance about having nerves is spoken about in a positive way by explaining about the fight or fight mode our bodies go into. It is a journey from start to finish, with them seeing how choreographers create their work from a starting point through to the finished piece. Their eyes are opened to new styles, techniques and interpretations to various music style. If the show has a theme, they have gained knowledge on the narrative and learnt how the whole production blends together.

The costumes are an extension of the dance and compliment choreography – after a couple of shows even the youngest dancers start to develop an eye for detail and will soon say if a costume isn’t quite looking right or needs an accessory added! It’s an opportunity for all the various ages to come together to inspire and support each other.

So many emotions are experienced during performance day, the excitement and happiness on their faces when they are waiting in the wings to go on stage is joyful. The nervous excitement transforms into electric energy and then the thrill of the applause which of course they love embracing!

Confident children leave the theatre feeling very proud of themselves and will hopefully remember the whole experience for many years. When they return to regular grade lessons they have a positive approach, more motivation and an understanding that you gain more from things by giving your best. A truly valuable life lesson.

Dance Art Studio is located in the Fiveways and Preston Park area of Brighton offering pre-school ballet and dance for 3-4 year olds and graded ballet, tap, modern theatre dance and street as well as boys only tap and jazz. Exams and performance opportunities. We also hold holiday workshops. www.danceartstudio.co.uk

Jul 04
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kids and politics

Let’s get politics into primary schools

By girls school, Girls school, Mental health, Politics, Relationships

Burgess Hill Girls’ Head of Economics, Politics and Business, Dionne Flatman discusses the benefits of children learning about democracy and the workings of government as early as possible.

Not just for A Levels
For 35 years I have been a teacher of A Level Economics, Politics and Business, as well as PSHE (Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education), Citizenship and General Studies. Although my focus is on A Levels and therefore older students, I strongly believe that these subjects, especially Politics should play a broader role in the curriculum in both senior and primary schools.

Politics has a significant effect on students’ lives from the day that they are born until the day they die. I want students to understand and value democracy and free speech and empower them to be active citizens. I have spent my teaching career trying to debunk the myth that these are academic subjects for experts, rather than what lies at the heart of students’ lives.

My degree is in Politics, Philosophy and Economics, but I do not think that is how I learned to be political. I am interested in the moments that fire up young people to participate and engage. That could be the school putting on a production of ‘Made in Dagenham’ or students discovering that apartheid continued to the 1990s.

To fulfil my ambition to educate a larger number of students both within and outside of Burgess Hill Girls, I recently trained and qualified as a UK Parliament Teacher, learnings which I am in the process of passing on to younger students in our school and other local schools through various initiatives.

Making politics relevant to younger audiences
One of the key challenges in educating younger audiences about how democracy and UK parliament works, is making it relevant.

Some years ago, I participated in a pilot study which looked at holistic education rather than book learning. Many schools feel they have covered cross curricular themes once they have done a curriculum audit. I think it is important to introduce something fresh and new rather than sit back and say “yep, already doing that.” Developing learning through workshop and project-based activities has impact.

At Burgess Hill Girls, we have developed a number of initiatives to increase children’s engagement with politics. We ran a mock general election alongside the 2019 election and will do so again with the up-coming election. When I launched the mock election, I wanted to get the very youngest pupils involved so I ran a competition in the Prep school to design posters to encourage voting. It opened my eyes to the fact that you can never be too young to start learning about democracy and citizenship. For Year 8 students we run a Democracy Day, where students take part in a range of activities including an online ‘be an MP for a week’ game and designing posters which they then use to take part in a mock peaceful protest. For Year 10 students we run a speech writing workshop where they learn what makes a good and bad speech and then give them the chance to write their own, including creating an alliterative one liner.

Democracy Assembly for primary schools
One of our newest initiatives is a Democracy Assembly for younger audiences. We first ran this in our Prep School and are now taking it out to local Primary Schools like Southway Junior School in Burgess Hill. Given the ages of the audience it is important to make the assembly as interactive as possible. We do this by using videos, displays, roleplay with dressing up outfits and banners with key democracy terms for children to hold up. Because the children play an active role in the assembly, they learn much more as a result. Teachers have also said that the assembly has taught them an awful lot and that they feel more confident in their teaching as a result.

It is important for everyone in schools to feel confident about discussing UK democracy and politics. My aim is to encourage active citizenship and to demonstrate how young people can influence decision making. Becoming a UK Parliament Schools Ambassador has set me on the path to achieving this.

If you are interested in Dionne giving her democracy assembly at your primary school, please feel free to contact her via www.burgesshillgirls.com

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

Jul 01
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outdoor learning

Screen time to green time – the positive benefits of outdoor play

By Digital, Early Years, environment, Family Farms, Forest School, fun for children, Green, Mental health, Nature, Playing, Summer
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Our very young children spend an increasing amount of time on screens and statistics suggest they typically spend less time outdoors than prisoners. In his book ‘Last Child in the Woods’, Richard Louv coins the concept of Nature Deficit Disorder and brings together research which indicates that reduced exposure to the outdoors is actually harmful to children. This can be mitigated by prioritising outdoor play which has a number of benefits for our preschoolers.

Physical health
Natural light and fresh air contribute to overall wellbeing, strong immune systems and healthy growth. Active outdoor play offers a wealth of opportunities for movement and exercise, promoting the development of co-ordination, fitness and motor development. It will also help children later down the line at school because cross crawl activities such as climbing or skipping get both sides of the brain working which helps mastery of bilateral tasks such as using a knife and fork, writing or using scissors. Furthermore, motor control develops from the core of the body outwards so sufficient upper body strength will be critical in developing manual dexterity.

Sensory development
The great outdoors is a sensory playground for stimulating children’s senses in ways that are just not the same indoors. From the feel of grass underfoot to the sound of birds chirping overhead, outdoor exploration engages all five outer senses, and the inner senses too, fostering development crucial for learning and perception. Children learn to observe, feel, smell, and listen, enhancing their understanding of the world around them and enriching their cognitive abilities.

Social skills
Outdoor play provides invaluable opportunities for children to interact with their peers in unstructured environments. Whether they’re building sandcastles at the beach, playing tag in the park, or working together to collect items on a nature scavenger hunt, outdoor activities encourage teamwork, communication, and co-operation. Through shared experiences and spontaneous play, children learn important social skills such as empathy, negotiation, and conflict resolution, laying the foundation for healthy relationships and social development.

Cognitive benefits
The outdoor environment is constantly changing and this supports learning and discovery through exploration, experimentation, and problem-solving. Whether it’s observing insects in the garden, identifying different plant species, or finding out what happens when you mix mud and water, outdoor play stimulates curiosity and creativity. Studies show that time spent in nature enhances cognitive function, improves attention span, and promotes mental wellbeing.

Appreciation for nature
Outdoor play fosters a sense of wonder and awe in children, and instils a deep appreciation for the natural world. Nurturing a connection to nature from an early age will teach children to understand cycles of growth and decay. Respecting and caring for the Earth and its plants, animals, and ecosystems will encourage them to embody principles of conservation and sustainability.

Whatever the weather, outdoor play will bring benefits all year round, and combat Nature Deficit Disorder. However, as the days are now starting to brighten and lengthen, there is no better time to get head out, soak up some Vitamin D and the other many benefits that only the great outdoors can offer.

Marsha Dann, lead teacher, Play B C Preschools. Play B C offers teacher-led provision, which prioritises relationships, sensitive interaction, and fun but challenging learning through developmentally appropriate activities for a wonderfully diverse cohort. More than just a place, at Play B C every day is a learning adventure. www.playbc.co.uk

 

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