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Jul 18
Love0
happy families

Why accepting ‘enough’ will lead you to a happier life

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Becky Hall
author of The Art of Enough

So many of us in everyday life feel that we aren’t enough, or that somehow we don’t do enough. We move between feeling that we lack what we need to meet the challenges of life and feeling that we have too much to do or to cope with in our busy, busy lives. Which is why I think that it’s time to re-claim the idea of ‘enough’ – re-claim it from its association with mediocrity and instead thinking of it as something to aspire to. Learning to accept ‘enough’ will lead you to a happier life.

Let’s start by asking the question, “What is happiness?” We find happiness in the moments when we are aware that we have what matters most to us. When we find ourselves noticing and really appreciating what we do have. It may seem strange but the very act of appreciation and feeling grateful for what we have actually makes us feel happier. Because we realise that what we have is ‘enough’.

Accepting that you are enough is a really practical idea – here are some tips for things you can do to make friends with ‘enough’ so that you can be happier.

1. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have.
So often in our lives we can find ourselves coming from a place of lack. We don’t have what we want, or things aren’t going as well as we wanted. This automatically tips us into a place of scarcity and triggers our defensive systems. We feel we have to protect ourselves, we hoard, we worry. Happiness comes when we are able to really turn our mind to what we do have. Whether we’re talking about our own inner confidence, or our abilities, or even what we have – finding your way to the feeling that who you are, what you do and what you have is enough is a great route to feeling happier.

2. Notice how you are really feeling.
We are emotional beings. All of us have feelings whether we like it or not. When things are tough, so often many of us just plough on and ignore our emotional reality. But this doesn’t mean our emotions go away – they just fester, ready to burst out when we don’t want them to. So instead of pushing them down – learn to notice your feelings and acknowledge them. Talk about them – let them out. The reason that this is a key to happiness is that when we bring things to light we can deal with them and make choices about how we can re-set.

3. Stop comparing yourself with others.
Have you ever had that feeling that you’re just going about your everyday business, perfectly happy with your lot, and then you see someone you know who, in your mind has just a little bit more of what you have? All of a sudden, your happiness turns into dissatisfaction, and you can get disgruntled – you’ve gone from being quite content to feeling that you don’t have enough. Happiness lies in turning this on its head. Focus on what you have, focus on how it makes you feel and resist the temptation to compare with others. You do you – it’s enough. Getting content with what’s enough for you is a great way of moving away from the magnet pull of comparing with others.

4. Zone in on what matters most to you.
Often we can get so swept up in the busy-ness of our lives that we forget to take a step back, pause and ask ourselves the question, “What really matters most to me?” So stop and ask yourself that question. When you do, it gives a really important perspective on life. Focusing on what matters most to you is a great habit – because again, you are putting your energy into what’s important and what makes you happy.

5. Get good at noticing the small stuff.
Happiness, like any emotion, is transitory. It’s not a fixed state, nor is it a magic wand that will solve all our problems. Happiness lives in the small everyday moments – if we take the time to stop and notice. That first cup of tea in the morning, the smile from a loved one, the sky on the way to work. Getting into the habit of not just noticing but really appreciating the small things is what helps re-set our emotions to feeling positive.

Becky Hall is an accredited life coach, leadership consultant and is the author of The Art of Enough

 

Jul 16
Love0
outdoor learning

Empowering our children to become change makers of the future

By Education, environment, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships
by Marcus Culverwell
Headmaster of Reigate St Mary’s School

The world is changing at a phenomenal rate and the education sector needs to respond effectively to this to make sure children are being properly prepared for their future. We need to equip young people with the right skills and knowledge to help them navigate a life where sustainability and protection of the planet are fundamental to the wellbeing of society as a whole. Schools must ask themselves – what will our children be doing in five years’ time? In 10 years’ time? Midway through their career – or, more likely, careers? How will they be changing the world for the better?

So, what can we do now to prepare them for the significant challenges ahead? It is important that children are encouraged to think ‘beyond the bubble’ of traditional schooling and we can help them do this by providing an education that includes:
• Giving back to society and the planet, more than they take – we live on a finite planet and we share our planet too.
• Taking sustainability seriously – practical application now and as future leaders in society.
• Recognising the personal value and economic importance of the natural environment – how eco-systems really work.
• Understanding how STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) can be applied, creatively, to tackle real world problems.
• Philosophy for children – to dig deep into why humanity has got into the ecological predicament we are in, and how we change the story.

At our school we have an Education for Social Responsibility programme (ESR) that encompasses all of the above and helps children to think about the core values that will lead to happy and fulfilled lives, within stable and caring communities while protecting the planet for the future. At the heart of it is a focus on the wellbeing of each of them individually, the wellbeing of teams they will work within and the wellbeing of the planet.

A community outreach programme provides children with opportunities to be part of helping and sharing with the wider community, whether locally or globally. We have a designated member of staff who oversees this and pupils run teatime concerts for the elderly, take part in a Make a Difference challenge in Year 5 and there is a whole-school sponsored walk to raise money to build water tanks in Southern Uganda as well as a dedicated charity day.

It is important that sustainability is taken seriously with issues such as climate change and caring for the planet being woven into all areas of learning. Becoming an Eco school is a good start to this and having dedicated pupil Green Leaders to discuss and implement ways to reduce the school’s carbon footprint is an excellent way to stimulate debate. We also use water butts for left over drinking water, we are careful about use of paper, recycle old pens, encourage walking to school and discourage motorists from leaving car engines idling. Children even build and code model systems such as solar panels which track the sun across the sky.

There is huge personal wellbeing value within the natural environment. To harness this, children should have the chance to take their learning outside as often as possible. Concepts can be taught in relevant and practical ways and often children can solve problems and grasp concepts outside that they have had difficulty with when in the classroom. Connecting with nature is important for wellbeing. Any outside space can be used as a nature reserve for the children to learn Forest School skills, build bug hotels, and generally feel the benefit of being closer to the natural world.

Philosophy for Children (P4C) offers a way to open up learning through enquiry and the exploration of ideas. Children learn that their ideas have value, and that the ideas of other children have value too. They realise that they don’t always have to be right, but they gain the confidence to ask questions and learn through discussion. Each lesson promotes dialogue whereby participants ask questions, sift statements and explore alternatives. Above all, children will generate a greater understanding of each other and appreciate that not everyone believes the same thing, or thinks in the same way – and that is alright. Philosophy calls on imagination and reasoning and puts these capacities to work exploring values, assumptions and vital concepts like justice, truth, and knowledge.

Ultimately, all educators need to support young people to be good citizens, with the confidence to make the right decisions and the skills needed to lead happy and successful lives – lives which are significant in a positive way. We want them to be ideas generators, good listeners, open-minded, considerate colleagues, positive influences, go-getters, self-starters, good neighbours, game changers and change makers of the future.

Reigate St Mary’s is a junior school of Reigate Grammar School (RGS), rated ‘excellent in all areas’ in an ISI Inspection in March 2023. Children enjoy busy days filled with imaginative teaching and exciting adventures focusing on teamwork, creativity, digital learning and communication. www.reigatestmarys.org

Jul 10
Love0

There’s no ‘i’ in ‘team’!

By fun for children, Mental health, play, Relationships, Sport
by Sarah Nesbitt
Kiddikicks

It is well-known that regular exercise is beneficial for a child’s physical development. What may come as a surprise though, is learning just how useful group sports can be when it comes to developing important social skills.

Working as a team
Interacting in a group sports class will help your child to recognise the importance of working as a team and interacting not only with other children, but also with their coaches. They learn about leadership, team building and communication, all of which are important life skills that will help them in school, their future career and personal relationships.

Bringing people together
Group sports classes bring together children from various religious and cultural backgrounds, which will undoubtedly provide a valuable experience. Teammates must understand how to adapt to, and accept, each other’s cultures so they can work together. Learning how to get along with people with different personalities and of different cultures is a skill that will be needed throughout life.

Coping with wins and losses
Developing a child’s competitiveness while teaching them to both win and lose gracefully can help them learn how to tackle obstacles and accept the setbacks that life will naturally throw at them. Playing sports like football will demonstrate the fundamental lessons of winning and losing which are important for a child’s development.

New friendships
Group sports classes build a child’s confidence and regular classes allow new friendships to blossom. It’s a good idea to encourage your child to get to know their new friends with out-of-class play dates or days out. It’s also useful for new parents to build a support network of new friends in their local neighbourhood. It’s a win win for adults and children alike.

Finding a class that focuses on developing skills and encouraging everyone to have fun while keeping fit, is a great start for children less than five years of age. www.kiddikicks.co.uk, Tel: 020 7937 7965 Office hours 10am – 3pm daily during term-time info@kiddikicks.co.uk during the holidays

Jul 10
Love0
pretend play

How can pretend play help children cope with the challenges of life?

By Education, fun for children, Mental health, Playing, Relationships, Theatre
by Suzy Duxbury
Principal of Dramatis

In today’s increasingly stressful, polarised and tech-dominated world, play is more important than ever. As a society, we’re still assessing the long-term impact of the pandemic – with some research suggesting the global event has undermined children’s confidence, sense-of-self, and their emotional and mental wellbeing.

The power of play, and particularly pretend play, can be harnessed to help children develop the skills they need to cope with the challenges of life.

But what is pretend play, how does it help build these life skills and how can parents ensure their children benefit?

What is pretend play?
Children have always been instinctively drawn towards play but it wasn’t until the 1890s that its wider benefits (beyond a form of entertainment) were officially recognised.

Thanks to the early pioneering work led by educators and child psychologists like Fredrich Frobel, Jean Piaget and Lev Vygotsky, the importance of play in child development is now widely acknowledged. Pretend play in particular, is noted for its ability to improve the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional wellbeing of children.

Pretend play is when children take on roles and act them out as a way of exploring (consciously or subconsciously) different situations and emotions. Classic examples children naturally gravitate towards include playing ‘mummies and daddies’, ‘doctors and nurses’ or ‘monsters and robots’.

As well as being a lot of fun, pretending to be someone, something or somewhere else, also helps children to express themselves, share thoughts and ideas, and better understand their feelings and emotions.

Children can engage in pretend play alone or with parents, but it is most effective in building life skills when done with a group of other children.

What are life skills?
The World Health Organisation defines life skills as being the attributes required to “deal well and effectively with the challenges of life”.

Whilst there is no definitive list, they are broadly recognised as being:
• Problem solving and decision making.
• Creative and critical thinking.
• Communication and interpersonal skills.
• Self-awareness and empathy.
• Coping with emotions and stress.

How does pretend play help children develop life skills?

Problem solving and decision making
At the heart of pretend play there is always a problem to be solved (some lost treasure to be found or a monster to confront!). By creating their own imaginary scenes and characters, children learn to understand different types of problems, consider different solutions to them, and then take action to address them.

Creative and critical thinking
Pretend play forces children to think on their feet and respond creatively to a range of imaginary situations. This improves their ability to think ‘outside the box’, find new solutions and generate new ideas whilst assessing information and understanding its relevance.

Communication and interpersonal
Taking on different roles requires children to share their thoughts and ideas, listen and respond to others, develop their vocabulary, and take on appropriate body language and gestures. This improves their ability to get on and work with other people, as well as effectively communicate messages.

Self-awareness and empathy
Playing out/simulating scenarios that children have limited personal experience with, helps them to better understand their own thoughts and feelings whilst building empathy and understanding for others.

Coping with emotions and stress
Creating and acting out imaginary scenes is a lot of fun and the physical element generates beneficial endorphins. Pretend play can transport children away from their daily stresses but also enables them to play out difficult situations and emotions in a safe environment. Whether they choose to use it for escapism or cathartic release, pretend play can help children to cope with problems and recover from setbacks.

How can parents encourage pretend play at home?
Whilst pretend play is most effective at building life skills when children are engaged in the activity with their peers, parents can use it to help ignite creativity at home.

When pretend playing together, it’s important that parents allow their child to “be the boss” as giving children creative control allows them to express themselves in an uninhibited way and to explore their ideas in a supported environment.

Here are three ways you can encourage your child to use pretend play at home:
1. Give them a scenario
Give them a character, a setting and an end line that they must finish their scene with and see what they come up with.

2. Give them a prop
It can be anything around the house (a bit of coloured material, a colander, or an empty trinket box). Ask them to make up a story about the item – telling them it can be absolutely anything (apart from what it really is!)

3. Make a film
Give them a character and a mystery to solve. Get them to create various scenes (in different locations in the house) and record them on your phone. Then merge the videos together to make a film than you watch together (add popcorn for extra cinematic effect!)

How can parents encourage pretend play outside the home?
Ultimately, to harness the full potential of pretend play, children should work in groups, with their peers.

Whilst children can play with friends at the local park or in the playground, it is during drama classes (under the guidance of a professional and within a structured framework) that they will really reap the full benefits of pretend play.

Working together to develop scenes and characters requires children to share thoughts and ideas whilst listening to and negotiating with others. The skills they develop will help them to become more confident, more resilient, and more empathetic so they can thrive in life.

You can find out more about local drama schools offering extra-curricular classes and workshops in the ABC Magazine Directory.

Suzy Duxbury is Principal of Dramatis, a Sussex based drama school that harnesses the power of pretend play. For more information about their drama classes and holiday workshops, please visit www.dramatis.co.uk

Jul 04
Love0
confident learners

How do we best prepare our children for the future?

By Education, Forest School, Mental health, Playing, Relationships
by Nick Oakden
Head of Junior Prep School, Hurst College

In our fast-paced, ever-changing world, Nick Oakden, Head of Junior Prep School at Hurst College, explains how we can best prepare our children for their futures. The last few years have taught us that whilst we may not know what is around the corner, or indeed yet understand the world our children will face as adults, we do know that developing a strong sense of independence will mean that our children will be able to adapt and thrive in any situation.

Developing independence is a journey, and one that should start at the very beginning of a child’s education. An independent mindset that is developed from a young age will build self-confidence, develop problem-solving skills, and encourage a sense of responsibility. Embedding an independent attitude should be a fundamental part of the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS). It starts with small practical steps such as getting dressed into their school uniform and packing their own bags which develops into shaping their own learning in a safe, nurturing environment.

One of the most critical benefits of developing independence in young children is that it builds their self-confidence. In a world where the internet and social media have a powerful influence on our children’s self-image, it is important that we embed opportunities for our pupils to develop inner confidence from a young age, about who they are and how to relate positively to others. One of the ways we seek to do this is to encourage pupils to try new things and give them opportunities to develop friendships outside of their form. We provide our pupils with a wide variety of co-curricular opportunities such as Woodland Camp craft skills, drama, dance and sporting activities, from the Reception year, to broaden their experiences and extend their learning beyond the classroom.

Independence also fosters creativity and imagination among pupils. When they are given the freedom to explore and experiment, they can expand their understanding and develop new ideas and solutions. It is important to provide pupils with tools and open-ended tasks which allow them to express themselves. Sometimes, a pot of water, a paintbrush and a brick wall are all that is needed, alongside an environment that encourages creative play.

Of course, one of the major obstacles that can prevent pupils from becoming more independent is a fear of failure. To encourage a more independent approach, we must help pupils to see failure as an opportunity to learn, rather than something to be avoided at all costs. As parents, the temptation to ‘helicopter in’ and save the day by dropping off a forgotten PE kit can seem to be the right thing to do. However, if we foster independence rather than dependency, then children will learn so much more than where the spare kit is kept at school. The skills and strategies that children develop when things don’t go to plan are vital in preparing them for the future.

In school, the learning environment should echo this ethos and be a ‘safe space’ where pupils are encouraged to take risks and make mistakes. Whether this is designing and testing experiments in a science lab, exploring Woodland School or performing on stage, pupils should focus on the importance of the learning journey, rather than the outcome. When pupils do this, failure is recognised as an important part of the journey.

Another benefit of developing independence is that it teaches pupils about responsibility. When children are independent, they learn to take responsibility for their actions, decisions and behaviour. In Early Years, examples such as self-registering, tidying the classroom and packing their school bags should be part of their daily routines. As the pupils get older, the levels of responsibility invariably increase, and they use the building blocks that have already been established to independently embrace new challenges, such as the introduction of homework.

As well as the practical aspects of responsibility, schools should allow pupils to take responsibility for their learning and develop ownership of their studies. We seek to achieve this through a curriculum that empowers the pupils. In the Early Years, child-initiated activities and discovery time are at the heart of excellent practice. This allows pupils to direct their learning around their own interests, creating purposeful and bespoke learning opportunities. As pupils progress into Key Stage One, a creative curriculum weaves together all subject areas through a thematic approach which allows them to ask questions and seek their own answers, putting in place the building blocks for independent research as they progress in their academic journey. Although knowledge is important, what will be required in the future is an aptitude for flexibility and an attitude of mind which promotes questioning and is open to new learning.

We are all aware that the world is changing, and our role as educators is to prepare pupils to embrace the future. As children become more independent, they become more confident in their abilities to think critically, solve problems and find solutions, which is a valuable skill for success in school and beyond.

As Franklin D Roosevelt famously said: “We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future”.

Hurst College is a thriving independent school for children aged between 4 and 18 with an overarching aim to provide an excellent all round education with a strong academic core and is ideally located between Brighton and Haywards Heath. www.hppc.co.uk

Apr 28
Love0
handhold

Love thy neighbour

By Finance, Food & Eating, Mental health, Special support needs
by Sally-Ann Potter
Blossom and Bloom Day Nursery

The word ‘struggle’ is by definiton to ‘make forceful efforts to get free of restraint or constriction’. So really, using the word ‘struggle’ to describe the financial difficulties so many are facing isn’t too dramatic when you think about it. The rising cost of living has seen children being stripped of ‘luxuries’ that were previously a standard part of their childhood. Swimming lessons, language lessons, playdates, day trips – all the things you enjoy doing with your children that were potentially taken for granted before our energy prices rose, and paying £400 per month for your electricity meant you perhaps could no longer afford these extra curricular activities.

Working so closely with a wide variety of families, some who know financial struggle and live hand-to-mouth and some who don’t, it has become apparent that there isn’t anyone who isn’t negatively affected by the cost of living crisis.

I’ve spoken to families who are broken; who are coming into nursery and saying they’re on their last nappy and won’t be paid for another few days, who have run out of baby milk for their newborn or because their electric meter has been cut off and it’s freezing cold.

Some days it feels as though we are living in a really depressing feature film. The damage the pandemic did to people’s mental health seems minimal compared to the pressure to keep a roof over your head and provide for your family.

So, what can we do to help each other out? Where are we able to be a bit more selfless and make a difference? Little ripples of kindess could turn into big waves and be the change we need. Maybe something as small as putting a tin of beans in the food bank at the supermarket is the most you can manage. Have you ever opened a packet of nappies, used one and realised they’re the wrong size and you can’t return them? Perhaps you could pass them onto a friend or your nursery? If you’re not able to offer any financial support, maybe you have some clothes you can donate to a clothing bank? It might seem like it isn’t significant but it is. Sometimes we don’t see the benefit of our kindness and that’s OK. It’s OK to do something to help someone without knowing if it ever did help. It probably did and that’s enough.

I live in a community that regularly sees overwhelming acts of kindness. For example, there is a house down the road which has put a shed up in their front garden that offers food that struggling families can go and help themsleves to. People maybe don’t take advantage of it, but it’s respected and appreciated and lots of people donate in order to help each other out.

We have recently opened a baby bank at our nursery. Parents can discreetly go and help themselves to anything in there that they might need. They have a code to help themselves at any time. We reached out to our local community for donations and had an amazing response. We have donations of formula, nappies, baby wipes, baby clothes and toys.

As a setting, we have taken the decision to freeze our prices, offer two meals a day for free and introduce a policy that we only charge paying parents for the hours they are using, meaning they no longer have to pay childcare fees when their child is poorly and they have to take an unpaid day from work to care for them.

What if every single person did something small to help a stranger? What would the world look like then?

For more information please contact Sally-Ann at sallyann@pottershousepreschool.co.uk or call 07939 620934 www.pottershousepreschool.co.uk www.blossomandbloomdaynursery.co.uk

 

Apr 04
Love0
body positive

Three body positivity lessons you need to teach your children

By Mental health, Playing, Relationships

There are many lessons we teach our children: from how to be kind to others, to being diligent in their studies. But the most important lesson we need to teach them is how to love and accept themselves.

As role models, we want to instill ultimate body positivity into our little ones, so that they can walk confidently on the runway of life and withstand any external criticism.

Here are the top three body positivity lessons to teach your children and help them develop and sustain their body confidence.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way
Before you even start teaching your little ones how to love their bodies, you need to instil in them a healthy perception of beauty. As the pure creatures they are, they probably already have an inner understanding that everyone is beautiful in their own way. In order to keep them open-minded about beauty standards, untouched by certain pressures from society, you need to emphasise on that. Explain to them just how diverse we are and how beautiful that is. No matter what our skin type or body size is, we are all equally beautiful and worthy. It’s likely that they will start asking you questions about people’s skin colour or disabilities, and it’s your job to emphasise the equality of beauty.

Activity idea: Take your children to the beach and observe people. Explain to them about different body shapes, skin colours and genders, and ask them to name what they find beautiful in other people. It’s likely that one of the first thing they’ll notice will be the vibrant designer bikinis people are wearing, as children are easily attracted by colour and patterns. Point to the fact how they look different on people, yet everyone is beautiful and wearing them with confidence.

By addressing any preconceptions about beauty norms from a young age, it’s likely that you will raise kind and compassionate people, who can help make this world a better place.

Self-acceptance
Your children can’t love their bodies if they’re not familiar with how they work. This is your chance to give them a few anatomy lessons.

Alongside explaining the physiology of their bodies, teach them to accept them as they are. Just like everyone is different, they could also have some features that don’t exactly fit into the ‘norm’, and that’s perfectly okay.

Young people who have a support network of friends and family will find self-acceptance easier no matter what issues arise, so that they feel more confident in their bodies.

Activity idea: Ask your children to write a list of things they love about their bodies and why, as well as things they’re good at. This will remind them that self-acceptance isn’t just about their appearance, it’s about their talents too!

Foster a healthy relationship with food
Food is fuel, and it’s vital for children to cultivate a healthy relationship with it from a young age. The earlier they learn to make healthy choices and honour their food, the easier it will be to maintain healthy eating habits in the future.

Often, children can be fussy eaters for whatever reason, but luckily, there are ways you can make food fun and a social activity that brings friends and family together.

During your children’s upbringing, it’s important that they consume all the vital nutrients and minerals to best support their growth. Use the dinner table as a place to educate them on what a balanced diet is and how to appropriately portion their meals and snacks. Explain why fruits and vegetables are important and how good they make us feel.

The best thing you can do is teach your children how to eat intuitively, meaning that they consume food when they’re hungry and stop eating when they’re full. That’s the healthiest relationship with food they can ever have.

Activity idea: Turn your nutritional lessons into a fun game by organising the foods your family eats into three groups – ‘always’, ‘sometimes’, and ‘rarely’. Nutritious foods, such as fruits, vegetables, and protein, go in the ‘always’ category. The ‘sometimes’ category can include things like a takeaway while the ‘rarely’ group can consist of sweets and crisps. Explain why these foods fall into each category. For example, crisps might taste delicious, but they’re full of fats and sugars, which are unhealthy.

Every time you have a meal or do your weekly food shopping, ask your children to class the foods they see and say why. The important thing is that you’re not restricting them from having any of the foods in these categories!

Establishing a positive body image in your children from a young age will help them have the confidence to be and do who they want. It will also help them have a better understanding of why everyone is different and unique, appreciating the world for the beautiful and diverse place it is!

For further information visit www.heidiklein.com

Mar 30
Love0
pre prep

10 tips to get your child outside this winter

By Education, environment, Forest School, fun for children, Gardening, Green, Mental health, Playing, Winter

by Heather Cavanagh
Head of Pre-Prep & Prep Burgess Hill Girls

I think most parents would agree that outdoor play is a good idea for young children. The NCT, for example cites the following benefits of outdoor play; better sleep, a fun way to learn, development of motor skills, encouraging a healthy lifestyle, environmental awareness, making new friends and positive effects on parents too.

However, as the days get shorter and the weather colder and wetter, we are all probably guilty of opting to stay inside in the warm when deep down we know we would feel a lot better if we spent more time outside.

Here are some of our tips to help you and the family benefit from getting outside in the fresh air all year round:

1. There is no such thing as bad weather
As Alfred Wainwright, the famous walker and writer, once said, “There is no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing”. If you can kit your children out with the correct warm clothes, waterproofs and wellies they will be able to play outside happily for hours. You might be able to cut down on some washing too!

2. Pack a thermos
During winter walks with my children and now my grandchildren, I always like to pack a thermos with a hot drink. The Owen family from Our Yorkshire Farm enjoy tea in theirs but you could opt for hot chocolate or even some hot blackcurrant or orange squash, and if you are feeling really generous, maybe a few biscuits or a bit of chocolate. I find it to be a useful little incentive to add a bit of excitement to a winter walk. It often provides a special family moment where we can all have a chat together.

3. Leaves, leaves, glorious leaves
Autumnal walks have to be some of my favourite. All the trees are a beautiful array of colours and there is so much you can do with leaves; see if you can catch them as they fall, build big piles and dive into them or take them home for some crafting. Or why not incentivise your children to clear up all the leaves in your garden or drive for some pocket money.

4. Get sporty
Encourage your children to take part in a sport that can be played in the winter. Most can, and I genuinely believe there is something for everyone. Team sports are a great way for children to make friends and a great incentive for children to want to go out and play or practise in the winter months.

5. Seafront walks
Being in Burgess Hill, we are fortunate that Sussex’s beaches are close by. Children love a seafront walk when the waves are crashing over the seawall and there’s a chance to get wet. If you do not have beaches nearby, get your appropriate waterproofs on and seek out some muddy puddles, if it is good enough for Peppa Pig, it has to be fun!

6. Pop to the shops
If your children are old enough and you feel it is safe to do so why not encourage them to run an errand to the local shop for you, maybe with a few pence for some sweets in it for them. Or perhaps you can all venture out together. Visiting the shop and buying some items is also a good opportunity for some impromptu maths too!

7. Borrow a dog
You may already have a dog, but if not I am sure you know someone who has one and most dog owners I know would be glad of your offer to take their pet for a walk. If your child is anything like our pupils who adore our school dog Jasper, they will jump at the opportunity to take a dog for a walk with you.

8. Night time adventures
For young children, being outside at night has something magical about it, especially if you can combine your adventure with a clear starry night, or a full moon, or just simply to go and check out your neighbourhood’s Christmas lights in December!

9. Painted rock trails
You might have heard of geocaching but did you know there are now painted rock trails popping up all over the country. Search out your local area’s web or social media pages and you will probably find details. Even better, paint your own, outside of course, and hide them for people to find on the trail.

10. Walk to school
Some families are lucky enough to be able to walk the whole journey to their school but everyone can walk at least some of the way. Just park a few streets away or further if you are feeling energetic. This will enable your child to notice the environment around them.
It will also teach them about road safety and allow you all to take part in a healthy activity together.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

Mar 15
Love0
life learning

Exam stress

By Education, Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs
by Edmond Chan
Childline Supervisor

The summer brings with it warmer weather, longer and lighter days and the inevitable stresses of school exams season. The worry of revising or not getting the grades they need can cause a lot of anxiety for young people.

This pressure means that a lot of children turn to Childline for help as they struggle to cope.

Last year our volunteer counsellors at Childline saw an increase in the number of counselling sessions they delivered about exam result worries compared to the previous year. Between April 2021 and March 2022, they delivered 781 sessions to children with worries about their exams – 30% more than the previous year.

One 17-year-old boy told Childline: “I want to do so well in my A-levels but it’s all just seriously overwhelming at the moment. My attention span has been awful lately, and I find it so difficult to concentrate and focus, and as we get closer to exams the stress increases. After I’ve finished revising, I find it so hard to switch off and then I begin getting loads of intrusive thoughts. It’s like I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and I can’t seem to escape from it.”

Exams can feel like a lot of pressure, no matter where the pressure is coming from.

Here are some tips to help young people cope:
Think positively
When we feel anxious, we can start thinking things like ‘I can’t do this’ and ‘I’m going to fail’. It can be difficult but try to replace these with positive thoughts such as ‘this is just anxiety, it can’t harm me’ and ‘relax, concentrate – it’s going to be OK’.

Be honest about how you feel
Sometimes people can put pressure on you without even realising and sometimes it can help to talk about how it makes you feel. Talking about things can help you to think about other ways they can support you in the future. If you’re worried about telling someone, you can always talk to Childline.

Don’t compare yourself to your friends
Competing with your friends can help to keep you motivated. But it can also make you feel like you’re not good enough, especially on social media. Try keeping a list of the revision you’ve done so you can see how much you’re achieving.

And here are some tips for parents and carers, to help you to be there when your children need you most:

Watch for signs of stress
Stress can be good sometimes. It can help us to work harder and focus. But it can also have a big effect and make it hard to cope. If your child is feeling stressed about their exams then they might be:
• Struggling to sleep.
• Having negative thoughts about the future.
• Getting headaches or feeling unwell a lot.
• Not eating because of how they’re feeling.
• Always thinking about their exams or worrying about them.
• Not able to enjoy things anymore.

Stress affects everyone differently but if you’re worried about your child let them know they don’t have to cope alone. Speaking to you, another adult they trust, or Childline can really help.

Talk about what’s happening
Talking about how they’re feeling can reduce the pressure and help them to feel more in control. Why not suggest they try:
• Talking to you or another adult they trust.
• Asking a friend for support.
• Getting advice and support from other young people on Childline’s online message boards.
• Speaking to a Childline counsellor.

Find ways to relax and take breaks
It’s important to take regular breaks and find ways to relax. Taking a break can leave you feeling more able to cope and even make it easier to concentrate when you start working again. There are lots of things children can do to take a break and relax, such as:
• Set a timer to take a 20 minute break every hour so they don’t forget.
• Make sure they have something to look forward to, like a treat or an activity they enjoy as a reward.
• Encourage them to plan when they’re going to start and finish their revision, so they know when to stop.

Stay healthy
• Make sure they don’t skip meals and try to eat healthily.
• Exercising can clear the mind and give them more energy. Suggest they play sports, go for a run or do some yoga.
• Urge them to practice self-care – this means finding things that help them feel calm and relaxed, such as taking a short break or getting some rest.

Exams are very important, and we really want young people to do their best. However, it’s important to remind them that if things don’t go exactly according to plan there will be lots of other opportunities for them to express themselves and succeed.

It is vital that young people feel supported by family, friends and teachers during the exam period to help them do the best they can.

Childline is also here 24/7 for any young person needing confidential support and advice. Children can call and speak to one of our trained counsellors on 0800 1111 or visit www.childline.org.uk for more information.
Mar 03
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happy schoolgirls

How to get your child to tell you about their day

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Pre-Prep & Prep School Teachers at Burgess Hill Girls

How was your day darling? Did anything good happen? Who did you play with? What lessons did you have? What did you learn? If you are a parent of a school age child, it is likely you have fired these questions at your child immediately after they get out of school. It is also more than likely that the response was simply; “good,” “yep” or “OK”, or just complete silence as your questions are ignored in favour of the TV, tablet, toys, or a combination of all three!

So, what is the secret? How can you get them to tell you more about their day? Here are some of the strategies we suggest you try.

Give them time
If you think about how you feel after a day of work, you probably want nothing more than to get home and zone out for half an hour or so. Children are the same. You can talk about something else other than their school day or just let them initiate the conversation if they want to. Otherwise give them some space and time to reset and unwind.

Model talking about your day
After some down time, when you think there is a good opportunity for conversation you can initiate discussions by modelling what happened in your day and how you feel about it. They may choose to follow your example and share something about their day. But try not to push it. They may decide to share tomorrow instead.

Vary the focus and frequency
You might be concerned about a particular aspect of your child’s interaction at school. For example, what they are learning or whether they are playing regularly with others. Often this concern will reflect in the questions you ask. To avoid your child clamming up ensure your questions are varied, especially if it is an area that they might not be comfortable talking about. Try to have days when you do not ask any questions at all. Maybe they will choose to volunteer information on their own. If they do, try to keep the conversation going with open versus closed questions.

Give them confidence
You leave the most precious thing you have at the school gate, and it requires you to openly trust those who care for your child. If you over focus on elements of the day or over question, the child might pick up on your apprehension which in turn might lead them to worry that something is wrong at school.

Try the positive sandwich method
The sandwich feedback method offers positive feedback before and after negative feedback. When engaging your child in conversation about their day, ask them to share something positive. Then ask them if anything worried them about their day. Ask them who they shared their worry with. If they did not share at school, model how they might share with their teacher in the morning and reassure them you have every confidence in their teacher to help them resolve their worry. Finally, finish off with another positive. This approach will help your child to feel confident that school is a safe place and that you trust the adults who work in it.

While we are talking about food, you might want to try making them their favourite snack or drink and sit down to enjoy it with them. As they happily munch or slurp, they might feel more in the mood to chat and share.

Focus on them
Remind your child you are interested in what they did at school not what others may have done or not done. This will avoid them becoming hypervigilant of others and help them to recognise their own gifts and talents.

Make links to their timetable
It is possible you know that they have a particular subject or activity on a specific day so you can make the discussion more focused and relevant by linking to that topic and open the conversation from there.

Be tactical with bedtime
In our experience, bedtime is often the time when children want to talk. They are clever little things, anything to delay bedtime! But you can exploit this opportunity by making bedtime a little earlier, so you allow time to chat if the situation arises. If it is an area of worry for them, they are also likely to sleep better once they have got it off their chest so try not to worry if they go a little bit over! But do not forget the positive sandwich method.

Not sharing can be a good thing!
Children will take the lead from your questions and will respond accordingly. If your questions are probing and you focus on the negative, your child might learn this is your area of interest and so will give you more of the same. Some parts of a day may not always go as your child would wish them to, but it is exceedingly rare for a child to have a totally miserable time. Try to bear in mind that happy children often do not share much about their day and that is OK.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com
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