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A guide to transitioning from prep school to senior school

By Education, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Jessica.Musgrove
Burgess Hill Girls

The transition from prep to senior school represents one of the most significant educational milestones in a young person’s life. This period of change brings exciting opportunities alongside inevitable challenges.

A good senior school will aim to make this transition as seamless as possible, offering a supportive environment where students can flourish academically and personally. Whether your son or daughter is feeling nervous or eager about this next step, thoughtful preparation makes all the difference in ensuring a smooth and successful transition.

Understanding the transition
The shift to senior school involves much more than simply changing buildings or uniforms. Academically, pupils experience more structure with deeper subject-specific studies and heightened expectations for independent learning. While primary school may have emphasised broad knowledge acquisition, the senior school curriculum develops more sophisticated critical thinking and analytical skills.

Equally important is recognising the social and emotional journey ahead. Schools understand the importance of creating a nurturing community where new pupils integrate quickly and confidently. Experienced pastoral teams understand that navigating this social recalibration can be just as challenging as adapting to increased academic demands.

Developing essential study skills
The jump to senior school often reveals gaps in study skills that may not have been apparent previously. It’s important to support students to integrate effective time management, note-taking and revision techniques into their learning from day one. Most schools offer organisational tools like planners and digital resources to help pupils establish productive habits from the outset.

Head of Academic Progress at Burgess Hill Girls, Rohaise Flint, comments”The students who thrive most quickly are those who develop systematic approaches to their studies early on. Purpose-designed study spaces and consistent homework routines create an environment where students can reach their full potential.”

Goal setting for success
Rohaise Flint recommends that pupils establish both short-term and long-term goals. This practise not only boosts motivation but also helps pupils maintain perspective when challenges arise. Whether aiming for certain grades or developing greater confidence in particular subjects, the school’s individualised approach ensures every student receives the guidance they need to succeed.

Extracurricular engagement
Joining clubs, sports, arts programmes and societies are essential opportunities for social integration, skills development and personal discovery. Pupils who engage beyond the classroom consistently report a more fulfilling and balanced school experience.

Good schools like to encourage new pupils to try several activities during their first term before committing to those that most interest them. This exploration period allows them to discover new passions and connect with peers who share similar interests, all within a supportive community.

Building Resilience
Senior school inevitably brings new pressures – academic challenges, social complexities and sometimes, disappointments. At our school, developing resilience is central to its ethos. The school supports students in managing stress through regular physical activity, mindfulness practises, wellbeing days and ensuring adequate rest and recreation.

The pastoral team facilitates open conversations about challenges, normalising the difficulties of transition. Students are reminded that setbacks are natural and often lead to greater growth and self-awareness when approached constructively – a philosophy that prepares them not just for school but for life.

Nurturing social connections
Making new friends while maintaining existing relationships is one of the most important aspects of the transition. Our school has a house system, team activities and collaborative projects with the local community, each providing natural opportunities for social connection. The parent association organises informal gatherings with classmates and a vibrant calendar of school social events ensures every girl feels part of the community from day one.

Digital and resource readiness
At our school, we utilise state-of-the-art digital platforms for assignments, timetables and communications. Beginning September 2025, the school is implementing a 1-to-1 leased device programme, empowering students with flexibility in their learning environment while ensuring seamless access to all academic materials.

The parent’s role
As parents, striking the right balance between supportive involvement and encouraging independence can be challenging. At our school we partner with families through regular communication and parent workshops that provide valuable insights into supporting this transition. Also, an open-door policy ensures parents can always reach staff when guidance is needed.

Student testimonial from Charlotte W. Year 8
“I was incredibly nervous about moving up to senior school last year. After seven years at my small prep school, everything seemed so much bigger and more intimidating at first. But looking back, I can’t believe I was ever worried! During the first week, my form tutor organised these brilliant icebreaker activities that helped me connect with everyone quickly. The buddy system meant I had a peer who checked in regularly, which made navigating the school and new routines so much easier. What surprised me most was how quickly the teachers got to know me personally. My English teacher noticed I was quiet but had strong written ideas, so she encouraged me to join the debating club, which has completely boosted my confidence. The transition was an adjustment – I had to get used to moving between different classrooms and managing more homework – but the organisation skills we learned in the first term made a huge difference. Now I’m helping with this year’s new students, and it’s amazing to see them settling in just like I did. Coming to BHG has been the best decision ever – I’ve discovered talents I never knew I had!”

We believe a successful transition to senior school balances rigorous academic preparation with compassionate emotional support and engaging extracurricular opportunities. Our 120-year tradition of educational excellence, combined with its forward-thinking approach, creates an environment where every girl can thrive.

You are invited to experience the difference for yourself, with places available in both prep and senior school. Contact the admissions team today to arrange a visit and discover how the school transforms potential challenges into opportunities for remarkable growth and achievement.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, please visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

 

skateboard lesson

They’re not broken – it’s their superpower potential

By ADHD and neurodiversity, Education, fun for children, Mental health, special educational needs
by Jack Francis
The Skate Club

How passion helps neurodiverse children discover their ‘superpowers’

A few months ago, I stood in front of 200 primary school children, sharing stories from my life – skateboarding down hills with Christmas trees strapped to my board, struggling to keep up at university and writing a book I never thought I’d be able to write. As I spoke, a boy turned to his mate and whispered, “I’ve got ADHD and dyslexia – like him.” That moment stuck with me. That small moment of recognition, pride even, is why I’ve been doing these assemblies.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at university, and ADHD much more recently, as an adult running a skate school. Growing up, these weren’t framed as ‘superpowers’. At best, they were obstacles. At worst, signs of somehow falling short. I’d often been called bright, but that made it harder – like I had all the pieces, just not the ability to put them together.

It’s only in recent years that I’ve come to see how much of what I’m good at – from teaching, to coaching, to running a business – is tied to the way my brain works. My hyperfocus, creativity, energy and problem-solving skills aren’t things I’ve achieved despite my neurodiversity. They are my neurodiversity. And I’m not alone.

The power of passion
In every school I visit, there are children sitting quietly with heads full of big ideas, or legs bouncing under the table. Some have diagnoses, many don’t. They might struggle with reading, listening, or managing frustration – but the potential in those children is massive. What they need isn’t ‘fixing’. What they need is space to explore something they care about, something that lets them feel good at being themselves. For me, that thing was skateboarding.

Skateboarding gave me freedom. It wasn’t about winning or being picked for a team. It was about solving tiny physical puzzles – how to move, how to balance and how to land a trick. It was social but low-pressure. I could focus completely on what I was doing, fail over and over again and still feel proud of the progress. Looking back, skateboarding was the first place I truly felt capable.

Today, as a skate coach, I see the same thing in other children – especially those who are neurodiverse. Children who are anxious or fidgety, or who’ve been told they “Just need to focus,” often find a rhythm through skating. I’ve watched children go from nervously standing on a board to rolling down ramps on their own, grinning from ear to ear. Some of them go home and do their reading for the first time in weeks. It’s not about the trick – it’s about the shift in how they see themselves.

Reframing ‘difficulty’
One of the challenges for neurodiverse children today is that their journey often begins with being told what they can’t do. A diagnosis, helpful as it is, can also carry an unspoken message: you’re going to struggle. And yes, there may be challenges. But there are also advantages – and children deserve to hear that side too.

Dyslexic thinkers often have strong visual and spatial awareness, creative imagination and big-picture thinking. Those with ADHD may have intense focus (on the right task), incredible energy and rapid-fire ideas. Autistic children often bring attention to detail, emotional honesty and deep interests. But these traits only shine when we let children follow what they love.

That’s the heart of it: when a child finds their passion – whether it’s skateboarding, coding, storytelling or animals – it becomes a doorway into confidence. Passion gives purpose to their focus, structure to their energy and joy to their learning. And when a child starts seeing themselves as someone who can, not just someone who struggles, everything changes.

The adult’s role
As parents, educators, and carers, our role isn’t to tell children who they are – it’s to notice when they light up, and to help them follow that thread. Sometimes that means letting them try unusual things. Sometimes it means not pushing them to do what everyone else is doing. And sometimes it just means listening when they talk about something they care about.

Skateboarding might not be your child’s thing – and that’s fine. But something is. There’s something out there that lets them feel free, focused and fully themselves. Our job is to help them find it. Not to demand they perform, but to offer them the kind of support that says, “You’re not broken – you’re just different and that’s a strength.”

I still get overwhelmed. I still struggle with admin. I still forget things. But I’ve also built a skate school, written a book and coached hundreds of young people. And I’ve done that not in spite of my neurodiversity, but because of it.

So when your child gets obsessed with something, try not to brush off. Watch closely. That might just be the spark that helps them discover their superpower.

Jack Francis is the founder of The Skate Club and author of “How to Train Your Skateboard”, a beginner’s guide to skateboarding.
www.theskateclub.com

girl in forest

Let them climb

By children's health, Education, environment, fun for children, Green, Safety, Wellbeing
by Lucy Owen-Collins
Head of Adventures at Bee in the Woods

The powerful benefits of outdoor risky play

In an age of screen time, padded playgrounds and hyper-awareness of safety, it can feel instinctive to shout “Be careful!” every time your child climbs a tree or scrambles up a boulder. But what if, in our effort to protect, we’re holding our children back?

As parents, we want to keep our children safe, but research shows that too much caution can actually hold children back from vital developmental opportunities.

Risky play; those thrilling, uncertain, physical experiences like climbing, jumping from heights, balancing on logs, or exploring wild spaces – is more than just a childhood rite of passage. It’s a crucial ingredient in how children grow into confident, capable, resilient adults.

Author and childhood play advocate Tim Gill, in ‘No Fear: Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society’, argues that children need real opportunities to test their limits and take measured risks. When we support rather than suppress this kind of play, we empower children to become more aware of their bodies, make better decisions and develop lifelong emotional resilience.

The benefits of risky play
Physically, risky play helps children build strength, agility, coordination and fine motor control. Scrambling up a climbing frame, balancing on a log, or running across sand not only keeps children active – it enhances their core stability, posture and endurance.

Sensory development also thrives in outdoor play. Movements like spinning, swinging, rolling and balancing stimulate the vestibular and proprioceptive systems – key components in helping children understand where their body is in space. These experiences lay the foundation for everything from focus and attention to emotional regulation and coordination.

Cognitively, risky play sharpens problem-solving and decision-making. Children must assess their environment – “Is this branch strong enough? Can I jump that far?” – and adjust their approach in real time. This self-assessment builds independence and executive function.

Socially and emotionally, children learn to regulate emotions like fear and frustration, and to persevere after a fall or failure. When playing with others, they negotiate, take turns, lead and follow – all vital skills for life. Risky play also nurtures courage and self-esteem: there’s nothing like the glow of pride after scaling a tall rock or swinging across a stream.

Risk is not the enemy – danger is
There’s a difference between risk and danger. Risk is a challenge a child can see, consider and try to overcome. Danger is something hidden or poorly understood. As adults, our role is to assess the environment, offer guidance and stay nearby, rather than removing every possible hazard or stepping in too soon.

Forest School Leaders often use a ‘risk-benefit’ approach – recognising that the benefits of play with risk often outweigh the downsides when managed sensibly.

Supporting safe risky play: What parents can do
Instead of shutting down adventurous play, we can shift how we support it. Here are a few ways parents can help children assess risk:
• Talk it through: Ask, “What’s your plan?”, “How could you do that safely?” or “What’s your next step?” These questions should help children think critically and prepare.
• Model curiosity, not fear: Stay calm and positive, even when your instincts are shouting. You can always move closer or spot from a distance.
• Celebrate effort, not just achievement: Say, “You tried that really carefully” or “I noticed how you tested that first”, to reinforce thoughtful behaviour.
• Know your child: Every child has a different threshold for risk. Trust their instincts, but be there to encourage and, occasionally, challenge them.

What to say instead of “Be careful”
“Be careful” is vague and often ineffective. Try these alternatives:

• “Can you find a steady place for your feet?”

• “Use both hands.”

• “Take your time and notice what’s around you.”

• “What’s your plan if that wobbles?”

• “I’m right here if you need me.”

These phrases promote awareness, decision-making and reassurance without instilling fear.

Risky play in different environments: Safety tips
Outdoor environments offer rich, natural opportunities for risky play. Here’s how to support children’s exploration safely and confidently in a few common settings:

At the beach
• Water safety first: Teach children to respect the tide, watch the sea and stay within view. Watch for strong currents and always stay close when water is involved.
• Digging and climbing: Sand dunes and rock pools offer exciting climbing opportunities. Encourage kids to test ground firmness and wear shoes with grip.
• Sensory-rich play: Let children roll, bury, balance, and run. Sand is a great medium for physical and imaginative play, but remind children not to dig too deep or tunnel near unstable edges.

In the woods
• Tree climbing: Don’t lift children into trees to climb them – encourage them to understand their own abilities by climbing themselves. Encourage kids to “climb down as well as up”- if they can’t get down safely, they’re too high. Avoid trees with dead branches and teach children keep ‘three points of contact’ on the tree at all times (two hands, one foot/one hand, two feet)
• Sticks and stones: Playing with natural materials builds creativity and coordination. Teach children how to carry sticks safely (point down, away from faces).
• Rough ground: Roots, mud and slopes are ideal for balance and proprioception. Wear shoes with grip and support falls as learning moments rather than failures.

On climbing equipment or rocks
• Let them fall small: Risky play doesn’t mean no bumps or bruises, but small falls teach children to adapt and try again.
• Check surfaces: Sand, bark chips or grass under climbing equipment help cushion falls. Encourage safe jumping and always remind children to look before leaping.

Why it all matters
When we give children permission to play with risk, we do more than help them become physically stronger. We show them that we trust their judgment, believe in their resilience and honour their growing independence.

Let’s raise children who aren’t afraid to fall, try again and learn through doing. The outdoors is their natural training ground. So next time your child teeters on a tree limb or builds a fort from branches, take a breath and remember: this is childhood, exactly as it should be.

Bee in the Woods Kindergarten is a woodland preschool and community Forest School for three to seven year olds, based in Portslade and Stanmer Park in Brighton.
For more information www.beeinthewoods.co.uk

upside down selfie with kids

The benefits of an active holiday camp

By environment, fun for children, Holiday camps, Mental health, Wellbeing
by Emily Finch
Ultimate Activity Camps

The school holidays are a time for children to take a break from the school routine, have fun, relax and recharge but they can also be an opportunity for growth, adventure and to learn new skills. Holiday camps offer a fantastic alternative to boredom at home, long hours in front of the screens and finding fun and engaging childcare solutions for parents. Active holiday camps create the perfect environment for children to stay fit and build valuable life skills through physical activities, games and team challenges.

Active holiday camps are more than a way of burning off energy. They can support children’s mental wellbeing, help them make new friends, and even spark a lifelong love for the outdoors. Whether it’s boosting their confidence through new experiences or simply encouraging healthy habits, the benefits go far beyond the holiday itself.

Improved physical health
Activities like sports, swimming, hiking and obstacle courses help improve cardiovascular fitness, strength, flexibility and coordination. Regular physical activity can also boost the immune system and supports healthy growth and development. With a range of activities throughout the day to participate in, an active holiday camp will help children get moving and trying new activities can inspire a love and help exercise to become a regular occurrence.

Being on camp for a day, a week or the whole summer can help to create a lifestyle change. An active camp creates a fun atmosphere and where it’s normalised for children to be on the move. Enjoying themselves in this environment means it is likely children will want to carry it on outside of the camp, creating a new norm. By being outside and in the natural environment, whether that is whilst on a multi-activity camp, on school playing fields or a sports specific camp on astro turf or specialist surfaces or survival camps in the woods all these will help children appreciate the outdoors, fresh air and a gain a respect for nature.

Boosts mental wellbeing
Being outdoors and engaged in fun physical activities releases endorphins that help elevate mood and reduce stress and anxieties. The regular exercise children get in an active holiday camp can also boost their mood and improve their focus. Being active will also naturally tire a child out, meaning they will come home from camp and have a deeper and more restful night’s sleep, which will help improve their overall mood and wellbeing.

Active camps also help to develop children’s social skills. They are a great place to meet new people and make new friends. Many activities on an active camp involve an element of teamwork, bringing all kinds of children together to work towards a common goal. Children learn to communicate, co-operate, resolve conflicts and support one another – skills that are essential in all areas of life. The shared experiences create lasting memories and bonds.

Active camps also help build confidence and independence. Trying new activities with new friends and succeeding while being supported by new peers helps build confidence and self-esteem. Whether it’s on the football pitch or in the art room, being praised and supported by others leaves children with a sense of achievement. Being in a new environment without their parents, with unfamiliar faces and possibly unfamiliar surroundings, encourages children to step out of their comfort zone. They learn to adapt to new instructors/teachers and navigate new conversations and friendships on their own, giving them invaluable life lessons and skills.

Reduces screen time
Holiday camps, and active camps especially, can be a great way to pry digital devices from children’s hands. The limited screen time creates a great opportunity to reconnect with play, the outdoors and simple childhood fun! With all the activities on offer and action-packed timetables, children’s devices will be a distant memory. Reduced screen time increases focus, creativity and emotional regulation, on and off of camp.

Promotes learning through play
Many activity camps incorporate learning into the timetable, almost like sneaking extra vegetables into dinner by cutting it very fine! This can be through teamwork, creative thinking or STEM. Activities like team-based problem-solving games, treasure hunts and movement-based STEM challenges help children develop critical thinking, communication and collaboration skills. All while staying active, making learning feel exciting and rewarding. Whether they’re figuring out clues in a scavenger hunt or building a structure that can withstand movement, children are developing skills that will benefit them long after the camp day ends.

At Ultimate Activity Camps, children can enjoy a range of over 40 sports, games and craft activities each week, led by inspiring staff in superb facilities – running at 45 locations this summer! For further information about camps near you please visit www.ultimateactivity.co.uk

singing teacher

A musical childhood

By Education, Mental health, Music and singing
by Sarah Jones
Director of Prep School Music St Catherine’s

Head of Prep School Music at St Catherine’s, Sarah Jones, explains why she believes that music is such an important part of a primary school education. Music has been deeply woven into human culture for centuries, from the rhythmic beats of ancient drums to the intricate compositions of classical symphonies and the infectious tunes of modern pop.

For children, music is more than just entertainment – it plays a crucial role in their cognitive, social and emotional growth. In primary schools, where young minds are highly receptive, incorporating music into the curriculum provides benefits that extend well beyond the classroom. As education becomes increasingly focused on academic assessments, it is essential to acknowledge the importance of music education and preserve its place as a fundamental part of the primary school experience.

One of the most convincing reasons to incorporate music into primary education is its significant impact on cognitive development. Research consistently shows that music education enhances brain function in ways that boost academic achievement. Children who participate in music learning exhibit improved language skills, better memory retention and enhanced problem-solving abilities. For instance, playing an instrument requires the brain to decode complex symbols and translate them into physical movements, stimulating both the left and right hemispheres, which strengthens neural connections.

Additionally, music education is closely linked to improved maths skills. The rhythmic patterns in music closely align with mathematical concepts like fractions, sequencing and spatial awareness. As children practice these rhythms, they naturally reinforce their understanding of essential mathematical ideas in a fun and intuitive way.

Beyond academic benefits, music plays a significant role in supporting emotional and social development. In the early years of primary school, children are learning to navigate complex emotional landscapes and form social bonds. Music provides a safe and expressive outlet for emotions, allowing children to process feelings that may be difficult to articulate through words alone.

Group musical activities, such as choral singing or instrumental ensemble performances, encourage teamwork and cooperation. In these settings, children learn to listen to each other, maintain rhythm together and contribute to a collective goal. As well as being lots of fun, these experiences foster a sense of belonging and teach essential life skills like empathy, patience and collaboration. For many children, participation in musical activities boosts self-esteem and provides a sense of achievement, especially when they perform in front of an audience.

In an educational system with a focus on standardised testing, there is a risk that creativity might take a backseat. However, creativity is an essential skill for future success, and music education offers an ideal platform for its cultivation. Through music, children are encouraged to explore, experiment, and express their individuality. Whether they are composing original songs, improvising with instruments, or interpreting music in their own unique way, these activities promote creative thinking and innovation.

Moreover, music provides opportunities for cultural awareness and appreciation. Exposure to diverse musical traditions broadens children’s perspectives and helps them develop a deeper understanding of the world. Through music, they learn to value diversity and embrace a global outlook – qualities that are vital in today’s interconnected world.

Music education also plays a key role in developing fine and gross motor skills. For instance, playing an instrument demands precise finger movements, hand-eye coordination, and good timing. Even simple activities like clapping to a beat or dancing to music help improve physical coordination and rhythm. These motor skills are particularly important in the early years when children are honing their physical abilities.

Additionally, music and movement activities contribute to physical wellbeing. Dancing to music provides a fun and engaging form of exercise, helping to counteract sedentary habits and fostering a lifelong enjoyment of movement. This well-rounded approach to education recognises the connection between mind and body, supporting both physical and cognitive growth.

The benefits of music education extend well beyond the primary school years. Early exposure to music often sparks a lifelong passion for the arts, whether as a personal interest or a professional pursuit. Children who engage with music at a young age are more likely to continue enjoying and participating in musical activities throughout their lives.

Additionally, the skills fostered through music – such as discipline, perseverance and the ability to work toward long-term goals – are valuable in many other aspects of life. Learning to play an instrument or master a musical piece requires patience and consistent effort, teaching children the importance of hard work and delayed gratification. These lessons become essential as they grow and encounter new challenges.

Music is a cornerstone of a holistic education. Its benefits extend across cognitive, emotional, social, and physical development, nurturing skills essential for academic achievement and personal growth. In a rapidly evolving world, where creativity and adaptability are highly valued, the significance of music education cannot be overstated. By prioritising music in primary schools, we provide children with the tools they need to succeed while fostering a lifelong passion for learning and self-expression. A musical childhood is not only an educational asset – it is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

St Catherine’s Prep School extends a warm welcome to parents who would like to visit the school. Visit www.stcatherines.info to find out more about upcoming open mornings and arranging a visit.

 

exam stree

Exam stress

By Education, Mental health
by Edmond Chan
Childline Practitioner

As we begin to welcome in the spring, the lighter evenings and warmer weather, as parents of school-age children, we also start to usher in exam season – a period which can bring with it anxiety and worry for parents and children alike.

Older children can sometimes be a bit more accustomed to the process of revision and exam preparation. But for children at primary school about to do their SATs, it’s often the first time they’ve experienced the examination process, and it can feel very daunting.

One 11-year-old girl* who contacted Childline told counsellors: “I’m stressing out about taking my SATs. It’s a lot of pressure and I worry I’ll be in the bottom set. My older siblings didn’t have to take them because of COVID. I feel like nobody understands or listens to me.”

Exams can be extremely stressful for children and cause them a lot of worry and anxiety. But there are some simple things you can do to support them and help them prepare.

Before the exam, you can help them take control by designing a revision plan together and building time for relaxation into it. If you’re not sure where to start, the BBC Bitesize revision planner can help you: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zn3497h

It’s important to remove any distractions so they can focus on their revision. Make sure they put their phone away and turn off the TV during their revision sessions to aid their concentration. You could even offer screen-time as a reward for revision time.

A good night’s sleep is really important, so make sure they go to bed early to get some rest the night before an exam. This will help them more than revising all night. And don’t forget to set your alarm to get them up and ready for school in plenty of time.

On the day of the exam, it can help to try and stay positive. Remind them all they can do is try their best. If they’re worried, they could try watching some funny clips on YouTube – laughing could help them feel less stressed.

They might say they don’t feel like eating, but ensuring they eat a good breakfast before they leave the house will help them feel energised and improve their focus. Drinking lots of water to stay hydrated is vital too, and if they start to feel stressed or anxious, suggest they try taking deep, slow, calming breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth.

During the exam it’s important they read the instructions on the paper before they start and ask if they’re not sure about anything. Remind them to take a moment to read the question and a few seconds to breathe before they start writing anything, to help them gather their thoughts.

If there’s a choice of questions, it might be best to start on the ones they know they can answer best, leaving some time to read over the answers at the end. If they get stuck, suggest they move onto a question that they can answer better.

When a child is worried, one of the most important things they can do is to talk about how they’re feeling. Talking can reduce the pressure and help them to feel more in control, so remind them they can come and talk to you about any worries they have. But if they find that difficult, they can talk to Childline, free and in confidence.

Children and young people can call 0800 1111 to speak to a trained volunteer counsellor over the phone or visit www.childline.org.uk to chat online using our 1-2-1 service.

You can find lots more advice and practical tips on the Childline website www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/school-college-and-work.

*Snapshots are based on real Childline service users but are not necessarily direct quotes. All names and potentially identifying details have been changed to protect the identity of the child or young person involved.

 

happy mum ADHD

Five survival tips for an ADHD parent

By Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs
by Alex Partridge author and host of the ADHD Chatter podcast

As someone with ADHD, I know it enables me to do amazing things, but I also know it also holds me back in some areas. If you’re a neurodiverse parent, parenting forces you into those areas where ADHDers often struggle, such as organisation, planning and consistency.

With this in mind, here are five tips that I’ve put together with help from other ADHD mums and dads to help you survive the amazing, wonderful, challenging roller-coaster that is parenting.

1. Make sure your ADHD is well-managed
Having a baby to care for means the scaffolding we ADHDers put around us to keep stable can be in danger of becoming wobbly. You may need to add reinforcements, such as hiring a cleaner so you don’t have to think about housework as well as a baby.

You may also need to make adjustments to your daily routine so you can remain by your baby’s side. Instead of jogging outside, for example, you could exercise inside with the help of a YouTube video. If meditation is something you use to keep yourself stable, you may need to do it during the unpredictable moments of silence throughout the day, rather than your usual set time.

2. Protect your slots
Parenting author Kirsti Hadley shared a brilliant analogy with me, where you imagine that all humans have a cognitive load consisting of five slots. When we encounter something that puts a demand on us, one of the slots gets filled.

A neurotypical parent’s slots will fill up with demands such as: I need to change my baby’s nappy, I need to prepare my baby’s food, I need to give my baby some medication, I need to buy my baby new shoes or let’s plan a nice weekend trip away with my baby.

However, a neurodivergent parent’s slots will fill up with demands or questions such as: My baby’s screams are over-stimulating me, I need to remember the travel directions to the nursery, where did I put my car keys?, what will the other parents think of me? or I haven’t drunk any water today. Our slots get filled up much quicker because a lot of the demands that come with parenting are high ‘executive function’ demands.

The early stages of parenting put a lot of extra demand on our brains so it’s vital we protect our slots, especially in the early days. To do this, I’d advise asking for help – this automatically doubles your available slots! I’d also suggest prioritising social encounters that matter to you and declining ones that don’t.

3. Establish a structure
The word ‘routine’ sends a shiver down my spine, but it’s important to try to establish a structure that works for you. Use any quiet time in the evenings to plan the next day. What will your child be wearing? Where will they need to go?

An ADHD brain comes alive as the day progresses. Take advantage of your ‘evening’ brain by using it to plan the morning activities. There will also be fewer demands on you in the evening as the world is winding down, so there’s less chance of you being interrupted.

4. Don’t feel ashamed of screens
There’s a lot of shame surrounding children’s use of screens for entertainment, especially on social media, but it’s especially important for neurodivergent parents to ignore this narrative.

Back when we lived in tribes in small villages, parents had help looking after their children. These days, a lot of parents are left alone to do the job, so we should never feel guilty about using modern technology to help us create our own village. Having a moment to recharge your cognitive batteries will be beneficial to you, your mental health and your child.

5. Find time for you
This is important for every parent, but especially for neurodiverse ones. To help do this, use the anagram WEBS: W: Walk (go for a walk). E: Early morning routine (create a morning routine that includes solitude). B: Baths (have a hot bath in the evening). S: Stretch (incorporate stretching in your day when possible).

Every part of WEBS can be as big or as little as your time allows. A walk could be as simply as pacing the length of your kitchen a couple of times. A stretch could simply involve making the movement of picking something up from the floor more intentional.

It’s the intention that really matters, and that is to create a moment, no matter how small, where you can focus on nothing but the moment and relax. These little moments are really important because they provide a pause between the demands of parenthood and therefore help to minimise any overwhelming feelings.

What all these tips have in common is creating a parenting structure that works for you and your child, which doesn’t have to be one that follows conventional norms. When we stop thinking the ‘traditional’ way is the right way, we can begin to make simple accommodations within our neurodiverse households that will make for a happier environment – and much happier parents and children.

Alex Partridge is the founder of LADBible and UNILAD and the host of the ADHD Chatter podcast. His book Now It All Makes Sense: How An ADHD Diagnosis Brought Clarity To My Life is out now, published by Sheldon Press, priced £16.99.now it all amkes sense

 

child-feel-heard

Five tips to help your child feel heard

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Language, Mental health
by Dr Naveen Puri
Medical Director, Bupa UK

1. Listen actively
It’s easy to overlook your children’s problems, especially when you’re busy or having a tough day. However, it’s important for them to know you’re ready to listen. Make sure to listen to your child without interrupting. Show that you value their thoughts by giving them your full attention, maintain eye contact, nod and respond to show you’re engaged.

This will help build trust and reassure them to share their feelings and challenges with you as they grow up.

2. Create a safe space
Look for chances to talk together. Sometimes, having a face-to-face conversation can be tough, so chatting while on a walk or during a car ride can make it easier as you’re not facing each other.

Remind them regularly that they can talk to you about anything, no matter how difficult, and that you won’t judge or blame them. Your child may not be ready to discuss something right away, so let them know you’re there to listen whenever they feel ready.

3. Look for clues in their play
When children become upset or stressed, they may show their feelings through play rather than words. For example, if your child is play fighting with their toys, don’t be afraid to call it out in a non-judgemental way, by saying things such as “There seems to be a lot of fighting today” or “That looks pretty scary”. This can encourage them to talk about what’s bothering them.

Don’t be discouraged if this doesn’t start a conversation. Having you around may help them feel more comfortable and make it easier for them to share their problems when they feel ready.

4. Use simple language
Talking about different feelings with your child is helpful for their emotional development. By using simple language, you can help them understand and express their emotions better.

Here are a few things to consider:
• Use clear emotion words
Stick to basic words like ’happy’, ‘sad’, ‘cross’ and ‘worried’. This helps your child easily identify and relate to their feelings.
• Label their emotions
When you notice your child expressing an emotion, it can be useful to help label it for them. For example, if they appear to be upset or crying, say, “You look sad”. This shows them that you understand what they are feeling and helps them learn to recognise their emotions.
• Encourage open questions
Ask open-ended questions that prompt your child to share their feelings. Instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” try, “What made you happy today?” This encourages them to think about their emotions and express themselves more fully.
• Share your own feelings
Healthily show your child that you feel emotions too. For example, say, “I felt worried this morning when I couldn’t find my car keys as I didn’t want you to be late for school.” This normalises talking about emotions and reinforces that it’s OK to be open about your feelings.

5. Acknowledge your child’s feelings
Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, it’s essential to validate your child’s emotions and support their development. Here’s how and why this is beneficial:
• Recognising complex emotions
Experiencing a wide range of emotions can be overwhelming for your child. Whether it’s frustration over a difficult homework assignment or sadness after a disagreeing with a friend, try to recognise these feeling and help them understand that it’s OK to feel them. Reassure them by saying things like, “I see that you’re feeling upset about this” to show them that their feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
• Normalising emotions
Letting your child know that it’s normal to have different emotions helps them feel less alone. They may worry that their feelings are unusual or that they shouldn’t feel a certain way. Validate all their emotions by letting them know it’s OK to feel whatever they’re feeling, and that everyone has a range of emotions. This can reduce anxiety about their feelings and encourage them to express themselves more freely.
• Building trust and respect
Acknowledging and respecting your child’s behaviour helps them to learn that you take their feelings seriously. For example, saying something like, “I understand why you’re feeling this way, it makes sense”, reinforces that you value their views and what could be troubling them. This can help strengthen the bond between you both.

It’s also important to take a moment for yourself and reflect on your own feelings. Make time for activities you enjoy, spend quality moments with your child and keep a positive outlook. If things become difficult for you to cope with, remember to stay connected to people you trust. You may find it easier to speak to a health professional if you find it difficult to open up to those close to you.

For further information from Dr Naveen Puri, Bupa Medical Director please visit www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/health-blog/author-profile/m-p/naveen-puri

IVF couple

Demystifying male infertility

By family, Health, prenancy, Relationships
by Professor Geeta Nargund
Medical Director abc IVF

Infertility is still widely thought of as a female issue. Yet our research revealed that the male biological clock has a more prominent role in the outcome of IVF treatment than was initially thought. Why is male infertility less understood and what should men and couples be aware of when considering starting a family?

Media stories of older fathers have helped to perpetuate the myth that men do not have a biological clock – but celebrities like Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are the exception to the rule. It is important that men are educated about the impact of their age on their fertility so that couples can make informed decisions about when they want to start a family.

The impact of paternal age
The facts are clear: paternal age impacts the outcome of IVF treatment. For women aged between 35 and 40 with a male partner aged 40 and over there was a steep decline in the live birth rate. To be precise, the live birth rate dropped from 32.8% where the father was under 35 to 27.9% where the father was aged between 40 and 44. The most dramatic decline in the live birth rate was to 25%, in cases where the father’s age was over 55. This can be attributed to both the quality and quantity of a man’s sperm decreasing with age.

Increased paternal age can also lead to a higher risk of miscarriage. The rate of miscarriage is twice as high for women with male partners over 45 years old compared to women with male partners under the age of 25.

Paternal age did not have the same impact on women under the age of 35 or over the age of 40 conceiving. This is because the eggs of younger women are better able to repair the higher incidence of DNA damage that are often found in the sperm of older males.

In addition to affecting conception, paternal age can have an impact on the couples’ children as well. The offspring of men who are over 45 are five times more likely to have an autism spectrum disorder; five times more likely to have mental health problems; and thirteen times more likely to have an ADHD diagnosis.

For a long time, a woman’s age and fertility have been assumed to be the only determining factor in the outcome of fertility treatment. This research disproves that myth by revealing that men too have a biological clock.

It is now time couples were better informed about the impact of the male biological clock on their fertility. This is why I have campaigned for a national curriculum that promotes fertility education and is committed to empowering young people with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions about their future.

Optimising your fertility health
So, what are the options for men looking to boost their fertility levels? Well, there are a variety of things that can be done, but the most important rule to remember is that your general health and fertility health go hand in hand – so it’s best all round to aim for a healthy lifestyle.

This will include cutting down on alcohol and quitting smoking as well as eating a healthy, varied diet. I would also recommend exercise which is helpful for lowering stress levels and keeping within a healthy BMI range.

Reasons for male infertility
We’ve established that exercising and cutting vices such as alcohol and cigarettes can improve fertility. The logic follows that the inverse (excessive drinking and a no exercise) can increase the risk of infertility.

However, there are also genetic and medical conditions which can contribute to infertility that men need to be aware of. For example, varicoceles (prominent veins); blockage of the ejaculatory ducts; undescended testis and testicular tumours can all contribute to infertility. Additionally, whilst this condition is much rarer – impacting 1% of the male population – extreme cases of azoospermia result in seminal fluid which contains no sperm at all.

Furthermore, sexually transmitted infections and underactive thyroids can increase the risk of infertility in men and women alike.

When to seek medical help
It is time to speak to a doctor if the couple have been trying to conceive for six months and if the female partner is over 35 and the male partner is over 40. Similarly, if both partners are under 35 and have been trying to conceive for 12 months, they should also seek medical advice. This will allow the couple to explore the available fertility tests and treatments, if that’s a path they wish to pursue.

Knowledge is power
Whilst the prospect of male infertility and a male biological clock may sound daunting, an awareness of these issues is crucial in allowing men to make informed decisions about their fertility health. One approach is to have a national curriculum which highlights infertility prevention, arming the next generation with knowledge and destigmatising the topic of male infertility.

Professor Geeta Nargund, Senior NHS Consultant and Founder and Medical Director of abc IVF and CREATE Fertility. For further information please visit www.abcivf.co.uk or www.createfertility.co.uk

lonely sad boy

Thousands of lonely children turn to Childline for help and support

By Childcare and Nannying, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

In 2023/24 the NSPCC service delivered almost 5,000 counselling sessions related to the issue, both online and over the phone from one of their 13 bases around the country. Concerningly, loneliness was given as one of the main reasons for young people calling Childline about problems with their mental health.

Reasons children and young people have cited for feeling lonely in the last year include moving house or school and having to make new friends, their parents working long hours, being bullied by peers,and seeing their friends having fun on social media and feeling as though they are missing out.

One 16-year-old girl said to Childline: “I feel so lonely all the time, I end up crying and trying to sleep until the feeling goes away. I’ve tried to help myself, but nothing worked. I feel like I’ve been this way forever, I need this to change.”

The charity is revealing these figures to remind children and young people that they are not alone with Childline ready to provide help and support 24/7.

One girl aged 11, from Scotland, told Childline: “I feel so lonely at school, I only really have one friend. What’s harder though is I feel I can’t talk about how much it upsets me. My parents seem annoyed or judgemental when I try to talk about my feelings. Speaking to Childline feels like a weight has been lifted.”

To support young people who may be dealing with loneliness, the NSPCC also offers an online service called Building Connections.

This service, available to anyone up to the age of 19, matches young people with a trained befriender for 11 weeks who will help them to build their confidence and better manage their loneliness.

To refer a child to the online Building Connections service visit: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/services/building-connections?modularPage=make-a-referral

Advice for children who are struggling with their mental health and/or loneliness includes:
• Do things that feel positive: Try your best to take part in activities you enjoy, whether that’s playing a sport, listening to music, reading a book, or drawing. Small positive actions really can have a big impact on your mood.
• Take care of yourself: When you are struggling with difficult feelings, it is important to continue to prioritise your basic needs such as eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of your body can have a positive impact on your mental health.
• Try to find ways to socialise: Whether it’s joining a club, connecting with peers at school, or reaching out to a trusted friend, prioritising socialising can help to reduce feelings of loneliness
• Remember it is always OK to ask for help: Speak to a trusted adult, a teacher, a friend, or contact Childline. No matter what you’re feeling, you don’t have to go through it alone.
• Consider signing up to Building Connections: If you’re 19 or under and struggling with feelings of loneliness, consider signing up to the NSPCC’s online Building Connections service. This service will pair you with a trained befriender who will work with you to give you the tools to tackle loneliness.

Shaun Friel, Childline Director, said: “It’s heart-breaking to see so many young people turning to Childline because they feel lonely and isolated. We know how much of an impact loneliness can have on children’s mental health, often leaving them feeling hopeless and unseen. That’s why it’s vital that children know they don’t have to face these emotions alone. Childline is here for every young person, no matter what their situation. Whether they’re missing a friend, struggling with school holidays, or finding it difficult to talk to those around them, our counsellors are ready to listen and provide support.”

Tips for adults to help children and young people who may be experiencing loneliness include:
• Communicate openly: Encourage children to talk about their feelings and listen without judgement.
• Discover what’s causing the problem: Gently explore why they might be feeling this way and validate their emotions.
• Encourage socialising: Help children find opportunities to connect with peers through hobbies, clubs, or activities.
• Help them build their confidence: Celebrate their strengths and achievements and remind them of the positive relationships in their lives.
• Build a supportive environment: Loneliness isn’t something that can be resolved with one conversation. It is important to create an environment of openness where a child can talk to you about their feelings and any struggles they may be facing.

Childline is available for young people via the phone on 0800 1111 and online through the 121 chat on www.childline.org.uk/get-support/message-boards/