family Archives - Page 7 of 19

Feb 15

Do I need an antenatal class?

By Iain Boyle Education, family, Health, prenancy, Relationships

by Jackie Whitford
www.birth-wise.co.uk

“I’m pregnant with my first baby and all is going well. My sister has just had a baby and has told me all about it and given me the books she found useful. I think I have all the information and support I need.” I’ve heard this sort of viewpoint expressed ever since I started holding antenatal classes (over 40 years ago) but now followed by… “And of course I can get any other information from the internet!” So why indeed would you need an antenatal class?

Firstly, you will meet a group of women and their partners who are at the same stage in their lives and chances are you will meet your new friendship and support group. My own antenatal class pals are still great friends, meeting up regularly some four decades later!

Early parenthood is a time of big changes and transitions (like starting school or leaving home) and it is great to meet others on the same journey sharing all its excitement and uncertainty. My antenatal classes usually form their own WhatsApp groups – it’s good to chat to someone else who is in exactly the same boat when you are doing a feed at three o’clock in the morning!

Secondly, regardless of what worked (or didn’t) for your sister/friend/mum, labour and birth are as individual as you are. What was OK for them, may well not be for you. A good class will set out your choices. It should give you knowledge, skills and confidence as to where you have your baby and the options available to you. Through looking at the latest research and discussing with others, you can choose what feels right for you – whether it’s an elective caesarean or a hypnobirth.

A good antenatal class should also prepare you for Plan B – what if your labour doesn’t go as you had hoped? In a recent class, one of the women had planned and booked in for an elective caesarean. She was attending classes to make local friends and wasn’t really engaged with discussions about physiological labour. However, her baby decided to make an early and rapid entry into the world. She said, “Although I was shocked, it’s not what I had planned, I knew what to do. Somewhere I could hear you saying breathe out, relax, you can do this.” Labour and birth can be unpredictable and you need to be knowledgeable and confident to cope with all possible variations.

Which class?
I would recommend choosing a class that runs once a week over five or more weeks ideally to start from week 30 or 32 of your pregnancy. This gives you a chance to really get to know others in your group and a chance to practice the many comfort techniques introduced plus plenty of time for questions. Ideally your class will be run by someone with a breadth of experience both personally and professionally and be committed to supporting you in the birth experience that you want.

“I think attending a good antenatal class will prove to be one of your best decisions, with the benefits of ongoing support and friendship.”

Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield. For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk

Feb 14

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Cycling is ‘jogging’ for your child’s brain!

By Iain Boyle children's health, Christmas, Education, family, fun for children, Toys

by Russell James
Glide Balance Bike Classes

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that are the most rewarding. Learning to ride a bike without stabilisers is one of them. Once your child has a bike, cycling is a fun and free activity that they can enjoy with friends and family for life.

It’s easier to learn to cycle when you’re young and it’s a life skill that your child will have forever.

Encouraging your child to ride a bike while they’re young helps to establish healthy exercise habits that are likely to stay with them for life.

Bike riding is a skill that comes with a whole range of benefits. While most of us know that regular cycling contributes to better physical health, there are plenty of other reasons why learning to ride a bike is more important than ever. Here are just a handful of them.

Bike riding is a great way to get your children excited about outdoor exercise from an early age.

Getting outdoors is wonderful for children. They get natural sunlight, which gives them vitamin D, and they get a lot of fresh air, which allows them to get a good sleep at night. The better sleep they get, the healthier they are and the more their body will be able to grow.

Physical activities like cycling have a positive effect on your children’s brain. There’s a very simple reason for this: during physical activity, your child’s whole body, including the brain, is supplied with more oxygen-rich blood and nutrients. This enhances your child’s ability to concentrate and think creatively.

Cycling plays an important role in the overall growth of your child. Riding a bike not only improves physical fitness, it also benefits your child’s learning development and mental health, allowing them to grow mentally and emotionally, gaining strength in their decision making ability. Research shows that students who ride a bike to school are more focused and ready to learn, compared with those who are driven to school by car.

Taking part in re girl unsteady on bike gular physical activity also has links to increased happiness, as well as giving children more opportunities to make friends and social connections.

Cycling is an activity that all ages can enjoy. Mums, dads, children and even grandparents can take part in a family bike ride. It’s a great way to share some quality time, and it’s good for you too. Remember, the key to family bike rides is to have fun. So start slowly and take plenty of breaks to give little riders time to rest.

Teaching your child to ride a bike has long-term benefits for the environment. Using active transport like cycling instead of driving reduces carbon emissions, eases traffic congestion and eliminates parking problems. Less pollution and less traffic means our communities will become greener, healthier and less stressful places to live.

Bikes could be described as the perfect vehicle for transport. Once your child gets older, riding a bike becomes a quick and healthy way for them to get to and from school, sporting and play activities. Even better, it saves you time because your child won’t have to rely on you for lifts – now that’s a benefit every parent can relate to!

Jump on a bike and cycle with your children and you could see the kind of health benefits gym members dream of. Cycling raises your metabolic rate, helping you to keep the weight off. Regular cyclists are as fit as an average person 10 years younger. Cycling firms the thighs and bottom, and can even help tone the tummy muscles.

According to a recent survey a third of primary school children have not learnt to ride a bike. Glide wants to change this. Glide, teaches children from two to four years old to ride their balance bikes confidently in a group environment on a weekly basis during term-time. Glide then teaches primary school children to ride their bikes without stabilisers in two hour sessions during term-time (five children max) and three hour sessions (10 children max) during the school holidays. Lets make Britain stabiliser free!

www.glidebalancebikeclasses.com

Feb 14

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Parenting hacks no one tells you

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, family, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships

by Richard Templar
author of ‘The Rules of…’ series.

Being a parent is always going to be tricky at times, and while there’s no magic wand to make it run smoothly all the time, there are strategies that will help make it easier and more enjoyable. I’m not talking about tips and hints for potty training or getting them to sleep, useful as some of those can be. I’m talking about mindsets that will help frame your attitude to the whole parenting thing, in ways that make your life – and the kids’ lives – easier.

Do not be afraid of a bit of boredom
There can be pressure nowadays to run your kids around to countless after-school and weekend activities – football, swimming, drama, martial arts, dance, music classes and sessions. It keeps them busy, and boy does it keep you busy. However, the best thing for kids to do with their free time is nothing at all. That’s because it frees up their imagination and encourages real creativity. It’s actually better for the kids to run around together with sticks making up games, or look under stones in the park for insects, than to be organised by someone else. Being bored is the best stimulus the imagination can have, and most kids – especially if you can get them together with siblings or other kids – won’t stay bored for long. Our kids are going to grow up into a world where creativity and imagination are hugely valued, yet they risk having had less chance to cultivate it than previous generations. So give them a head start by incorporating loads of empty time into their week. That’s not to say all extra-curricular activities are a bad thing – they can be great – but while your kids are young a couple of sessions a week is plenty, and it’s healthier for them to fill the rest of their time themselves, while you settle down with a cuppa.

Sibling squabbling is healthy
I mentioned siblings back there, and if you have more than one child you’ll probably have experienced your share of sibling squabbles. So know this: squabbling is really healthy. It’s better than not squabbling. Yes I know it doesn’t always feel that way, and sometimes less is more, but next time you hear the kids bickering or fighting, smile and tell yourself it’s a good thing. Why? Because until you squabble, you can’t learn how to resolve an argument. Your kids are learning how far they can push someone, what helps get the other person on their side, how to control their anger, what works and what doesn’t – and all with someone who can’t just walk off and say “I’m not your friend any more.” Most of the world’s best diplomats grew up with siblings. So appreciate the squabbles despite everything and, above all, don’t impose solutions on them – make them find their own. You know the sort of thing: “I’m taking it away until you both/all come and tell me how you’re going to play with it without arguing.”

Lead by example
A good friend once asked me, “How do I get my kids to understand do what I say, not what I do?” The answer is very simple: you can’t. You have to set the example and if you can’t do it, why would you expect a child to be able to? Especially when the person they most love and respect isn’t doing it. So, if your child forgets their pleases and thank yous, or is always interrupting, or shouts at you a lot, it’s worth checking your own behaviour. I’m not saying it’s always down to you – lots of kids go through these phases without any help – but if your record isn’t a hundred percent, you’ll improve their behaviour much faster if you can change your own. And it’s surprising how many parents give their kids instructions without a please, or forget to say thank you to them. It’s understandable in the hustle and bustle of parenting, but you’re making your own job harder than it needs to be.

Healthy parenting – not perfect parenting rules of everything
And finally, always remember that you shouldn’t even try to be perfect. Can you imagine what a burden it would put on kids to have perfect parents? Parents who were always right, who gave you nothing to kick against? Who couldn’t model how to apologise for mistakes because they never made them – or how to make up after an argument because they never argued? A perfect parent gives their child no clue how to be human, how to be flawed and imperfect but accept themselves as they are. If you can be a bit forgetful, or short-tempered, or neurotic, brilliant! That’s just what your kids need to see – that normal healthy adults can function perfectly well, and have great relationships, without having to be entirely prefect in every way. So next time you think you’ve messed up, don’t berate yourself. Just think, “Phew! I’ve dodged being perfect!”

Richard Templar is the author of the global best-selling ‘The Rules of…’ series. The Rules of Everything is published by Pearson, priced at £12.99, and is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

Nov 20

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Five things to tell your child about the cost of living

By Iain Boyle family, Finance, numeracy skills, Relationships

by Brean Horne, a personal finance expert at NerdWallet

As the rising cost of living continues to stretch budgets with little signs of slowing down, it can be an extremely worrying time for many people. This is especially true for families and can create questions that are difficult for parents to answer. Parents should be setting time aside to engage in conversations with their children about the cost of living crisis in order to lessen their concerns. Below, Brean discusses how parents can tackle the topic of money when talking to children, and stay realistic about any financial sacrifices that may be needed.

Strike the balance
Honesty is always the best policy, and while ensuring your child is aware of the realities of the rising cost of living is important, it is also crucial to avoid unnecessary panic or worry, and strike the right balance between explaining the seriousness of the situation with not alarming them.

At the moment, while it is not necessary for a child to be too concerned about the intricate details of budgeting and saving, it’s a good idea to make your child aware of the increase in the cost of heating, petrol, groceries, and other essential items.

Be clear with children if the current climate means you have to cut back on some of their favourite brands at the supermarket, or if you need to take them to more budget-friendly clothing stores to pick out new items. Reassure – but don’t promise – them this should
only be temporary and help them to understand how important it is to appreciate all that they do still have, rather than what they don’t.

Be realistic
In the lead-up to the Christmas period, many children may start sharing ideas with their parents of the gifts they want to see sitting under their tree come 25th December. However, this year many may struggle to create a similar festive experience for their own families whilst dealing with ongoing financial pressures.

In order to still create a fun and memorable Christmas for your children, it’s wise to prepare them sooner rather than later that certain sacrifices need to be made if they want certain Christmas presents or experiences, such as swapping pricey weekend activities like cinema trips for a day exploring local walks or visiting a local free-entry museum. Not only will this hopefully help children to realise that parents don’t have access to unlimited wealth to treat them with, it should also emphasise the magic of Christmas and how lucky they are to have a family willing to cut back so they don’t go without.

Be wary of shock value
More often than not, children will consume a lot of information from their peers or from unsourced articles shared to social media platforms written to shock and generate headlines. Both of these are notorious for exaggerating or expanding on the facts of a story or subject, and should not be the way a child is gaining knowledge of the current crisis.

Depending on their age, sit your child down for a frank and honest conversation on the issues that are most concerning to them, and try your best to reduce any panic or worry that they have heard through others or online. Point them in the direction of child-friendly websites that can outline the most pressing issues in easy to digest language, and reassure them that you are always available to answer or tackle any questions or concerns they have.

Teach them about budgeting
Parents can use the cost of living crisis as an opportunity to educate children on the importance of budgeting and saving for a rainy day. Highlighting different issues surrounding inflation, energy bills, how interest rates affect things like mortgage repayments and credit card loans, and even how inflation works, will give them a better perspective on the crisis and is something that they are unlikely to be exposed to within school settings.

For older children, this is also an opportunity to help guide them to set up their own financial accounts, such as a children’s bank card or a prepaid card. This will help them learn how to budget, manage their finances, and understand the satisfaction associated with saving up to purchase something for themselves.

While some children are simply given pocket money or a weekly/monthly allowance, now is a great opportunity to give children age-appropriate chores in order to earn some money themselves.

Involve children in making cost-effective savings around the house
Budgeting doesn’t have to be boring, and there are a multitude of useful and fun ways you can involve children with budgeting tasks around the house.

Set children a task to plan budget-friendly meals with a certain amount of money or ingredients you have in the fridge and cupboards as a Master Chef style challenge, or get them involved in cooking/baking large batches to freeze for a later date – a great way to save money and reduce food waste.

In order to help them understand the energy crisis a little more, it’s also worth setting them the task of ensuring no electronic devices or switches are left on unnecessarily around the house – which can of course be incentivised with rewards.

Article supplied by NerdWallet www.nerdwallet.com/uk/current-accounts/

Nov 10

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More than just a story… The importance of drama

By Iain Boyle Christmas, dance & Art, Education, family, Music and singing, Theatre

by Jess Wittert
Prep School Head of Drama, St Catherine’s Prep School

Each summer term, many primary and prep schools end their Year 6 KS2 journey with a public performance of a musical, play or even a pantomime. This is not because teachers have run out of curriculum content at the end of Year 6, or that we want all students to go on to be actors! So, why has this become a convention? In short, ‘putting on’ a play can be an incredibly rich learning experience for young people, whilst it is also an opportunity to stretch and challenge students in a range of capacities.

Stories have an important place in helping children and adults alike to understand the world we live in. Through stories we are invited to explore different cultures, characters, relationships and emotions. We can travel to new places and realms. They aid us in evolving an enhanced appreciation of ourselves and the roles we can adopt amongst our peers. Every year, I choose the story that my students will discover through our production with great care. Often, coming-of-age tales seem incredibly relevant; stories where characters go on rich adventures, face complex challenges and have no choice but to learn and grow from their mistakes. Tales where characters must work together to achieve a common goal, or where children’s voices hold important messages that are heard by the adults around them are also subjects that young people connect with and are inspired by.

If every opportunity is seized, there is wonderful scope for creating a powerful cross-curricular approach to developing a show. By learning about the literature, history, art, music, and dance that surrounds a story, we cultivate an appreciation for traditions, beliefs, design and stagecraft. As part of the preparations for our school’s recent production of The Lion King this term, the girls studied the patterns, designs and colours used in African prints before creating their own designs for fabrics, masks and marketing materials. They studied each character in the script and crafted symbols and emblems to represent them; meticulously forming links between characters who were related or belonged to the same group. Later, these were hand printed onto fabrics using block printing techniques so that they could finally be made into the cast’s costumes. Through workshops with external educators, they learnt about the importance and significance of symbolism in Adinkra printing; the rhythms and collective energy used in African drumming; and the storytelling techniques, as well as traditional movements, that can be generated through dance. We focused on the importance of recycling materials and made masks and props out of plastic milk bottles. This process was amazing – our girls were captivated by the transformation achieved with these simple objects. In addition to this, by singing songs in African dialects, we enhanced our understanding and appreciation of sounds and languages. The opportunities for extending the students’ learning through stimulating and interlinked topics are boundless.

One of the most significant aspects of all the productions that I have been privileged enough to be involved with has been the way in which the whole school community comes together to contribute towards the show. All who take part bring their own zeal, interests and attributes; we encourage everyone to become involved in an aspect of the show which they are passionate about or challenged by. Not all students, for example, want to take part as performers so they choose to acquire talents as stage managers, puppeteers, or technical assistants. Watching everyone discover what they can achieve as part of these ventures is brilliant.

It is always my hope to inspire confidence in all my students so that they leave the prep school feeling that they can achieve anything that they set their minds to. By working together as a large team with their peers, teachers, parents and helpers, they appreciate that a broad breadth of skills should be brought to any project. That being part of a community, creating links in one’s learning and sharing rich experiences is not only life enhancing but also empowering.

Before our most recent production, an 11 year old student came to my desk. “Thank you,” she said, “I really didn’t want to do it but now, it’s my destiny.” She was referring, rather effusively, to our recent Year 6 theatre production and her calling to be part of future theatrical casts. Why was she so gushing, you may ask? One could make many assumptions as to where her enthusiasm stemmed from, but simply, the experience of being part of an ensemble cast, rehearsing, crafting and performing our musical had given her a deeper sense of self-confidence, a keen interest in stagecraft, a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and team spirit, whilst she had learnt a great deal. Yet, most importantly, the event had brought real joy. Understandably, she wished that she could relive this process all over again, moving from perceived dread to elation!

“I’m going to audition for everything I can,” were the last words my student said to me as she left my desk. What a wonderful metaphor for life.

St Catherine’s Prep extend a warm welcome to parents who would like to see what this actually looks like here at St Catherine’s, Bramley with regular Open Mornings. Please visit our website for further dates and information www.stcatherines.info

Nov 07

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Is live theatre the key to empathy and academic achievement in children?

By Iain Boyle Christmas, dance & Art, family, Music and singing, Party, Theatre

by Summer Jeavons
Yvonne Arnaud Theatre

During the past few years countless children have missed out on trips to the theatre – whether with their family or on school trips – due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Many things have changed during that time, but can we afford to let children and young people miss out on the experience of seeing live theatre? Dr Natasha Kirkham, a professor in Developmental Psychology at Birkbeck University doesn’t think so. She conducted a study in 2017 which that found taking children to see theatre can significantly positively affect their academic performance as well as allowing them to develop their social, emotional and cognitive skills.

In terms of the benefits of theatre on academic achievement and comprehension of set texts, seeing a play live in the theatre rather than on a screen has been found to improve children’s academic performance and engagement with set texts, as well as allowing them to achieve a deeper understanding and appreciation of the material. A two-year study conducted by the Brookings Institute found that increases in arts learning, such as engagement with theatre, significantly affect students’ school engagement, university aspirations and their likelihood of drawing on works of art as a means of empathising with others.

Exposing children and young people to theatre was also found to be a powerful tool for facilitating their self-efficacy (an individual’s belief in their capacity to act in the ways necessary to reach a specific goal) to promote positive social change, improving their ability to discuss complex and difficult subjects as well as developing their empathy.

Children’s empathy and emotional intelligence are developed through everyday interaction but they are also nurtured by music, books, and in particular, watching live theatre performances. When watching characters interact on stage, we as the audience connect with them and experience what they are thinking and feeling as if we were thinking or feeling it ourselves – we are practicing how to understand others. Having a safe space to explore difficult emotions is essential to strengthening empathetic muscles and live theatre provides the perfect platform for this. Bill English, founder of the San Francisco Playhouse, states that: “Theatre is like a gym for empathy. It’s where we go to build up the muscles of compassion, to practice listening and understanding and engaging with people that are not just like ourselves. We practice sitting down, paying attention and learning from other people’s actions. We practice caring.”

Theatre nowadays is more accessible to children and young people than ever. With shows to cater for all ages – from theatre designed for babies and toddlers, to stage adaptations of the nation’s favourite children’s books – the world of the stage is increasingly one that children and young people are welcomed into and inspired by. For older children and teenagers, theatre can start to rationalise and provide context to the complex world around them, often representing their own experiences and allowing them to feel heard and that their voices have value. At a time when they are likely to be struggling to establish their identity, theatre can be absolutely invaluable.

Taking your family to the theatre can be a fantastic way of making lasting memories and spending real quality time together. For children (and grownups!) going to see a play feels like something special, something out of the ordinary. Whether it’s the grandeur of the building itself, finding your red velvet seats or begging for a tub of ice cream in the intermission, the experience of going to the theatre is something unique before the play has even begun.

And when it comes to Christmas, there’s nothing quite as magical as taking the kids along to see a festive pantomime. Local pantos have become an institution for many families, coming along every year for adventures with all the sparkles, songs and slapstick silliness you could ask for with everyone from children to grandparents in tow! At a time when everyone is being brought together, there’s nothing quite like a panto to get the whole family humming festive tunes and full of cheer ready for the big day. With true love, a comedy dame, a grand adventure, spectacular dance routines and a heart-warming moral at the core of the story, there’s something for everyone.

Whatever age your kids are, there is always something valuable to be found from seeing theatre. Whether it’s engaging their imaginations and allowing them to dream, opening their minds to others’ perspectives or helping them to engage with and enjoy the texts they are studying at school, the experience of seeing live theatre is unequalled.

The magic of pantomime is something the whole family can enjoy and at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre it’s always wonderful to see multi-generational families in the audience. The theatre has lots of upcoming family shows, including festive panto Jack and the Beanstalk! www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk

Nov 03

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Have you heard about the latest trend in childcare?

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, children's health, Education, family, Relationships, Work employment

by Adele Aitchison
GrandNanny Founder
www.grandnanny.co.uk

New childcare services in the UK are offering families the chance of reliable, flexible, part-time childcare from experienced over-50s. From mental wellbeing, to being a substitute grandparent for families, the benefits of intergenerational childcare are becoming clear to parents, children AND older workers.

Parents can all identify with the strain of stretching their time to cover work, home admin, the school or nursery run, and after-school activities. Twenty four hours in a day don’t seem enough! ‘The juggle is real’ and whether your child is in nursery or school, finding the right childcare solution can be fraught with worry and frustration, especially at a time when some nurseries and after-school clubs have shut down locally.

It’s clear that families need reliability and experience. Now that many people’s work patterns have changed from the classic ‘9 to 5’ – whether because of flexible working, working from home, or night shifts – flexibility is also really important, but often difficult to find.

As a new solution, the UK has recently started adopting a trend that’s already popular in the US and Japan – matching older people with young families, to give them the reliable, part-time childcare they desperately need. Research has shown intergenerational programmes can improve mental and physical wellbeing for older people, whilst helping the kids they care for have better age-empathy, development and social skills.

As founder of GrandNanny, I was inspired by my memories of being looked-after, as a child, by my grandparents. My grandparents were very involved in my childcare growing up, but when I moved to London, I realised loneliness among older adults is a huge issue. This is especially true for those who aren’t in touch with family or who aren’t working. I felt strongly that families were missing the huge experience and care older adults can bring. I could see very clearly the benefits of connecting older people to those in their communities and have seen hugely positive feedback from all age-groups.

For older workers, nannying can promote mental and physical wellbeing, with a job that keeps body and brain active and provides a valued role in the family and wider community. If they were previously not considered for a job because of their age, their experience is viewed with a fresh perspective – as a valuable skill – and they are ‘seen’ again by the society. Parents get reliable help from someone who really gets to know their family and child and has a range of skills and specialist knowledge from their previous careers. Kids get all the great stuff you’d expect, from someone to help with reading or homework or to bake, play music and go to the park with.

Anna, a 57 year old former receptionist who lost her job last year, started nannying two months after being made redundant, taking care of siblings aged seven and three. She became a grandparent figure for them – getting them ready in the morning and taking them to school, cooking dinner, and reading a bedtime story. Having three grown-up girls and a grandson and always looking after kids for friends, she had plenty of personal experience of childcare. Anna says working as a nanny helps her to keep a young and optimistic outlook and spend time in the fresh air, but also gives her the flexibility to look after her own grandson while still earning an income.

The family Anna works for say she has been a great help to them, really helping lighten the load. She has also become a ‘substitute grandparent’ to the children in her care, something that’s all the more precious because they don’t have their biological grandparents close-by.

So far, as this new approach to childcare takes off in the UK, a huge range of over-50s, from musicians to events organisers, former teachers to nurses say they have found a new and rewarding career as a nanny. They can bring unexpected skills in creativity or learning that the family might not get in a different childcare setting, as well as specialist knowledge for children with specific additional needs.

The families who’ve seen the huge benefits of an over-50s childcarer for their families, really appreciate the flexibility and peace of mind such a service offers.

For anyone who may not have had a nanny before, this important new trend seems to be a win-win-win situation for everyone involved.

Nov 01

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The power of panto!

By Iain Boyle Christmas, Comedy, dance & Art, family, fun for children, Theatre

by The Capitol, Horsham
images by Toby Phillips Photography

For many children the only time of year they will visit their local theatre is to see a pantomime, often as a school trip, so it’s important their experience is a good one and one where some lifetime memories will be made.

Can you cast your mind back and remember the first ever pantomime you saw?

The magic of live theatre is as salient for children as it’s ever been, providing time away from screens, mobile devices and their day-to-day world into a place which is new and exciting, lots of fun and encourages imagination.

Pantomime provides a chance for children to come together with all generations of their families to see a live show which will make everyone laugh, sing along and feel happy.

The word ‘pantomime’ comes from the Greek word ‘pantomimos’, which meant a dancer who acted all the roles in the story. Pantomime, as a type of theatre, originates from ‘Commedia dell’Arte’, a 16th-century Italian entertainment which used dance, music, tumbling, acrobatics and featured a cast of mischievous characters including a Harlequin, a mute, quick-witted rascal who carried a magic bat, wore a mask and dressed in clothes made of patches.

Until 1843, theatre licensing restricted the use of spoken word in pantomime. The Theatres Act lifted the restriction, allowing any theatre without a royal patent to produce a play with dialogue.

Today the basis of a good pantomime has a storyline of good versus evil often derived from a fairy tale or nursery story. It includes colourful costumes, dancing, topical jokes with good measures of slapstick comedy, special effects and, of course, lots of audience participation.

Audience participation is important as it offers the chance for children to interact with the cast and the rest of the audience who are encouraged to boo the baddie, argue with the Dame and warn the Principal Boy the villain is near them by shouting out “He’s behind you!”

From daylight into darkness through the entrance doors, a theatre provides a sensory experience – the background music in the foyer, the smell of popcorn and pyrotechnics, the velvety feel of the theatre seats, the excitement building up to the curtain rise, flashing lights, glittery scenery and a tasty ice cream during the interval.

It’s a chance for children to see scenes brought to life with magical characters, fairies, heroes, heroines, eccentric costumes and to see things they would normally only read about in books or see in films.

Studies have proven that people who visit theatres as children are more likely to book theatre tickets throughout their adult lives broadening their cultural outlook.

In theatre and drama classes, pantomime can help develop nonverbal communication, concentration and the ability to put action and thought together. Pantomime can be incorporated in most lesson plans to encourage the students to engage in some fun and learn at the same time.

The theatre is a powerful space and can have a massive impact on a younger audience. Some children are completely overwhelmed by it all but others become curious and want answers to lots of questions: “How can I get up there to sing and dance?” “How do those lights work?” “Where does the sound come from?” “How did the baddie just ‘disappear’ off stage?”

A visit to the theatre can often spark an interest which leads to a hobby or even a pathway to a career. Drama generally builds confidence and helps concentration, develops language, communication skills, coordination and emotional intelligence helping children to understand the world around them.

With theatres being closed for such a long time during the COVID pandemic, it made many of us realise how much we missed it when it was swiped from our day-to-day lives.

Matthew Effemey, Venue and Operations Manager at The Capitol, Horsham where Cinderella will run from 8-31 December said “It’s a great responsibility to introduce the joy of pantomime to a younger audience at an impressionable age, so a good theatre must ensure that the overall experience is one to remember.”

Cinderella will run from 8th -31st December at The Capitol, Horsham www.thecapitolhorsham.com

Jul 10

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Why parenting with anxiety makes you a ‘super-parent’

By Iain Boyle children's health, family, Mental health, Relationships, Uncategorized

by Abby Dunn
Psychologist at the University of Sussex

The last couple of years have been tough for everyone. The Covid pandemic has left many adults and children feeling uncertain, stressed and anxious at times. Several pieces of research have highlighted the heavy burden this period has put on parents of young children. If you are a parent or carer you may have found things overwhelming at times. You are not alone in those feelings. Almost every mum and dad across the country will have done so at some point.

At the Parenting with Anxiety Team we specialise in supporting families. We hope that the following will provide some useful information and reassurance. But also remember that you are the expert on your family.

Parents with anxiety are ‘super-parents’
From our work with parents we know that almost all of them go to massive efforts to do what is best for their children and that they are doing this while managing their own anxiety. Think of Ginger Rogers doing everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards in high heels. It is not easy!

We know that all parents can think they are not doing a good enough job, so it was great to hear a mother we work with describe anxious parents as ‘super-parents’. And they are! Super at managing their anxiety at the same time as juggling the demands of parenthood. If you are in this situation, take a moment to recognise that you are super too.

You are just one part of what makes your child who they are
If you find yourself experiencing anxiety, you may worry about the impact it has on your children. You may notice that they express some anxious feelings of their own. If that is the case remember that a huge number of different factors contribute to making your child the amazing individual he or she is. It is not all down to you. It is also worth remembering that when your child is anxious your understanding of your own anxiety can give you special insight into what they are going through.

Your child’s anxieties are not your own
When you feel anxious, your child’s worries can be overwhelming. It can be useful to remember that all children worry at times and it is perfectly normal. Sometimes you might be tempted to step in and fix things for them, so they don’t have the same experiences you did.

School experiences can be a point when we transplant the feelings we have about our experiences onto our children. But their experiences are different and the things which worry us may not affect them in the same way. Similarly, when your child is worried about something you do not have to share those feelings. If you can step back a little from their worries you will be better able to help them cope with them. This is not always easy and don’t beat yourself up if you do find yourself sharing their fears.

If you are worried, encourage your child to talk, and listen
Just by noticing that something is going on for your child you have already shown real sensitivity. The next thing to do is support them to share what they are feeling. You do not necessarily have to solve things – you might not be able to and that is OK. If worries are coming up at bedtime focus on soothing them and try and have a gentle conversation about it at another time. Sometimes it can help to have a chat while you are both more relaxed, for example in the car, while playing or walking back from the shops.

To find out more about the project at the University of Sussex please visit www.parentingwithanxiety.org.uk

Jul 05

Love0

Why sleep is important – and what happens when you don’t get enough?

By Iain Boyle family, sleep

by Dr Audrey Tang
www.draudreyt.com

How many hours sleep do you actually need to function at your best? While research would suggest that on average adults need around seven to nine hours, in fact individuals need to find out what works best for them. We know that children need more sleep, as we age we need less, some people function very well on different patterns such as ‘biphasic sleep’ sleeping in two short periods and then napping in the day. ‘Power napping’ for some is also beneficial.

When it comes to sleep, I would always say try to get the number of hours that works for you! And if that can’t be at night, try and find some nap time in the day.

A word about our circadian rhythms
On average, a person’s circadian rhythm – colloquially the ‘internal body clock’ – naturally rises and falls in energy within a 24 hour period. It responds very well to light, especially natural light. If it is dark, then our brain signals to release melatonin which makes us sleepy – hence why when a flight crosses time zones the aeroplane lights are dimmed or brightened to try and get your body as adjusted as possible to your arrival time. When there is light – especially natural light – the melatonin stops. This means that if you wake with natural daylight outside, it can be difficult to return to sleep because your internal processes are already signalling that it is time to rise. As such blackout curtains can help in the summer months.

How does the body react if we don’t get enough sleep?
Our bodies have trouble adjusting when we have not slept enough, and the complexity of life can cause us to disrupt (or ‘override’) our preferred circadian rhythm.

If we are sleep deprived this can result in:
• Irritability
• An inability to think rationally
• An inability to focus
• A lowered immune system. As such this can cause further problems in the context of work and relationships.

There has also been research on architectural students which found that when sleep deprived their written examination performance remained constant, but those that lacked sleep performed significantly less well in their presentations.

Sleep is also our body’s opportunity to repair and plays a role in regulating the production of some hormones important for health. If we do not sleep enough we produce more ghrelin – the hormone which signals hunger which can cause us to seek high carb, high sugar foods because we instinctively know they will give us energy. Enough sleep means we produce less ghrelin and more leptin (which supresses hunger).

Furthermore if we are not sleepy we have a greater capacity to make healthy choices on food and activity as we tend to be more focused, as well as be at less risk of injury when exercising or doing anything physical or manual.

BUT the body is adaptable!
We do tend to sleep for longer once we do fall asleep, after a period of deprivation – and this can be irrespective of external cues. Therefore, while the circadian rhythm is similar to a preferred internal thermostat, it can be over-ridden, but it can also be trained ie. it is possible for someone who has for many years always slept eight hours to learn to feel rested and function efficiently on six if this is established as a habit. Similarly it is possible to adjust to shift work or for parents whose sleep is disrupted with a newborn – it is possible to adapt for a certain time, and function effectively on a new sleeping pattern. Research on shift workers finds sleep can be improved by wearing sunglasses (to keep the daylight moderate) when returning home after a shift, and by having blackout curtains in the sleeping area…perhaps parents can make similar adaptations temporarily.

Our body is very adaptable, and what is ‘best’ in terms of sleep – is what is ‘best’ in terms of our need physically and contextually.

Practical tips to help with sleep
1. If possible – have a bedtime routine:
• Always have a glass of water by your bed.
• Keep a writing pad by your bed for when you wake in the middle of the night and need to remember something – write it down (try not to open your phone).
• Plan for the next day if you need to (clothes, lunch prep and so on).
• Stop drinking caffeinated drinks about six hours before bed – and instead have a camomile tea, or warm water, or even warm milk.
• Go to the toilet.
• Set your alarm.
• Come off social media/your smartphone an hour before bed – leaving an ‘out of office’ message if necessary.

2. Try some deep breathing
Simple centred breathing (breathing in for four, holding for two, and out through the mouth for six) whilst listening to nature sounds, gentle music, or even a relaxation podcast can be the final step for a restful night.

3. Will exercise – or a relaxing cool down – help?
Sometimes people find exercising at night helps (others don’t – heed your body’s response to whatever you try), and after exercising, a bath tends to be more soothing than a shower (unless it feels ‘too long’ for you).

Importantly: if you find yourself waking in the night and struggling to return to sleep:
Change context! Get up and do something (ideally not on the phone or computer) such as read a book. It’s best not to associate the bedroom with the feelings of stress that you cannot get to sleep.

Dr Audrey Tang is a chartered psychologist, wellness expert and author of The Leaders Guide to Resilience. www.draudreyt.com