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Mar 18
Love0
fussy child

How to tackle food fussiness

By Education, family, Food & Eating
by Dr Lucy Cooke, research psychologist specialising in children’s eating behaviour and expert advisor on the non-profit children’s online game Teach Your Monster: Adventurous Eating

Getting children to eat healthily is, for many families, a daily struggle. Parents can end up cooking the same meals over and over again because their children won’t try anything new. Any attempt to serve an unfamiliar food may be met with a flat refusal and mealtimes can become a battle of wills which is stressful for everyone.

Many parents believe that everyone else’s children are eating five fruit and vegetables a day, but research tells us otherwise. In fact, less than 20% of young children meet these guidelines. Fussy or picky eating is incredibly common among young children, especially with regard to new or unfamiliar foods, and fruits and vegetables are the most likely to be rejected. Familiarity is a key driver of food intake, so the key is to make the foods we want children to eat more familiar.

One of the challenges here is that the increased consumption of ultra-processed and processed foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt, has altered our interactions with food. As a result, some children may not even recognise ‘every day’ fruit and vegetables in their natural state.

Implementing sustainable changes can make an enormous difference to children and their families, but in practice it’s very difficult to get children to eat five fruit and vegetables a day. However, parents play a key role in increasing their child’s knowledge, awareness, and willingness to try new foods, and there are many easy-to-implement techniques and strategies that can help.

Engage your child in food preparation activities – from helping picking vegetables at the supermarket, and choosing which ones to have for dinner, to weighing, peeling, and even serving.

Eat meals together with your child whenever possible because the more a child sees parents eat and enjoy fruits and vegetables, the more likely they are to follow suit. However, avoid showing it if you don’t like fruit and vegetables as this dislike can be contagious! Try to instil calm at meal times and avoid developing a sense of expectation as that creates a stressful environment for everyone involved.

Focus on the delicious taste of fruits and vegetables rather than their healthiness. To a child, healthy food often means ‘yucky’ food so telling your child how much you enjoy fruit and vegetables is more important than saying they need it to grow fit and strong.

Persevere in the face of refusal. Offer only very small quantities of new foods at first and repeat daily for up to 10 days. Research shows this can change dislike to like.

A multi-sensory approach
If a child eats a limited range of foods and won’t even try the smallest amount of new foods, using a sensory approach to exploring foods can help lay the foundations for children to develop a better, healthier relationship with food.

Essentially, get more creative and fun with food, turn it into a game, and take it beyond the dinner table. Using all five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste is an effective way to make new food less intimidating and more familiar. Keep in mind, it’s not necessarily about eating but experiencing each one in different ways, such as:
• Look at different varieties of tomatoes and get your child to talk about the different colours, patterns, or shapes, and the difference in appearance between the inside and outside.
• Listen to the distinctive sounds created when preparing carrots using several methods such as grating, chopping, or simply biting and chewing a raw carrot.
• Touch a fruit such as an orange and feel the contrasting textures between the bumpy rind, the spongy pith, and the juicy fruit itself.
• Smell something with a strong odour such as a lemon and compare with something with little or no smell like a potato. Ask your child to describe the different smells.
• Taste a small selection of green fruit and vegetables, for instance, grapes, kiwis, cucumber, or broccoli. Cut into very small pieces and talk about whether they are sweet, or bitter, and which taste they prefer and why.

There are many such activities that parents and children can undertake together outside of meal times. For free resources try the charity TastEd (www.tasteeducation.com) which has a range of activities and videos for parents around how to use the five senses to explore food, while non-profit Teach Your Monster (www.teachyourmonster.org) has a free online game, Teach Your Monster: Adventurous Eating, which encourages children to explore food in a fun, exciting way.

Children can discover and experiment with food using all five senses, and importantly, this approach can be tailored for children of all abilities and ages. Multi-sensory interaction with food is a good way to start to tackle food fussiness, awakening curiosity, and excitement around food, and helping to inspire a generation of adventurous eaters.

Dr Lucy Cooke, psychologist specialising in children’s eating behaviour and expert advisor to Teach Your Monster: Adventurous Eating, (www.teachyourmonster,org) and to TastEd (www.tasteducation.com)
Mar 16
Love0
Mother power

How to care less about what people think of you and your parenting

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Relationships
by Poppy O’Neill
best-selling author of mental health books
for children, teens and adults

We butt up against other people’s emotions every day, in real life and online. People tend to feel a lot more comfortable sharing their emotions and opinions with women, and once you have children in tow, some take it as an open invitation to provide feedback on everything from your appearance to your children’s behaviour.

Having other people’s emotions put upon you can make you feel like they are then your problem to solve, which can cause a lot of anxiety.

Gender stereotypes and other people’s emotions
From very early on girls’ emotions are treated as less important than boys. A study carried out by Sussex University showed that adults respond to babies’ cries differently depending on their sex, with greater sympathy shown to boys.

Gender stereotyping is the cause of many of the ways women are on the back foot socially, psychologically and economically. One of the most common ways gender stereotypes manifest psychologically and emotionally in women is often known as ‘people-pleasing’.

If you’re a people-pleaser, the prospect of conflict, being disliked or even disagreement can feel uncomfortable and sometimes even threatening. For people-pleasers, it seems like a better option just to go along with what other people think and want, even at the expense of their own needs. This disconnects us from what we truly think and want – we lose touch with ourselves by focusing on other people.

The first step to unlearning people-pleasing is to recognise it within yourself.

If you:
• Apologise often
• Struggle to say no
• Don’t admit when your feelings are hurt
• Often assume people are angry or disappointed with you

…you have people-pleasing tendencies. Once you can recognise people-pleasing in yourself, you have the power to take control. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the hard work. The secret is to learn to pause, name the feeling and breathe through the discomfort.

Other people’s emotions are nothing to do with you
The belief that we are responsible for the actions or emotions of other people is common among women. We’re brought up to be nice and to put others’ feelings ahead of our own. Becoming a mother can reinforce this because our children’s emotions are, to a certain extent, tied to our own. As we’re solely responsible for these tiny human beings for such a big proportion of the time, our own wellbeing feels like it’s dependent on keeping them calm and happy.

The key to letting go of the idea that other people’s emotions are our responsibility is to build a sense of trust. When you trust other adults to handle their own emotions and look after themselves, you can let go of some of that guilt that comes when you cancel plans, break bad news or give criticism.

What’s more, when you hurt your own feelings in order to save someone else’s, that’s not actually you being kind – it’s you trying to avoid your own discomfort. Many of us would much rather inconvenience ourselves than someone else, because the latter brings up complex feelings of guilt and shame that come from defying the stereotype of the selfless woman.

When you trust someone to deal with life like a grown-up, you’re showing them – and yourself – respect.

What you can and can’t control
Other people’s emotions are not within your control. Thank goodness they’re not, because it would be exhausting if they were! Focusing on what you can control, rather than what you can’t, can lead to better mental health and higher self-esteem.

Psychologists call the sense of how much power we have over our own lives a ‘locus of control’. Everyone has a locus of control that falls somewhere on a spectrum between internal and external.

Internal locus of control: The belief that you have some power over the events in your life and the choices you make.

External locus of control: The belief that events in your life and your responses to them are controlled exclusively by other people.

Of course, some things truly are out of our control, but the more we focus our attention on what we have the ability to change, the greater our sense of power, responsibility and safety in the world. For example, if it rains on your birthday you can’t stop the weather, but you can dress in waterproofs or stay inside. Those who focus on the weather will feel worse than those who focus on how they’ll adapt to the less-than-perfect conditions.

When you’re feeling stressed out by other people, it can help to remind yourself of what you can and can’t control.

What I can control
My responses
My actions
My boundaries
How I take care of my emotions.

What I can’t control
Other people’s emotions
Other people’s thoughts
Other people’s actions
Other people’s boundaries.

It’s natural to care about what other people think of us and how they feel, but putting other people’s feelings above our own is a recipe for resentment and burnout. Remember – you don’t need to make sense to others, and you can trust other adults to be responsible for their own emotions.

Mother Power by Poppy O’Neill is an honest and empowering guide to parenting for all mothers. Know and grow your power as a mother with this honest, guilt-free parenting guide that champions your own needs and wellbeing as well as those of your children. Available now in all good bookstores priced at £10.99.
Mar 14
Love0
eco guilt

How to deal with eco-guilt

By environment, family, Green

In a world where we see climate change problems every day, it can be easy to develop some eco-guilt for your lifestyle. With 75% of adults in Great Britain worrying about climate change, we can wonder what we can do to change our habits and contribute to a better environment both for us and our children.

Eco-guilt comes from our ability to do something good for the environment, but the conscious decision not to. Whether this is due to convenience, such as purchasing new plastic bags, or necessity sometimes. However, there are ways that your eco-guilt can be reduced.

Guilt is a natural feeling and one that we all experience at some point or other. However, you don’t have to feel this way. Here, we will explore some ways you can cope with your eco-guilt.

Understand your carbon
One way to start feeling better about your eco-guilt is to understand your carbon better. Calculating your carbon footprint can help highlight how much you are producing, or saving from being produced, through your daily life.

This might show you a higher figure than you anticipated, giving you a push in the right direction to reducing your carbon and where to target – such as your commuting distance, if possible. Or it might show you a lower unit than expected and can help ease some of the eco-guilt you have been harbouring. If you don’t know how to figure out your carbon usage, then you can calculate it with the WWF Footprint Calculator.

Build a sustainable routine
Another way to reduce eco-guilt is to establish a sustainable routine. This way, you are continually having a positive effect on the environment, as opposed to if you did not make any changes. Rather than being disheartened by your eco-friendly ways, make sure to maintain a routine with them. Lifestyle changes, such as using a reusable travel coffee cup rather than plastic ones, can mean you are positively impacting the environment and your community without causing extra problems for yourself.

This will also teach your children to be more eco-friendly in their lives – grab those children’s wellies and start harvesting your own allotment – promoting sustainability and resourcefulness in your children while keeping your eco-guilt at bay. By making this a routine, rather than a concerted one-off effort, you will regularly impact your carbon footprint as well as find that, over time, the practice of being sustainable will become an unconscious, long-term habit.

Don’t compare
As with any part of life, you shouldn’t compare your journey to others. While it can be difficult to ignore the sustainability measures of many, and there is a lot of pressure to be sustainable, you should do so at your own pace. Don’t allow the eco-guilt to diminish the work you have done so far. As with all lifestyle changes, little movements can create big changes – especially if you have children. The small efforts you are making towards being more sustainable can mean they are learning life-changing habits for their futures.

Ongoing and anticipated climate change problems have been known to cause eco-paralysis, but it is important that rather than judging your achievements against others, you focus on what good you do. Avoiding eco-paralysis can involve maintaining a routine and avoiding comparing the efforts of others to yourself. Rather than it appearing as a competition, making positive changes towards the climate should be seen as a collaboration. As such, you should focus on progression rather than perfection.

Some 63% of people surveyed said they have negative feelings towards the future as a result of climate change. It isn’t easy maintaining a sustainable lifestyle, and with pressure from climate change activists, social media, and even your community, you can find yourself struggling to stay motivated. However, eco-guilt shouldn’t be the end of your climate change journey. Focus on you and your family, the small changes you can make, and believe that they are contributing.

For further information please visit www.muddypuddles.com

Mar 14
Love0
loving hands

Your guide to overcoming separation anxiety: Leaving your baby for the first time

By baby health, Childcare and Nannying, family, Relationships

Baby separation anxiety is a real struggle for many parents. When the moment comes to leave your baby for the first time, your parental instinct kicks in. “Would my baby be safe?”, “What if something happens, and I’m not there?”, “Is my baby sad right now?” are only some of the questions that start spiralling in your head when you close the door and leave your baby behind, even if it’s just for one hour.

Although your baby is in safe hands, you can’t help but feel like your heart is breaking into tiny pieces, because you don’t know what’s happening with your baby every minute. Nevertheless, leaving your baby for the first time and getting over the separation anxiety is beneficial for both you and your baby. Baby brand, Nuby, explores how to cope with separation anxiety and make sure that your baby is safe and happy.

The earlier you overcome it, the better
Separation anxiety is normal and usually affects young children between the ages of six months and three years. It usually fades after that, but if the symptoms persist, it can have a long-term impact on your child.

The earlier you start practising leaving them, the easier it will be for them to get used to it and overcome any potential separation anxiety.

As a parent, you also might be suffering from some form of separation anxiety, so it’s important to take the right steps to leaving your baby for the first time.

Do it gradually
You don’t have to jet off on holiday the first time you leave your baby – this will cause turmoil to both of you.

Instead, practise being separate gradually. At first, you might dedicate a two-hour slot where you leave them in your house with their grandparents. It’s advisable that the first times you leave them, it’s with someone they know and in a familiar setting to ease the shock of separation. Later, you can start trusting a nanny or a childminder to take care of your baby while you’re away.

After the first trial, you can slowly start extending the time you’re away from them and even leave them at their grandparents’ and nanny’s house for a night or two. The more often you do it, the easier it will get.

Don’t hold onto the guilt
It’s normal to feel guilty when you first leave your baby. But just like in many other life situations, guilt is not a healthy feeling to experience. Even though it’s totally valid, try not to fall into the trap of self-agonising over the fact that you’ve left your child in the hands of someone else.

It’s something that you need to overcome, as it will help develop a healthy relationship between the two of you and not a co-dependent one. You’re teaching your baby to trust you but not rely on you for everything. Retrospectively, you’re learning that your child is its own person and will eventually grow and separate from you for much longer than an hour-long coffee break. So, the earlier you start the process, the better.

Give clear instructions
Babies have their own individual routines. Whether they like to have a snack right before bed to help them nod off or be read their favourite bedtime story, this is what they’re used to.

Your babysitter’s approach might not match that, so it’s important to communicate your baby’s precise routine with them. This will help your baby to settle and will ensure that there is no additional unfamiliarity and stress.

Pack a comforter
Before you leave, pack a bag of newborn essentials that will be at hand for your babysitter, and make sure to include a comforter.

While their main source of comfort, you, might be away, your babysitter can resort to their physical comforts. Perhaps your baby has a specific toy they like to cuddle or play with, or, for a newborn, they love being tucked in their cosy sleeping bag.

Prepare these items in advance, so that your baby can feel secure in an unfamiliar situation if needed.

Don’t sneak away
Easing your baby into the temporary separation is crucial. This applies to the moment your babysitter arrives and the moment you leave the house.

Dedicate some time to help your baby get used to their babysitter, whether that’s a childminder, a nanny or their grandparents, while you’re still there.

When you’re leaving, don’t just sneak away. Rather, kiss your baby and say a happy goodbye, after which your babysitter will immediately engage their attention and hopefully stop them from crying.

It’s also advisable that your babysitter picks up the baby right away, so that they feel secure in their hands and build a positive relationship.

Leaving your baby for the first time can be frightening, but it’s an essential part of the growing up process. Practising healthy separation from early on will ensure your child becomes its own individual and is able to be on its own.

For further information please see www.nuby-uk.com
Mar 10
Love0

Youngsters could be missing out on a stash of cash

By family, Finance

Tens of thousands of teenagers in the UK who have not yet claimed their matured Child Trust Funds savings could have thousands of pounds waiting for them, reminds HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC).

Child Trust Funds are long-term savings accounts set up for every child born between 1 September 2002 and 2 January 2011. To encourage future saving and start the account, the government provided an initial deposit of at least £250.

The savings accounts mature when the child turns 18 years old. Eligible teenagers, who are aged 18 or over and have yet to access their Child Trust Fund account, could have savings waiting for them worth an average of £2,100.

If teenagers or their parents and guardians already know who their Child Trust Fund provider is, they can contact them directly. This might be a bank, building society or other savings provider.

Alternatively, they can visit GOV.UK and complete an online form to find out where their Child Trust Fund is held.

Many eligible teenagers who have yet to claim their savings might be starting university, apprenticeships or their first job. The lump-sum amount could offer a financial boost at a time when they need it most.

Angela MacDonald, HMRC’s Second Permanent Secretary and Deputy Chief Executive, said: “Teenagers could have a pot of money waiting for them worth thousands of pounds and not even realise it. We want to help you access your savings and the money you’re entitled to. To find out more search ‘Child Trust Fund’ on GOV.UK.”

An estimated 6.3 million Child Trust Fund accounts were set up throughout the duration of the scheme, containing about £9 billion. If a parent or guardian was not able to set up an account for their child, HMRC automatically opened a savings account on the child’s behalf.

Teenagers aged 16 or over can take control of their own Child Trust Fund if they wish, although the funds can only be withdrawn once they turn 18 years old.

Where children have a Child Trust Fund, families can still pay in up to £9,000 a year tax-free. The account matures once the child turns 18 and no further money can be deposited. They can either withdraw the funds from the matured Child Trust Fund account or reinvest it into another savings account.

Until a withdrawal or transfer the money stays in an account that no-one else has access to.

The Child Trust Fund scheme closed in January 2011 and was replaced with Junior Individual Savings Accounts (ISA).

To find out more visit www.gov.uk

Mar 03
Love0
happy schoolgirls

How to get your child to tell you about their day

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Pre-Prep & Prep School Teachers at Burgess Hill Girls

How was your day darling? Did anything good happen? Who did you play with? What lessons did you have? What did you learn? If you are a parent of a school age child, it is likely you have fired these questions at your child immediately after they get out of school. It is also more than likely that the response was simply; “good,” “yep” or “OK”, or just complete silence as your questions are ignored in favour of the TV, tablet, toys, or a combination of all three!

So, what is the secret? How can you get them to tell you more about their day? Here are some of the strategies we suggest you try.

Give them time
If you think about how you feel after a day of work, you probably want nothing more than to get home and zone out for half an hour or so. Children are the same. You can talk about something else other than their school day or just let them initiate the conversation if they want to. Otherwise give them some space and time to reset and unwind.

Model talking about your day
After some down time, when you think there is a good opportunity for conversation you can initiate discussions by modelling what happened in your day and how you feel about it. They may choose to follow your example and share something about their day. But try not to push it. They may decide to share tomorrow instead.

Vary the focus and frequency
You might be concerned about a particular aspect of your child’s interaction at school. For example, what they are learning or whether they are playing regularly with others. Often this concern will reflect in the questions you ask. To avoid your child clamming up ensure your questions are varied, especially if it is an area that they might not be comfortable talking about. Try to have days when you do not ask any questions at all. Maybe they will choose to volunteer information on their own. If they do, try to keep the conversation going with open versus closed questions.

Give them confidence
You leave the most precious thing you have at the school gate, and it requires you to openly trust those who care for your child. If you over focus on elements of the day or over question, the child might pick up on your apprehension which in turn might lead them to worry that something is wrong at school.

Try the positive sandwich method
The sandwich feedback method offers positive feedback before and after negative feedback. When engaging your child in conversation about their day, ask them to share something positive. Then ask them if anything worried them about their day. Ask them who they shared their worry with. If they did not share at school, model how they might share with their teacher in the morning and reassure them you have every confidence in their teacher to help them resolve their worry. Finally, finish off with another positive. This approach will help your child to feel confident that school is a safe place and that you trust the adults who work in it.

While we are talking about food, you might want to try making them their favourite snack or drink and sit down to enjoy it with them. As they happily munch or slurp, they might feel more in the mood to chat and share.

Focus on them
Remind your child you are interested in what they did at school not what others may have done or not done. This will avoid them becoming hypervigilant of others and help them to recognise their own gifts and talents.

Make links to their timetable
It is possible you know that they have a particular subject or activity on a specific day so you can make the discussion more focused and relevant by linking to that topic and open the conversation from there.

Be tactical with bedtime
In our experience, bedtime is often the time when children want to talk. They are clever little things, anything to delay bedtime! But you can exploit this opportunity by making bedtime a little earlier, so you allow time to chat if the situation arises. If it is an area of worry for them, they are also likely to sleep better once they have got it off their chest so try not to worry if they go a little bit over! But do not forget the positive sandwich method.

Not sharing can be a good thing!
Children will take the lead from your questions and will respond accordingly. If your questions are probing and you focus on the negative, your child might learn this is your area of interest and so will give you more of the same. Some parts of a day may not always go as your child would wish them to, but it is exceedingly rare for a child to have a totally miserable time. Try to bear in mind that happy children often do not share much about their day and that is OK.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com
Feb 21
Love0
forest school education

Childhood development and the benefits of Forest Schools

By Education, environment, family, Family Farms, Forest School, fun for children, Gardening, Green

Forest Schools are an exciting opportunity for children to learn with their hands. The sessions, which are non-academic and led by a qualified instructor, encourage outdoor education in a controlled setting. This can come in a range of forms, from group treasure hunts to woodland building exercises.

These schools encourage children to ditch the computer screen and spend more time outdoors – and considering children aged five to seven years old spend an average of four hours behind a screen every day, the need for outdoor education has never been clearer.

In fact, Forest Schools are actually becoming an increasingly popular choice for parents across the UK. According to a survey of 200 establishments by the Forest School Association (FSA), two-thirds have seen a rise in requests for places since March 2020.

Here, we will explore four skills that children develop when attending Forest Schools. If you’re a parent searching for ways to stimulate your child’s development, these schools may be the solution for you and your family.

Social and communication skills
Forest Schools are a great way for children to socialise with their peers. Whether they’re jumping in muddy puddles or foraging for wild berries, children are able to work within a team and complete their tasks. In fact, research from Plymouth University found that 93% of Forest Schools believed children developed their social skills whilst enrolled.

Moreover, Forest Schools are an opportunity to meet new children. The average number of pupils in Reception and KS1 classrooms is 26.6, according to GOV UK. Forest Schools introduce a new selection of children who may be from different backgrounds or be of different ages. This better prepares children for meeting more diverse groups of people in later life.

Confidence and independence
If your child exhibits any signs of social anxiety, it may be harder for them to take part. However, participating in Forest Schools can actually boost confidence. This is a slow process that will progress over time, and it is different for each child.

A sense of independence is particularly important for children. As well as building the social skills to work well within a team, Forest Schools offer children the chance to complete tasks by themselves. This includes a range of activities, such as charting the species of plants or flowers they find in a specific outdoor area.

Motor and cognitive abilities
More often than not, traditional schools focus on academic education. There are physical education (or PE) lessons, but these do not make up the bulk of the day. Instead, children practise their literacy and numeracy skills within the confines of a classroom.

In comparison, Forest Schools allow children to stay active. Not only is this regular exercise important for bone and muscle strength, but it is also instrumental in developing childhood motor skills. It doesn’t matter if the sun is shining or rain clouds are looming, children are able to boot up in wellies and let the outdoor learning commence.

Physical activity could also improve cognitive function in children. These include the ability to recall information and flexible thinking. This is beneficial for many areas of life, including excelling in traditional schools.

A sustainable mindset
Sustainability is at the forefront of society. As the nation strives to achieve net-zero, teaching children about the environment has never been more important. After all, they are the future minds of tomorrow, and we should continue to educate them as best as we can.

Forest Schools may be the answer. During these lessons, children develop a sustainable mindset. This is a lot more likely than a child who spends most of their time inside, whether this is at home or in a classroom.

These are four skills children can attain after attending Forest Schools. In addition to the many benefits, this is a time for children to have fun. If they learn something along the way – from the importance of ecology, to the ability to work well in a team – that is a welcomed bonus. When will you enrol your child in Forest Schools?

Article supplied by www.muddypuddles.com

Sources: www.positive.news – www.ecoactive.org.uk – www.explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk – www.highspeedtraining.co.uk – www.ntu.ac.uk www.rubicon.com

 

Feb 15
Love0
birth advice

Do I need an antenatal class?

By Education, family, Health, prenancy, Relationships

by Jackie Whitford
www.birth-wise.co.uk

“I’m pregnant with my first baby and all is going well. My sister has just had a baby and has told me all about it and given me the books she found useful. I think I have all the information and support I need.” I’ve heard this sort of viewpoint expressed ever since I started holding antenatal classes (over 40 years ago) but now followed by… “And of course I can get any other information from the internet!” So why indeed would you need an antenatal class?

Firstly, you will meet a group of women and their partners who are at the same stage in their lives and chances are you will meet your new friendship and support group. My own antenatal class pals are still great friends, meeting up regularly some four decades later!

Early parenthood is a time of big changes and transitions (like starting school or leaving home) and it is great to meet others on the same journey sharing all its excitement and uncertainty. My antenatal classes usually form their own WhatsApp groups – it’s good to chat to someone else who is in exactly the same boat when you are doing a feed at three o’clock in the morning!

Secondly, regardless of what worked (or didn’t) for your sister/friend/mum, labour and birth are as individual as you are. What was OK for them, may well not be for you. A good class will set out your choices. It should give you knowledge, skills and confidence as to where you have your baby and the options available to you. Through looking at the latest research and discussing with others, you can choose what feels right for you – whether it’s an elective caesarean or a hypnobirth.

A good antenatal class should also prepare you for Plan B – what if your labour doesn’t go as you had hoped? In a recent class, one of the women had planned and booked in for an elective caesarean. She was attending classes to make local friends and wasn’t really engaged with discussions about physiological labour. However, her baby decided to make an early and rapid entry into the world. She said, “Although I was shocked, it’s not what I had planned, I knew what to do. Somewhere I could hear you saying breathe out, relax, you can do this.” Labour and birth can be unpredictable and you need to be knowledgeable and confident to cope with all possible variations.

Which class?
I would recommend choosing a class that runs once a week over five or more weeks ideally to start from week 30 or 32 of your pregnancy. This gives you a chance to really get to know others in your group and a chance to practice the many comfort techniques introduced plus plenty of time for questions. Ideally your class will be run by someone with a breadth of experience both personally and professionally and be committed to supporting you in the birth experience that you want.

“I think attending a good antenatal class will prove to be one of your best decisions, with the benefits of ongoing support and friendship.”

Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield. For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk

Feb 14
Love0
boy on a bike

Cycling is ‘jogging’ for your child’s brain!

By children's health, Christmas, Education, family, fun for children, Toys

by Russell James
Glide Balance Bike Classes

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that are the most rewarding. Learning to ride a bike without stabilisers is one of them. Once your child has a bike, cycling is a fun and free activity that they can enjoy with friends and family for life.

It’s easier to learn to cycle when you’re young and it’s a life skill that your child will have forever.

Encouraging your child to ride a bike while they’re young helps to establish healthy exercise habits that are likely to stay with them for life.

Bike riding is a skill that comes with a whole range of benefits. While most of us know that regular cycling contributes to better physical health, there are plenty of other reasons why learning to ride a bike is more important than ever. Here are just a handful of them.

Bike riding is a great way to get your children excited about outdoor exercise from an early age.

Getting outdoors is wonderful for children. They get natural sunlight, which gives them vitamin D, and they get a lot of fresh air, which allows them to get a good sleep at night. The better sleep they get, the healthier they are and the more their body will be able to grow.

Physical activities like cycling have a positive effect on your children’s brain. There’s a very simple reason for this: during physical activity, your child’s whole body, including the brain, is supplied with more oxygen-rich blood and nutrients. This enhances your child’s ability to concentrate and think creatively.

Cycling plays an important role in the overall growth of your child. Riding a bike not only improves physical fitness, it also benefits your child’s learning development and mental health, allowing them to grow mentally and emotionally, gaining strength in their decision making ability. Research shows that students who ride a bike to school are more focused and ready to learn, compared with those who are driven to school by car.

Taking part in regirl unsteady on bikegular physical activity also has links to increased happiness, as well as giving children more opportunities to make friends and social connections.

Cycling is an activity that all ages can enjoy. Mums, dads, children and even grandparents can take part in a family bike ride. It’s a great way to share some quality time, and it’s good for you too. Remember, the key to family bike rides is to have fun. So start slowly and take plenty of breaks to give little riders time to rest.

Teaching your child to ride a bike has long-term benefits for the environment. Using active transport like cycling instead of driving reduces carbon emissions, eases traffic congestion and eliminates parking problems. Less pollution and less traffic means our communities will become greener, healthier and less stressful places to live.

Bikes could be described as the perfect vehicle for transport. Once your child gets older, riding a bike becomes a quick and healthy way for them to get to and from school, sporting and play activities. Even better, it saves you time because your child won’t have to rely on you for lifts – now that’s a benefit every parent can relate to!

Jump on a bike and cycle with your children and you could see the kind of health benefits gym members dream of. Cycling raises your metabolic rate, helping you to keep the weight off. Regular cyclists are as fit as an average person 10 years younger. Cycling firms the thighs and bottom, and can even help tone the tummy muscles.

According to a recent survey a third of primary school children have not learnt to ride a bike. Glide wants to change this. Glide, teaches children from two to four years old to ride their balance bikes confidently in a group environment on a weekly basis during term-time. Glide then teaches primary school children to ride their bikes without stabilisers in two hour sessions during term-time (five children max) and three hour sessions (10 children max) during the school holidays. Lets make Britain stabiliser free!

www.glidebalancebikeclasses.com

Feb 14
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happy parenting

Parenting hacks no one tells you

By Childcare and Nannying, family, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships

by Richard Templar
author of ‘The Rules of…’ series.

Being a parent is always going to be tricky at times, and while there’s no magic wand to make it run smoothly all the time, there are strategies that will help make it easier and more enjoyable. I’m not talking about tips and hints for potty training or getting them to sleep, useful as some of those can be. I’m talking about mindsets that will help frame your attitude to the whole parenting thing, in ways that make your life – and the kids’ lives – easier.

Do not be afraid of a bit of boredom
There can be pressure nowadays to run your kids around to countless after-school and weekend activities – football, swimming, drama, martial arts, dance, music classes and sessions. It keeps them busy, and boy does it keep you busy. However, the best thing for kids to do with their free time is nothing at all. That’s because it frees up their imagination and encourages real creativity. It’s actually better for the kids to run around together with sticks making up games, or look under stones in the park for insects, than to be organised by someone else. Being bored is the best stimulus the imagination can have, and most kids – especially if you can get them together with siblings or other kids – won’t stay bored for long. Our kids are going to grow up into a world where creativity and imagination are hugely valued, yet they risk having had less chance to cultivate it than previous generations. So give them a head start by incorporating loads of empty time into their week. That’s not to say all extra-curricular activities are a bad thing – they can be great – but while your kids are young a couple of sessions a week is plenty, and it’s healthier for them to fill the rest of their time themselves, while you settle down with a cuppa.

Sibling squabbling is healthy
I mentioned siblings back there, and if you have more than one child you’ll probably have experienced your share of sibling squabbles. So know this: squabbling is really healthy. It’s better than not squabbling. Yes I know it doesn’t always feel that way, and sometimes less is more, but next time you hear the kids bickering or fighting, smile and tell yourself it’s a good thing. Why? Because until you squabble, you can’t learn how to resolve an argument. Your kids are learning how far they can push someone, what helps get the other person on their side, how to control their anger, what works and what doesn’t – and all with someone who can’t just walk off and say “I’m not your friend any more.” Most of the world’s best diplomats grew up with siblings. So appreciate the squabbles despite everything and, above all, don’t impose solutions on them – make them find their own. You know the sort of thing: “I’m taking it away until you both/all come and tell me how you’re going to play with it without arguing.”

Lead by example
A good friend once asked me, “How do I get my kids to understand do what I say, not what I do?” The answer is very simple: you can’t. You have to set the example and if you can’t do it, why would you expect a child to be able to? Especially when the person they most love and respect isn’t doing it. So, if your child forgets their pleases and thank yous, or is always interrupting, or shouts at you a lot, it’s worth checking your own behaviour. I’m not saying it’s always down to you – lots of kids go through these phases without any help – but if your record isn’t a hundred percent, you’ll improve their behaviour much faster if you can change your own. And it’s surprising how many parents give their kids instructions without a please, or forget to say thank you to them. It’s understandable in the hustle and bustle of parenting, but you’re making your own job harder than it needs to be.

Healthy parenting – not perfect parentingrules of everything
And finally, always remember that you shouldn’t even try to be perfect. Can you imagine what a burden it would put on kids to have perfect parents? Parents who were always right, who gave you nothing to kick against? Who couldn’t model how to apologise for mistakes because they never made them – or how to make up after an argument because they never argued? A perfect parent gives their child no clue how to be human, how to be flawed and imperfect but accept themselves as they are. If you can be a bit forgetful, or short-tempered, or neurotic, brilliant! That’s just what your kids need to see – that normal healthy adults can function perfectly well, and have great relationships, without having to be entirely prefect in every way. So next time you think you’ve messed up, don’t berate yourself. Just think, “Phew! I’ve dodged being perfect!”

Richard Templar is the author of the global best-selling ‘The Rules of…’ series. The Rules of Everything is published by Pearson, priced at £12.99, and is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

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