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health for youngsters, babies and adults

Mar 14
Love0
loving hands

Your guide to overcoming separation anxiety: Leaving your baby for the first time

By baby health, Childcare and Nannying, family, Relationships

Baby separation anxiety is a real struggle for many parents. When the moment comes to leave your baby for the first time, your parental instinct kicks in. “Would my baby be safe?”, “What if something happens, and I’m not there?”, “Is my baby sad right now?” are only some of the questions that start spiralling in your head when you close the door and leave your baby behind, even if it’s just for one hour.

Although your baby is in safe hands, you can’t help but feel like your heart is breaking into tiny pieces, because you don’t know what’s happening with your baby every minute. Nevertheless, leaving your baby for the first time and getting over the separation anxiety is beneficial for both you and your baby. Baby brand, Nuby, explores how to cope with separation anxiety and make sure that your baby is safe and happy.

The earlier you overcome it, the better
Separation anxiety is normal and usually affects young children between the ages of six months and three years. It usually fades after that, but if the symptoms persist, it can have a long-term impact on your child.

The earlier you start practising leaving them, the easier it will be for them to get used to it and overcome any potential separation anxiety.

As a parent, you also might be suffering from some form of separation anxiety, so it’s important to take the right steps to leaving your baby for the first time.

Do it gradually
You don’t have to jet off on holiday the first time you leave your baby – this will cause turmoil to both of you.

Instead, practise being separate gradually. At first, you might dedicate a two-hour slot where you leave them in your house with their grandparents. It’s advisable that the first times you leave them, it’s with someone they know and in a familiar setting to ease the shock of separation. Later, you can start trusting a nanny or a childminder to take care of your baby while you’re away.

After the first trial, you can slowly start extending the time you’re away from them and even leave them at their grandparents’ and nanny’s house for a night or two. The more often you do it, the easier it will get.

Don’t hold onto the guilt
It’s normal to feel guilty when you first leave your baby. But just like in many other life situations, guilt is not a healthy feeling to experience. Even though it’s totally valid, try not to fall into the trap of self-agonising over the fact that you’ve left your child in the hands of someone else.

It’s something that you need to overcome, as it will help develop a healthy relationship between the two of you and not a co-dependent one. You’re teaching your baby to trust you but not rely on you for everything. Retrospectively, you’re learning that your child is its own person and will eventually grow and separate from you for much longer than an hour-long coffee break. So, the earlier you start the process, the better.

Give clear instructions
Babies have their own individual routines. Whether they like to have a snack right before bed to help them nod off or be read their favourite bedtime story, this is what they’re used to.

Your babysitter’s approach might not match that, so it’s important to communicate your baby’s precise routine with them. This will help your baby to settle and will ensure that there is no additional unfamiliarity and stress.

Pack a comforter
Before you leave, pack a bag of newborn essentials that will be at hand for your babysitter, and make sure to include a comforter.

While their main source of comfort, you, might be away, your babysitter can resort to their physical comforts. Perhaps your baby has a specific toy they like to cuddle or play with, or, for a newborn, they love being tucked in their cosy sleeping bag.

Prepare these items in advance, so that your baby can feel secure in an unfamiliar situation if needed.

Don’t sneak away
Easing your baby into the temporary separation is crucial. This applies to the moment your babysitter arrives and the moment you leave the house.

Dedicate some time to help your baby get used to their babysitter, whether that’s a childminder, a nanny or their grandparents, while you’re still there.

When you’re leaving, don’t just sneak away. Rather, kiss your baby and say a happy goodbye, after which your babysitter will immediately engage their attention and hopefully stop them from crying.

It’s also advisable that your babysitter picks up the baby right away, so that they feel secure in their hands and build a positive relationship.

Leaving your baby for the first time can be frightening, but it’s an essential part of the growing up process. Practising healthy separation from early on will ensure your child becomes its own individual and is able to be on its own.

For further information please see www.nuby-uk.com
Mar 03
Love0
happy schoolgirls

How to get your child to tell you about their day

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Pre-Prep & Prep School Teachers at Burgess Hill Girls

How was your day darling? Did anything good happen? Who did you play with? What lessons did you have? What did you learn? If you are a parent of a school age child, it is likely you have fired these questions at your child immediately after they get out of school. It is also more than likely that the response was simply; “good,” “yep” or “OK”, or just complete silence as your questions are ignored in favour of the TV, tablet, toys, or a combination of all three!

So, what is the secret? How can you get them to tell you more about their day? Here are some of the strategies we suggest you try.

Give them time
If you think about how you feel after a day of work, you probably want nothing more than to get home and zone out for half an hour or so. Children are the same. You can talk about something else other than their school day or just let them initiate the conversation if they want to. Otherwise give them some space and time to reset and unwind.

Model talking about your day
After some down time, when you think there is a good opportunity for conversation you can initiate discussions by modelling what happened in your day and how you feel about it. They may choose to follow your example and share something about their day. But try not to push it. They may decide to share tomorrow instead.

Vary the focus and frequency
You might be concerned about a particular aspect of your child’s interaction at school. For example, what they are learning or whether they are playing regularly with others. Often this concern will reflect in the questions you ask. To avoid your child clamming up ensure your questions are varied, especially if it is an area that they might not be comfortable talking about. Try to have days when you do not ask any questions at all. Maybe they will choose to volunteer information on their own. If they do, try to keep the conversation going with open versus closed questions.

Give them confidence
You leave the most precious thing you have at the school gate, and it requires you to openly trust those who care for your child. If you over focus on elements of the day or over question, the child might pick up on your apprehension which in turn might lead them to worry that something is wrong at school.

Try the positive sandwich method
The sandwich feedback method offers positive feedback before and after negative feedback. When engaging your child in conversation about their day, ask them to share something positive. Then ask them if anything worried them about their day. Ask them who they shared their worry with. If they did not share at school, model how they might share with their teacher in the morning and reassure them you have every confidence in their teacher to help them resolve their worry. Finally, finish off with another positive. This approach will help your child to feel confident that school is a safe place and that you trust the adults who work in it.

While we are talking about food, you might want to try making them their favourite snack or drink and sit down to enjoy it with them. As they happily munch or slurp, they might feel more in the mood to chat and share.

Focus on them
Remind your child you are interested in what they did at school not what others may have done or not done. This will avoid them becoming hypervigilant of others and help them to recognise their own gifts and talents.

Make links to their timetable
It is possible you know that they have a particular subject or activity on a specific day so you can make the discussion more focused and relevant by linking to that topic and open the conversation from there.

Be tactical with bedtime
In our experience, bedtime is often the time when children want to talk. They are clever little things, anything to delay bedtime! But you can exploit this opportunity by making bedtime a little earlier, so you allow time to chat if the situation arises. If it is an area of worry for them, they are also likely to sleep better once they have got it off their chest so try not to worry if they go a little bit over! But do not forget the positive sandwich method.

Not sharing can be a good thing!
Children will take the lead from your questions and will respond accordingly. If your questions are probing and you focus on the negative, your child might learn this is your area of interest and so will give you more of the same. Some parts of a day may not always go as your child would wish them to, but it is exceedingly rare for a child to have a totally miserable time. Try to bear in mind that happy children often do not share much about their day and that is OK.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com
Feb 21
Love0

Why do we seek to love and be loved?

By Health, Mental health, Relationships
by John D. Bieber
Author of Am I Loved? The Most Asked Question Of All Time

Aspirations of love and of being loved are the constant waking schemes and sleeping dreams of all humankind. Indeed, acting like a barometer for our mental health, the satisfaction or otherwise of our need to be loved is paramount for our wellbeing. Exploring the undeniable fact that as the world’s only emotional beings, it is truly astonishing that we function through emotions that we do not remotely understand or control. Our emotions exist not to benefit us but to safeguard our genes, protecting the life within us. We spend our lives intent on surviving when fulfilment comes from loving and being loved. Nature’s protections serve to liberate us yet we allow them to inhibit our lives without realising that the majority of our many emotional problems are solvable simply by a proper understanding of the human condition. The most asked question of all time is: Am I Loved?

Why do we breathe and why do we need to eat and drink? That is how we are made. We couldn’t survive in any other way. And that is also the case with love.

As human beings we have two special gifts from nature not given so generously to the rest of creation: our emotions and our capacity to love. They stand at the very core of our survival which makes our subject all the more worthwhile, indeed almost tender because as we consider love we are dealing with fallible, loveable, needy and vulnerable human beings just like you and just like me. We are all irrevocably the same.

Remember that love is nature’s gift to us and it will be no surprise that the pursuit of love is a passion, a game, in which practically every individual will participate , if not on a daily basis, then at least at some stage in their lives. Loving is a huge human need but nature has ordained that being loved is by far the greatest human need of all. We never tire of trying to satisfy it.

Love is the only voluntary emotion we have; that is one we can choose to give or withhold. Love looks out for the dangers we must avoid to survive. Love is another pair of eyes and ears, a source of care, a wise and experienced hand to avoid risk, and love is a source of happiness too, the most necessary gift to humankind. When you are loved you find protection and fulfilment in the emotions of others.

To put it simply, love is our predominant desire and our predominant need. Reducing life to its essential parts, stripping out the hosts of feelings that confront and confuse us every minute of every day, love is the single greatest force that influences and propels the course of all human experience. It is love that truly distinguishes us from other animals; it is love that makes life possible; indeed it is love that makes life liveable and worthwhile.

And what is love? Love is like an elephant: you know it when you see it, even, or especially, when it is gone. But can love be defined? I think it can. In fact it comes down to something very simple, namely, the gauging and supply of another’s needs. That is all it is.

It is a binding that contains us all, the glue that holds us together, the care, the security we crave for, the supply of our personal needs.

We give love and we receive it. But really we trade it. We wish to love but, above all, we wish to be loved and in many instances that single desire will be greater than our personal desire to give love.

Being loved, feeling loved, is the real and actual key to the age-old question: what makes people happy? As Steven Pinker writes in ‘How the Mind Works’, “The study of happiness often sounds like a sermon for traditional values. The numbers show it is not the rich, privileged, robust or good-looking who are happy: it is those who have spouses, friends, religion and challenging work.” In short, all individuals whose relationships endow them with the potential to love and be loved.

Aspirations of love and of being loved are the constant waking schemes and sleeping dreams of all humankind. Indeed, acting like a barometer for our mental health, the satisfaction or otherwise of our need to be loved is paramount for our wellbeing.

We give love to find love. When we feel loved, we feel both protection and fulfilment in the emotions of others. That need, that essential dependence on others when we consider ourselves strong and self-sufficient, exists whether or not we are aware of it, can speak of love, have difficulty in finding it or spend our lives in search of it. All of us need to be loved, even when we persuade ourselves that we don’t or appear to be unlovable.

Being loved, feeling loved, is the greatest prize of our existence. It is the only way we can satisfy our need to be happy and whole and at one with our nature, crucially bringing added security to our genes through the loving concern of others.

And so the sight or sound of another human being becomes the most physically arousing thing that a human being can see or hear. Such is the potential of love, going not just to our heart but to the very heart of our being, the constant need for which provides us with our tenderest feelings, our romantic spirits, our passionate ways and a lifelong spur to go on always propelled by our great need to be loved.

And what of our need to be loved? It’s really just a call for someone to love us.

Am I Loved? The Most Asked Question Of All Time by John D. Bieber published by Umbria Press is available now in hardback and eBook in all good bookshops and online.
www.johndbieber.co.uk
Feb 15
Love0
birth advice

Do I need an antenatal class?

By Education, family, Health, prenancy, Relationships

by Jackie Whitford
www.birth-wise.co.uk

“I’m pregnant with my first baby and all is going well. My sister has just had a baby and has told me all about it and given me the books she found useful. I think I have all the information and support I need.” I’ve heard this sort of viewpoint expressed ever since I started holding antenatal classes (over 40 years ago) but now followed by… “And of course I can get any other information from the internet!” So why indeed would you need an antenatal class?

Firstly, you will meet a group of women and their partners who are at the same stage in their lives and chances are you will meet your new friendship and support group. My own antenatal class pals are still great friends, meeting up regularly some four decades later!

Early parenthood is a time of big changes and transitions (like starting school or leaving home) and it is great to meet others on the same journey sharing all its excitement and uncertainty. My antenatal classes usually form their own WhatsApp groups – it’s good to chat to someone else who is in exactly the same boat when you are doing a feed at three o’clock in the morning!

Secondly, regardless of what worked (or didn’t) for your sister/friend/mum, labour and birth are as individual as you are. What was OK for them, may well not be for you. A good class will set out your choices. It should give you knowledge, skills and confidence as to where you have your baby and the options available to you. Through looking at the latest research and discussing with others, you can choose what feels right for you – whether it’s an elective caesarean or a hypnobirth.

A good antenatal class should also prepare you for Plan B – what if your labour doesn’t go as you had hoped? In a recent class, one of the women had planned and booked in for an elective caesarean. She was attending classes to make local friends and wasn’t really engaged with discussions about physiological labour. However, her baby decided to make an early and rapid entry into the world. She said, “Although I was shocked, it’s not what I had planned, I knew what to do. Somewhere I could hear you saying breathe out, relax, you can do this.” Labour and birth can be unpredictable and you need to be knowledgeable and confident to cope with all possible variations.

Which class?
I would recommend choosing a class that runs once a week over five or more weeks ideally to start from week 30 or 32 of your pregnancy. This gives you a chance to really get to know others in your group and a chance to practice the many comfort techniques introduced plus plenty of time for questions. Ideally your class will be run by someone with a breadth of experience both personally and professionally and be committed to supporting you in the birth experience that you want.

“I think attending a good antenatal class will prove to be one of your best decisions, with the benefits of ongoing support and friendship.”

Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield. For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk

Feb 15
Love0
family farm

The benefits of bonding with animals for children’s emotional development

By Education, environment, Family Farms, fun for children, Gardening, Green, Mental health

by Nicola Henderson
Godstone Farm

For many of us, our first friends in life might be a sibling or cousins, but more often than not, it is a furry friend in the form of a family pet. A dog, cat or even a pet fish can teach children so much about caring for others, helping young children learn to express empathy for another soul and understanding the responsibilities required to look after an animal. This is the core principle behind the ethos of many family farm attractions across the UK and accounts for the demand from parents for their children to attend farm-based nurseries and preschools too.

Typically, farm parks and farm-based nurseries are an ideal way for children to learn about how to care for a huge variety of animals – quite literally ‘all creatures great and small’ in a safe way. Many childcare experts have extolled the benefits of sensory play, but in many respects, learning to interact with animals is the original sensory play. For young children who are interested in, and emotionally invested in animals, it can also be a highly effective learning ‘tool’. Utilising things that drive learning and follow a child’s interests can really fast-track a child’s learning and can be much more effective than a prescribed curriculum.

Today, a number of family farm attractions now offer one-to-one hands-on animal experiences from goat herding to meerkat feeding, to help small children learn about the needs of animals, whilst farm based nurseries make daily visits to the animals’ pens, ponds, sties or hutches. Animal encounters are a fantastic way to provoke all-important curiosity, and illicit conversations about a variety of scenarios and new vocabulary to small children. When it comes to emotional development especially, the role of animals
positively correlates with feelings of importance, social competence, and self-esteem. When children learn to care for animals they also learn that treating them nicely and patiently is an invaluable experience in learning to treat people the same way. Animals teach kids about patience and self-control, animals don’t always behave the way we want them to be. Animals can get over excited, scared and bite or peck but learning how to deal with these behaviours teaches children to be patient and have self-control. Children learn to have soft but firm voices and how to be gentle and careful. Animals have proved to be incredibly therapeutic for the children and can reduce stress and anxiety. It’s also recognised that animals give children an understanding of our natural world and how we can look after it. Looking after wildlife’s habitats such as building hedgehog houses or bug hotels, supports complementary discussion about recycling and being resourceful.

Animals also provide children with lessons about life (reproduction, birth, illnesses, accidents, death, and bereavement). Children have the opportunity to see lambs being born and eggs hatching. Animals provide knowledge in biology. When children spend time around the different animals they begin to understand basic biology and how that translates between animal species. Activities like grooming animals and feeding them, understanding what they eat and how food is digested, develops children’s knowledge and of course, children love discussing poo!

Indeed, ask any farmer and they will tell you that they are always busy! Animals create a constant stream of jobs; day in day out, there is something to be done. Rain or shine, from season to season, dawn until dusk, there are animal caring tasks which children can get involved in. With the support of experienced enthusiastic practitioners, children are often excited and look forward to new and alternative experiences that come from time spent with farm animals.

Obviously, a key part of any animal experience is to ensure children feel secure and confident. A cheeky piglet or an inquisitive pony can create opportunities for children to challenge themselves and experience careful risk taking in a positive way. A landmark study by Williams-Siegfredsen (2011) believed that, if children were not exposed to risk, they were denied the opportunity to learn to address everyday challenges and problems. Moreover, the Health and Safety Executive argued that ‘the goal is not to eliminate risk, but to weigh up the risks and benefits. No child will learn about risk if they are wrapped in cotton wool!’ (HSE, 2012, p.1).

Risky play is seen as an important element in animal experiences and naturally, animals can sometimes be unpredictable. In this instance, young children learn about keeping safe when handling and feeding and are taught about infection control measures, how to use equipment safely such as closing gates, how to brush a horse or move around animals safely. As evidenced from a number of Early Years studies, children need personal contact with real animate people and creatures before play can become rich and satisfying (White, 2011).

Godstone Farm in Surrey offers a wider range of animal experiences allowing children (and adults) the chance to go behind the scenes and experience the many benefits of animal contact. www.godstonefarm.co.uk

Feb 14
Love0
boy on a bike

Cycling is ‘jogging’ for your child’s brain!

By children's health, Christmas, Education, family, fun for children, Toys

by Russell James
Glide Balance Bike Classes

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that are the most rewarding. Learning to ride a bike without stabilisers is one of them. Once your child has a bike, cycling is a fun and free activity that they can enjoy with friends and family for life.

It’s easier to learn to cycle when you’re young and it’s a life skill that your child will have forever.

Encouraging your child to ride a bike while they’re young helps to establish healthy exercise habits that are likely to stay with them for life.

Bike riding is a skill that comes with a whole range of benefits. While most of us know that regular cycling contributes to better physical health, there are plenty of other reasons why learning to ride a bike is more important than ever. Here are just a handful of them.

Bike riding is a great way to get your children excited about outdoor exercise from an early age.

Getting outdoors is wonderful for children. They get natural sunlight, which gives them vitamin D, and they get a lot of fresh air, which allows them to get a good sleep at night. The better sleep they get, the healthier they are and the more their body will be able to grow.

Physical activities like cycling have a positive effect on your children’s brain. There’s a very simple reason for this: during physical activity, your child’s whole body, including the brain, is supplied with more oxygen-rich blood and nutrients. This enhances your child’s ability to concentrate and think creatively.

Cycling plays an important role in the overall growth of your child. Riding a bike not only improves physical fitness, it also benefits your child’s learning development and mental health, allowing them to grow mentally and emotionally, gaining strength in their decision making ability. Research shows that students who ride a bike to school are more focused and ready to learn, compared with those who are driven to school by car.

Taking part in regirl unsteady on bikegular physical activity also has links to increased happiness, as well as giving children more opportunities to make friends and social connections.

Cycling is an activity that all ages can enjoy. Mums, dads, children and even grandparents can take part in a family bike ride. It’s a great way to share some quality time, and it’s good for you too. Remember, the key to family bike rides is to have fun. So start slowly and take plenty of breaks to give little riders time to rest.

Teaching your child to ride a bike has long-term benefits for the environment. Using active transport like cycling instead of driving reduces carbon emissions, eases traffic congestion and eliminates parking problems. Less pollution and less traffic means our communities will become greener, healthier and less stressful places to live.

Bikes could be described as the perfect vehicle for transport. Once your child gets older, riding a bike becomes a quick and healthy way for them to get to and from school, sporting and play activities. Even better, it saves you time because your child won’t have to rely on you for lifts – now that’s a benefit every parent can relate to!

Jump on a bike and cycle with your children and you could see the kind of health benefits gym members dream of. Cycling raises your metabolic rate, helping you to keep the weight off. Regular cyclists are as fit as an average person 10 years younger. Cycling firms the thighs and bottom, and can even help tone the tummy muscles.

According to a recent survey a third of primary school children have not learnt to ride a bike. Glide wants to change this. Glide, teaches children from two to four years old to ride their balance bikes confidently in a group environment on a weekly basis during term-time. Glide then teaches primary school children to ride their bikes without stabilisers in two hour sessions during term-time (five children max) and three hour sessions (10 children max) during the school holidays. Lets make Britain stabiliser free!

www.glidebalancebikeclasses.com

Feb 14
Love0
happy parenting

Parenting hacks no one tells you

By Childcare and Nannying, family, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships

by Richard Templar
author of ‘The Rules of…’ series.

Being a parent is always going to be tricky at times, and while there’s no magic wand to make it run smoothly all the time, there are strategies that will help make it easier and more enjoyable. I’m not talking about tips and hints for potty training or getting them to sleep, useful as some of those can be. I’m talking about mindsets that will help frame your attitude to the whole parenting thing, in ways that make your life – and the kids’ lives – easier.

Do not be afraid of a bit of boredom
There can be pressure nowadays to run your kids around to countless after-school and weekend activities – football, swimming, drama, martial arts, dance, music classes and sessions. It keeps them busy, and boy does it keep you busy. However, the best thing for kids to do with their free time is nothing at all. That’s because it frees up their imagination and encourages real creativity. It’s actually better for the kids to run around together with sticks making up games, or look under stones in the park for insects, than to be organised by someone else. Being bored is the best stimulus the imagination can have, and most kids – especially if you can get them together with siblings or other kids – won’t stay bored for long. Our kids are going to grow up into a world where creativity and imagination are hugely valued, yet they risk having had less chance to cultivate it than previous generations. So give them a head start by incorporating loads of empty time into their week. That’s not to say all extra-curricular activities are a bad thing – they can be great – but while your kids are young a couple of sessions a week is plenty, and it’s healthier for them to fill the rest of their time themselves, while you settle down with a cuppa.

Sibling squabbling is healthy
I mentioned siblings back there, and if you have more than one child you’ll probably have experienced your share of sibling squabbles. So know this: squabbling is really healthy. It’s better than not squabbling. Yes I know it doesn’t always feel that way, and sometimes less is more, but next time you hear the kids bickering or fighting, smile and tell yourself it’s a good thing. Why? Because until you squabble, you can’t learn how to resolve an argument. Your kids are learning how far they can push someone, what helps get the other person on their side, how to control their anger, what works and what doesn’t – and all with someone who can’t just walk off and say “I’m not your friend any more.” Most of the world’s best diplomats grew up with siblings. So appreciate the squabbles despite everything and, above all, don’t impose solutions on them – make them find their own. You know the sort of thing: “I’m taking it away until you both/all come and tell me how you’re going to play with it without arguing.”

Lead by example
A good friend once asked me, “How do I get my kids to understand do what I say, not what I do?” The answer is very simple: you can’t. You have to set the example and if you can’t do it, why would you expect a child to be able to? Especially when the person they most love and respect isn’t doing it. So, if your child forgets their pleases and thank yous, or is always interrupting, or shouts at you a lot, it’s worth checking your own behaviour. I’m not saying it’s always down to you – lots of kids go through these phases without any help – but if your record isn’t a hundred percent, you’ll improve their behaviour much faster if you can change your own. And it’s surprising how many parents give their kids instructions without a please, or forget to say thank you to them. It’s understandable in the hustle and bustle of parenting, but you’re making your own job harder than it needs to be.

Healthy parenting – not perfect parentingrules of everything
And finally, always remember that you shouldn’t even try to be perfect. Can you imagine what a burden it would put on kids to have perfect parents? Parents who were always right, who gave you nothing to kick against? Who couldn’t model how to apologise for mistakes because they never made them – or how to make up after an argument because they never argued? A perfect parent gives their child no clue how to be human, how to be flawed and imperfect but accept themselves as they are. If you can be a bit forgetful, or short-tempered, or neurotic, brilliant! That’s just what your kids need to see – that normal healthy adults can function perfectly well, and have great relationships, without having to be entirely prefect in every way. So next time you think you’ve messed up, don’t berate yourself. Just think, “Phew! I’ve dodged being perfect!”

Richard Templar is the author of the global best-selling ‘The Rules of…’ series. The Rules of Everything is published by Pearson, priced at £12.99, and is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

Nov 30
Love0
worried child

Helping children to manage worry and challenge unhelpful thinking

By Education, Health, Mental health, special educational needs

by Gosia Bowling
National Lead for Mental Health at Nuffield Health

With almost half of parents expressing fears that the pandemic has impacted their children’s mental health, how exactly can concerned caregivers reach out and support children in managing unhelpful thinking?

The value of listening
Conversations around emotional wellbeing are difficult for anyone, let alone children – who worry they’ll be viewed differently if they admit to experiencing negative thoughts.

So, they must be handled sensitively, at the right moment. For example, instead of sitting down for a formal chat, gently introduce questions while engaging in other activities or games.

Listening is then key. We often feel the need to interrogate or offer advice but remember to take a step back – it is important that this is their time to talk and our time to listen.

Focus on ‘reflective listening’ – the skill of letting the speaker know they’re being understood without shifting the focus away from the content of their speech.

This may include echoing feelings back to them, for example, “you’re worried that exams will be harder this year”, without attempting to offer a personal perspective or solution.

This shows the child you aren’t looking for a quick-fix or trivialising their feelings but deeply understanding and validating their worries.

Normalise feelings
The reason many individuals feel reluctant to speak or seek help is that they believe they are alone in their experiences. That their thoughts and experiences are unique and therefore no one can support them.

This often manifests in expressions like “you must think I’m crazy” or “do you think differently of me now?” and stresses the importance of normalising feelings of distress.

Once children learn their experiences are not only common but expected, they are more open to exploring them – taking comfort in the knowledge that those around them have experienced the same emotions and learned how to manage them.

The process of normalisation may start with phrases of agreement, like “I would be stressed too if I were in your situation” before moving towards reassurance, such as “these feelings are common’” and “every other child will be anxious about moving classes, too”.

Embrace support
Caregivers should remember they can’t be expected to have all the answers. There is truth to the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and there is no shame in welcoming support from the community.

This may include family, friends and even those in positions of responsibility like teachers or sports coaches.

Caregivers can confide in others without breaking the trust or confidentiality of the child. For example, the content of direct conversations doesn’t need to be relayed and it could be as simple as stating you’ve noticed the child isn’t as chatty or active as usual recently.

Making others aware of the challenges facing the child increases the opportunities for someone to ask questions, open a dialogue and share how they’ve coped with similar experiences in their life.

This support may also come in the form of formal tools and education. Caregivers are encouraged to learn about common behaviours and thinking patterns associated with mental health difficulties – from recognising the signs in themselves or others to working with managing unhelpful thought patterns with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

For example, Nuffield Health has teamed up with SilverCloud to deliver a CBT module aimed at those dealing with anxiety and low mood in young people, offering support and tools including coping mechanisms.

These include positive communication skills, thinking patterns and breathing techniques designed to prevent feelings of emotional distress from spiralling, as well as preventative strategies like problem-solving and self-esteem building, to equip caregivers with all the tools needed to support and educate children.

Article supplied by www.nuffieldhealth.com

Nov 08
Love0
SEN learning

What should you do if you think your child may have Special Educational Needs?

By Education, Mental health, numeracy skills, reading, Relationships, special educational needs

by Chloe Chapman
SEND Consultancy Services

The term ‘Special Educational Needs’ describes learning difficulties or disabilities that make it more difficult for children to learn than most other children of the same age.

What is the first step I should take if I think my child has Special Educational Needs?
It can be a worrying time if you are concerned that your child is not developing in the same way as other children or doing as well as they could be in nursery, school or college. Each educational setting will have a SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) responsible for providing additional support for children with additional needs. If you have concerns, you should arrange a meeting with the SENCO and other key staff who work with your child frequently (for example, the class teacher or form tutor), to discuss where you feel your child is struggling and what support is already in place to help your child.

The school (and you) may feel that your child needs more support, and this should be reflected within a SEN Support Plan.

The SEN Support Plan should include clear outcomes that it is expected your child will meet, and the support they will need for that to happen. For example, if your child is struggling with writing, support may include an intervention or support group that your child will attend, and during writing activities a staff member will support them. The SEN Support Plan should be reviewed regularly to ensure that your child is making good progress and the support is working well.

What is the next step if a SEN Support Plan is not working?
If your child has a SEN Support Plan, but they are still not making as much progress as would be expected, they may need an Educational, Health and Care (EHC) Plan. A parent/guardian, educational setting or a professional working with your child can apply for an EHC Plan, using the link available on the Local Offer for your Local Authority.

You do not have to use the forms provided by the Local Authority, but they will guide you as to what information to include. It is important to include as much evidence as possible – this can be information from the educational setting such as; a copy of the SEN Support Plan, results from standardised tests and examples of your child’s work. If your child has received additional care from Health Professionals such as your GP, a Paediatrician or Consultant, then include any corresponding paperwork. You can include reports from other professionals who may have worked with your child, such as: Educational Psychologist, Occupational Therapist, Speech and Language Therapist, Behavioural Support Worker or a Physiotherapist. Where possible, evidence should be dated from the last two years so it is still relevant to your child. For your child to receive the help they need it is important for reports to reflect how they might be on their worst day; this can make for difficult and emotional reading. Please remember that this is a means to an end and with the correct support in place the good days should far outweigh the more challenging days.

Once this information has been submitted to the Local Authority, they will make a decision about whether your child will undertake an EHC Needs Assessment. This is a 20 week assessment process, where the Local Authority gathers further information on your child to make a decision about what level of support is required. At the end of this process your child may receive an EHC Plan, or they may remain on a SEN Support Plan.

How to find information about services available through my Local Authority?
Local Authorities have an obligation to publish information relating to services and support for children on the Local Offer. The Local Offer will include information about how to apply for an EHC Plan, who to contact for help and what the process will look like for your area. If you are thinking about applying for an EHC Plan it can be useful to discuss this first with your local SEN Team, a local support group or an independent SEN consultant.

Aside from an EHC Plan, what else should my Local Authority be offering? –
The Local Offer should explain what schools are expected to provide as part of a universal offer for every child. Teachers should be regularly assessing children to identify which children may need additional help. In any one class, the teaching staff (with guidance from the SENCO), could be running a number of catch up or intervention groups for children with skills or knowledge gaps. The expectation is that if a teacher identifies a gap or delay, that the school should look to their own existing groups and resources to support a child in the first instance. As a parent, regular communication with school staff is key to making sure that you are both on the same page and your child is getting access to the support they need.

If you would like more advice about your child and their individual circumstances, then please do get in touch. SEND Consultancy Services can talk through possible next steps, attend meetings, read over reports, SEN Support Plans or EHC Plans and be an advocate for you and your child.

www.sendconsultancyservices.co.uk – chloe@sendconsultancyservices.co.uk – www.surreylocaloffer.org.uk

Nov 05
Love0
forest skills

Using outdoor learning to enrich a child’s education

By Education, environment, Family Farms, Forest School, Green, Mental health

by Barnaby Sandow
Head of School, ACS International School Cobham

The great outdoors is an invaluable and immediate educational resource, uniquely placed to build children’s awareness of the world, while being highly beneficial to both their personal and academic development.

Outdoor learning can take many forms – from taking a maths lesson outside, to giving children the opportunity to explore the fauna and flora of their surroundings. As a result, it has a wide range of benefits.

Research has shown improved health and wellbeing as one of the many outcomes of outdoor learning. Learning in the great outdoors not only allows children to be more active during the school day and lead a healthier lifestyle, but also provides an opportunity for them to relax and subsequently feel more refreshed and ready to learn. Taking the classroom outside can also increase student engagement; outdoor settings have the ability to fully energise an inquiring mind in a completely different way to indoor classroom environments.

Helping schools to enhance their outdoor learning offering and ensure children can enjoy meaningful and effective lessons, the Forest School Association offers a national accreditation that schools can apply for to deliver both structured and unstructured outdoor sessions. At our school, we have a long-established Forest School programme, led by our own Forest School accredited teachers and trainers, who are able to deliver valuable outdoor sessions for children from the age of two upwards.

The beauty of Forest School and general outdoor learning is that it offers children great variety in their learning. In one session, children could be asked to create natural inventions, such as flower crowns or pressed leaf drawings, and share stories with one another; this encourages creativity while enabling them to reflect on their experiences. In another session, children could be taught how to build a campfire and learn about fire safety, giving them the opportunity to physically test their skills in the real world and build the confidence to take risks in a supported and safe environment.

Forest School learning can see children journeying together through the woods or engaging in simple rough and tumble, which engage all of a child’s senses and are crucial for helping them to make sense of the world around them, while strengthening their communication and teamwork skills.

In outdoor sessions, children are also given free time to fully explore and interact with nature, being able to discover a variety of trees, plants and their surroundings in greater detail and learn about the world around them – in the most hands-on way possible.

From our experience, we have found that outdoor learning is particularly beneficial for younger children. They are given the space to be active and enjoy being noisy and messy, while engaging in play-based learning and exploration. With activities based on small, achievable steps, spending time outside helps to increase self-confidence and independence in the early years. Additional benefits of outdoor learning for younger children include improving their focus and attention, while physically helping to improve their balance, co-ordination and fine motor skills.

Beyond school, there are many ways that parents can facilitate outdoor learning in the evenings and the holidays to continue their child’s development at home. By encouraging simple and fun learning activities, such as den-building, painting a mural in the garden, or taking garden and wildlife photography, parents can help to spark the imagination of their child and increase their motivation to learn in all areas of their life – not just in the classroom!

For more information on ACS Cobham’s provision and to book an open day, please visit:

www.acs-schools.com/cobham

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