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Jan 26
Love0

Autism

By Education, family, Relationships
by Dr Jill Bradshaw, George Watts, Dr Clare Melvin,
Lizzie Gale and Krysia Emily Waldock

Autistic people have different ways of processing information which results in differences in thinking and behaving. Non-autistic people like to think that the world they have created makes sense but does it? Non-autistic people rarely say what they mean and yet expect other people to be able to interpret what they say. Non-autistic people make social rules and then don’t actually stick to them – what you are allowed to do in one context is very different from what you are allowed to do in another.

What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the word autism? How many people do you know who are autistic? Are all the autistic people you know exactly the same? Or are they all quite different? What do they share in common which has led to the diagnosis of autism? These are all questions we explore in our online course, Understanding Autism.

We know that at least one in every 100 people are autistic and it may be even more common. There are autistic children, adults, parents, siblings, spouses and grandparents. There are autistic people in every walk of life, from architects to zoologists. Although we used to think of autistic people as being more likely to be male, many females are also autistic. Some autistic people also have an intellectual disability.

Autistic people will have difficulties with elements of social communication, with understanding the ‘hidden’ conventions which guide interactions with other people (such as when to make eye contact and when it is acceptable to interrupt a conversation). Autistic ways of communicating are not always easily understood by non-autistic people. This can lead to misunderstandings.

Non-autistic people need to take care when making assumptions about autistic people. For example an autistic child may not make eye contact but still be listening really carefully or a child may not look like they are seeking social interaction but may still want to socialise. An autistic child may not appear to show empathy but may well be overwhelmed by the emotions of others. Autistic people are likely to have a spiky ability profile. We tend to assume that if people are quite good at one skill (like reading) then they will also be quite good in other areas of development (like daily living skills). Autistic people might be very good at one skill but find another skill much harder.

Autistic people are also likely to have sensory differences. They might find some everyday sensory experiences completely overwhelming. Alternatively, they might actively seek and delight in other sensory experiences. Many autistic people might experience both. Autistic people might have intense interests which they hyperfocus on, or do things in a repetitive way such as only eating certain foods or moving in a particular way. Autistic people may also have great strengths such as being able to pay attention to minute detail or developing extensive knowledge about an interest.

Generally, autistic people are likely to experience high levels of anxiety. Autistic people might find it hard to make sense of the world and to predict what other people are going to do and how they might react. Imagine you are in a foreign land where you do not speak the language or understand the culture and somehow everything you do appears to be the wrong thing. Imagine if the rules kept changing. How might you feel? What might you do, or not do?

What do you need to know if you are parent of an autistic child?
• You know your child better than anyone else.
• Even people who are supposed to know about autism will probably say and do things that are really unhelpful at times.
• You might have to fight for what you and your child need.
• Other people might think that everything your child does or does not do is because they are autistic. They might not look for other explanations like medical needs.
• Other autistic people and parents of autistic children will have very useful information about what it is like to be autistic and what might help.
• Create autism-friendly environments. What sensory experiences are helpful and unhelpful? How can you make things as predictable as possible?
• What is your child good at? How can you make the most of their strengths?
• How does your child communicate and what can you do to support their communication and adapt your own, and that of others around them, so it is more effective?
• How is your child’s mental health being supported? Are there people recognising the distress that is often caused by trying to navigate a non-autistic world?
• Check your assumptions. Remember that every autistic child is different.
• Look after yourself. Parenting is hard! Parenting a child who thinks differently can be even harder. Be kind to yourself and ask for support when you need it.

Jill is a senior lecturer in intellectual and developmental disabilities at the Tizard Centre, University of Kent. George, Lizzie and Krysia are all postgraduate students in the department. Clare recently completed her PhD at the Tizard Centre and is now a lecturer in psychology at the University of East Anglia. Together they have developed (with others) the FutureLearn course on Understanding Autism. George and Krysia are autistic.
FutureLearn www.futurelearn.com/courses/autism

Jan 19
Love0

A preschool is where a child’s educational journey begins, where key skills are developed and a love of learning is cultivated

By Education, family, fun for children, numeracy skills, Playing, reading, Relationships
by Susan Clarke
Head of Rowan Preparatory School, Claygate, Surrey

Do you recall your first day of school? If not, your parents will have done, just like you now considering the educational path your child is on. When choosing the right environment, there are many factors to consider yet there is an abundance of choice regarding nurseries, preschools, and schools; so how do you choose?

Primarily we want our children to be safe, happy and enjoy the opportunities provided for them. However, look behind the scenes and there are huge differences in what’s on offer. Below are a few handy tips on what to watch out for.

Children will benefit from a setting that has that perfect home-away-from-home feel, with warm, inviting spaces for them to grow, learn and discover. Take the time to explore nursery and preschool settings with small classes, specialist teaching provision, adventures to the woods and outdoor play areas and you are well on your way to instilling a love of learning in your child.

Experts in the Early Years
Do you know about the importance of cross-lateral movements, singing songs and practising making silly noises together? Not to worry if you do not, experts in the Early Years will be leading you and your child all the way. Finding the right experts for your child is essential, as building supportive and reassuring relationships at this age are vital for successful early development. At some settings, children will be fortunate enough to learn from passionate, specialist teaching staff, who bring out the best in every child. They will discover their interests and develop their inquisitiveness through exploration, investigation, and play. Staff will give you feedback through portfolios so that you feel involved in your child’s learning journey. Sharing milestones, success and moments of discovery are precious and to be treasured.

Learning through play
Like most early learning environments, the Foundation Stage curriculum is considered to be at the heart of all experiences. Skilled Early Years practitioners will deliver carefully curated topics, based on children’s interests and the curriculum, bringing them to life through song, play and observation. This approach will creatively develop the senses, sounds and imagination of their young charges. Within this world of fantasy, imagination and fun are opportunities for learning sounds, numbers and about the world around them. Look out for settings that nurture their knowledge, understanding and confidence.

Going above and beyond
While communication, personal and social education and mathematics are core to any Early Years curriculum, your choice of nursery can offer much more. What else is on offer? Is sport, dance or yoga offered to complement physical development? Is musical theatre, singing and drama provided to help build confidence and a natural ability to express themselves to a range of audiences? Are the children exposed to learning an additional language, having fun with songs, food and their newly expanded vocabulary? It is a joy to celebrate language and culture and these opportunities are all part of developing a sense of self and belonging in this world.

Woodland wanderers
When I think about my two children when they were two and four, I could barely get them out of a puddle or discourage them from climbing a tree, and who would want to at that age! Using the outdoors to develop knowledge, their language and awareness provides opportunity for real-life discovery. Problem solving skills are developed alongside the ability to communicate, these are essential building blocks in their educational journey. Many nurseries and preschools have access to woodland areas and Forest Schools, which children visit weekly and in all weathers. They will don waders, snow suits or sunhats to explore the woods, returning to school with tales of mini-beasts, den building, witling and wandering. How I yearn to be three again!

Parents as partners
You are an essential part of your child’s development; you know their interests, likes and dislikes. Getting to know whether your child likes dinosaurs, or peas rather than broccoli, will help them settle confidently into their setting. An open-door policy is vital in enabling you to work in partnership with staff and allowing you to discuss any concerns you may have. Look for an environment that holds regular ‘Show and Share’ sessions, where children delight in welcoming their parents into the classroom, proud of the learning space in which they feel comfortable and can excitedly share their prized creations and the skills they have learned.

Ready for ‘big’ school
As your little one nears the end of their time in nursery or preschool, they will be more than ready to embrace the experiences of Reception. Thinking about their transition will be key and if you are able to offer them continuity and familiarly through the same whole school setting or through friendship groups this will help ease their way. If your nursery is in a school setting, I know that Reception teachers love nothing more than coming into the Early Year’s rooms and getting to know them for that next big step. Once you have chosen your school for Reception there will be information and activity afternoons, so everyone feels confident and assured about the next stage. Children will radiate confidence from their time in preschool, so much so that Reception in the same environment seems natural and reassuring.

Susan Clarke is the Headmistress at Rowan Preparatory School in Claygate, Surrey, an outstanding prep school and preschool for girls aged 2-11.
The school motto Hic Feliciter Laboramus – Here We Work Happily – is a sentiment embodied throughout the school, where an engaging and inspiring approach to education creates a lifelong love of learning. To discover more visit www.rowanprepschool.co.uk or contact admissions@rowanprepschool.co.uk to arrange a visit.

Nov 07
Love0

Could you be a school governor?

By Education, family, Relationships
by Sharon MacKenzie
School and Governance Development Manager
Brighton & Hove City Council

Who are school governors and what do they do?
School governors are one of the largest volunteer groups in the country. They make a real difference to the lives of children, by working with head teachers and leadership teams to improve schools. Governing bodies work as a team to make decisions.

What kind of person can be a governor?
Governing bodies usually have around 12 governors and they need a range of skills and experience. Whilst it’s important to have governors with leadership skills and experience of monitoring budgets, governing bodies also need to understand the needs of the pupils. People from the local community are therefore crucial, as are those who may have experience of working with children and families. If you have time to commit, work well in a team and are keen to learn, then this can be a very rewarding voluntary role.

What’s in it for me?
You will meet new people, develop skills and learn more about how schools work. Above all, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you have made a real difference to the development of children, young people, their school and the community.

Do I need to have a child at a school?
Not necessarily. There are different types of governor and being a parent governor is only one of them. If you are interested in being a parent governor, you should contact the school to find out about vacancies. Alternatively, you could be appointed onto a governing body as a co-opted governor, depending on the skills and experience they need. The Governor Support Team keeps a list of vacancies and can help to match you to a school – see contact details below.

What is expected of me?
Governing bodies usually meet together once or twice a term. Meetings are being carried out on online platforms during the COVID-19 pandemic, until it is safe to meet together again in schools. Most also hold regular committee meetings that focus on certain areas (for example, curriculum or finance) and have governors who focus on certain areas of work (for example, Special Educational Needs). You will also be expected to carry out school visits, although this type of monitoring is being approached differently at the moment. The amount of hours varies from week to week, but you should expect to spend around 10 days per year on regular duties, which is an average of half a day per fortnight during term-time.

Is training and support provided?
Brighton & Hove’s Governor Support Team provides advice and guidance to governors and clerks, as well as induction and further training – all this is free of charge to the individual. There are also regular briefings to update you on national and local developments. All this is currently being carried out online, using e-learning and virtual discussions.

We are keen to ensure that our governing bodies reflect the diversity of the pupils in our schools. Therefore, we welcome applications from under-represented groups, particularly from black or minority ethnic backgrounds.

For more information: Email: governor.support@brighton-hove.gov.uk Web: www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/governors Twitter: @BHSchoolGovs

Jun 15
Love0

Legal Solutions

By family, Legal, Relationships, Uncategorized

All Your Legal Worries Answered

In each issue of ABC one of Brighton’s leading firms of Solicitors Dean Wilson LLP, covers a topic of interest to parents everywhere. In this issue, Julian Hunt, Partner of the Family Department, aims to set out some of the practical issues you should consider if your relationship has broken down.

The breakdown of your relationship is a distressing and emotional experience. The following summary aims to set out some of the issues you should consider if your relationship has broken down. Of course, every individual case is different and therefore it is advisable that you discuss the situation with your Solicitor.

Here are some general tips about issues, which you will need to consider right away:
• Children – decisions need to be made about who will care for the children. Many parents are able to make arrangements between themselves which is always the best way. If you encounter difficulties consider a referral to Mediation. Court proceedings should only be a last resort.
Take note that the Children Act provides a presumption that the involvement of each parent in the life of the child will further the child’s welfare. ‘Custody’, ‘Residence’ and ‘Contact Orders’ are terms which no longer apply. Instead the Court will make a ‘Child Arrangements Order’ to define the amount of time that the child would spend with each parent.
• Inform your children jointly of the decision to separate and emphasise that it is not their fault and that both parents love them equally.
• Child Support – try to reach a voluntary arrangement with your ex-partner for a weekly or monthly payment. Go to www.gov.uk/child-maintenance and use the child maintenance calculator to assess how much your ex-partner should pay.
• Ongoing financial Support – (‘spousal maintenance’) – if you are married you could apply for maintenance for yourself. If you are not married your partner does not have a duty to support you once the relationship ends, only to pay child support if applicable.
• Property – if there are children involved it is always better for parents to come to a mutual decision about who will leave
the home so that it will cause the least disruption for the family. If you jointly own the property you cannot simply change the locks and exclude the other from the property. If you are a non-owning spouse you have rights of occupation and a right not to be evicted from your home. Application can be made to the Land Registry to protect your occupation and prevent your spouse from disposing of the property.

If you have been subjected to
or threatened with physical abuse by your partner you may need to consider making application for a Court Order
to have them excluded.

If you are in rented accommodation and you are moving out of the property, you should see if you can be removed from the Tenancy.

On Separation:
• Contact the Local Authority Council Tax Section as you may be eligible for a Council Tax reduction, or if you are moving out of the property to ensure that you are not liable for any subsequent payments.
• Contact the Benefits Agency if you are in receipt of benefits, as separation may affect your entitlements.
• Contact the Tax Office if you are receiving Universal Credit or Tax Credits to reassess your entitlements, or otherwise to see if you are now entitled to Child and Working Families Tax Credits.
• Contact your banks, building societies especially if you have a joint account. It may be advisable to consider freezing the account to prevent your partner from withdrawing some or all of the funds without your agreement, or at least change the drawing arrangement so that withdrawals require both your signatures.
• Contact all credit card companies especially if you have joint credit cards because you are jointly responsible for any expenses incurred. You do not want a situation whereby your partner could run up further debts because ultimately the credit card company could also pursue you for these as the card is in your joint names.
• Consider changing your Will if you have appointed your ex-partner as the beneficiary of your Estate. If you have not made a Will then you may want to consider making one to ensure that your Estate does not automatically pass to your spouse, or you may want to make specific provision for any children to ensure security for them.

As an ABC reader you can call the Private Client Department on 01273 249200 to arrange a no obligation telephone discussion and, if required, a fixed-fee meeting.

Jun 04
Love0
kids in a line

Why recognising the early signs of mental health issues in children is crucial

By children's health, Health, Mental health, Relationships, Uncategorized

Children and young people’s mental health has never been so high on the public agenda. Figures released recently show that 5% of children aged five to 10 have conduct disorder; this increases to 7% as young people approach secondary school years (Green et al.) and referrals to child mental health units from UK primary schools for pupils aged 11 and under have risen by nearly 50% in three years.
In May this year, former Prime Minister Theresa May announced a funding package to provide teachers and care workers with training on how to spot the signs of mental health issues. The wide-ranging package of measures make sure staff have the confidence and skills they need to identify mental health issues in young people before they become critical.

However, concerns have already been raised about the lack of mental health services available to young people once issues have been identified. Shadow Health Secretary Barbara Keeley said: “Once again we hear warm words from the Prime Minister on mental health, but the reality is that mental health services are stretched to breaking point and people with mental health problems aren’t getting the support they need.”

The most common mental health problem affecting children are conduct disorders (severe and persistent behavioural problems). Severe and persistent behavioural problems starting before secondary school years which go unsupported can have a long-term impact on children’s mental health and life chances.

Early years and education providers have a responsibility to provide staff with the training and support required to recognise early signs of mental health problems at this young age. Equipping staff with the skills to recognise warning signs and behaviours could lead to a child gaining the support they need to maintain mental wellbeing.

It’s a subject very close to the heart of Ann Poolton, Head of CPD Courses at BB Training, and her team. “We are very passionate about this issue. Not only can early identification save children from stressful situations, but it ensures staff are better placed to support young people in their care. We continue to offer best practice advise and training on this subject both internally and externally, as we understand the importance of promoting good mental health for children and staff alike.”

The funding now available should be used by employers to provide the necessary training required to give teachers the confidence and ability to cope with the rise in mental health issues in children.

Ann concluded: “For people working with young children, it is key that they are able to recognise the early signs of mental health problems and understand how to develop strategies to build resilience in children. The environment they grow up in, and their ability to handle the pressures and stresses of growing up, all play an important role in preventing problems from developing.”

May 06
Love0
couple

Unsolicited advice parenting your own way

By family, Mental health, Relationships

Somehow, having a baby seems to grant everyone around you a green card in telling you what you should and shouldn’t do with your child. From breastfeeding, to sleeping, playing, dressing, cleaning, and even speaking to your baby, there isn’t one aspect that goes unnoticed by self-proclaimed parenting experts.
Whether you’re a first or fourth time parent, having a new baby can be both the most wonderful time of your life, and the most emotionally draining. The last thing you need is other people – family members, strangers, parents and non-parents alike – adding to that stress and affecting you.

Nelsons Teetha®, the homeopathic teething relief brand has put together a list of conflict-free ways to help you deal with different scenarios in order to help you keep your cool in frustrating situations.

Parents – “That’s not how we did it with you”
Dealing with advice from your parents can be difficult to manoeuvre, especially if you disagree. After all, they are the ones who raised you, and the advice will come from a place of love. Not only that, but they’ve probably grown used to you turning to them for advice. However, there is a fine line between offering suggestions because they want to help and offering comments because they disapprove of what you have chosen to do with your baby. Though you might not want to dismiss their knowledge entirely, being related can offer the chance to explain yourself clearly without causing too much offense. You might want to explain that you appreciate all the help they have provided but that you will be the one to turn to them if you need advice. Be honest with them, they are your parents and putting off telling them how you feel might make you grow to resent them.

In-laws – “I think it would be best if…”
The in-laws situation is arguably trickier than dealing with your own parents. They will have a whole range of things to say about how they raised their children that obviously have nothing to do with you. Instead of snapping back at them and causing an uncomfortable family situation, you could turn the situation around and ask them some questions. Switch the focus to them and then change the conversation. If all else fails, talk to your partner about presenting a united front. Just as you might be more comfortable telling your own parents not to give unsolicited advice, so might your partner be to their parents.

Parent-friends – “Are you really going to do that?”
Friends who are parents themselves might also be prone to chiming in with comments about your parenting skills. Like your in-laws, they will have their own set of views that might differ completely to yours. Agreeing to disagree might be the best option here. Handle it in a way you might other topics, such as religion or politics. Simply tell them that you have decided to do something in one way, that you are totally fine with them doing it in another and that you should leave it at that.

Non-parent-friends – “I’ve heard that you should…”
It can be frustrating when someone who does not have children decides to tell you how you should raise yours, however try not to take it personally. Know your facts, trust your instincts and maybe try to educate your friend. Clarify the point they have made a comment about with an expert’s view, or knowledge you have received from a doctor. The more they know, the less likely they will be to make a comment again.

Strangers – “You’re putting your child at risk!”
There are quite a few online threads where parents post the craziest things that strangers have told them and it’s hard to imagine what you would do in those situations. Though getting defensive might be your initial response, there are a few things you can do to dismiss the stranger without causing a scene. The first would be to ignore them and keep walking, after all, you don’t owe them anything. If they persist, you could politely thank them but tell them you know what you are doing. If this doesn’t work, then you have every right to kindly tell them to mind their own business.

Ultimately, your life as a parent will be filled with a vast array of conflicting advice and information. Whether it’s through books, doctors, friends, family or strangers, everybody will have their own way of doing things. The best thing to do is to educate yourself, learn how to deal with different situations, and most importantly, to trust your own instincts as a parent. As long as you know that you are making the best decisions for your child, you are doing the right thing!

May 02
Love0

A kid’s guide to moving house

By family, houses and property, Relationships
by Emma Kenny
Psychologist

Moving to a new house is considered one of the most stressful experiences that a family can go through, and whilst to some degree even the smoothest of moves can pose a fair few challenges, the experience can be made easier when all family members feel involved.
Children, just like adults, feel a whole host of emotions when they contemplate what a move of home and area can bring. These range from elation and excitement to absolute terror, so it is absolutely paramount to understand how your kids feel throughout the relocation process.

Let’s face it, moving home is a big deal, and the more that you can prepare your kids emotionally, psychologically, socially and physically, the better it will be for the family.

Top tips for parents to help children through the moving process:

Communicate and help children verbalise fears
As soon as you firmly decide to move home it is time to begin communicating your decision to your children. Before you sit down with them to discuss the move, make sure that you have created a list of reasons as to why you have decided that moving to a new house will be brilliant. Remember, the more positive and prepared you are, the more convincing you will be, and this will help to reduce any anxiety that your children may have.

Get children to openly discuss and explain any fears or worries that are concerning them regarding the house move. Explain that it is totally normal to feel a bit scared when facing a big change.

Provide children with a sense of control
Children like thinking that they are in charge! It feels good for them to perceive that they have a say, and a certain amount of sway when it comes to what is happening in their life. Get them to sit down with you and list all the fantastic things about moving house. Making new friends, learning new activities or starting a completely new life can be hugely exciting. The most positive you think the most positive they’ll feel. Also take them along with you when doing viewings – this really helps them feel a sense of authority and that they have
a say in the process.

Be prepared for any questions that they have and above all, take their concerns seriously.

Use their imagination
Children love using their imagination to conjure all sorts of fantastical eventualities.
Get them to draw a picture
of their ‘Dream Home’. This could be totally wacky, princess-style castle or a country cottage – whatever they bring to life, will help them understand the concept of moving into a new home and living in a new place.

Do a trial run
As with many things – try before you buy! It can be really helpful for the whole family to spend some fun, laid-back days in the new area before you make the big move there. Knowing where the fun places are will make it seem all the more appealing. A nice welcoming cafe, a park, a library or museum are all good places to draw their attention to and get them looking forward to experiencing more time together in the new area.

Plan how to keep in touch with friends
Leaving friends behind is understandably one of the most upsetting aspects of moving to a new house and area. Don’t minimise your child’s feelings no matter how young they are, as whilst they will make new friends, it doesn’t stop saying goodbye being difficult or leave them feeling sad. Instead, acknowledge that it is tough to leave their friends behind, and discuss strategies that will make keeping in contact with friends really easy.

Encourage them to take a few mementos from your existing home which will remind them of all the happy times they spent there. These can be a few rocks from the garden, or a plant that they can dig up and replant at their new property. This helps your child feel that they still have connections to the home that they have left behind.

Bury a time capsule
Before you move to your new house, create a time capsule in a box filled with memories of how you lived your life in your old home. Many years later you could always return to the spot and open the capsule with your family and share your memories. Have the children write down their favourite memories of their old house and the item they’ve put in the capsule to represent that memory. Just make sure you bury it in an accessible and memorable place!

Make a wish list and give them ownership
Start getting the whole family excited about all the fantastic plans you have for everyone once the move is complete. This can include new activities that your kids can try, such as enrolling in a gymnastics club, or starting with a local theatre group, and you can bring these ideas to life by getting them to research them online. Even better, get them to create a physical wish list of things that they would love to do once they are settled to the new place and then help them set some goals so that they can achieve these wishes.

As you settle into your new house, ensure you allow your child some ownership over the design of their new room. Whilst you may think that letting your little ones go crazy with their imagination could lead to some questionable choices in home décor, it enables them to emotionally bond with their new environment and also provides a focus whilst they settle in.

Creative writing
Work with your child to write a moving home story with a main character that moves with their family. Encourage them to use their imagination and have the main character go through the experience of moving homes with their families and settling into a new place, making new friends and joining new clubs and groups in the new area. This will help them envisage what the new environment will be like and familiarise themselves with the concept of moving home.

Check in with them regularly
It is really important to check in regularly with your children to ensure that they can confide in you any troubling feelings that they may be experiencing. Take 10 minutes each night before they go to bed to discuss their feelings about moving home. This allows them to feel supported and also unpack their feelings so that they don’t lie worrying in bed, because tired kids find the world a great deal more challenging.

There are lots of books available which feature stories about children moving house including Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Wrecking Ball or Jenny Eclair’s Moving.

Visit www.purplebricks.co.uk/blog/post/diary-of-a-wimpy-kid for further details and to download ‘A Kids Guide to Moving House’, created by Emma Kenny with Purplebricks, to help families through the moving process.

May 01
Love0

Children of all ages

By family, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Who was not enamoured when Channel 4 first brought preschoolers together with residents in a retirement village in 2017 for ‘Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds’? While there had already been much to indicate that intergenerational interaction was positive, this six week experiment showed that afterwards 80% of the older people scored better on tests of cognition, mood and depression than they had at the outset. There were improvements in physical skills such as balance and mobility and beautiful relationships blossomed between the old and the young too. When the series returned to our screens in 2018 for a 10 week study, this time, the outcomes were measured for the children as well. Child expert Alistair Bryce Clegg found that the children made unexpected progress in areas of empathy, language, independence and imagination.

Sadly, Britain which has a steadily ageing population has become one of the most age segregated countries in the world, according to research, by United for All Ages and the Intergenerational Foundation. As our society develops the old and the young are becoming more separated with fewer opportunities for them to interact. Statistics from a recent Intergenerational Foundation report, suggest that children living in urban areas have only a 5% chance of having someone aged over 65 living in their area. Living apart damages intergenerational relations and makes it harder for the old and the young to understand one another. Additionally it can lead to marginalisation and exclusion.

Age UK says that more than a million of our older people feel lonely. International research project Together Old and Young (TOY) demonstrates that social engagement between generations is important for us all. Intergenerational learning can help to bridge the gaps between different social groups. Older people have wisdom, heritage and experience to pass on and young children are creative and have original ways of thinking. Both age groups have much to learn from each other and their interaction appears to offer benefits including enhanced health wellbeing and the fostering of social cohesion, acceptance and appreciation of diversity. Older people can experience enhanced feelings of purpose and self-esteem and younger people can view old age more positively.

Putting it into practice
My mum is 80 years old and regularly volunteers in our preschool. Although her way of interacting with the children may not be as tactful as the practitioners, particularly when it comes to matters of discipline, the children value her no nonsense approach and enjoy her company as much as she enjoys theirs. Seeing them together fuelled my desire to get an intergenerational project off the ground, something I had been keen to do since learning about co-located early years and elder care facilities such as Mount Pleasant in America and watching the ‘Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds’. Eager to discover more, I undertook an online course delivered by TOY aimed at bringing under eights and over 65s together. The course materials explored intergenerational learning and how it could be applied in a meaningful way, in a range of contexts. I learned that the sharing of experiences and relationship building was one of a number of effective approaches to intergenerational interaction.

With this in mind, I got in contact with a local Afro-Caribbean heritage association and invited some members to participate in a short programme of African drumming alongside some of our children. Old and young enjoyed the sessions and although we were not able to sustain it on a longer term basis, it is definitely something we would repeat. Our next opportunity came when we were invited by a local drama group to join in a project with a local care home that involved monthly visits to participate in dramatic story telling and play activities with the residents. After a term’s worth of visits it can be seen already that they have had a huge impact. The children, including one who has a diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder and another who is a selective talker, really enjoy seeing their ‘grandfriends’. They have steadily gained confidence and have become much more interactive with the residents. The residents themselves are always thrilled to see the children. The number of them becoming involved has grown and one of the highlights has been witnessing one lady who is reported as being uncommunicative, smile when a child handed her a scarf so that she could join in the fun.

Engaging with the residents at the care home has supported the children’s personal and social development and broadened their experiences. They view their ‘grandfriends’ as capable, fun and very special. If you can find an opportunity for your child to engage with an older person, grab it with both hands, you will be glad you did.

Apr 20
Love0

Spending time with your children

By environment, family, fun for children, Playing, Relationships, Sprintime, Uncategorized

According to a study from children’s brand, Stokke, one in four (23%) parents say that their child complains ‘all of the time’ that they can’t spend enough time together. Overall, nearly two-thirds (60%) of children wish they could spend more time with their parents – with the main culprits being work, chores and lack of money to do things.
The most popular quality time activities that parents said their children enjoyed doing the most as a family were:
1. Eating out (41%)
2. Going to the park (41%)
3. Going for walks (40%)
4. Going to the movies (37%)
5. Visiting family and friends (31%)
6. Playing board games (30%)
7. Reading (27%)
8. Swimming (27%)
9. Cooking (26%)
10. Playing games consoles (25%)

Stine Brogaard from Stokke’s offers five top tips on becoming closer to your child and ensuring you spend quality time together.

1.Don’t take time for granted
Instead of booking playdates for your child when you have the day off, make it quality mother/daughter or father/son time, doing something together that you both want to do.

2. Ask your child questions
Find out what their favourite things to do are. A child’s taste changes so much over time so it’s important to keep on track and do things that reflect this.

3. Share passions
Find something that you are passionate about and encourage your child to get into it too. Even better if it’s something you can do together, whether that’s reading, walking, or playing a sport such as football or tennis. This will make it much easier to find time for each other that you’ll enjoy. Though read the signs if they don’t enjoy it, you can’t force these things!

4. Cook together
Eating is something we do every day, so cooking together is a fantastic way to have fun together, give your child responsibility and educate them about food. Give them set tasks, let them choose what they’d like to cook and encourage them. Seeing the family appreciate the food you’ve created together will be something very special to them and give them confidence.

5. Make the most of the shorter windows of time
We all have very busy lives, always going from A to B whether that’s school, work, extra-curricular classes or friends’ houses. If you’re travelling together, make sure you pay your child your full attention and make an effort to understand what’s gone on in their day and share snapshots of your own. The most important thing is to laugh together, and find ways to have fun, wherever you are – no matter how little time you have.

Research has revealed, 87% of parents wished they could spend more time with their children while parents say that less than half (45%) of the time they spend with their child is quality time.

Research of 2,000 parents of children aged under 14 also revealed that when it comes to making key decisions in the household, it appears that the child has more control over what happens today than years gone by. Nearly three-quarters (72%) of people said their child had more control in their home than when they were young, and one in four (27%) admit that their child completely rules the roost! In fact, over half (53%) of British parents said that their child is the bossiest person in the household.

Apr 18
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starting back to school

Top tips for preparing your child for school

By Education, Relationships, Uncategorized
by Claire Russell
Early Years Specialist

Probably one of the biggest milestones of being a parent is that of your child starting school. Before their little one takes this massive next step, mums and dads everywhere will be wondering nervously how they can help prepare them!
It can be an anxious time for parents (and children) but first and foremost, it’s important not to worry (easier said than done, I know). Schools are very good at helping to support children as they transition and will always ensure their needs are met. However, there are a few things parents can do and some good habits they can encourage to help their child feel a little more ready. And I’m not talking about them being able to write their name, or count to 10. It’s a common misconception that the best way to support your child is via academic things but actually preparing them for starting school isn’t about putting pressure on them to learn lots in a short space of time, it’s more about preparing them socially and emotionally.

1. Is your child able to dress themselves? Can they pull their jumper over their head or pop socks on their feet? Can they do the buttons up on their shirt? Can they put their shoes on? Try having a practice. No doubt they’re excited about wearing them and it’s handy for them to get used to dressing themselves because they’ll have to attempt it at school during PE class or when they need the toilet.

2. Try to get your child into the habit of eating independently. Teachers will not be expecting miracles and your child will of course still be supported, no one is going to let them starve, but it won’t be the same as their main carer being there to spoon feed them or gee them along! If they don’t already, encourage them to have a go at using cutlery. Invite them to take their plate to the kitchen afterwards too as they may well be expected to clear their lunch trays at school.

3. Practice independent toileting. Can they wipe their own bum? Can they flush the toilet and wash their hands? Why not create a poster to stick up in the bathroom reminding them of the correct routine – draw around their hands and label each finger: rinse, soap, rub, rinse, dry.

4. Encourage your child to keep warm. Young children often don’t link cold weather to putting their coat on or taking a layer off when it’s hot. Keep prompting them so they get into the habit. Likewise, when it comes to drinking! It’s important to stay hydrated.

5. Focus on sharing. They are going to be in an environment with lots of other children. Now if they’ve been to nursery or preschool previously, they may be used to this but if not, play some games with them, focusing upon sharing and taking turns, following instructions and routines.

6. Try working on and developing fine motor skills. Encourage them to do little fiddly things which strengthen the muscles used in the pincer grip which will be required to hold a pencil or use tools such a scissors. Practise threading beads onto a string, making small items from playdough, or shredding scraps of paper.

7. If a child is a little anxious try to notice if they keep asking the same question. It may be that it’s a certain something that is causing them to worry. Even the smallest of things can appear a big deal to them so sit down together, talk through and unpick the matter. Draw a timetable of the school day including pictures as a visual aid, for example, drop off, sit on carpet, have a snack, play and lunch.

8. Teach your child to recognise their written name. Now while it might not be about learning to write their name, starting to recognise it can be very helpful because they’re going to be seeing it on their pegs, book bags, PE kit. If you don’t already have one, put a sign on their bedroom door – you could make it and decorate it yourselves! Just recognising the first letter of their name can be a big help. Why not make it fun by writing it in shaving foam, paint, chalks, playdough and magnetic fridge letters.

9. If they’re showing an interest in numbers try singing lots of numerical songs. For example, Five Little Ducks Went Swimming One Day; One, Two, Three, Four Five, Once I caught a Fish Alive, as well as counting when you’re out and about. Point out bus numbers, house numbers, numbers around the home – on the oven, on clocks. Count when you climb the stairs and when brushing their teeth. Most importantly, keep it fun. No pressure though! Number recognition is handy but not essential. If they don’t know them then it’s absolutely fine because that is what school is for!

10. Finally, make a habit of reading together regularly. School will be sending home books so encouraging their love of reading now will pay dividends.

Claire Russell is an Early Years Specialist and founder of playHOORAY!. Find out more about Claire at www.playhooray.co.uk or follow her on social media at www.instagram.com/play.hooray and Facebook at www.facebook.com/playhooray.uk for live play demos every week day at 10am.

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