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Jul 01
Love0
school line

A guide to transitioning from prep school to senior school

By Education, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Jessica.Musgrove
Burgess Hill Girls

The transition from prep to senior school represents one of the most significant educational milestones in a young person’s life. This period of change brings exciting opportunities alongside inevitable challenges.

A good senior school will aim to make this transition as seamless as possible, offering a supportive environment where students can flourish academically and personally. Whether your son or daughter is feeling nervous or eager about this next step, thoughtful preparation makes all the difference in ensuring a smooth and successful transition.

Understanding the transition
The shift to senior school involves much more than simply changing buildings or uniforms. Academically, pupils experience more structure with deeper subject-specific studies and heightened expectations for independent learning. While primary school may have emphasised broad knowledge acquisition, the senior school curriculum develops more sophisticated critical thinking and analytical skills.

Equally important is recognising the social and emotional journey ahead. Schools understand the importance of creating a nurturing community where new pupils integrate quickly and confidently. Experienced pastoral teams understand that navigating this social recalibration can be just as challenging as adapting to increased academic demands.

Developing essential study skills
The jump to senior school often reveals gaps in study skills that may not have been apparent previously. It’s important to support students to integrate effective time management, note-taking and revision techniques into their learning from day one. Most schools offer organisational tools like planners and digital resources to help pupils establish productive habits from the outset.

Head of Academic Progress at Burgess Hill Girls, Rohaise Flint, comments”The students who thrive most quickly are those who develop systematic approaches to their studies early on. Purpose-designed study spaces and consistent homework routines create an environment where students can reach their full potential.”

Goal setting for success
Rohaise Flint recommends that pupils establish both short-term and long-term goals. This practise not only boosts motivation but also helps pupils maintain perspective when challenges arise. Whether aiming for certain grades or developing greater confidence in particular subjects, the school’s individualised approach ensures every student receives the guidance they need to succeed.

Extracurricular engagement
Joining clubs, sports, arts programmes and societies are essential opportunities for social integration, skills development and personal discovery. Pupils who engage beyond the classroom consistently report a more fulfilling and balanced school experience.

Good schools like to encourage new pupils to try several activities during their first term before committing to those that most interest them. This exploration period allows them to discover new passions and connect with peers who share similar interests, all within a supportive community.

Building Resilience
Senior school inevitably brings new pressures – academic challenges, social complexities and sometimes, disappointments. At our school, developing resilience is central to its ethos. The school supports students in managing stress through regular physical activity, mindfulness practises, wellbeing days and ensuring adequate rest and recreation.

The pastoral team facilitates open conversations about challenges, normalising the difficulties of transition. Students are reminded that setbacks are natural and often lead to greater growth and self-awareness when approached constructively – a philosophy that prepares them not just for school but for life.

Nurturing social connections
Making new friends while maintaining existing relationships is one of the most important aspects of the transition. Our school has a house system, team activities and collaborative projects with the local community, each providing natural opportunities for social connection. The parent association organises informal gatherings with classmates and a vibrant calendar of school social events ensures every girl feels part of the community from day one.

Digital and resource readiness
At our school, we utilise state-of-the-art digital platforms for assignments, timetables and communications. Beginning September 2025, the school is implementing a 1-to-1 leased device programme, empowering students with flexibility in their learning environment while ensuring seamless access to all academic materials.

The parent’s role
As parents, striking the right balance between supportive involvement and encouraging independence can be challenging. At our school we partner with families through regular communication and parent workshops that provide valuable insights into supporting this transition. Also, an open-door policy ensures parents can always reach staff when guidance is needed.

Student testimonial from Charlotte W. Year 8
“I was incredibly nervous about moving up to senior school last year. After seven years at my small prep school, everything seemed so much bigger and more intimidating at first. But looking back, I can’t believe I was ever worried! During the first week, my form tutor organised these brilliant icebreaker activities that helped me connect with everyone quickly. The buddy system meant I had a peer who checked in regularly, which made navigating the school and new routines so much easier. What surprised me most was how quickly the teachers got to know me personally. My English teacher noticed I was quiet but had strong written ideas, so she encouraged me to join the debating club, which has completely boosted my confidence. The transition was an adjustment – I had to get used to moving between different classrooms and managing more homework – but the organisation skills we learned in the first term made a huge difference. Now I’m helping with this year’s new students, and it’s amazing to see them settling in just like I did. Coming to BHG has been the best decision ever – I’ve discovered talents I never knew I had!”

We believe a successful transition to senior school balances rigorous academic preparation with compassionate emotional support and engaging extracurricular opportunities. Our 120-year tradition of educational excellence, combined with its forward-thinking approach, creates an environment where every girl can thrive.

You are invited to experience the difference for yourself, with places available in both prep and senior school. Contact the admissions team today to arrange a visit and discover how the school transforms potential challenges into opportunities for remarkable growth and achievement.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, please visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

 

Jul 01
Love0
girl in forest

Let them climb

By children's health, Education, environment, fun for children, Green, Safety, Wellbeing
by Lucy Owen-Collins
Head of Adventures at Bee in the Woods

The powerful benefits of outdoor risky play

In an age of screen time, padded playgrounds and hyper-awareness of safety, it can feel instinctive to shout “Be careful!” every time your child climbs a tree or scrambles up a boulder. But what if, in our effort to protect, we’re holding our children back?

As parents, we want to keep our children safe, but research shows that too much caution can actually hold children back from vital developmental opportunities.

Risky play; those thrilling, uncertain, physical experiences like climbing, jumping from heights, balancing on logs, or exploring wild spaces – is more than just a childhood rite of passage. It’s a crucial ingredient in how children grow into confident, capable, resilient adults.

Author and childhood play advocate Tim Gill, in ‘No Fear: Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society’, argues that children need real opportunities to test their limits and take measured risks. When we support rather than suppress this kind of play, we empower children to become more aware of their bodies, make better decisions and develop lifelong emotional resilience.

The benefits of risky play
Physically, risky play helps children build strength, agility, coordination and fine motor control. Scrambling up a climbing frame, balancing on a log, or running across sand not only keeps children active – it enhances their core stability, posture and endurance.

Sensory development also thrives in outdoor play. Movements like spinning, swinging, rolling and balancing stimulate the vestibular and proprioceptive systems – key components in helping children understand where their body is in space. These experiences lay the foundation for everything from focus and attention to emotional regulation and coordination.

Cognitively, risky play sharpens problem-solving and decision-making. Children must assess their environment – “Is this branch strong enough? Can I jump that far?” – and adjust their approach in real time. This self-assessment builds independence and executive function.

Socially and emotionally, children learn to regulate emotions like fear and frustration, and to persevere after a fall or failure. When playing with others, they negotiate, take turns, lead and follow – all vital skills for life. Risky play also nurtures courage and self-esteem: there’s nothing like the glow of pride after scaling a tall rock or swinging across a stream.

Risk is not the enemy – danger is
There’s a difference between risk and danger. Risk is a challenge a child can see, consider and try to overcome. Danger is something hidden or poorly understood. As adults, our role is to assess the environment, offer guidance and stay nearby, rather than removing every possible hazard or stepping in too soon.

Forest School Leaders often use a ‘risk-benefit’ approach – recognising that the benefits of play with risk often outweigh the downsides when managed sensibly.

Supporting safe risky play: What parents can do
Instead of shutting down adventurous play, we can shift how we support it. Here are a few ways parents can help children assess risk:
• Talk it through: Ask, “What’s your plan?”, “How could you do that safely?” or “What’s your next step?” These questions should help children think critically and prepare.
• Model curiosity, not fear: Stay calm and positive, even when your instincts are shouting. You can always move closer or spot from a distance.
• Celebrate effort, not just achievement: Say, “You tried that really carefully” or “I noticed how you tested that first”, to reinforce thoughtful behaviour.
• Know your child: Every child has a different threshold for risk. Trust their instincts, but be there to encourage and, occasionally, challenge them.

What to say instead of “Be careful”
“Be careful” is vague and often ineffective. Try these alternatives:

• “Can you find a steady place for your feet?”

• “Use both hands.”

• “Take your time and notice what’s around you.”

• “What’s your plan if that wobbles?”

• “I’m right here if you need me.”

These phrases promote awareness, decision-making and reassurance without instilling fear.

Risky play in different environments: Safety tips
Outdoor environments offer rich, natural opportunities for risky play. Here’s how to support children’s exploration safely and confidently in a few common settings:

At the beach
• Water safety first: Teach children to respect the tide, watch the sea and stay within view. Watch for strong currents and always stay close when water is involved.
• Digging and climbing: Sand dunes and rock pools offer exciting climbing opportunities. Encourage kids to test ground firmness and wear shoes with grip.
• Sensory-rich play: Let children roll, bury, balance, and run. Sand is a great medium for physical and imaginative play, but remind children not to dig too deep or tunnel near unstable edges.

In the woods
• Tree climbing: Don’t lift children into trees to climb them – encourage them to understand their own abilities by climbing themselves. Encourage kids to “climb down as well as up”- if they can’t get down safely, they’re too high. Avoid trees with dead branches and teach children keep ‘three points of contact’ on the tree at all times (two hands, one foot/one hand, two feet)
• Sticks and stones: Playing with natural materials builds creativity and coordination. Teach children how to carry sticks safely (point down, away from faces).
• Rough ground: Roots, mud and slopes are ideal for balance and proprioception. Wear shoes with grip and support falls as learning moments rather than failures.

On climbing equipment or rocks
• Let them fall small: Risky play doesn’t mean no bumps or bruises, but small falls teach children to adapt and try again.
• Check surfaces: Sand, bark chips or grass under climbing equipment help cushion falls. Encourage safe jumping and always remind children to look before leaping.

Why it all matters
When we give children permission to play with risk, we do more than help them become physically stronger. We show them that we trust their judgment, believe in their resilience and honour their growing independence.

Let’s raise children who aren’t afraid to fall, try again and learn through doing. The outdoors is their natural training ground. So next time your child teeters on a tree limb or builds a fort from branches, take a breath and remember: this is childhood, exactly as it should be.

Bee in the Woods Kindergarten is a woodland preschool and community Forest School for three to seven year olds, based in Portslade and Stanmer Park in Brighton.
For more information www.beeinthewoods.co.uk

Jul 01
Love0
upside down selfie with kids

The benefits of an active holiday camp

By environment, fun for children, Holiday camps, Mental health, Wellbeing
by Emily Finch
Ultimate Activity Camps

The school holidays are a time for children to take a break from the school routine, have fun, relax and recharge but they can also be an opportunity for growth, adventure and to learn new skills. Holiday camps offer a fantastic alternative to boredom at home, long hours in front of the screens and finding fun and engaging childcare solutions for parents. Active holiday camps create the perfect environment for children to stay fit and build valuable life skills through physical activities, games and team challenges.

Active holiday camps are more than a way of burning off energy. They can support children’s mental wellbeing, help them make new friends, and even spark a lifelong love for the outdoors. Whether it’s boosting their confidence through new experiences or simply encouraging healthy habits, the benefits go far beyond the holiday itself.

Improved physical health
Activities like sports, swimming, hiking and obstacle courses help improve cardiovascular fitness, strength, flexibility and coordination. Regular physical activity can also boost the immune system and supports healthy growth and development. With a range of activities throughout the day to participate in, an active holiday camp will help children get moving and trying new activities can inspire a love and help exercise to become a regular occurrence.

Being on camp for a day, a week or the whole summer can help to create a lifestyle change. An active camp creates a fun atmosphere and where it’s normalised for children to be on the move. Enjoying themselves in this environment means it is likely children will want to carry it on outside of the camp, creating a new norm. By being outside and in the natural environment, whether that is whilst on a multi-activity camp, on school playing fields or a sports specific camp on astro turf or specialist surfaces or survival camps in the woods all these will help children appreciate the outdoors, fresh air and a gain a respect for nature.

Boosts mental wellbeing
Being outdoors and engaged in fun physical activities releases endorphins that help elevate mood and reduce stress and anxieties. The regular exercise children get in an active holiday camp can also boost their mood and improve their focus. Being active will also naturally tire a child out, meaning they will come home from camp and have a deeper and more restful night’s sleep, which will help improve their overall mood and wellbeing.

Active camps also help to develop children’s social skills. They are a great place to meet new people and make new friends. Many activities on an active camp involve an element of teamwork, bringing all kinds of children together to work towards a common goal. Children learn to communicate, co-operate, resolve conflicts and support one another – skills that are essential in all areas of life. The shared experiences create lasting memories and bonds.

Active camps also help build confidence and independence. Trying new activities with new friends and succeeding while being supported by new peers helps build confidence and self-esteem. Whether it’s on the football pitch or in the art room, being praised and supported by others leaves children with a sense of achievement. Being in a new environment without their parents, with unfamiliar faces and possibly unfamiliar surroundings, encourages children to step out of their comfort zone. They learn to adapt to new instructors/teachers and navigate new conversations and friendships on their own, giving them invaluable life lessons and skills.

Reduces screen time
Holiday camps, and active camps especially, can be a great way to pry digital devices from children’s hands. The limited screen time creates a great opportunity to reconnect with play, the outdoors and simple childhood fun! With all the activities on offer and action-packed timetables, children’s devices will be a distant memory. Reduced screen time increases focus, creativity and emotional regulation, on and off of camp.

Promotes learning through play
Many activity camps incorporate learning into the timetable, almost like sneaking extra vegetables into dinner by cutting it very fine! This can be through teamwork, creative thinking or STEM. Activities like team-based problem-solving games, treasure hunts and movement-based STEM challenges help children develop critical thinking, communication and collaboration skills. All while staying active, making learning feel exciting and rewarding. Whether they’re figuring out clues in a scavenger hunt or building a structure that can withstand movement, children are developing skills that will benefit them long after the camp day ends.

At Ultimate Activity Camps, children can enjoy a range of over 40 sports, games and craft activities each week, led by inspiring staff in superb facilities – running at 45 locations this summer! For further information about camps near you please visit www.ultimateactivity.co.uk

Mar 15
Love0
lonely sad boy

Thousands of lonely children turn to Childline for help and support

By Childcare and Nannying, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

In 2023/24 the NSPCC service delivered almost 5,000 counselling sessions related to the issue, both online and over the phone from one of their 13 bases around the country. Concerningly, loneliness was given as one of the main reasons for young people calling Childline about problems with their mental health.

Reasons children and young people have cited for feeling lonely in the last year include moving house or school and having to make new friends, their parents working long hours, being bullied by peers,and seeing their friends having fun on social media and feeling as though they are missing out.

One 16-year-old girl said to Childline: “I feel so lonely all the time, I end up crying and trying to sleep until the feeling goes away. I’ve tried to help myself, but nothing worked. I feel like I’ve been this way forever, I need this to change.”

The charity is revealing these figures to remind children and young people that they are not alone with Childline ready to provide help and support 24/7.

One girl aged 11, from Scotland, told Childline: “I feel so lonely at school, I only really have one friend. What’s harder though is I feel I can’t talk about how much it upsets me. My parents seem annoyed or judgemental when I try to talk about my feelings. Speaking to Childline feels like a weight has been lifted.”

To support young people who may be dealing with loneliness, the NSPCC also offers an online service called Building Connections.

This service, available to anyone up to the age of 19, matches young people with a trained befriender for 11 weeks who will help them to build their confidence and better manage their loneliness.

To refer a child to the online Building Connections service visit: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/services/building-connections?modularPage=make-a-referral

Advice for children who are struggling with their mental health and/or loneliness includes:
• Do things that feel positive: Try your best to take part in activities you enjoy, whether that’s playing a sport, listening to music, reading a book, or drawing. Small positive actions really can have a big impact on your mood.
• Take care of yourself: When you are struggling with difficult feelings, it is important to continue to prioritise your basic needs such as eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of your body can have a positive impact on your mental health.
• Try to find ways to socialise: Whether it’s joining a club, connecting with peers at school, or reaching out to a trusted friend, prioritising socialising can help to reduce feelings of loneliness
• Remember it is always OK to ask for help: Speak to a trusted adult, a teacher, a friend, or contact Childline. No matter what you’re feeling, you don’t have to go through it alone.
• Consider signing up to Building Connections: If you’re 19 or under and struggling with feelings of loneliness, consider signing up to the NSPCC’s online Building Connections service. This service will pair you with a trained befriender who will work with you to give you the tools to tackle loneliness.

Shaun Friel, Childline Director, said: “It’s heart-breaking to see so many young people turning to Childline because they feel lonely and isolated. We know how much of an impact loneliness can have on children’s mental health, often leaving them feeling hopeless and unseen. That’s why it’s vital that children know they don’t have to face these emotions alone. Childline is here for every young person, no matter what their situation. Whether they’re missing a friend, struggling with school holidays, or finding it difficult to talk to those around them, our counsellors are ready to listen and provide support.”

Tips for adults to help children and young people who may be experiencing loneliness include:
• Communicate openly: Encourage children to talk about their feelings and listen without judgement.
• Discover what’s causing the problem: Gently explore why they might be feeling this way and validate their emotions.
• Encourage socialising: Help children find opportunities to connect with peers through hobbies, clubs, or activities.
• Help them build their confidence: Celebrate their strengths and achievements and remind them of the positive relationships in their lives.
• Build a supportive environment: Loneliness isn’t something that can be resolved with one conversation. It is important to create an environment of openness where a child can talk to you about their feelings and any struggles they may be facing.

Childline is available for young people via the phone on 0800 1111 and online through the 121 chat on www.childline.org.uk/get-support/message-boards/

Jan 28
Love0
world

How to teach your children about the world around them – even when it’s doing its worst

By Early Years, environment, Forest School, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Katie Harrison
Founder of Picture News

As our children grow, they become more aware of the world around them. Some events are sensitive and divisive, with global news often being unavoidable – including for children. Stories can be encountered online, on newspaper front pages, or via chatter in the playground. But what if the news didn’t have to be something to try to shield children from? As parents and carers, we can responsibly share current affairs with children, to equip them with tools to develop and learn from the world around them.

Make news discussions age-appropriate
Consider children’s age and developmental stage when planning your news discussions. You may wish to use visual content, including images and videos, but remember to vet these before sharing with children. For younger children, simplifying news events into relatable concepts, like being kind or unkind, fair or unfair can be effective. For older children, divulging more information can be appropriate. Reactions and understanding of news stories will differ for all children, but be confident that you know them best as you gauge how much information to share. News conversations can work well in the morning, to give children plenty of time to digest what’s happened, then reflect and share any questions or worries with you during the day.

Consider your role and influence
Be sure to observe and regulate your own reactions, language and behaviour when discussing news with children. As parents, we know children can be impressionable, and therefore may detect and emulate any fear or hatred they observe around them. We can responsibly ensure children mirror positive behaviour when discussing current topics. Try to maintain a healthy environment that is considerate and respectful. Think carefully about the language you use and try to stick to the facts. Be clear if parts of the discussion are your own thoughts, and be honest with children if you are unsure on a response to a question – you don’t have to know all of the answers! Instead, navigate the news together as events occur.

Help children work through their emotional responses
News stories can prompt emotional reactions for all of us. Some stories can dominate headlines and social media feeds or directly affect children, so it’s important to let them have emotional outlets in response. Children may bottle up how they’re feeling about events unfolding in the world, so making time to talk in a safe, familiar space can be of benefit. Give children a variety of tools to communicate how they feel; they might prefer to talk, write, or use creative approaches. You could use visual aids, discussions, post-it notes, emotion cards, smiley faces or art. Exploring how a news story makes your children feel can be a genuine opportunity to explore their understanding of emotions – what it means to feel an emotion, how emotions can change over time and how they manifest differently for everyone.

Support children to develop empathy
Current affairs contain a spectrum of opinions and experiences, which help children learn that we all hold different perspectives to be respected. This can support children in forging connections between themselves and others; by exploring other people’s experiences depicted in the news, children can build empathy, consider others, and practise relating to people. Such an awareness is a useful tool to help children become well-rounded, thoughtful citizens, who care about others.

Look for the positives together
Nestled within sensitive topics tend to be positive stories that follow. During times of hardship reflected in the news, we can often find examples of communities pulling together in response, which ultimately show our children lessons of morality, citizenship, and unity. So if you’re unsure how to approach a sensitive news topic with children, try sharing stories about more uplifting, responsive events that emerge. This helps you address heavier issues through an accessible, less unsettling lens. There are many positive acts that follow turbulent events we can share with children.

Inspire children to use their voice
Headlines are full of people using their voice to make a change – and children can do the same. Take the time to empower children to know that an awareness of what’s happening in the world can help them speak up as active citizens. The news is happening now, and with your support and guidance, children can act on their ideas and opinions. Whether it’s helping their community or writing letters, children can be encouraged to believe in their own ability to create positive change locally, nationally, or even globally.

There are many important lessons within news events that can help children grow and develop. Sharing the news with the younger generation comes with responsibility, but with the right tools and guidance, children can learn valuable lessons of citizenship, empathy and morality, whilst discovering the world they live in.

Katie Harrison is a former teacher and founder of Picture News, a supplier of teacher resources for creating engaging and exciting lessons about current affairs so children can learn about the world around them. For further information please visit www.picture-news.co.uk

 

Jan 27
Love0
shouting around children

The last shout

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Paul Dix
specialist in children’s behaviour

How to parent without shouting and why it’s the one tip a parenting expert says will transform your children’s behaviour.

Amongst the chaos of everyday parenting shouting feels like a natural byproduct. It is often the shortcut to calling your children to dinner/chastising them for rudeness/stopping them murdering themselves. It feels intuitive, like the right thing to do, but if you want to revolutionise the way you manage your child’s behaviour the answer is counterintuitive.

A casual shout for attention from a distance can often be the spark for confrontation, “Sam, SAM, SAAAAAAAM”, “WHAT!, why are you shouting at me flipping heck” “How dare you! Did you just swear at me….” This is intensified in the mornings as we try to raise teenagers deep in sleep by repeatedly shouting them out of bed. It needs some patience and resolve from you as a parent but the first step to change is to stop the casual shouting. Get up and speak to each other, ring a bell for dinner, agree a routine for the morning that is calm and doesn’t involve screaming. The first change, annoyingly, has to come from you. Refuse to shout, lower the volume in your home, change the intensity of your demands.

Now address the way you deal with poor behaviour. Shouting as a punishment is not effective. It underlines the “NO”, but sends all sorts of messages that you don’t want your child to receive. A shouty adult is unpredictable, seemingly angry and the worst model for emotional control. Children see, children do. If you want your child to be emotionally regulated, you need to be too. It takes a little practise but it is possible to pause, step back and see your child’s behaviour for what it really is and not as a personal attack. I know that we are all emotionally invested but emotion is not a good teacher. When it comes to behaviour your child needs a calm, rational, regulated adult. It won’t take them long to learn.

Often a child learns to change their behaviour just so that the adult doesn’t shout. The game becomes how to be more sneaky more secretively. You can get away with anything until you provoke the bear. The focus is immediately on your behaviour and not theirs. The culture in your home changes. Children behaving one way when you are there and another when the bear is asleep/out/hungover. You want your child to behave brilliantly when you are not there. They need to be able to regulate without you. Shouty parents might get their temporary needs met but they don’t meet the needs of their child. Teaching behaviour can’t be an improvisation. It needs a plan.

Having rules and holding to the boundaries is essential. You can help your child to learn those boundaries and stay within them without roaring. Instead try establishing three simple rules. Try ‘Kind, Caring, Co-operative’, or ‘Ready, Respectful, Safe’ and refer to them each time you want to correct behaviour. Use these three pegs to focus yourself and your child. “It isn’t respectful to call your Granny, ‘bruv’, ‘Remember our safe rule when we cross the road”, “I need you to be co-operative, it is an important rule, put the cake down and cut a slice”. Make sure that each time you use one of the rules you back it up with “this is how we do it here”. Your home, your rules, your culture.

Now start noticing the good stuff about your child in amongst the chaos. Encourage the idea that they can behave brilliantly. You get more of the behaviour that you notice most. Notice the behaviours that you want to encourage and link them to the rules, “Thank you for doing that without being asked, I keep noticing how kind you are” or “I noticed you were ready on time this morning. Love that.” Aim for just three moments of positive noticing a day, even on the bad days. Your child is more than their current behaviour and they need to know that you know that. The more you positively notice the harder it is for negative labels to form. Despite lapses in behaviour your child spends most of their time behaving impeccably. Notice it, build on it, encourage your child to have the most positive labels.

The route to improving your child’s behaviour and your relationship has its foundations in calm, positive interactions focused around three simple rules as mentioned earlier. It is counterintuitive but it works. In the meantime, save your shouting for inanimate objects. Strangely it makes much more sense.

Paul Dix is a specialist in children’s behaviour and the author of When the Parents Change, Everything Changes: Seismic Shifts in Children’s Behaviour

 

 
Jan 27
Love0
bored child

“… But I’m soooooo bored.” Should boredom be part of your child’s daily routine?

By Education, family, fun for children, Mental health, play, Playing, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Laura Tristram
www.lumii.me

In today’s fast-paced society, boredom is typically viewed as something negative to be avoided. However, new research from the Child Mind Institute suggests that allowing children to experience boredom can actually be beneficial for both them and their parents.

Why is boredom seen negatively?
Parents, influenced by societal narratives, often perceive boredom as an unproductive and negative state. Being busy is often equated with success, leading to the belief that boredom signifies laziness. However, it’s time to rethink this notion, as boredom can play a significant role in children’s development and mental health. When children are bored, they are prompted to use their imagination and creativity to entertain themselves. This self-directed play fosters curiosity, helps them discover their interests, and enhances their innovative thinking. Research shows that engaging in monotonous tasks can boost creativity when later performing creative activities.

Overcoming challenges
Boredom teaches children resilience by encouraging them to persevere through challenges rather than becoming discouraged. This ability to persist is crucial for facing future obstacles and cultivating a proactive mindset. Dealing with the ‘problem’ of boredom enhances their problem-solving skills and self-reliance, fostering a sense of initiative and independence.

Social skills
Unstructured playtime allows children to interact with peers, developing essential social skills like negotiation, collaboration and communication. These skills are vital for forming relationships and working well with others. Successfully finding ways to entertain themselves boosts children’s confidence, helping them take risks and explore new things, thereby strengthening their self-esteem.

Positive wellbeing
Allowing children time to simply ‘be’ can significantly improve their mental health by reducing anxiety and stress. It gives them the opportunity to process their thoughts and emotions. Unstructured time helps children engage with their surroundings, often resulting in cherished memories and a happier childhood. Despite initial resistance, periods of boredom can lead to a more fulfilling and creative life.

Four easy ways to introduce more boredom
Parents can create opportunities for boredom by resisting the urge to overschedule their children. Here are four tips to help incorporate boredom into a child’s routine:
1. Set aside one day a week without structured activities
Encourage children to create their own activities on this ‘activity detox’ day, helping them explore their interests and creativity.
2. Provide simple toys
Offer materials like blocks, art supplies and household items to inspire creativity and free play.
3. Reduce screen time and encourage outdoor exploration
Take your child to open spaces and allow them to explore independently, fostering a sense of independence and creativity. Limit the use of electronic devices and encourage imaginative play instead.
4. Be a role model
Show how to embrace boredom by engaging in creative activities yourself and limiting your own screen time.

Experiencing boredom helps children develop crucial life skills such as resilience, problem-solving, and creativity, which are essential for their future success and wellbeing. Boredom also helps children build tolerance for less enjoyable experiences and encourages mindfulness, self-reflection and interpersonal communication skills.

It’s a valuable lesson for all: alongside your to-do list, create a ‘let’s be’ list. Make time to be mindfully present with those around you.

Amidst the rushing around, take a moment to walk and clear your head. These idle moments without a to-do list are important for mental clarity and happiness.

For both you and your child, embracing boredom can enhance resilience, creativity and productivity. Could embracing boredom be the antidote to burnout? By incorporating boredom into daily routines, you can help your child develop a happier, more balanced childhood.

So, the next time your child complains of being bored, resist the urge to immediately organise something for them. Instead, embrace the opportunity to foster their creativity, growth and wellbeing.

Laura Tristram is a teacher, mum and mental health and wellbeing lead. For more information please visit www.lumii.me

Nov 07
Love0
holistic education

A holistic approach to education

By Education, Girls school, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Rebecca Mudde
Prep School Head of Academic Mentoring and Thinking Skills at St Catherine’s Prep School, Bramley

In the world of education, the wellbeing of students is like the compass guiding their journey – a fundamental aspect that shapes not just academic success but the overall experience of learning and growing. Schools are not just places of learning; they are the foundation for building well-rounded individuals ready to face the challenges of life. Academic success should not come at the expense of a student’s overall wellbeing.

Schools are where children learn to socialise, make friends and deal with all the ups and downs of life. By focusing on their wellbeing, we are helping them build social skills, empathy and resilience. The result? Children who are not just academically able but also emotionally intelligent and ready to face the complexities of the real world.

By prioritising wellbeing, we are not just helping the students feel good about themselves; we are boosting their brainpower. A healthy mind does not memorise facts; it thinks creatively, critically and stays engaged in the learning process. In providing a positive school environment, we are not only improving outcomes but also instilling a genuine love for learning, making education a lifelong adventure.

Academic success is intrinsically linked to mental and emotional health, and as such it is important to implement innovative programmes to support the balance. Having a dedicated wellbeing space where students can visit and take time out of their day to relax and reflect is a beneficial resource.

A key too, in any school, is the pastoral team who play a pivotal role in shaping a school’s culture. Pastoral teams are not just mentors; they are champions of mental health, promoting positive wellbeing practices among not only the students but staff as well. Through workshops and awareness campaigns, the pastoral team can contribute to the creation of a supportive community where both students and staff feel valued.

By implementing programmes that address mental health openly, we are not just tackling stigma; we are providing a safety net for students to talk about their worries. We provide them with the support they need to help prevent bigger issues developing down the road by equipping them with the tools to cope with life’s challenges.

By placing happiness and mental health on the priority list, we are not just nurturing minds; we are setting the stage for futures filled with promise and balance. Happy minds lead to bright futures.

St Catherine’s Prep School extends a warm welcome to parents who would like to visit the school. Visit www.stcatherines.info to find out more about upcoming open mornings and arranging a visit.

Nov 06
Love0
performing

Unleashing potential – The transformative power of performing arts classes for children

By dance & Art, Exercise, fun for children, Music and singing, Playing, Theatre, Wellbeing
by The Pauline Quirke Academy of Performing Arts (PQA)

In an era where academic achievement often takes precedence over creative pursuits, the intrinsic value of performing arts in fostering holistic development in children is frequently overlooked. Performing arts classes – encompassing drama, dance, filmmaking and more – offer far more than an outlet for creativity. They are powerful tools that help children develop self-belief, resilience and a deeper understanding of their true selves.

 

Building self-belief
One of the most profound impacts of performing arts education is the enhancement of self-belief. In a performing arts class, children are encouraged to step out of their comfort zones, take risks and express themselves. This process is transformative, particularly for those who may struggle with self-confidence. Performing in front of peers, teachers and audiences requires a significant amount of courage. Each successful performance, no matter how small, reinforces a child’s belief in their abilities.

Children who participate in performing arts classes learn to trust in their capabilities, both individually and as part of a group. This self-belief often transcends the arts, spilling over into other areas of their lives. They become more willing to take on challenges, speak up in class and engage with their community, buoyed by the confidence gained through their artistic endeavours.

Cultivating resilience
Resilience, the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, is another crucial trait that performing arts classes help cultivate. The path to a polished performance is rarely smooth. It involves learning new skills, overcoming mistakes and handling constructive criticism – all of which are essential components of resilience.

For instance, a young actor might struggle to remember lines or grapple with stage fright. Through persistent practise and guidance, they learn to manage these challenges, gaining a sense of perseverance and tenacity. This resilience is not confined to the stage; children apply these coping mechanisms to academic pressures, social dynamics and personal setbacks. They learn that failure is not a dead-end but a stepping-stone to growth and improvement.

Discovering their true selves
Performing arts provide a unique platform for self-exploration and expression. Children often grapple with questions about their identity and place in the world. Engaging in the performing arts allows them to explore different facets of their personality in a safe and supportive environment.

Through role-play and character exploration, children can experiment with various aspects of themselves. A shy child might find confidence playing a bold character, or a typically reserved student might discover a passion for expressive movement through dance. These experiences enable children to uncover interests and talents they may not have recognised otherwise.

Moreover, the collaborative nature of the performing arts fosters a sense of belonging and community. Working together to create a performance teaches children about empathy, cooperation and the value of diverse perspectives. This sense of connection and mutual respect is integral to understanding and appreciating their own and others’ identities.

In a world that often prioritises measurable academic success over personal development, performing arts classes offer an invaluable counterbalance. They are not merely extracurricular activities but essential components of a well-rounded education. By helping children develop self-belief, resilience and a deeper understanding of their true selves, performing arts classes lay the foundation for confident, adaptable and empathetic adults.

The stage, the studio, and the rehearsal room are more than spaces for artistic expression; they are crucibles for character development and self-discovery, shaping children into the best versions of themselves.

PQA runs weekend performing arts academies across the UK. Young people (aged 6-18) spend 3 hours experiencing classes in comedy, drama, musical theatre and filmmaking. Children aged 4 and 5 explore the performing arts with their early years classes, Poppets. Try a full session for free at your local academy. www.pqacademy.com

Nov 03
Love0
toxic relationships

Toxic families

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Mental health, Relationships, Special support needs, Wellbeing
by Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna
psychotherapists and authors of “You’re Not the Problem”

There is no doubt that how we were parented informs and affects how we parent our children. That’s absolutely fine when we grew up in a happy, healthy, ‘good enough’ home, but what about when we grow up in unhealthy, toxic and abusive homes?

The first thing to know is that a lot of people don’t realise they grew up in toxic families, because not only do they think it’s normal, but they also think that if they didn’t like the way their parent treated them it’s because they’re the problem, not the parent. So understanding if you had healthy or toxic parents is the first step.

Signs you had a toxic parent are:
1. You weren’t allowed to say no to them without being shamed or punished.
2. You had to do everything their way because it was the right way.
3. They relied on you too heavily for emotional or practical support (parentification).
4. They use (and still use) guilt to make you do things you don’t want to.
5. You feel scared of them and obliged to do whatever they want –“I don’t have a choice, I have to.”
6. You are either hyper-dependent (people pleaser/codependent) or hyper-independent (don’t let anyone close, prefer to do everything alone, don’t ask for help).

This is not a diagnostic list, but if these sound familiar it might be worth looking up toxic or narcissistic parents.

If you’re aware you have toxic parents, you need to be aware of the common pitfalls that parents fall into when parenting their own children.

1. Taking their child’s no as personal rejection
When we grow up in narcissistic family systems, we inevitably develop a rejection wound, that coupled with the learned understanding that a child shouldn’t say no to their parent, it’s possible that someone could see their child’s rejection of them as a personal affront rather than the child just seeking autonomy and identity. Working on the rejection wound and realising that your child is safe enough to say no to you is an amazing thing, will help you boundary your feelings and stay in your parent role and allow your child to know they are safe to be who they are.

2. Swinging too far the other way
We call this the pendulum swing. When someone is so desperate to protect their child from ever experiencing a moment of what they felt in childhood they do the complete opposite. Unfortunately this can actually have a similar outcome because if a parent who experienced coldness and shaming and ignoring in childhood becomes too involved and hovering and micro managing their child, they can create a dependency in that child, instead of an independency. They also might unintentionally make the child responsible for their feelings by subconsciously letting the child know that mummy or daddy’s happiness depends on their happiness. This in turn can create anxiety and people pleasing in a child.

3. People pleasing your child
So often someone can be so scared of their child having emotions even a touch similar to their own feelings as a child that they will sit in fear of those emotions and try and prevent them at all costs. Especially when there is neurodivergence present and the resulting meltdowns are so hard to cope with. As a result they can end up people pleasing their child in order to prevent being faced with their anger, sadness or disappointment. This isn’t helpful for the child. Children have to learn how to regulate all feelings especially difficult ones, and what they learn through being people pleased out of them is that their emotions can control their parents behaviour (and therefore other people’s too) and/or those emotions aren’t acceptable and need to be hidden to keep their parent happy.

4. Being the parent they needed when they were a child
This is the number one mistake that parents from toxic families make. They become who they needed, essentially re-parenting themselves through their own child, which is not healthy. Your child doesn’t need the parent you needed, they’re not growing up in your environment, they’re growing up in a completely different environment, and are a completely different person. They need the parent they need. Make sure you’re not projecting onto your child a set of feelings and experiences that you had, and they may not be having at all.

When you grow up in a toxic family, there are lots of conditioned beliefs around what’s ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and it’s important to look at your family rules to understand these and choose what you do or don’t want to pass on consciously.

If you recognise yourself in any of these descriptions, first of all, try not to shame yourself. You didn’t know and it’s not your fault. Instead, it’s time to correct it by learning about it, and learning about yourself so you can be the parent you want to be, and your child needs you to be. Whilst we always suggest therapy is the best way to do this, knowing it’s not always accessible for everyone means that using other resources, such as books, podcasts, social media and any other form of learning will help you grow your knowledge, grieve your childhood, and build a better family life for your child and for you.

you're not the problemThe Sunday Times Bestseller “You’re Not the Problem” will help you recognise the language and behaviours of emotional abuse and narcissism in relationships, the immediate and long-term impact of it, practical strategies for healing and how to avoid repeating these behaviours. Buy “You’re Not The Problem” on Amazon and in all major book stores.

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