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adventurous play

Adventurous play

By environment, Exercise, Forest School, Green, Holiday camps, Mental health, Nature, Playing, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Dr John Allan
Head of Education at Inspiring Learning, Camp Beaumont

Adventurous play helps children adapt to the challenges of today and to face up to the demands of tomorrow

Learning new skills is fundamental to healthy, human development. Skills come in many forms – from physical movement to reading, writing and listening. Although we all recognise the power of acquiring knowledge, cultivating a child’s sense of purpose and passion must be equal to the importance we place upon their retention of information.

Nurturing an optimum blend of physical, social, cognitive and emotional literacy is most important in childhood. This is where brain growth is most prolific, and a toolkit of skill sets, such as self-awareness, creativity, trust and empathy can be fostered to help children to adapt to the challenges of today and to face up to the demands of tomorrow. We know that youngsters who score high on a combination of psychosocial skills at an early age report better adult outcomes in education, employment, and mental health.

The unpredictable and dynamic nature of adventure-based play makes it an ideal process for the cultivation of skills children require to thrive in an ever-changing world. Outdoor play combines the revitalising, mood-enhancing impact of nature with the adventurous uncertainty of youngsters interacting with each other in non-uniform playful settings without rules and restrictions. Here, children can enjoy exploring their emerging physical capabilities, take turns, co-operate and socialise; finding solutions to new problems in novel ways rather than just sticking to the tried and tested.

Adventure Education is about empowering children to take control of their own learning. This involves educators and parents being responsible without being over-protective so that youngsters are never allowed to wobble, trip, stumble or fall and as a result, miss out on the experience to know what it like to get back up again. Activities which offer some negative emotion, such as feeling unstable in the moment, counterbalanced by positive emotions such as joy, pride and attentiveness underpins a ‘steeling effect’. This helps to inoculate young people to handle more significant risks in the future.

This authentic, experiential approach of ‘learning by doing’ is the foremost guiding principle for facilitating adventurous play. This can take place in school grounds or within an out-of-school adventure camp setting, where a particular focus on specific skill sets can be achieved.

Constructing opportunities for children to be willing to take a path less travelled will make them resilient. Resilience is the learned ability of individuals to ‘bounce-back’ from adversity and ‘bounce-beyond’ their original position to face future testing circumstances with greater capacity. Resilience is recognised in school-based education as an effective policy for developing learners’ wellbeing and academic success.

Having the capacity to share positive resilient experiences with others also suggests resilience may be catching and may be a first step in helping it grow in others.

Resilience
At a time where children have faced unprecedented upheaval and threats to their wellbeing, it has never been more important to create daily opportunities for them to build their resilience. But how is resilience built through adventurous play which can positively impact other avenues of learning? The following ten tips, which collectively spell the word resilience, outline out-of-school camp practices which help build the adaptive capabilities of learners.

R – Rebound and re-invent
A child’s setback in camp can be framed as a lesson to learn and not a failure. This signifies that achievement comes because of stretching oneself by applying continued effort. This allows young people to self-correct and adjust their responses to produce gains from losses. As a result, learners will attribute their learning to themselves, and take pride in their achievements.

E – Energise
Playful experiences without obvious outcomes help to create a resilient ‘growth mindset’, where a fixed, perspective of ‘can’t do’ is replaced by flexible, task-focused ‘can-do’ persistence. This process is strengthened by camp facilitators stressing the importance of children taking small risks in new situations and not predicting negative outcomes.

S – Share
Adventure education often generates group situations that depend on social integration and collective responsibility. Such mutual reliance in testing circumstances necessitate that children balance their own needs with that of their groups.

I – Inquisitiveness
A combination of unfamiliar camp environments with unknown outcomes, provides an ideal breeding ground for children to set their imagination free and develop the fundamental skills of questioning how, what, who, when and why. This search for understanding may be further enhanced with less reliance on mobile technology which has been associated with youngsters vocalising and sharing less, limiting their questioning and failing to recognise the real-life implications of decision-making.

L – Life-enhancing
First-hand experiences combined with reflective practice consolidate children’s learning within and beyond camps. To promote lasting impact, camps should deliver activities with ‘transfer in mind’. Varied events which are responsive to enquiring minds and trigger emotions, such as laughter, incredulity and even mild apprehension, generate learning that can be recalled upon later using diaries, or creative writing.

I – Inclusion
Playful activities which provoke unwanted risk for one child may be seen as an opportunity for growth in another. Supporting learners to make personalised judgements of risk-taking based upon their perception of their abilities enables the growth of self-directed behaviour.

E – Environment
Just five minutes of exercise undertaken in an urban green space may be sufficient to boost a child’s physical and mental wellbeing. Therefore, a combination of active and restorative play in nature (like mindfulness exercises or forest bathing) meet health and wellbeing needs not able to be provided by similar activities (like traditional sports) and become even more powerful when deliberately designed for such purposes.

N – Natural
The authenticity of adventure-based play offers realistic consequences for success and failure. Allowing learners to own their responses to unfolding circumstances, helps them to see the bigger picture, take stock of facts and acknowledge others’ perspectives in becoming prepared for whatever challenges come along.

C – Control
Giving children choices and the autonomy to play and explore in a natural space is a primary mechanism through which they become freely acquainted with their environment, develop natural mapping skills and learn how to distinguish between themselves and others.

E – Emotional intelligence
The ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of others is a distinct feature of resilience learned through direct exposure to adventurous camp-based learning.

With over 44 years’ experience caring for children, Camp Beaumont run award-winning day camps in over 50 locations across London and the South-East for children aged between 3 and 14 years old. Book our multi-activity day programmes to ensure your child learns new skills, makes new friends and enjoys their most exciting school holiday yet. www.campbeaumont.co.uk

depleted mother syndrome

Depleted mother syndrome

By Mental health, Relationships, sleep
by Sally-Ann Makin
Potter’s Houses Nursery Settings and
Makin Connections – Family Consultancy

Depleted mother syndrome is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion experienced by mothers when the demands of motherhood exceed their ability to cope.

I had a very different idea in my head for this issue’s article, but last night I found myself feeling more than the hormonal emotions I usually feel once a month. The noise the children were making was really grating on me to the point where I desperately needed to get away from them – the screaming and shouting from a teenager playing interactive games and the loud wailing from my 11 year old playing on their computer (before you judge we had been out at football all morning and for a long dog walk in the afternoon), I’d heard “Mummy” 50,000 times mostly with absolutely nothing of any substance to follow. The house which had already been cleaned and tidied was a mess again, I was ‘touched out’ from my nine year old leaning on me for hours, my 12 year old constantly tapping me and my toddler needing to be picked up regularly. It was a Sunday evening and we all know the pressure of Sunday evening with the week ahead and the endless list of things to do looming.

As a side note, I was feeling overwhelmed after spending some time organising my fathers memorial and the sheer weight and realisation of what it was I was doing, and why, had completely floored me. I was tired from a rare evening out the night before and I was stressed because my work/life balance is balancing about as well as a rabbit and an elephant on a seesaw. Life is busy and chaotic and while I have made active decisions that create chaos, it can still be overwhelming with so very many plates to spin.

I was beginning to wonder what was making me feel so down and listless when I can usually cope fairly well and I tried to pinpoint why parenting suddenly felt so hard, when nothing major had happened. I had a really strong sense that I was just really rubbish at being a mum. I was certain other mums didn’t desperately want to escape from their children so much, other mums didn’t get irritable and short tempered with their children and other mums didn’t decide it was totally fine to not give the toddler a bath purely because he was going to scream and they didn’t have the energy for the battle. Washing needed folding and putting away, an online food shop needed doing and meals and packed lunches organised for the week.

It turns out mums can burn out too – we feel like we cannot and will not break because we are so heavily relied on by the rest of our family to function. Depleted mother syndrome can be felt by any mum at any time due to the high needs and emotional intensity of caring for a family with very little structured societal support for parents. We are over-extending ourselves and never really filling our cups back up because we either feel guilty and selfish or because we have no support network to lean on and often feel that we are the default parent.

Did you know that post partum fatigue can last for years? Your body is still recuperating even after all the midwife and health visitor support has subsided and your sleep is likely fragmented from waking with small children or just having an unreliable sleep schedule. And you might well be emotionally worn out. But just because millions of women do it every day and what you see on social media is that they’re all doing it and looking amazing, it doesn’t mean that what you’re feeling isn’t valid. You don’t need an event to validate feeling overstimulated, overwhelmed, exhausted, drained or listless – it’s normal and we’ve all been there!

Having a label on this feeling (depleted mother syndrome) has really helped me to be able to accept that what I am feeling is normal. It also helps me feel like less of a failure and that it’s OK to say that sometimes life just feels hard.

Take some time, ask for the help from people around you if you can – they don’t offer if they don’t mean it. Make a decision to not cook one night or skip bath time, remove the pressure of making sure the reading record is completed the recommended five times per week, choose to give the school raffle a swerve because trying to remember to get a prize on the way to school feels like one job too many. Sometimes you have to remove the expectation that you need to be perfect, have all your balls in the air and all your ducks in a row and realise you’re doing the absolute best you can – it might not be acknowledged by your family but it is noticed and it is valued. And you’re a queen!

Sally-Ann runs Makin Connections, Garden of Eden Preschool, Potters House Preschool and Blossom and Bloom Day Nursery. For more information please contact her at sallyann@makinconnections.co.uk or call 07939 620934

girls' ballet class

Studio to stage

By dance & Art, Exercise, fun for children, Mental health, Music and singing, play, Relationships, Sport, Wellbeing
by Lynda Forster
Dance Art Studio

Preparing to perform a dance on stage is a journey of commitment and dedication, bringing hours of practise to life, bringing sheer joy to the audience and an experience like no other for the dancer.

Lots of little girls and boys express an interest to start dance classes. They have no inhibitions, a natural sense of rhythm and love to dance ‘like no one is watching’ when they hear a tune. Many skip into their first class without ever looking back to their parents, whilst others, with the help of their teacher, need a few lessons to gently ease into it building their confidence with each lesson.

Dance classes have many benefits at all ages which can really help set children up for life. Children can be faced with lots of worries and upsets during their school life so having a hobby they love and a safe place to go is, at times, a huge relief.

For preschoolers a dance class will open up a whole new world – they will soon be able to isolate different parts of their bodies to move separately (a huge plus for co-ordination) and develop better overall concentration. Infant children will develop these skills in more depth, and will soon be able to raise their hand and be more involved in their school lessons because they’ve learnt participation within a dance class. Once assemblies and seasonal performances at school come round they’ll be happily volunteering for the lead parts!

At junior school, being a dancer will teach them to be physically and mentally stronger, gain more flexibility through their bodies and learn ‘time management’ to help manage academia and extra circular activities more easily which in turn will help with their all important and busy social life, with their school and dance friends – lots of parties to go to!

Starting senior school can be overwhelming for many children but most schools have a dance department where they can share their interests, make new friends and start showcasing their dance and creative skills in performances. Overall they will be confident, happier and more active teenagers. If their dance school has an exam option, they would have taken plenty of them since they were young, so again they will have learnt essential life skills; the purpose of working towards something to the best of their personal ability, revision skills, commitment skills and the experience of actually taking an exam, so hopefully the GCSE exam room will not feel as daunting.

Performing in their first dance show is where all the skills mentioned above unfold. They’ve had to work hard and wait patiently for their moment. Seeing the excitement build in the lead up to a dance school show makes all the months of hard work and effort by the teacher and the performers so worthwhile.

When practise starts for their first performance it is impossible for young children to visualise the finished piece and understand why repetition is so vital. By the time they reach dress rehearsal day, when it all comes together and the buzz is palpable, they completely understand and in fact start asking for more rehearsals so that they can work on their performance skills. At this stage they really understand it’s a team effort and they all become such close friends. Reassurance about having nerves is spoken about in a positive way by explaining about the fight or fight mode our bodies go into. It is a journey from start to finish, with them seeing how choreographers create their work from a starting point through to the finished piece. Their eyes are opened to new styles, techniques and interpretations to various music style. If the show has a theme, they have gained knowledge on the narrative and learnt how the whole production blends together.

The costumes are an extension of the dance and compliment choreography – after a couple of shows even the youngest dancers start to develop an eye for detail and will soon say if a costume isn’t quite looking right or needs an accessory added! It’s an opportunity for all the various ages to come together to inspire and support each other.

So many emotions are experienced during performance day, the excitement and happiness on their faces when they are waiting in the wings to go on stage is joyful. The nervous excitement transforms into electric energy and then the thrill of the applause which of course they love embracing!

Confident children leave the theatre feeling very proud of themselves and will hopefully remember the whole experience for many years. When they return to regular grade lessons they have a positive approach, more motivation and an understanding that you gain more from things by giving your best. A truly valuable life lesson.

Dance Art Studio is located in the Fiveways and Preston Park area of Brighton offering pre-school ballet and dance for 3-4 year olds and graded ballet, tap, modern theatre dance and street as well as boys only tap and jazz. Exams and performance opportunities. We also hold holiday workshops. www.danceartstudio.co.uk

kids and politics

Let’s get politics into primary schools

By girls school, Girls school, Mental health, Politics, Relationships

Burgess Hill Girls’ Head of Economics, Politics and Business, Dionne Flatman discusses the benefits of children learning about democracy and the workings of government as early as possible.

Not just for A Levels
For 35 years I have been a teacher of A Level Economics, Politics and Business, as well as PSHE (Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education), Citizenship and General Studies. Although my focus is on A Levels and therefore older students, I strongly believe that these subjects, especially Politics should play a broader role in the curriculum in both senior and primary schools.

Politics has a significant effect on students’ lives from the day that they are born until the day they die. I want students to understand and value democracy and free speech and empower them to be active citizens. I have spent my teaching career trying to debunk the myth that these are academic subjects for experts, rather than what lies at the heart of students’ lives.

My degree is in Politics, Philosophy and Economics, but I do not think that is how I learned to be political. I am interested in the moments that fire up young people to participate and engage. That could be the school putting on a production of ‘Made in Dagenham’ or students discovering that apartheid continued to the 1990s.

To fulfil my ambition to educate a larger number of students both within and outside of Burgess Hill Girls, I recently trained and qualified as a UK Parliament Teacher, learnings which I am in the process of passing on to younger students in our school and other local schools through various initiatives.

Making politics relevant to younger audiences
One of the key challenges in educating younger audiences about how democracy and UK parliament works, is making it relevant.

Some years ago, I participated in a pilot study which looked at holistic education rather than book learning. Many schools feel they have covered cross curricular themes once they have done a curriculum audit. I think it is important to introduce something fresh and new rather than sit back and say “yep, already doing that.” Developing learning through workshop and project-based activities has impact.

At Burgess Hill Girls, we have developed a number of initiatives to increase children’s engagement with politics. We ran a mock general election alongside the 2019 election and will do so again with the up-coming election. When I launched the mock election, I wanted to get the very youngest pupils involved so I ran a competition in the Prep school to design posters to encourage voting. It opened my eyes to the fact that you can never be too young to start learning about democracy and citizenship. For Year 8 students we run a Democracy Day, where students take part in a range of activities including an online ‘be an MP for a week’ game and designing posters which they then use to take part in a mock peaceful protest. For Year 10 students we run a speech writing workshop where they learn what makes a good and bad speech and then give them the chance to write their own, including creating an alliterative one liner.

Democracy Assembly for primary schools
One of our newest initiatives is a Democracy Assembly for younger audiences. We first ran this in our Prep School and are now taking it out to local Primary Schools like Southway Junior School in Burgess Hill. Given the ages of the audience it is important to make the assembly as interactive as possible. We do this by using videos, displays, roleplay with dressing up outfits and banners with key democracy terms for children to hold up. Because the children play an active role in the assembly, they learn much more as a result. Teachers have also said that the assembly has taught them an awful lot and that they feel more confident in their teaching as a result.

It is important for everyone in schools to feel confident about discussing UK democracy and politics. My aim is to encourage active citizenship and to demonstrate how young people can influence decision making. Becoming a UK Parliament Schools Ambassador has set me on the path to achieving this.

If you are interested in Dionne giving her democracy assembly at your primary school, please feel free to contact her via www.burgesshillgirls.com

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

outdoor learning

Screen time to green time – the positive benefits of outdoor play

By Digital, Early Years, environment, Family Farms, Forest School, fun for children, Green, Mental health, Nature, Playing, Summer
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Our very young children spend an increasing amount of time on screens and statistics suggest they typically spend less time outdoors than prisoners. In his book ‘Last Child in the Woods’, Richard Louv coins the concept of Nature Deficit Disorder and brings together research which indicates that reduced exposure to the outdoors is actually harmful to children. This can be mitigated by prioritising outdoor play which has a number of benefits for our preschoolers.

Physical health
Natural light and fresh air contribute to overall wellbeing, strong immune systems and healthy growth. Active outdoor play offers a wealth of opportunities for movement and exercise, promoting the development of co-ordination, fitness and motor development. It will also help children later down the line at school because cross crawl activities such as climbing or skipping get both sides of the brain working which helps mastery of bilateral tasks such as using a knife and fork, writing or using scissors. Furthermore, motor control develops from the core of the body outwards so sufficient upper body strength will be critical in developing manual dexterity.

Sensory development
The great outdoors is a sensory playground for stimulating children’s senses in ways that are just not the same indoors. From the feel of grass underfoot to the sound of birds chirping overhead, outdoor exploration engages all five outer senses, and the inner senses too, fostering development crucial for learning and perception. Children learn to observe, feel, smell, and listen, enhancing their understanding of the world around them and enriching their cognitive abilities.

Social skills
Outdoor play provides invaluable opportunities for children to interact with their peers in unstructured environments. Whether they’re building sandcastles at the beach, playing tag in the park, or working together to collect items on a nature scavenger hunt, outdoor activities encourage teamwork, communication, and co-operation. Through shared experiences and spontaneous play, children learn important social skills such as empathy, negotiation, and conflict resolution, laying the foundation for healthy relationships and social development.

Cognitive benefits
The outdoor environment is constantly changing and this supports learning and discovery through exploration, experimentation, and problem-solving. Whether it’s observing insects in the garden, identifying different plant species, or finding out what happens when you mix mud and water, outdoor play stimulates curiosity and creativity. Studies show that time spent in nature enhances cognitive function, improves attention span, and promotes mental wellbeing.

Appreciation for nature
Outdoor play fosters a sense of wonder and awe in children, and instils a deep appreciation for the natural world. Nurturing a connection to nature from an early age will teach children to understand cycles of growth and decay. Respecting and caring for the Earth and its plants, animals, and ecosystems will encourage them to embody principles of conservation and sustainability.

Whatever the weather, outdoor play will bring benefits all year round, and combat Nature Deficit Disorder. However, as the days are now starting to brighten and lengthen, there is no better time to get head out, soak up some Vitamin D and the other many benefits that only the great outdoors can offer.

Marsha Dann, lead teacher, Play B C Preschools. Play B C offers teacher-led provision, which prioritises relationships, sensitive interaction, and fun but challenging learning through developmentally appropriate activities for a wonderfully diverse cohort. More than just a place, at Play B C every day is a learning adventure. www.playbc.co.uk

 

sad child

It’s OK to cry – letting our children know they can feel sad

By family, Mental health, Relationships, Special support needs

We’ve all been there: your toddler’s sobbing because their strawberries are being served in a bowl rather than on a plate, or you’re playing in the park and they start crying over a tiny scratch. It’s natural to respond by saying, “Don’t cry, you’re OK.”

It’s a fact of life – babies and toddlers cry. The reasons they cry change as they get older, and so do our reactions. We tend to be more forgiving of infants (although a colicky baby can put anyone’s patience to the test), as we know that crying is one of their only ways to communicate.

Once children start to walk, talk, listen and follow simple directions, adults can become less accepting of crying. Parents naturally want to prepare their children for the world beyond home, and sometimes we react as though expressing negative emotions is a sign of weakness.

Crying can be a way of processing any strong emotion. Toddlers, of course, cry when they’re sad, but they might also cry when they encounter something new, confusing, unexpected, or difficult.

Here are some ways to help your toddler work through big feelings without telling them to stop crying:

Validate and empathise
A simple step is to just say “I can tell you’re upset” or “That looks really frustrating for you and I can see why.” It may help and it shows you care. At this age, your toddler is crying for a reason, even if it doesn’t make much sense to you.

Notice
Notice how you are feeling when your toddler starts crying. We may tell our toddlers to stop because we’re frustrated or out of time and patience. Watching our own reactions can be an instructive way to tap into our own empathy.

Listen
Finding the patience to listen to your toddler struggle to communicate with you in a difficult moment can be hard, but even with a limited vocabulary, they want to tell you about their feelings. Some of it may come in the form of words, some from body language and other cues.

Circle back
Your toddler is starting to remember more and more. A day after a tough episode, revisit it when your toddler’s in a calmer state by saying something like “Remember when you were so sad yesterday?”

For further information on child development issues please visit www.lovevery.co.uk/community/blog/child-development

playing outdoors

10 reasons the outdoors makes us happy

By environment, Forest School, Green, Health, Mental health, Nature

We love getting out in the great outdoors – there are so many places to explore like local parks, forests and beaches. We have put together 10 reasons the outdoors make us happy.

Here is why being outdoors is great for both you and your family.

1. It improves our mood
Being in nature reduces stress-related hormones and makes us happier and calmer. A morning walk (if you have time) or an evening stroll is always a great idea. Spending just 20 minutes outside every day will improve your wellbeing and make you feel more relaxed.

2. It improves focus
Taking a break and heading outdoors helps us restore our focus and makes us more productive. If you or your children are having a hard time focusing, going for a walk together will surely make you feel better and more productive.

3. It helps us exercise
A simple walk is a great exercise and you don’t need any equipment to enjoy it. Encouraging children to walk from the earliest age promotes healthy growth and also introduces them to the enjoyment of regular physical exercise.

4. It boosts our energy
Being outside is a great way to boost those energy levels. Running around in the open air will make the most sluggish days feel better but don’t worry, this effect will magically disappear by bedtime!

5. It keeps us away from the screen
We are all guilty, almost whatever the age, of spending too much time on our phones, aren’t we? Being outside is a great alternative to screen time. Plan a family outdoor adventure or simply go for a longer walk if you can.

6. It brings us closer together
Spending time outside together is a great way to bond as a family. Research suggests that families who spend more time outdoors together are happier and have better relationships.

7. New experiences
New smells, sounds and views always make children happy and can keep them inspired. Being outside helps build independence, freedom and their sense of discovery as they take leaps and test their abilities while learning about nature and its inhabitants.

8. It is healthy
Being outside is not only a great way to spend a day, but it is also healthy and essential to our wellbeing and happiness. Being active lowers the risk of obesity and other lifestyle diseases and boosts our immune system.

9. It boosts vitamin D
Vitamin D is important for our bones and immune system, especially during childhood and we get most of it from sunlight exposure from around late March or early April to the end of September. This is why being outside is not only enjoyable but also really important for our health. During the long winter months, sunlight doesn’t contain enough UVB radiation for our skin to be able to make vitamin D so it’s even more important to eat a varied diet to ensure we get vitamin D from food sources.

10. It improves our sleep
Spending more time outside and being active in nature can improve the quality of our sleep. When children are outdoors, they tend to move more and vigorous exercise helps them get a better night’s sleep. Natural light also helps reset our body clock and makes us feel more refreshed and rested in the morning, another great reason to take a morning walk with your little explorers.

For further information please visit www.muddypuddles.com

 

 

ok not to be OK

It’s OK not to be OK

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Mental health, Relationships
by Katie Gowers Watts
‘Diary of a Warent’ blogger

When maternity leave ends, returning to work is an emotional tug-of-war.

diary of a warentMining for diamonds
As maternity leave draws to a close, I find myself emotionally lost, once again. In so many ways I’m looking forward to the return of my professional self, excitedly daydreaming about super-stardom and frankly, ‘being a somebody’. But on the other hand, it hurts.

We’re all familiar with the autopilot words of independent women, the world over. “I’m so ready to get back to work” and “Bring on adult conversations at last”. As for me, my grit and determination shine brightly, but hidden in the shadows of my ambition, is an undeniable anxiety.

Parenting is like mining for diamonds. On average, you need to move 250 tons of earth to find a single carat of diamond. But when you do, you have something indestructibly beautiful. Raising children, through blood, sweat and tears, you’ll deal with 250 tons of sh*t (literal and metaphorical) but the beauty you unearth is like nothing else. It’s invaluable.

It’ll be over when it’s over
Firstly, when this ‘baby phase’ is over, I know I’ll miss it for all time. It’s why almost every parent in the history of parenting says, “They grow up too fast” and “Cherish every moment”.

Secondly, my husband and I are unlikely to have any more children. And so, when maternity leave ends this time around, it ends forever. I’ve been silently dreading it for months.

I doubt that we can ever have too many diamonds, but we can definitely run out of energy and time for another 250 ton dig.

Run for it
Thirdly, whilst I have thankfully rediscovered my sense of self (which can elude you for a while after having a baby), I’m worried that other people’s perceptions of me may have changed. Like ‘buggering off to have a baby’ makes me seem professionally incompetent.

In the early years of senior school, I was roped into running the 800m race on sports day and you had better believe I wanted to win. On the day, with my friends and school-house cheering me on from the sidelines, I ran like the wind – until the last 100m. I realised that my friends, my confidence in human form, were together, united in the crowd – and I was out on the track, all alone. I felt exposed and vulnerable. I buckled and deliberately dropped from 1st to 4th place, afraid to take the podium alone.

Almost 30 years later, going back to work carries a similar irrationality. I want to win, so badly! But my team, my confidence in human form, is now the family I have created at home. And I find myself back at the start line, feeling exposed and vulnerable once again.

Warenting is a competitive sport
Put your hand up if you’ve ever encountered one of those delightful people who brag about giving birth ‘naturally’, probably without pain relief, in a bid to out-birth others? To ‘win’ at giving birth. A fine example of how unanimously irritating one-upmanship can be. Let’s keep it real – if you have given birth, then your body either (painfully) contracted and stretched in ways that don’t seem humanly possible, was (painfully) torn apart from the inside out, or was (painfully) sliced open and stitched back together again. As my midwife once told me, “There is no easy way to get a baby out”. So, however you did it, ‘fist bump’ to you.

Dads, you are credited with 0.011% of the workload. Thanks for your help. (little in-joke there for my husband!)

Warenting is a competitive sport. I have known plenty of women throughout the course of my career, who proudly flaunt the brevity of their maternity leave. They wear it like a medal of honour. “Oh, I only took (*insert short amount of time) off work. I couldn’t wait to get back to the grind” and, “I was responding to work emails from my hospital bed, like 10 seconds after giving birth”. If that’s you, then good for you, I get it. But it’s not me.

Emotional dumbbells
Why do we view physical pain as strength, yet emotional pain as weakness? Since our struggles are such a heavy weight to bear, perhaps we could think of them as emotional dumbbells. The more we lift, the stronger we become.

So, yes I want a badass career, but no, I don’t want to leave my kids. Yes, I want professional success in abundance, but no, I don’t want to sacrifice meaningful parenting moments. Yes, I want to stretch my maternity leave for a while longer, but no, I haven’t lost my ambition.

What I want to say, to shout even, is, “I don’t want to be at work instead of being with my baby. But also, I do want to be at work, absolutely bossing it”.

It’s OK not to be OK
Some of us are wrongly programmed to feel as though admission of our struggles is an admission of guilt. Like it’s telling people we’re not strong enough, not good enough. And as we all know, there’s only one solution…

I’ve turned it off and back on again, and instead of pretending that I don’t give a hoot about something I find painful at times, I’m acknowledging it.

Because as a mother, it is my right to feel this way. And it’ll be OK. Because it’s OK not to be OK.

You can read the full version of It’s OK not to be OK’ and additional ‘warenting’ blogs

written by Katie, at www.diaryofawarent.com

Young boy in field

The Great Outdoors

By Education, environment, Forest School, fun for children, Green, Mental health, Nature
by Chris Gunn
Headmaster, Sompting Abbotts Preparatory School

At a time when children’s wellbeing is seemingly so constantly under attack, it has never been so important to seek the advantages of ‘The Great Outdoors’! Some of my fondest memories are of adventuring, exploring, and challenging myself in nature – I was never happier than when climbing trees, playing hide-and-seek with friends, soaking up picturesque views or exercising. I vividly remember the sense of accomplishment, motivation, and sheer joy at these times. I can still recall the slip and slide of mud and grass underfoot of past games of football, and feel the warmth of the sun on my back during picnics with family and friends.

In an ever-changing world burdened with social pressures and geo-political issues, the outdoors is a solace. A peaceful calm. It is both an outlet for anxiety and stress as well as one of the greatest resources we have access to for maintaining our positive mental wellbeing. We teach children strategies to improve their mental wellbeing, strategies which children can access and employ to cope with the many challenges and changes they will meet throughout their lives. In my opinion, visiting ‘The Great Outdoors’ is the most effective way to improve mental wellbeing, bar none. It is essential that we provide our children with plentiful opportunities to learn outside of the classroom so that they too have access to this wonderful, naturally healing resource.

I was reminded of the impact of the outdoors recently after a busy exam week. A group of children spent their Friday Activities playing a giant game of ‘capture the flag’ and team ‘hide-and-seek’. For many, the anxiety which the week had induced seemed to be lost and forgotten about in a heartbeat. The excitement of charging into space, to find a quiet spot out of view and the eyes of the opposing team; the anticipation of whether they would be found by a determined seeker; the sprint back to ‘base’ after the time was up. Children were children again. Laughing, panting, smiling. A sense of freedom and enthusiasm. A sense of relief.

The benefits of outdoor activities, such as orienteering, shelter-building, scavenger hunts, and wood whittling on children are unquantifiable. Not only do such activities teach valuable life-skills but they also highlight personal qualities and characteristics, which in turn will lead to better understanding of self and a greater likelihood of successes in the future. Direct links can clearly be drawn between those days outdoors, the skills we learn, and the people we become.

Resilience. Resilience to climb that tree a little higher, or to remain calm when getting back down again. Aspiration. Pushing for a personal best when running a race or vying for the win in a team sport. Self-esteem. To be successful when trying something new, or when involved in informal competition, can make such a difference to a pupil’s self-worth. Courage. Courage to explore, to try new things, or to stand up for and to protect the environment. To know and understand their own physical capabilities and boundaries and to push these a little further each time. Respect. Respect for the habitats, keeping ‘The Great Outdoors’ clean and tidy. Not having to be prompted to pick up a crisp packet, or litter. To protect wildlife and ecosystems, so that plants and animals can thrive. Compassion. Compassion for those who share the space. Wildlife, people, our opponents in sport. Integrity. Having a strong moral grounding of what needs to be done by the Government and local authorities to keep our green spaces and the planet happy and healthy. To compete within the rules of the game. It is these characteristics, that make a young person stand out from the crowd, that will enable them to inspire others.

It is only when outside regularly – walking, exercising, taking the dog out – you see the impact of the change of seasons. The leaves changing colour in the autumn, the first frost, the horse chestnuts, the birds flying south, the leaves beginning to fall. For children to experience first-hand the change in the seasons, to appreciate how fragile life is and get a sense of what they can do to help support the environment, is again of the upmost importance. Children will inevitably hear comments such as “The daffodils are coming up earlier this year” or “It hasn’t snowed for years,” but seeing it, investigating it, monitoring and testing it, enables children to see the impact of a change in our climate. It gives them a real understanding of the effects of greenhouse gases and why changes in our individual habits as well as large-scale changes in industry shape the way we live on and work with our planet Earth. The next generation of scientists, inspired by the outdoors.

I am fortunate enough to have two happy and healthy young sons. I have tried to refrain from using the term ‘outdoorsy’ however they love nothing more than to explore nature. Climb trees; splash in muddy puddles with their wellies on; have fun at the local rugby club. The fondest memories that they make are not whilst sitting in front of a tablet screen. They are out there – wherever that ‘out there’ might be. They are made through a sense of adventure, exploration and getting out into the fresh air. Stopping, standing, listening. That is the greatest ‘soul food’ of all.

Sompting Abbotts is a West Sussex preparatory school near Worthing for girls and boys aged 2 – 13. Tel: 01903 235960.

To find out more about what Sompting Abbotts can offer you, or to arrange a personal visit at any time of the school year, please visit www.somptingabbotts.com

happy children in forest

The power of a small prep school Embracing the ‘try everything’ philosophy

By Education, environment, Forest School, fun for children, Green, Mental health, Nature, Primary school, Relationships
by Charlotte Moore
St Christopher’s Prep

In a world where education is often evaluated by standardised testing and one-size-fits-all metrics, nestled in the heart of a vibrant community, small preparatory schools are quiet powerhouses that have a unique charm. They offer a distinct advantage over larger educational institutions, such as smaller class sizes, a strong sense of community, and individualised attention from teachers. They punch well above their weight through a compelling philosophy that sets them apart – the ‘try everything’ approach to learning.

This philosophy encourages pupils to engage in a wide range of experiences, regardless of their interests or perceived talents. This inclusive model is particularly feasible in small prep schools, where the environment is often more adaptable and personalised than in larger institutions. The imperative of a ‘try everything’ philosophy is not just to expose pupils, but to embed a spirit of curiosity and cross-disciplinary agility.

The encouragement to engage with various subjects and extra curricular activities reflects a deeper understanding of the education process – it’s through experience and reflection that genuine learning takes place. Pupils are taught to value the journey of learning, to embrace failures as learning opportunities, and to develop a growth mindset that views challenges as stepping stones to mastery.

Pupils are invited to dip their toes into a variety of subjects and extra curricular activities – from arts to sciences, sports to technology – and discover passions they may not have known they had. They might find themselves coding a robot in one class, sewing a blanket in another and rehearsing a Shakespearean play in the next.

The key to this method is the idea that true learning comes from exploration and experimentation, which isn’t always found in textbooks. In a rapidly changing world, it is ever more important to be adaptable and have a broad skill set as well as specialised knowledge. From teamwork and leadership in sports, critical thinking in debate clubs, to innovation in STEM projects, pupils become well-equipped for future challenges. Such an education cultivates adaptive individuals who can thrive in the dynamic environments of higher education and the professional world.

Small class sizes of typical prep schools allow for highly individualised attention. Teachers are really able to nurture the curiosity of each pupil, encouraging them to take risks in a safe and supportive environment. Not only does this foster a love of learning, but it also helps to build resilience and confidence, both of which are qualities that are essential in both personal and professional lives.

A small prep school often has a much closer-knit community which provides more leadership opportunities. With fewer pupils to compete with for positions on school councils, drama productions, or as school prefects or team captains, pupils are able to step up and lead in more areas. This close-knit environment fosters a greater sense of responsibility and community engagement.

Small prep schools are able to promote an inclusive culture where hobbies and abilities are not dictated by societal expectations but by personal exploration and growth.

By encouraging all pupils to get involved, and try everything, teachers are creating opportunities for collaboration. It also helps break down barriers and fears. Those pupils who may have been reluctant to join a robotics club or a sewing club, for fear of not fitting in, may discover a love for engineering or garment making. Not everyone is naturally gifted at academics or sports but by being encouraged to join in, those who may have thought they were not great, may still find joy in doing it.

Subjects can often be compartmentalised but this ‘try everything’ approach supports a cross-disciplinary learning. Pupils applying their historical knowledge in English discussions or their artistic sensibilities in science projects shows a holistic educational approach that small prep schools champion.

Smaller class sizes and a more diverse lesson curriculum helps broaden the horizons of pupils so they become more rounded human beings when they progress to their senior school. These people are prepared to not just navigate the world but shape it into something better. A smaller school can be an incubator for future leaders. With the access to teachers and the excellent resources and opportunities the pupils have, these schools help ignite curiosity and arm the pupils themselves with the tools needed to build a fulfilling life. Alumni of small prep schools often attribute their success to the versatility and adaptability that was nurtured in their early education.

The ‘try everything’ philosophy at a small prep school is a powerful tool for education and is not something to be missed. It champions the idea that pupils should be encouraged to embrace a multitude of experiences, helping to shape them into adaptable, curious and innovative thinkers. In schools like these, the power of learning is limitless, and the outcomes are as diverse as the opportunities that they provide.

St Christopher’s Prep is an outstanding independent co-ed prep school. Please call 01273 735404 to discover how we could be the perfect match for your child’s educational start.
www.stchristophershove.org.uk