Education Archives - Page 16 of 24

Apr 11

Talent spotting in schools

By Iain Boyle Education, fun for children, Music and singing, Playing

Talent spotting in schools
The difference between scholarships and bursaries

More attention than ever before is being devoted to the significant levels of financial support provided by independent schools, to assist aspirational families on lower incomes. According to the Independent Schools Council’s 2019 census, 34% of pupils educated at independent schools currently receive help with their fees, at a cost of £1bn. The majority of this is provided directly from the schools themselves.

Fee assistance comes in many different shapes and sizes and, as a result, the world of scholarships and bursaries can seem like a minefield to those embarking on the journey for the first time. What can make things even trickier, is that different schools give different names to their individual types of fee assistance. One school might offer a ‘scholarship’ worth 10%, whereas at its neighbour down the road, it might be 50%. It is therefore important to know how to navigate the world of scholarships and bursaries and to establish the difference between them.

At the majority of schools, scholarships will refer to a portion of money off school fees and they will be awarded on merit – the result of a child being an excellent academic all-rounder or brilliant at, for example, art, drama, music, sport, or design technology. They usually (although not always) come with some form of percentage discount on the cost of a child’s overall fees.

Bursaries, on the other hand, are usually hosted by charitable foundations within independent schools and tend to be means-tested places that are offered to an outstanding pupil from a family on a very low income who would never be able to consider providing their child with a private education without the support of a bursary. In most cases, this level of assistance gives life-changing access to talented students who would otherwise never benefit from an independent school education and all that it offers. Being independent, these schools have been able to keep the torch alight for vital areas of the wider curriculum – such as music, the arts, competitive team sports, modern and classical languages – that have so often had to be marginalised in their state counterparts.

The landscape has changed significantly in recent years and it is now more usual for scholarships and awards to attract a very modest reduction in school fees, with larger fee remissions being offered through means-tested bursaries. In the very early stages it is important to establish the detail of the criteria for entry, the maximum scholarship or bursary that a school is prepared to award, and the process that you and your child will need to go through to secure either a scholarship or bursary.

A typical scholarship process could look like this:
• Initial enquiry received by School Registrar who discusses scholarship criteria, any specific examination requirements, for example.
• Families interested in pursuing an application are sent appropriate forms for completion.
• Parents submit completed forms, with child’s most recent school report and reference from current school.
• Application considered and, if successful, child invited for interview.
• Child puts together a portfolio demonstrating their abilities and wider interest in the area for which they are applying for a scholarship.
• Child visits the school with portfolio, is interviewed by the Head, attends interview with the Head of Department and demonstrates their talents, undergoes academic tests, as appropriate.
• Once all applicants are interviewed, candidates are considered by the Head and Heads of Department.
• Scholarships offered according to merit and number available.

While the process for securing a bursary might look like this:
• Initial enquiry received by the School’s Registrar, who discusses the application process and criteria applied.
• Families interested in pursuing their application are sent an ‘Application and Means-Testing Financial’ form for completion.
• The family completes and returns the form with the child’s most recent school report.
• The child’s potential is assessed ‘on paper’ by the Head.
• The family’s financial circumstances are then assessed by the School’s Bursar or an independent financial assessment company.
• If successful, the child’s parents or guardians are interviewed by the Head.
• If successful, the child attends an ‘experience day’ at the school, is interviewed by the Head, is academically assessed and is given the opportunity to demonstrate their particular talents to relevant Heads of Department (maybe art, drama, DT, music or sport).
• If successful, the family might be visited at home.
• If successful, the Head might put forward short-listed candidates with recommendations for consideration by, and confirmation from, Charity Board.
• Foundation Scholarship places offered, as appropriate.

Probably the most important thing for any parent or guardian interested in applying for a scholarship or bursary for their child or charge to remember, is that they should not worry about approaching their school of choice and openly discussing the opportunities available. There is no such thing as ‘saying the wrong thing’ and it may well be that their child is exactly the kind of student that a school is looking for. The important thing to realise is that the schools are as keen to support talented children with bursaries and scholarships – provided
they match their criteria – as parents or guardians are to secure them.

Christian Heinrich is Headmaster at Cumnor House Sussex in Danehill. He set up The Cumnor Foundation which offers 2 means-tested bursaries each year that cover the entire cost of a talented child’s education for ten years from the age of 8 to 18, in collaboration with sixteen independent senior school partners. www.cumnor.co.uk/cumnor-community/the-cumnor-foundation/
For further information please contact Cecilia Desmond, Registrar at Cumnor House Sussex on 01825 792006 or email registrar@cumnor.co.uk. www.cumnor.co.uk

Apr 10

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How children communicate

By Iain Boyle Education, Uncategorized

by Justine van de Weg
The Arts College, Worthing

Do you find you become irritated at times when your child will not listen to you? Some days you may feel like ripping your hair out in frustration! When you understand how children think, it can sometimes give you a clearer perspective.

Children are developing their brains, fine motor muscles in their hands, co-ordination, speech and walking on a daily basis. It can be easy to assume that when a child can put a sentence together they know or understand how situations, conversations or emotions work. As an adult, this is second nature. However, think about when you, as an adult, start a job for the first time. Could you fully operate the office, know where all the paper work is, how to answer the phone, who to speak to, where to find materials or resources? Think back to the time you learnt how to drive. You had to learn how the gears, accelerator, steering wheel and rear view mirror work together as a team.

The communication processes that are constantly developing within a child are the sensory senses. Sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. When children are trying to communicate they will communicate through senses and exploring. Putting it simply – children use less words. When you grow up and become an adult, your senses are second nature and not much thought is given to the development of your senses. As an adult, you rely more on logical thinking, words, actions and, of course, assumptions based on what you have learnt from the adults who surrounded you when you were growing up. Putting it simply – adults use more words.

When adults and children become frustrated with one another, it’s because one is communicating with too many words, and the other (mostly the child) is trying to understand the words, but cannot because they don’t relate to their senses and understanding. Their processing is through senses. When you ask children how they feel, although they can speak, they cannot always say how they feel, or why they feel irritable or angry. This is because they need support and guidance from the adult to communicate through their senses.

Tips to help:
1 Communicate through pictures. Instead of asking children how they feel, ask them to point to a face that has an expression. You can draw various faces ranging from smiling to angry. Number the faces up to 10 so that you know the extent of irritation or anger.

2 Have activities around that can help children release anger – for example: a punching bag, trampoline, swinging tennis ball or a ‘screaming pillow’.

Giving a child an activity with the expectation of them just doing it will not always work. They are still learning and the only way they learn is by watching their parents and the adults surrounding them.

When your child is working through the activity, it is important to ask them if they want you near them or they want you to leave them alone. With some activities they may just want you to stand there whilst they hit the ball, or jump on the trampoline.

3 Sensory activity suggestions include breathing exercises, chopping up strips of hard food like carrots and getting children chewing on them or having relaxing and calming oil smells in the house.

4 EFT – this is an emotional freedom technique. Tapping on certain acupressure points on the body stimulates the effect as if attending an acupuncture session, only without the needles. Great EFT points which I always use with children are the point on the chest, just below the collar bone closest to the shoulder, and the side of the hand .When parents are willing to do this activity with their children, the children will follow their lead.

Apr 10

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Achieving – what’s it really about?

By Iain Boyle Education

Saturday, 16th November 2019. There were two articles in newspapers about one of the world’s top cricketers, Ben Stokes. One was in The Times newspaper. The other was in The Guardian. It’s interesting that each focused on different aspects of what makes him successful. I’ll take each article in turn.

Intelligence matters
Michael Atherton (a former England captain) commented in the Times: “Observers often confuse academic intelligence – GCSEs, A-levels, university degrees, and the like – with cricketing intelligence, but the two are distinct. You can have both, of course, but one does not automatically confer the other. Stokes told me he has one GCSE (in PE), but he is among the most intelligent cricketers I have come across”.

Atherton makes a perceptive point – and given his wide experience in cricket it’s significant. In common with many people who are successful, they often come with a poor academic record, which is not correlated with the kind of intelligence they need to achieve in their chosen area of work. It’s common amongst sportspeople that many have had quite poor school records, yet show a great intelligence in their own sport. I can also say, in my experience of almost 50 years in consulting with entrepreneurs, that the majority have had poor school records, but show a great deal of intelligence in their own area of work. They are smart, savvy people whose success has no relation to educational performance.

We know that crude notions of one kind of intelligence that somehow sums up the person are faulty. A number of writers have shown that it makes more sense to think of different kinds of intelligence. For instance, to take one example, our President, Professor Rose Luckin, has commented, in relation to Artificial Intelligence (a field in which she is a world-renowned expert) that there are a wide range of other intelligences that humans possess which Artificial Intelligence does not, and cannot, replace. One key example is that of the notion of social intelligence and of working with others in achieving results.

Emotional maturity matters
The second article from The Guardian newspaper by Donald McRae is subtitled ‘Fear is natural – just embrace it’ (a comment from Ben Stokes). This article was much more focused on emotional and feeling issues and how crucial they are in being successful in a whole range of activities, but especially sport. Stokes commented that he’d been to see the team psychologist and opened up about feeling nervous before a crucial England match. The psychologist suggested he share the fears with the squad. McRae comments: “Rather than adopt the line about being ready for battle he told his teammates: “I am nervous, I am anxious, I am worrying about what happens if we don’t win. Believe me, I am worried.” In showing his apprehension Stokes was able to normalise these emotions. For everyone else.”

Later in the interview Stokes comments on sharing worries with a fellow batsman and says that the latter’s success after that conversation was, as he put it, “no coincidence that it followed, letting out those emotions to someone”. He goes on to comment about embracing the fact that fear is natural and how he has dealt with that.

Dealing with emotions is not just something that sportspeople have to attend to. Many senior business leaders that I have worked with have had to deal with strong feelings and the extent to which they have shown maturity in this has linked to their effectiveness in fulfilling their role.

In school, in general, the ability to develop emotional maturity is neglected and not even seen as relevant in the context of a curriculum based on fact learning and exam passing. We know that emotional wellbeing developed during teenage years, especially, but also in early adulthood, is a better predictor of future life satisfaction than, for instance, exam grades. Research on this is impeccable and conclusive from a number of studies – yet such factors are neglected in British schools.

Our students in SML College do take exams and get similar grades to their school colleagues. What is most reassuring, for instance, when visitors come round, is their delight at the emotional maturity and social ability shown by our students. Independent research has shown that ex-students value these qualities as they pursue their differing careers.

Dr Ian Cunningham is Chair of Governors, SML College www.smlcollege.org.uk 01273 987629 ian@smlcollege.org.uk

Apr 08

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Art saves lives

By Iain Boyle dance & Art, Education, family, fun for children, Mental health, Music and singing, Playing, reading, Relationships, Theatre

by Eleanor Costello
Brighton Dome and Brighton Festival

Young people face new challenges every day. From navigating the complexities of an ever-changing Internet culture to fighting for their future in an era of climate crisis. Art provides opportunities for everyone to make sense of the world, to test our boundaries and let our imagination thrive. Children benefit from having the opportunity to read books, go to theatre shows and to make their own art.

The acclaimed poet and Brighton Festival 2020 Guest Director, Lemn Sissay said; “Art saves lives, it literally saves lives. Art is how we translate the human spirit. That’s why you have art and religions. That’s why people sing. That’s why we read poems at funerals and weddings, we need some bridge between the spiritual, the physical, the past, the present, the future.”

Through events like Brighton Festival, young people can explore, discover and participate in the arts. For 30 years the Children’s Parade has officially marked the start of Brighton Festival, with over 5,000 participants, including 3,473 school children, stepping into show stopping costumes they have designed and made themselves. Around 10,000 people come along to see the parade and be part of the largest annual children’s event in the UK. The parade is a unique event produced by community arts organisation, Same Sky, which offers thousands of young people the chance to come together in creations they’ve designed around a central theme, giving them a sense of belonging. In 2020, the Children’s Parade theme is Nature’s Marvels, offering a platform for participants to think more about the world and environment around them.

Stories fire the imagination, invite us to empathise with and understand others, give children the creativity needed to face the world and even the tools to change it. Young City Reads is an annual Brighton Festival and Collected Works CIC reading project. A book is selected for primary school children in Brighton & Hove, Sussex and beyond to read and discuss, culminating in a final event with the book’s author at the Festival in May. In 2019, over 3,000 pupils took part in free weekly activities. For 2020, the chosen book is Malamander by Thomas Taylor, featuring a daring duo Herbert Lemon and Violet Parma who team up to solve the mystery of a legendary sea-monster. This is a chance for schools across the county to foster a love of reading in young people and give support to teaching staff to think outside the box with their curriculum.

Hilary Cooke, Brighton Festival Children’s Literature Producer says; “Children’s book events are an opportunity to turn the private activity of reading into a shared experience. Being in a room with a new (or favourite) author and a group of young readers is quite magical, with laughter, imagination and surprise. Illustrators drawing live on stage create another layer of creativity that is beautiful to watch (and possibly my favourite thing).” Due East, Hangleton and Knoll Project and the community steering committees enable local residents to make their vision come to life in Our Place, a Brighton Festival event that has been running for three years. Pop up performances take place across Hangleton and East Brighton with a community event in each area. Seeing arts and culture being celebrated and given a platform in their own neighbourhood opens the door for young people to think differently about the places they live in.

Brighton Festival offers opportunities for young people in Brighton and beyond to experience groundbreaking, original and spectacular performances by international artists. Australian company, Gravity & Other Myths bring a new jaw-dropping circus show bound to blow the minds of aspiring acrobats, Drag Queen Story Time gives children the opportunity to be who they want to be with a LGBTQ friendly storytelling, and hilarious theatre show Slime allows two to five year olds to squish and squelch their way through a tale about a slug and caterpillar.

May is a time of spectacular celebration across the county, with Brighton Fringe, The Great Escape, Artist Open Studios and Charleston Festival in addition to Brighton Festival’s jam-packed programme.

Supporting the next generation of art-goers is integral to Brighton Festival’s spirit and this year’s programme aims to bring a variety of events for children and young people – from infants to Instagrammers. Children of all ages can discover, create and participate in the arts, giving them unexpected and enriching experiences that can be shared with their friends or family. Many events are free, others starting as low as £5 and there are often family offers so the whole clan can come along.

Head to www.brightonfestival.org today to find out what’s happening at Brighton Festival from 2nd to 24th May 2020.

Jan 11

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The winter staycation

By Iain Boyle Education, environment, family, Family Farms, fun for children, Party, Playing

If it’s not possible to escape the colder months here in the UK and jet off to sunnier climes this year, then we might all just need to be a bit more creative in order to make sure we can still enjoy the great outdoors.

Summer staycations have been pretty popular this year, and no doubt some people were probably found moaning about it being too hot, but soon enough we will be longing for warm weather and sunshine again.

“There’s no need to wait for a warm, or even dry day to plan a family trip out” says Nicola Henderson, who is a mother of three and runs family farm, Godstone Farm, in Surrey.

Here are her top tips for day trips to help get you outdoors whatever the weather:
Book online
With reduced capacities to ensure social distancing most venues will ask you to book in advance, and why risk not getting in with excited children in the back seat? Many attractions may offer their best price if you book in advance via their website and often more savings can be made the further ahead you book. That all important booking confirmation is also a valuable chance for the attraction you are visiting to communicate important information to you; in uncertain times its best to get the low-down before you arrive.

Use the website for all important information
Most venues will now have information on their site about their ‘Covid Secure’ measures and any information you need to know. But, let’s not forget the fun stuff – the website will give you all the details of what’s open and what’s on, plus check out the blog and any latest posts on social media. This day out might be a special treat, so show the children pictures and read content to them, even play a quiz in the car about what they think they might see and do. You might not be going on holiday, but you can still escape for a bit!

Arrive early
Let’s face it, the children aren’t likely to give you a lie in on your staycation so make the most of the day. Arriving early means getting the car parking space closer to the entrance (important in bad weather!) and also being first in line for things that might get busier during the day. Whether it’s the front of the queue for a ride, or the first to cuddle a cute bunny it’s always good to beat the crowds, especially on weekends and holidays. Check out opening times before you visit – some attractions have started opening earlier than usual – this seems a popular idea, especially when toddlers get tired and need an afternoon snooze.

Leave the picnic at home
There are two main reasons for this. Firstly, hear the cries of parents up and down the land who are plain bored of making a picnic. All those lockdown walks where daily exercise meant packing up a hamper, going to the green space close by and trying to entertain the children while keeping in line with government guidance. Nicola adds “Certainly with my family, when lots of places were still closed there was an endless snack-packing exercise to go out to the local park.” Secondly, if you are able to support your local business, or small attraction in the area by making a purchase when you are there, then do. Of course, picnics are still fine if that’s what you prefer.

We love wellies!
It’s a fact! Remember that blistering heatwave? Yep, there were still those children that want to wear wellies, and hey, you’re only a child once so why not. If it is raining however, why not make extra fun on your day and do a bit of puddle jumping? If the children are dressed for it, then it makes bad weather into a real positive and provides endless fun. There’s puddle jumping competitions wherever you go in the rain, because you just make them yourself, or even try the puddle jumping Olympics! The only rule is that parents must join in too.

Wherever you go, whether it’s a staycation away from home or day trips out nothing beats the outdoors and the benefits we all know it can bring.

Godstone Farm will continue to provide fun whatever the weather, but it’s always worth checking the website for up to date opening days and times. They have some exciting plans for 2021 including a Day Nursery and Pre-School planned to open in early 2021. www.godstonefarm.co.uk

Dec 30

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The future of financial education

By Iain Boyle Education, Finance, play

The world of money has changed drastically. For us, as parents, we could tell how much pocket money we had left just by jangling our pocket. Nowadays, pocket money has been transformed by the growth of contactless payments and ecommerce, with digital transactions making it all too easy for months of careful saving to be blown with the touch of a screen or tap of a card.
With a study by the University of West London showing that one in five Londoners below the age of 45 struggle to pay debts as a result of ‘tap and go’ payments, it is no wonder that many parents have concerns over their children’s finances in a cashless world. Whilst contactless payments have undoubtedly made spending more convenient for many, young people are becoming increasingly aware of the potential risks posed by the ease of digital transactions. As a result, over 5% of young people are switching back to cash to better control their spending.

Statistics like these shouldn’t scare children away from contactless payments entirely, but they should act as a wake-up call to ensure we are instilling in our children a firm understanding of the value of money and an appreciation that every tap adds up. Digital money is here to stay, and it is vital that children are integrated into this cashless society.

Lessons in financial literacy
Schools have played an important role in introducing children to the uses and functions of money since the inclusion of financial literacy on the national curriculum in 2014, with pupils in Key Stage 3 (ages 11-14) being taught about managing risk and the importance of budgeting, and children in Key Stage 4 (ages 15-16) learning about credit and debit, income and expenditure, savings and pensions. Exposing young people to the practical applications of financial literacy skills is essential if they are to become financially competent and confident adults.

Though effective in theory, the limited time, resources and staff available to teach even the syllabuses’ core subjects, often results in financial literacy classes being squeezed out of the day. Lesson content is also a cause for concern; the emphasis placed on cash and coins neglecting the fact that digital transactions dominate the world outside the school gates.

With financial literacy lessons taking place inconsistently, and placing an emphasis on the physical forms of money, there is a risk that children won’t leave school with the certified grasp of digital money required in today’s world of consumer credit and contactless payments.

Outside of the classroom
Whilst financial lessons at school are invaluable, seemingly unexciting topics like budgeting, saving and responsible spending are best taught through hands-on experiences at home. Exposing your child to the realities of their spending in a controlled, safe environment creates an opportunity for them to comprehend the value of their money, cultivating their financial awareness and ability to manage their money independently.

Does your child know the average cost of the weekly family shop, or how much is spent on their school supplies? Encouraging them to get stuck in with the family’s finances exposes them to the daily, practical uses of money – consider setting your child a task to help with the next supermarket trip, challenging them to buy items on the shopping list within a set budget, or to work out your monthly spend from old receipts, so they can independently assess the purchases that cost the most.

Of course, managing their own money is key in a child’s financial education. Whether it’s saving up to buy the latest video game, or the satisfaction of building up a nest egg, successfully and independently budgeting their pocket money can enable children to realise the benefits that come with financial planning. Letting children treat themselves once in a while, be it from their own savings or with a little parental help, will encourage them to develop positive financial behaviours and habits.

Money management is a vital life skill that can be introduced from an early age, whether in the classroom or at home. As parents, we can supplement existing financial literacy classes with hands-on lessons from home, and help shape our children into a financially competent and confident generation.

Dec 14

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Is your child anxious?

By Iain Boyle children's health, Education, family, Health, Mental health, Relationships

Are you finding it hard to get support?
Help is at hand…

Half of all lifetime anxiety disorders emerge before the age of twelve with around 15% of children being thought to suffer from an anxiety disorder.
(Anxiety UK)

A certain amount of this emotion is considered to be normal in everyday life but once it begins to impact upon a child in a negative and persistent way it becomes a problem. Sometimes it revolves around a child’s social life and friendship issues. It may be more about fear of failing academically. It could include uncertainty about the future, fear of the dark, problems sleeping and school avoidance. However it presents itself, there are some very useful cognitive behavioural techniques that may be used to help the child think in a different way about their problems.

Guided Parent Delivered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (GPD-CBT) is a new evidence based service designed to support parents struggling to get help with their child’s anxiety. The programme which is being offered through the charity, Anxiety UK, has been designed to help increase parents’ confidence and empower them to support their child.

The positive impact that a parent can have in helping their child to overcome their problems should not be underestimated. This is emphasised throughout the sessions. There are a number of advantages to working solely with parents or guardians instead of with the child, not least the fact that parents are considered to be the experts on their own children.

CBT has been extensively researched.
It is a solution focused time limited form of treatment and one which is most often recommended by the NHS to patients needing support for a number of mental health problems.

The therapist registered with Anxiety UK to deliver these sessions, will work collaboratively with parents, providing them with strategies they can use at home to help their child, between the age of seven and 12, overcome anxiety.

Four one hour sessions are conducted with the parents face-to-face, by phone or web cam and two 15 minute sessions take place over the phone or via web cam. The support package includes a copy of ‘Helping your Child with Fears and Worries: A self-help guide for parents’ by Professor Cathy Cresswell and Lucy Willetts.

Annabel Marriott is registered as an Anxiety UK GPD CBT practitioner.
For further information or to arrange an informal chat about Guided Parent Delivered CBT, Toolkit for Anxiety workshops or self-help groups, please email Annabel at: annabel@toolkitforanxiety.com
www.toolkitforanxiety.com

Dec 07

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Encouraging independence

By Iain Boyle Education, Playing, Relationships, Sport, Uncategorized

by Sam Selkirk
Head of Lower School at Reigate St Mary’s

Once asked by a university lecturer, what was my most enduring childhood memory, it didn’t take long to remember. Of course it was the hours I spent outside, playing with my siblings, my friends, no constraints and – most importantly – no adults looming. Our parents gave us clear instructions on where we could and couldn’t go, and what time we needed to return home; but freedom and the room to be independent was afforded to us. The expectation was that we made our own fun. I wonder if the same could be said now?

What do we mean by independence? The Cambridge dictionary definition is: ‘the ability to live your life without being helped or influenced by other people’. For young children it is about becoming an independent person which incorporates self-esteem and relationships with others; being independent with life skills and becoming an independent learner – finding things you need, asking questions, solving problems, thinking critically and for yourself, for example.

Where does it start? More recently, I was shown a YouTube clip – Ruby reaches for a toy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Q2cL-WteZk: The clip was about three minutes long and showed six month old Ruby’s determination to reach a toy. I have since used this at a parent information evening and also during an assembly to four to seven year olds – their response was magical, they got it, this little baby could overcome barriers and reach the toy for herself. An extrinsic reward did not need to be dangled to entice Ruby, her satisfaction was evident when she began to play with the toy; it was intrinsic. During the video I was overcome by two thoughts, the first being: just help her get the toy – which I quickly dismissed – and secondly, how this short clip summed up so much of what I believe in. In allowing children to do things for themselves, they will undoubtedly develop the essential life skill of independence.

So how do we develop this? Evidence suggests that the ability to think and behave independently is possessed from a very early age. As such we need to nurture it in babies and young children. Reflecting on our behaviour is perhaps a good place to start: what have I done today for a child, which they could have done for themselves? As Lella Gandini of Reggio Emilia states: “children are strong, rich and capable. All children have preparedness, potential, curiosity and interest in constructing their learning, negotiating with everything their environment brings to them.”

So how do we help a child become that independent person? As adults we need to find a balance between not overprotecting our children, or pressurising them to run before they can walk; our expectations need to be realistic, and we must bear in mind that children will always develop at very different rates. The ‘Early Years Development Matters’ takes us through a child’s Personal, Social and Emotional Development and exemplifies the ‘Characteristics of Effective Learning’ from birth to five years old; some good ideas and guidance may be found in the DfE document ‘What to expect, when?’ which has been developed for parents and carers. Furthermore, it is important that we encourage healthy risk taking, through climbing trees or doing something new, and the opportunity to embrace mistakes. In the words of Carol Dweck: “What we do not want is to encourage a fixed mind set where a child feels they are unable to do something for themselves so they will not try, we want a child who is comfortable trying for themselves and develops a growth mind set – they will experience the feeling that before success comes failure after failure. But that hard work and persistence works.”

In many ways it is easier to identify the opportunities we can give our children to be independent when developing life skills, such as encouraging them to get dressed in the morning, cutting their own food, opening packets and having a go at pouring a drink, tidying up their toys, being provided with a cloth to mop up spills, to name but a few. Furthermore, many of these activities help a child’s physical development, therefore, providing a sound foundation for writing and drawing – a win win situation!

We also need to enhance a child’s innate desire to learn and explore. To do this we must ensure the home environment is ordered (a little like an Early Years classroom) and children know where to find things. Offering a couple of choices – such as what to eat at snack time or wear, (it is important not to ignore a child’s choice, as this will undermine their self-assurance) – and making decisions will enable them to develop their own thoughts, views and critical thinking. Allowing children to pursue their own plans, giving them the opportunity to choose what to play with and then leaving them for uninterrupted learning for increasing lengths of time in a safe environment further supports independence.

The report, ‘Developing Independent Learning in children aged three to five’, by the Faculty of Education, University of Cambridge says:”Learning is intrinsic to life and because it is this important children need to be the owners of their own learning; they won’t see it as intrinsic to life if they don’t own it themselves – everything they do must have a purpose which makes sense to them.”

As already mentioned, children develop at varying rates; and as such it is important to know where each individual is on their journey, so we may support them in the next step. For example, if a child can put on their coat, demonstrate, explain and encourage them to do up the zip. New skills may need practising, help may still be needed; but practice will ensure independence in learning new skill sets. In the words of Maria Montessori “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed” and Lev Vygotsky “What a child can do with assistance today she will be able to do by herself tomorrow.” Giving time is essential too, though it may be quicker at this point to do it for them, in the long run encouraging independence will save us time and help our children grow.

Ignatius of Loyola sums up the responsibility upon us as adults: “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man”. Now, all we need to do to ensure we provide children with the best ‘independent’ start in life, is to permit them to feel in control of their lives, confident and capable, provide them with opportunities to master new skills, think for themselves and afford responsibility – job done!

Reigate St Mary’s is a coeducational day school for pupils aged 2 to 11 set in 15 acres of beautiful parkland close to Reigate town centre. It is a junior school of Reigate Grammar School with an emphasis on nurturing confidence and self-esteem to produce happy learners.
High quality wraparound care is available onsite for all pupils aged 2 and above for 48 weeks of the year.
www.reigatestmarys.org

Dec 04

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It’s OK, not to be OK

By Iain Boyle Education, family, Health, Mental health, Relationships, Safety, Uncategorized

Mental health in pregnancy, birth and beyond

Eight months into being a mother, it hit me. Depression, together with its best friend, anxiety, came for an unplanned visit and as I write this months later, things are still very difficult, with the depression and the anxiety coming and going as they please, but I’m OK. I’m OK, not to be OK.

The most beautiful soul I have ever met, graced my husband and I with his presence in May of 2018 and what an amazing first year it has been. The cuddles; the late night/crack of dawn feeds; minimal sleep; bath time; nappy changes; weaning; playtime; teething; nappy changes; learning to crawl, walk and speak – and did I mention nappy changes?

How many blessings to have in one year. I have to pinch myself sometimes to check this isn’t just a wonderful dream. It is in fact reality, my reality, that this little boy is my baby boy and my absolute life’s purpose. How lucky am I? This most magical first year of being a mother, as amazing as it has been, has also brought many mental health challenges my way. I am not only learning to be a mother, but I am now also learning to accept and love the new me.

For seven out of my nine months of pregnancy, I was frankly scared of everything and anything going wrong. I made a decision that for my last two months of pregnancy, to work on just trying to worry less and enjoy this pregnant chapter of my life. This was much easier said than done but I really did have an amazing last two months of pregnancy where instead of fearing for this baby and what ‘could go wrong’, I looked forward to his daily kicks and hiccups and enjoyed this beautiful baby growing inside of me. I didn’t unfortunately wave a magic wand, I had to work very hard on ‘me’. I spoke openly about my fears, hopes and dreams; I attended Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT); I took early maternity leave to focus on me and my baby, as well as attending the mental health midwifery clinic attached to my local hospital. This internal work I was doing, together with the support of my incredible husband, family and friends, all helped me get to where I wanted and where I needed to be, in the preparation for my little man’s arrival.

I am a big believer in therapy and I hope that anyone struggling with poor mental health, gets help. It can be free, you can self-refer, you can choose to do it face-to-face, over the phone or online. So, if you are needing some help or just a nudge in the right direction, or know someone who is struggling, please speak up. You can reach out to your GP for a list of local therapies available or simply go online to see which type of therapy is right for you, whether it be CBT, counselling or other types of therapy. For employers, please check out Mental Health First Aid England, where they are helping drive mental health awareness in the workplace.

After being flagged as ‘high risk’ for mental health during my pregnancy, I thought I was going to experience baby blues (which can come in around day three when there is a hormone shift) but I didn’t, no baby blues. I thought I was going to experience postnatal depression but I didn’t. I don’t think. What did occur was I was back at work in January of 2019 and it happened. Depression. I found myself missing my baby so much whilst at work and felt like I was completely missing out on everything. My husband was daddy day care at the time and what a great job he was doing. This wasn’t a case of my baby not being well looked after, I was experiencing a sort of separation anxiety from my baby boy. But I just had to keep working long days and ‘deal with it’.

Whilst still struggling months later, I finally quit my job in order to enjoy time with my little man but also to work on myself. Self-love, self-care and mental health improvements, including daily meditation, yoga and therapy. Some days are good, others bad, others really bad – but I remain honest with myself and others. It really is OK, not to be OK. You are not a failure or ‘damaged goods’ which is how I would often label myself. You are real, showing your true colours and just going through a difficult time. You are exactly who you are meant to be for now and that is OK. All I know is that we have to truly accept ourselves and support others in whatever way we can. We need to remain an open and honest society, and most importantly please, be kind to one another.

At TheBabyChapter, we are dedicated to improving the quality of antenatal classes, ensuring soon-to-be parents are well supported and know all the information needed to make the right decision for you and your baby, in this new chapter, TheBabyChapter
www.thebabychapter.co.uk

Nov 29

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Preparing your child for nursery

By Iain Boyle Education, play, Relationships

Your child’s first day at nursery or playgroup can be a daunting prospect for both you and them. But our advice will help to ensure that their experience of nursery or playgroup is a happy one from the start.

Boost their social confidence
Socialising with other children is a skill that has to be learnt gradually, and some children will find it easier than others. If you can introduce them to the idea of sharing and taking turns before they start at nursery they will find the whole experience less daunting. Don’t expect great things at first – children usually play alongside each other rather than together until they’re around three years old. And while you don’t need to stand over young children while they play, you need to be close by to step in if they start to squabble over toys. If you don’t have a network of other mums with children the same age as yours, joining a mother and toddler group is a great way to introduce your child to socialising while you keep a watchful eye.

Time away from parents
It will be easier for your child to settle at nursery if you’ve gradually got them used to being left with other carers, such as grandparents, relatives and friends. Start off by leaving them for short periods – an hour while you go shopping, for example – and then gradually build it up until your child is happy to be left for a whole morning or an afternoon without you. Most children won’t like being left with nursery workers they don’t know at first, but it shouldn’t be long before they come home chatting about what “Mrs X said” and “Mrs Y did”.

Visit the nursery
“When you’re choosing a nursery, it’s usually best to visit it without your child the first time,” says Diane Rich at Early Education, an organisation which promotes quality in early years education. “The next time take your child with you and see how they respond to the environment and watch how the carers interact with them.”

You should be allowed as many familiarisation visits as you feel your child needs. Some nurseries will allow you to leave your child for short visits without you to see how they get on. When you get home, talk positively about the school, the activities that go on, the other children and the staff. Chat through any worries your child has before they start for real.

Potty training
Some nurseries will expect children to be out of nappies before they start, so find out what the policy is if you don’t think your child will be ready. However, all nursery staff should be prepared for occasional accidents and won’t expect children to ask every time they need the toilet – they’ll get plenty of gentle reminders. Pack spare pants and a change of clothes in your child’s bag just in case and tell them that no-one will be cross if they do have an accident.

Feeding themselves
If your child is to have any meals at nursery other than drink and biscuits, find out if they’ll be expected to use a knife and fork or whether hands are acceptable. Practise at home with a little knife and fork, but don’t expect your child to be able to cut up his own food – the staff will do this for him. Make sure you tell the nursery staff about any strong dislikes your child has, and any food allergies or intolerances.

On the first day
Allow plenty of time. The chances are, your child won’t be prepared for you to just drop him off and leave on the first day, so be prepared to hang around until they are settled.

You’ll probably be feeling just as anxious and emotional as they are, but try to stay cheery and confident – children pick up on your feelings of apprehension.

Explain to your child when you’ll be back – don’t fob them off with fibs such as “Mummy’s just going to move the car” when you make your exit. Tell them you’ll be back after lunch/drink and biscuit time/story time.

Leave your contact number with staff in case they need to call you.

If your child cries and won’t let you leave, ask staff for advice. In most cases they’ll ask you to stay for a while with your child in the early days.

When you’ve said your goodbyes, try not to worry. If there is a problem, you’ll be contacted, but in most cases your child will be enjoying their exciting new experience.

Borrow some books to help
Visit your local library and borrow some books on starting preschool or nursery, such as Going to Playschool by Sarah Garland. When you’ve read them, talk to your child about all the fun activities they might be doing at nursery, such as playing outside on bikes, painting pictures, playing with sand and water, making models, singing rhymes, baking cakes and building with bricks and lego.

Problems settling in?
Some children find the experience of starting nursery stressful and still won’t settle after a few weeks. Don’t worry and don’t blame yourself – just accept that children are all individuals and your child will get there in the end.

Find out from your child’s key worker or carer what happens once you’ve left. Do they continue crying inconsolably throughout the session or do they perk up 10 minutes later once they’re distracted by an activity?

Try building up sessions gradually. Start with just 30 minutes and build up the time gradually each week until they’re able to stay a whole session without you.

Try staying with your child for the session, moving away once they become engaged with an activity, but not leaving the room.

Invite children from the group back to play to encourage friendships.

Some children will settle better if you keep your goodbyes brief – lingering may only make the whole process more painful for you both.

Don’t fret about letters and numbers
We all want our children to do well, but no nursery will expect your child to have a good grasp of letters and numbers when they start. “It’s easy to confuse what you want from early years education with what you will later want from a school,” says childcare expert Penelope Leach in The New Your Baby and Child. “Young children learn by playing and therefore optimal learning means being encouraged to play.” This doesn’t mean your child will have free, undirected play throughout the session – a good nursery should provide a balanced agenda of directed activities that are suitable for your child’s level of development and will help them to learn through playing.

If you want to encourage their learning at home it helps to make it fun: play games of I-Spy to associate sounds and letters; encourage number recognition by counting everyday objects like red cars in the street; bake cakes to find out about weighing and measuring; give them dressing up clothes to encourage role-play games; let them paint, scribble and draw so they learn pencil control which will help with writing later on.

Taken from the www.babycentre.co.uk