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Mental health

Jul 04
Love0
ballet dancer

Evolving the way dance is taught

By dance & Art, Exercise, fun for children, Mental health, Playing
by Jess Child
JC Dance

The importance of a positive safe and inclusive learning environment for children.

Dance classes, especially ballet classes, are notoriously known for their strict nature. Often putting the mental and physical wellbeing of students at risk. It is time to switch this narrative and normalise a gentler approach which supports students rather than tearing them down. This looks like an emphasis on wellbeing, inclusivity, positive reinforcement, listening to the body and the understanding of injury prevention.

Emphasis on wellbeing means treating dance students as human first, and dancers second. Mental health must be a priority in the dance space. All humans are different so why does this have to change in a dance class? Students will all have different needs and experience classes in different ways. Teachers who model empathy, respect and have open communication with their students, create a safe space where children feel valued, supported and free to explore movement without fear of judgment. This encourages individuality of each student, nurtures children’s confidence, and empowers them to express and be themselves. Dance should be a source of happiness and connection, not pressure.

Inclusivity in dance classes is essential for creating a space where every child can feel seen. Dance should reflect the diverse world we live in, welcoming all body types, abilities and ways of thinking. Recognising and supporting neurodivergent students, for example those with autism, ADHD or other cognitive differences, means adapting teaching styles, using clear communication, and stepping away from the rigidity of ballet training.

Using different learning styles and pathways allows children to be themselves and thrive. It is important to challenge the outdated stereotypes of how a dancer ‘should look’. Using an approach of body neutrality in dance classes, focusing on what our bodies can do, how they move and how that makes them feel. Taking the focus away from how our bodies look. In a society already rampant with diet culture, dancers are even more vulnerable, often in front of mirrors and looking towards a stereotypical ‘ballet body’ as a goal. If a child has a body and is doing ballet, they have a ballet body! It’s a teacher’s job to protect their students from these toxic ideals.

Teaching children to listen to their bodies in a dance setting, is crucial for safety and injury prevention. Often young dancers’ bodies are pushed beyond their limits creating lifelong problems. We have to respect our body’s limits and remember young bodies are growing and changing all the time, so these limits within each individual student will also change. Encouraging body awareness will help young dancers recognise pain and fatigue early. This will reduce the likelihood of injury and create lifelong healthy movement patterns. The teacher’s job is to teach students correct technique so as to not put any added strain onto their growing joints and muscles. It’s teaching children it’s OK to rest, its OK to listen to your body’s internal cues. Empowering students to respect and have autonomy over their own bodies.

At the heart of evolving dance education is the importance of a positive and supportive learning environment. For children, positive reinforcement and offering corrections and constructive criticism from a place of kindness, builds confidence, motivation and resilience. As a teacher it’s important to lead a class from this place. The way a teacher speaks to their students, directly reflects how the students speak to themselves – teaching from a place of highlighting progress rather than focusing solely on mistakes will help children feel safe and valued. They will be more open to exploring what their bodies can do and take risks without fear of failure and judgment, therefore able enjoy the process of improving technique, nurturing a lifelong love for dance.

Jess Child runs IC Dance – dancing together, growing together. Where every child is welcomed, valued and supported in their movement journey.

www.jcdanceclasses.com  07305 228770  info@jcdanceclasses.com @jess_jcdanceyoga

Jul 03
Love0
Arty owl

Children need more art

By dance & Art, Education, fun for children, Mental health, play, Playing, Wellbeing
by Sebastian Dewing
Founder Artroom Brighton

Nurturing creativity beyond the classroom

Back at primary school, in the 1980s, I had a weekly art lesson in an art room, a pottery class in a pottery studio and a needlework lesson in a fabrics room. Whereas I appreciate, this was not necessarily on offer in every school, it certainly wasn’t radical.

Fast forward 40 years and the demotion of art from a core subject to a smattering of token options that children dip in and out of, is astounding. If my daughter is lucky enough to get an art lesson, it is usually in conjuction with a topic lesson – like lets draw ‘a Viking long boat’ or design a ‘save the rain forests’ poster. There is still value in this but it is rarely art for art’s sake. Our children are being disadvantaged by the requirements of national educational targets, which hugely favour ‘core’ subjects, meaning art is now undervalued in primary schools. It is the participation in art, rather than the ability and skill level of the child, that is fundamentally important here.

In a world of innovation, it couldn’t be a more crucial time to use art to empower our young people, as employers place a huge emphasis on creative thinking, in addition to personal skills such as confidence, effective decision-making and originality. Such skills are bolstered by studying the arts and being able to think outside of the box, innovate and be creative is something that seems lacking in many young people entering the workforce.

Sir Ken Robinson in his TED Talk, Do Schools Kill Creativity, said that: “Creativity is now as important in education as literacy – we don’t grow into creativity; we grow out of it. Or rather, we get educated out of it… Our education system has mined our minds in the way that we strip-mine the earth: for a particular commodity. And for the future, it won’t serve us. We have to rethink the fundamental principles on which we’re educating our children.”

The Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Committee (2019) said in their report Changing Lives: “We are deeply concerned by the evidence we received around the downgrading of arts subjects in schools, with all the consequent implications for children’s development, wellbeing, experiences, careers and, ultimately, life chances.”

While schools work really hard to deliver a broad curriculum, the time and resources available for creative subjects, such as art, are frequently limited or sidelined. Yet, for many children, art isn’t just a subject – it’s a language, an outlet and a way to connect with themselves and the world around them.

Art workshops can offer a space where that creative expression can truly flourish. Unlike the school environment, where outcomes and assessments can sometimes overshadow the process, workshops are structured around exploration and fun. They allow children to use new materials, think visually and build confidence in their own ideas – all in a relaxed and supportive setting.

During the long summer break, when routines shift and screen time can easily dominate, art workshops can provide children with meaningful, hands-on experiences. It’s not just about keeping them busy – it’s about giving them the tools and space to grow, create and have fun.

For parents looking to support their child’s artistic interests beyond the classroom, workshops can be an ideal stepping stone. They bridge the gap between what schools can offer and what children truly need to thrive as young creatives.

At Artroom Brighton, we truly and firmly believe that art has the power to transform and nurture the lives of young people – we’ve seen it happen many, many times.
In the current climate, it’s no wonder that more and more parents are choosing to send their children to our classes. Unlock YOUR child’s creative potential and book them in for a course at our studio. Visit www.arrtroombrighton

Jul 03
Love0
ocean fishtank scene

Nurturing creativity

By Early Years, environment, Forest School, Green, Mental health
by Karen Borley
Senior Education Advisor, N Family Club

The magic of the atelier and self-expression in the Early Years

In their early years, children establish the foundations of how they view the world, relate to others and express themselves. One way to support this development is through the use of an atelier, which is a dedicated space for self-expression. Inspired by the Reggio Emilia approach to early childhood education, the atelier is a vibrant, ever-evolving environment where children of all ages can make sense of their world through art, play and sensory discovery.

The atelier concept comes from the Reggio Emilia approach, a renowned educational philosophy that places high value on children’s natural creativity. Reggio educators refer to the variety of ways that children interpret the world as the ‘hundred languages of children’ with the environment as the ‘third teacher’. Aligning with the Early Years Foundation Stage’s (EYFS) Expressive Arts and Design area, an atelier can facilitate the ‘hundred languages’ through 2D and 3D art, clay modelling, transient art, photography, music and sound, amongst other experiences. Children are free to experiment, to combine different mediums, to revisit ideas and to create without the pressure of a ‘right’ answer. Essentially, the journey matters as much as the end result.

When set up thoughtfully, as a dedicated room or as a part of the main family room, the atelier should invite exploration, curiosity and wonder in children of all ages. Experiences and materials can be adapted to suit a child’s stage of development – whether it’s a toddler squishing clay between their fingers or a preschooler constructing a 3D sculpture with the same materials, the atelier should welcome all forms of expression and creativity. For babies, an atelier experience might be about sensory exploration – watching light and shadow, listening to soft music or touching different textures. For toddlers, it could be about mark-making, experimenting with colour, or stacking and building. Older children may work on more complex projects involving design, sculpture and collaboration. Every child has the opportunity to develop confidence in their ideas, to try new techniques, and to build something uniquely theirs.

In the atelier, children can be introduced to a diverse range of artists whose work sparks curiosity and wonder. Artists such as Joan Miró, Jackson Pollock, Henry Moore and Yayoi Kusama can be explored. For example, a child might respond to Kusama’s dots with their own vibrant pattern work. These experiences help children see themselves as artists, too. They learn that art is not about perfection but about expression – finding their voice, rhythm and mark in the world.

The atelier is also a space for project work – an opportunity for deeper, shared discovery. Children can return to their creations over days or even weeks, adding layers of thought, materials and meaning. This ongoing process demonstrates to children that their ideas matter and deserve both time and attention. Educators should play a key role here, introducing new materials and techniques, asking thoughtful questions and helping children to connect their experiences to broader ideas. Older children can be provided with the opportunity to collaborate with one another by discussing plans and building together, and these early experiences of teamwork and communication lay strong foundations for emotional and social development.

An important aspect of the atelier approach is documentation. Children’s creations should not just be displayed, but also celebrated. Photos, notes and collections of work allow children to revisit past experiences, reflect on their process and share their stories with peers and their families, supporting a sense of ownership and pride. By giving children the freedom and tools to express themselves, we help nurture confident thinkers, communicators and lifelong learners. In the safe, inspiring space of the atelier, each child is invited to tell their story in their own unique way. For families, knowing that such a space exists in their child’s nursery can offer reassurance that their child is being seen, heard and valued every day.

Founded in 2017, N Family Club set out to rethink Early Years education – developing a progressive curriculum, building a sector-leading team culture, and a world class service that adds real value for families. A proud B Corp, N Family Club were rated the highest quality nursery group in the UK by Nursery World in 2022 & 2023 and were accredited as a Great Place to Work in 2024. www.nfamilyclub.com

Jul 01
Love0
skateboard lesson

They’re not broken – it’s their superpower potential

By ADHD and neurodiversity, Education, fun for children, Mental health, special educational needs
by Jack Francis
The Skate Club

How passion helps neurodiverse children discover their ‘superpowers’

A few months ago, I stood in front of 200 primary school children, sharing stories from my life – skateboarding down hills with Christmas trees strapped to my board, struggling to keep up at university and writing a book I never thought I’d be able to write. As I spoke, a boy turned to his mate and whispered, “I’ve got ADHD and dyslexia – like him.” That moment stuck with me. That small moment of recognition, pride even, is why I’ve been doing these assemblies.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at university, and ADHD much more recently, as an adult running a skate school. Growing up, these weren’t framed as ‘superpowers’. At best, they were obstacles. At worst, signs of somehow falling short. I’d often been called bright, but that made it harder – like I had all the pieces, just not the ability to put them together.

It’s only in recent years that I’ve come to see how much of what I’m good at – from teaching, to coaching, to running a business – is tied to the way my brain works. My hyperfocus, creativity, energy and problem-solving skills aren’t things I’ve achieved despite my neurodiversity. They are my neurodiversity. And I’m not alone.

The power of passion
In every school I visit, there are children sitting quietly with heads full of big ideas, or legs bouncing under the table. Some have diagnoses, many don’t. They might struggle with reading, listening, or managing frustration – but the potential in those children is massive. What they need isn’t ‘fixing’. What they need is space to explore something they care about, something that lets them feel good at being themselves. For me, that thing was skateboarding.

Skateboarding gave me freedom. It wasn’t about winning or being picked for a team. It was about solving tiny physical puzzles – how to move, how to balance and how to land a trick. It was social but low-pressure. I could focus completely on what I was doing, fail over and over again and still feel proud of the progress. Looking back, skateboarding was the first place I truly felt capable.

Today, as a skate coach, I see the same thing in other children – especially those who are neurodiverse. Children who are anxious or fidgety, or who’ve been told they “Just need to focus,” often find a rhythm through skating. I’ve watched children go from nervously standing on a board to rolling down ramps on their own, grinning from ear to ear. Some of them go home and do their reading for the first time in weeks. It’s not about the trick – it’s about the shift in how they see themselves.

Reframing ‘difficulty’
One of the challenges for neurodiverse children today is that their journey often begins with being told what they can’t do. A diagnosis, helpful as it is, can also carry an unspoken message: you’re going to struggle. And yes, there may be challenges. But there are also advantages – and children deserve to hear that side too.

Dyslexic thinkers often have strong visual and spatial awareness, creative imagination and big-picture thinking. Those with ADHD may have intense focus (on the right task), incredible energy and rapid-fire ideas. Autistic children often bring attention to detail, emotional honesty and deep interests. But these traits only shine when we let children follow what they love.

That’s the heart of it: when a child finds their passion – whether it’s skateboarding, coding, storytelling or animals – it becomes a doorway into confidence. Passion gives purpose to their focus, structure to their energy and joy to their learning. And when a child starts seeing themselves as someone who can, not just someone who struggles, everything changes.

The adult’s role
As parents, educators, and carers, our role isn’t to tell children who they are – it’s to notice when they light up, and to help them follow that thread. Sometimes that means letting them try unusual things. Sometimes it means not pushing them to do what everyone else is doing. And sometimes it just means listening when they talk about something they care about.

Skateboarding might not be your child’s thing – and that’s fine. But something is. There’s something out there that lets them feel free, focused and fully themselves. Our job is to help them find it. Not to demand they perform, but to offer them the kind of support that says, “You’re not broken – you’re just different and that’s a strength.”

I still get overwhelmed. I still struggle with admin. I still forget things. But I’ve also built a skate school, written a book and coached hundreds of young people. And I’ve done that not in spite of my neurodiversity, but because of it.

So when your child gets obsessed with something, try not to brush off. Watch closely. That might just be the spark that helps them discover their superpower.

Jack Francis is the founder of The Skate Club and author of “How to Train Your Skateboard”, a beginner’s guide to skateboarding.
www.theskateclub.com

Jul 01
Love0
upside down selfie with kids

The benefits of an active holiday camp

By environment, fun for children, Holiday camps, Mental health, Wellbeing
by Emily Finch
Ultimate Activity Camps

The school holidays are a time for children to take a break from the school routine, have fun, relax and recharge but they can also be an opportunity for growth, adventure and to learn new skills. Holiday camps offer a fantastic alternative to boredom at home, long hours in front of the screens and finding fun and engaging childcare solutions for parents. Active holiday camps create the perfect environment for children to stay fit and build valuable life skills through physical activities, games and team challenges.

Active holiday camps are more than a way of burning off energy. They can support children’s mental wellbeing, help them make new friends, and even spark a lifelong love for the outdoors. Whether it’s boosting their confidence through new experiences or simply encouraging healthy habits, the benefits go far beyond the holiday itself.

Improved physical health
Activities like sports, swimming, hiking and obstacle courses help improve cardiovascular fitness, strength, flexibility and coordination. Regular physical activity can also boost the immune system and supports healthy growth and development. With a range of activities throughout the day to participate in, an active holiday camp will help children get moving and trying new activities can inspire a love and help exercise to become a regular occurrence.

Being on camp for a day, a week or the whole summer can help to create a lifestyle change. An active camp creates a fun atmosphere and where it’s normalised for children to be on the move. Enjoying themselves in this environment means it is likely children will want to carry it on outside of the camp, creating a new norm. By being outside and in the natural environment, whether that is whilst on a multi-activity camp, on school playing fields or a sports specific camp on astro turf or specialist surfaces or survival camps in the woods all these will help children appreciate the outdoors, fresh air and a gain a respect for nature.

Boosts mental wellbeing
Being outdoors and engaged in fun physical activities releases endorphins that help elevate mood and reduce stress and anxieties. The regular exercise children get in an active holiday camp can also boost their mood and improve their focus. Being active will also naturally tire a child out, meaning they will come home from camp and have a deeper and more restful night’s sleep, which will help improve their overall mood and wellbeing.

Active camps also help to develop children’s social skills. They are a great place to meet new people and make new friends. Many activities on an active camp involve an element of teamwork, bringing all kinds of children together to work towards a common goal. Children learn to communicate, co-operate, resolve conflicts and support one another – skills that are essential in all areas of life. The shared experiences create lasting memories and bonds.

Active camps also help build confidence and independence. Trying new activities with new friends and succeeding while being supported by new peers helps build confidence and self-esteem. Whether it’s on the football pitch or in the art room, being praised and supported by others leaves children with a sense of achievement. Being in a new environment without their parents, with unfamiliar faces and possibly unfamiliar surroundings, encourages children to step out of their comfort zone. They learn to adapt to new instructors/teachers and navigate new conversations and friendships on their own, giving them invaluable life lessons and skills.

Reduces screen time
Holiday camps, and active camps especially, can be a great way to pry digital devices from children’s hands. The limited screen time creates a great opportunity to reconnect with play, the outdoors and simple childhood fun! With all the activities on offer and action-packed timetables, children’s devices will be a distant memory. Reduced screen time increases focus, creativity and emotional regulation, on and off of camp.

Promotes learning through play
Many activity camps incorporate learning into the timetable, almost like sneaking extra vegetables into dinner by cutting it very fine! This can be through teamwork, creative thinking or STEM. Activities like team-based problem-solving games, treasure hunts and movement-based STEM challenges help children develop critical thinking, communication and collaboration skills. All while staying active, making learning feel exciting and rewarding. Whether they’re figuring out clues in a scavenger hunt or building a structure that can withstand movement, children are developing skills that will benefit them long after the camp day ends.

At Ultimate Activity Camps, children can enjoy a range of over 40 sports, games and craft activities each week, led by inspiring staff in superb facilities – running at 45 locations this summer! For further information about camps near you please visit www.ultimateactivity.co.uk

Jul 01
Love0
singing teacher

A musical childhood

By Education, Mental health, Music and singing
by Sarah Jones
Director of Prep School Music St Catherine’s

Head of Prep School Music at St Catherine’s, Sarah Jones, explains why she believes that music is such an important part of a primary school education. Music has been deeply woven into human culture for centuries, from the rhythmic beats of ancient drums to the intricate compositions of classical symphonies and the infectious tunes of modern pop.

For children, music is more than just entertainment – it plays a crucial role in their cognitive, social and emotional growth. In primary schools, where young minds are highly receptive, incorporating music into the curriculum provides benefits that extend well beyond the classroom. As education becomes increasingly focused on academic assessments, it is essential to acknowledge the importance of music education and preserve its place as a fundamental part of the primary school experience.

One of the most convincing reasons to incorporate music into primary education is its significant impact on cognitive development. Research consistently shows that music education enhances brain function in ways that boost academic achievement. Children who participate in music learning exhibit improved language skills, better memory retention and enhanced problem-solving abilities. For instance, playing an instrument requires the brain to decode complex symbols and translate them into physical movements, stimulating both the left and right hemispheres, which strengthens neural connections.

Additionally, music education is closely linked to improved maths skills. The rhythmic patterns in music closely align with mathematical concepts like fractions, sequencing and spatial awareness. As children practice these rhythms, they naturally reinforce their understanding of essential mathematical ideas in a fun and intuitive way.

Beyond academic benefits, music plays a significant role in supporting emotional and social development. In the early years of primary school, children are learning to navigate complex emotional landscapes and form social bonds. Music provides a safe and expressive outlet for emotions, allowing children to process feelings that may be difficult to articulate through words alone.

Group musical activities, such as choral singing or instrumental ensemble performances, encourage teamwork and cooperation. In these settings, children learn to listen to each other, maintain rhythm together and contribute to a collective goal. As well as being lots of fun, these experiences foster a sense of belonging and teach essential life skills like empathy, patience and collaboration. For many children, participation in musical activities boosts self-esteem and provides a sense of achievement, especially when they perform in front of an audience.

In an educational system with a focus on standardised testing, there is a risk that creativity might take a backseat. However, creativity is an essential skill for future success, and music education offers an ideal platform for its cultivation. Through music, children are encouraged to explore, experiment, and express their individuality. Whether they are composing original songs, improvising with instruments, or interpreting music in their own unique way, these activities promote creative thinking and innovation.

Moreover, music provides opportunities for cultural awareness and appreciation. Exposure to diverse musical traditions broadens children’s perspectives and helps them develop a deeper understanding of the world. Through music, they learn to value diversity and embrace a global outlook – qualities that are vital in today’s interconnected world.

Music education also plays a key role in developing fine and gross motor skills. For instance, playing an instrument demands precise finger movements, hand-eye coordination, and good timing. Even simple activities like clapping to a beat or dancing to music help improve physical coordination and rhythm. These motor skills are particularly important in the early years when children are honing their physical abilities.

Additionally, music and movement activities contribute to physical wellbeing. Dancing to music provides a fun and engaging form of exercise, helping to counteract sedentary habits and fostering a lifelong enjoyment of movement. This well-rounded approach to education recognises the connection between mind and body, supporting both physical and cognitive growth.

The benefits of music education extend well beyond the primary school years. Early exposure to music often sparks a lifelong passion for the arts, whether as a personal interest or a professional pursuit. Children who engage with music at a young age are more likely to continue enjoying and participating in musical activities throughout their lives.

Additionally, the skills fostered through music – such as discipline, perseverance and the ability to work toward long-term goals – are valuable in many other aspects of life. Learning to play an instrument or master a musical piece requires patience and consistent effort, teaching children the importance of hard work and delayed gratification. These lessons become essential as they grow and encounter new challenges.

Music is a cornerstone of a holistic education. Its benefits extend across cognitive, emotional, social, and physical development, nurturing skills essential for academic achievement and personal growth. In a rapidly evolving world, where creativity and adaptability are highly valued, the significance of music education cannot be overstated. By prioritising music in primary schools, we provide children with the tools they need to succeed while fostering a lifelong passion for learning and self-expression. A musical childhood is not only an educational asset – it is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

St Catherine’s Prep School extends a warm welcome to parents who would like to visit the school. Visit www.stcatherines.info to find out more about upcoming open mornings and arranging a visit.

 

Mar 26
Love0
exam stree

Exam stress

By Education, Mental health
by Edmond Chan
Childline Practitioner

As we begin to welcome in the spring, the lighter evenings and warmer weather, as parents of school-age children, we also start to usher in exam season – a period which can bring with it anxiety and worry for parents and children alike.

Older children can sometimes be a bit more accustomed to the process of revision and exam preparation. But for children at primary school about to do their SATs, it’s often the first time they’ve experienced the examination process, and it can feel very daunting.

One 11-year-old girl* who contacted Childline told counsellors: “I’m stressing out about taking my SATs. It’s a lot of pressure and I worry I’ll be in the bottom set. My older siblings didn’t have to take them because of COVID. I feel like nobody understands or listens to me.”

Exams can be extremely stressful for children and cause them a lot of worry and anxiety. But there are some simple things you can do to support them and help them prepare.

Before the exam, you can help them take control by designing a revision plan together and building time for relaxation into it. If you’re not sure where to start, the BBC Bitesize revision planner can help you: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zn3497h

It’s important to remove any distractions so they can focus on their revision. Make sure they put their phone away and turn off the TV during their revision sessions to aid their concentration. You could even offer screen-time as a reward for revision time.

A good night’s sleep is really important, so make sure they go to bed early to get some rest the night before an exam. This will help them more than revising all night. And don’t forget to set your alarm to get them up and ready for school in plenty of time.

On the day of the exam, it can help to try and stay positive. Remind them all they can do is try their best. If they’re worried, they could try watching some funny clips on YouTube – laughing could help them feel less stressed.

They might say they don’t feel like eating, but ensuring they eat a good breakfast before they leave the house will help them feel energised and improve their focus. Drinking lots of water to stay hydrated is vital too, and if they start to feel stressed or anxious, suggest they try taking deep, slow, calming breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth.

During the exam it’s important they read the instructions on the paper before they start and ask if they’re not sure about anything. Remind them to take a moment to read the question and a few seconds to breathe before they start writing anything, to help them gather their thoughts.

If there’s a choice of questions, it might be best to start on the ones they know they can answer best, leaving some time to read over the answers at the end. If they get stuck, suggest they move onto a question that they can answer better.

When a child is worried, one of the most important things they can do is to talk about how they’re feeling. Talking can reduce the pressure and help them to feel more in control, so remind them they can come and talk to you about any worries they have. But if they find that difficult, they can talk to Childline, free and in confidence.

Children and young people can call 0800 1111 to speak to a trained volunteer counsellor over the phone or visit www.childline.org.uk to chat online using our 1-2-1 service.

You can find lots more advice and practical tips on the Childline website www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/school-college-and-work.

*Snapshots are based on real Childline service users but are not necessarily direct quotes. All names and potentially identifying details have been changed to protect the identity of the child or young person involved.

 

Mar 21
Love0
happy mum ADHD

Five survival tips for an ADHD parent

By Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs
by Alex Partridge author and host of the ADHD Chatter podcast

As someone with ADHD, I know it enables me to do amazing things, but I also know it also holds me back in some areas. If you’re a neurodiverse parent, parenting forces you into those areas where ADHDers often struggle, such as organisation, planning and consistency.

With this in mind, here are five tips that I’ve put together with help from other ADHD mums and dads to help you survive the amazing, wonderful, challenging roller-coaster that is parenting.

1. Make sure your ADHD is well-managed
Having a baby to care for means the scaffolding we ADHDers put around us to keep stable can be in danger of becoming wobbly. You may need to add reinforcements, such as hiring a cleaner so you don’t have to think about housework as well as a baby.

You may also need to make adjustments to your daily routine so you can remain by your baby’s side. Instead of jogging outside, for example, you could exercise inside with the help of a YouTube video. If meditation is something you use to keep yourself stable, you may need to do it during the unpredictable moments of silence throughout the day, rather than your usual set time.

2. Protect your slots
Parenting author Kirsti Hadley shared a brilliant analogy with me, where you imagine that all humans have a cognitive load consisting of five slots. When we encounter something that puts a demand on us, one of the slots gets filled.

A neurotypical parent’s slots will fill up with demands such as: I need to change my baby’s nappy, I need to prepare my baby’s food, I need to give my baby some medication, I need to buy my baby new shoes or let’s plan a nice weekend trip away with my baby.

However, a neurodivergent parent’s slots will fill up with demands or questions such as: My baby’s screams are over-stimulating me, I need to remember the travel directions to the nursery, where did I put my car keys?, what will the other parents think of me? or I haven’t drunk any water today. Our slots get filled up much quicker because a lot of the demands that come with parenting are high ‘executive function’ demands.

The early stages of parenting put a lot of extra demand on our brains so it’s vital we protect our slots, especially in the early days. To do this, I’d advise asking for help – this automatically doubles your available slots! I’d also suggest prioritising social encounters that matter to you and declining ones that don’t.

3. Establish a structure
The word ‘routine’ sends a shiver down my spine, but it’s important to try to establish a structure that works for you. Use any quiet time in the evenings to plan the next day. What will your child be wearing? Where will they need to go?

An ADHD brain comes alive as the day progresses. Take advantage of your ‘evening’ brain by using it to plan the morning activities. There will also be fewer demands on you in the evening as the world is winding down, so there’s less chance of you being interrupted.

4. Don’t feel ashamed of screens
There’s a lot of shame surrounding children’s use of screens for entertainment, especially on social media, but it’s especially important for neurodivergent parents to ignore this narrative.

Back when we lived in tribes in small villages, parents had help looking after their children. These days, a lot of parents are left alone to do the job, so we should never feel guilty about using modern technology to help us create our own village. Having a moment to recharge your cognitive batteries will be beneficial to you, your mental health and your child.

5. Find time for you
This is important for every parent, but especially for neurodiverse ones. To help do this, use the anagram WEBS: W: Walk (go for a walk). E: Early morning routine (create a morning routine that includes solitude). B: Baths (have a hot bath in the evening). S: Stretch (incorporate stretching in your day when possible).

Every part of WEBS can be as big or as little as your time allows. A walk could be as simply as pacing the length of your kitchen a couple of times. A stretch could simply involve making the movement of picking something up from the floor more intentional.

It’s the intention that really matters, and that is to create a moment, no matter how small, where you can focus on nothing but the moment and relax. These little moments are really important because they provide a pause between the demands of parenthood and therefore help to minimise any overwhelming feelings.

What all these tips have in common is creating a parenting structure that works for you and your child, which doesn’t have to be one that follows conventional norms. When we stop thinking the ‘traditional’ way is the right way, we can begin to make simple accommodations within our neurodiverse households that will make for a happier environment – and much happier parents and children.

Alex Partridge is the founder of LADBible and UNILAD and the host of the ADHD Chatter podcast. His book Now It All Makes Sense: How An ADHD Diagnosis Brought Clarity To My Life is out now, published by Sheldon Press, priced £16.99.now it all amkes sense

 

Mar 19
Love0
child-feel-heard

Five tips to help your child feel heard

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Language, Mental health
by Dr Naveen Puri
Medical Director, Bupa UK

1. Listen actively
It’s easy to overlook your children’s problems, especially when you’re busy or having a tough day. However, it’s important for them to know you’re ready to listen. Make sure to listen to your child without interrupting. Show that you value their thoughts by giving them your full attention, maintain eye contact, nod and respond to show you’re engaged.

This will help build trust and reassure them to share their feelings and challenges with you as they grow up.

2. Create a safe space
Look for chances to talk together. Sometimes, having a face-to-face conversation can be tough, so chatting while on a walk or during a car ride can make it easier as you’re not facing each other.

Remind them regularly that they can talk to you about anything, no matter how difficult, and that you won’t judge or blame them. Your child may not be ready to discuss something right away, so let them know you’re there to listen whenever they feel ready.

3. Look for clues in their play
When children become upset or stressed, they may show their feelings through play rather than words. For example, if your child is play fighting with their toys, don’t be afraid to call it out in a non-judgemental way, by saying things such as “There seems to be a lot of fighting today” or “That looks pretty scary”. This can encourage them to talk about what’s bothering them.

Don’t be discouraged if this doesn’t start a conversation. Having you around may help them feel more comfortable and make it easier for them to share their problems when they feel ready.

4. Use simple language
Talking about different feelings with your child is helpful for their emotional development. By using simple language, you can help them understand and express their emotions better.

Here are a few things to consider:
• Use clear emotion words
Stick to basic words like ’happy’, ‘sad’, ‘cross’ and ‘worried’. This helps your child easily identify and relate to their feelings.
• Label their emotions
When you notice your child expressing an emotion, it can be useful to help label it for them. For example, if they appear to be upset or crying, say, “You look sad”. This shows them that you understand what they are feeling and helps them learn to recognise their emotions.
• Encourage open questions
Ask open-ended questions that prompt your child to share their feelings. Instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” try, “What made you happy today?” This encourages them to think about their emotions and express themselves more fully.
• Share your own feelings
Healthily show your child that you feel emotions too. For example, say, “I felt worried this morning when I couldn’t find my car keys as I didn’t want you to be late for school.” This normalises talking about emotions and reinforces that it’s OK to be open about your feelings.

5. Acknowledge your child’s feelings
Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, it’s essential to validate your child’s emotions and support their development. Here’s how and why this is beneficial:
• Recognising complex emotions
Experiencing a wide range of emotions can be overwhelming for your child. Whether it’s frustration over a difficult homework assignment or sadness after a disagreeing with a friend, try to recognise these feeling and help them understand that it’s OK to feel them. Reassure them by saying things like, “I see that you’re feeling upset about this” to show them that their feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
• Normalising emotions
Letting your child know that it’s normal to have different emotions helps them feel less alone. They may worry that their feelings are unusual or that they shouldn’t feel a certain way. Validate all their emotions by letting them know it’s OK to feel whatever they’re feeling, and that everyone has a range of emotions. This can reduce anxiety about their feelings and encourage them to express themselves more freely.
• Building trust and respect
Acknowledging and respecting your child’s behaviour helps them to learn that you take their feelings seriously. For example, saying something like, “I understand why you’re feeling this way, it makes sense”, reinforces that you value their views and what could be troubling them. This can help strengthen the bond between you both.

It’s also important to take a moment for yourself and reflect on your own feelings. Make time for activities you enjoy, spend quality moments with your child and keep a positive outlook. If things become difficult for you to cope with, remember to stay connected to people you trust. You may find it easier to speak to a health professional if you find it difficult to open up to those close to you.

For further information from Dr Naveen Puri, Bupa Medical Director please visit www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/health-blog/author-profile/m-p/naveen-puri

Mar 15
Love0
lonely sad boy

Thousands of lonely children turn to Childline for help and support

By Childcare and Nannying, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

In 2023/24 the NSPCC service delivered almost 5,000 counselling sessions related to the issue, both online and over the phone from one of their 13 bases around the country. Concerningly, loneliness was given as one of the main reasons for young people calling Childline about problems with their mental health.

Reasons children and young people have cited for feeling lonely in the last year include moving house or school and having to make new friends, their parents working long hours, being bullied by peers,and seeing their friends having fun on social media and feeling as though they are missing out.

One 16-year-old girl said to Childline: “I feel so lonely all the time, I end up crying and trying to sleep until the feeling goes away. I’ve tried to help myself, but nothing worked. I feel like I’ve been this way forever, I need this to change.”

The charity is revealing these figures to remind children and young people that they are not alone with Childline ready to provide help and support 24/7.

One girl aged 11, from Scotland, told Childline: “I feel so lonely at school, I only really have one friend. What’s harder though is I feel I can’t talk about how much it upsets me. My parents seem annoyed or judgemental when I try to talk about my feelings. Speaking to Childline feels like a weight has been lifted.”

To support young people who may be dealing with loneliness, the NSPCC also offers an online service called Building Connections.

This service, available to anyone up to the age of 19, matches young people with a trained befriender for 11 weeks who will help them to build their confidence and better manage their loneliness.

To refer a child to the online Building Connections service visit: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/services/building-connections?modularPage=make-a-referral

Advice for children who are struggling with their mental health and/or loneliness includes:
• Do things that feel positive: Try your best to take part in activities you enjoy, whether that’s playing a sport, listening to music, reading a book, or drawing. Small positive actions really can have a big impact on your mood.
• Take care of yourself: When you are struggling with difficult feelings, it is important to continue to prioritise your basic needs such as eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of your body can have a positive impact on your mental health.
• Try to find ways to socialise: Whether it’s joining a club, connecting with peers at school, or reaching out to a trusted friend, prioritising socialising can help to reduce feelings of loneliness
• Remember it is always OK to ask for help: Speak to a trusted adult, a teacher, a friend, or contact Childline. No matter what you’re feeling, you don’t have to go through it alone.
• Consider signing up to Building Connections: If you’re 19 or under and struggling with feelings of loneliness, consider signing up to the NSPCC’s online Building Connections service. This service will pair you with a trained befriender who will work with you to give you the tools to tackle loneliness.

Shaun Friel, Childline Director, said: “It’s heart-breaking to see so many young people turning to Childline because they feel lonely and isolated. We know how much of an impact loneliness can have on children’s mental health, often leaving them feeling hopeless and unseen. That’s why it’s vital that children know they don’t have to face these emotions alone. Childline is here for every young person, no matter what their situation. Whether they’re missing a friend, struggling with school holidays, or finding it difficult to talk to those around them, our counsellors are ready to listen and provide support.”

Tips for adults to help children and young people who may be experiencing loneliness include:
• Communicate openly: Encourage children to talk about their feelings and listen without judgement.
• Discover what’s causing the problem: Gently explore why they might be feeling this way and validate their emotions.
• Encourage socialising: Help children find opportunities to connect with peers through hobbies, clubs, or activities.
• Help them build their confidence: Celebrate their strengths and achievements and remind them of the positive relationships in their lives.
• Build a supportive environment: Loneliness isn’t something that can be resolved with one conversation. It is important to create an environment of openness where a child can talk to you about their feelings and any struggles they may be facing.

Childline is available for young people via the phone on 0800 1111 and online through the 121 chat on www.childline.org.uk/get-support/message-boards/

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