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Nov 08
Love0
early years play

The importance of early years play

By children's health, Education, fun for children, numeracy skills, Playing, reading, Relationships
by Jasmine Holbrook
Imogen Ruby

Playing underpins all aspects of a child’s development and keeps infants active and happy. Through play, children develop their language, emotional, social and motor skills, as well as their creativity, problem solving abilities and imagination. Alongside the benefits for your little one, playing together with your child can strengthen your bond and allow you to join their world. Play develops through a series of commonly observed stages and by altering your play style and the toys offered throughout these stages, you can continue to support and encourage this development.

Play can begin right from birth. Those early movements of a baby’s arms and legs that seemingly have no purpose are actually helping them to learn to move and you can join in by gently encouraging movement. This could be through baby massage, swimming or laying your baby on your chest, tummy to tummy, a great opportunity for eye contact and kisses.

Babies love interaction with another human face, allowing your little one to study your facial expressions. Talking and singing can make this fun for both of you. Tummy time will strengthen their arms and necks and help prepare them for crawling. Using high contrast flash cards and toys, as well as baby safe mirrors, will continue to develop these skills, as well as their visual and brain development and encourage them to continue learning about the world around them.

As a baby begins to move and explore their world further, they are able to engage with toys in a different way and will start to play alone, showing not much interest in other children’s play but developing an increasing focus on what they themselves are doing. Warm interactions from the adults around them, playing alongside whilst still allowing space to enjoy some independence will enhance their understanding and enjoyment. Board books, rattles and sensory toys such as ribbon rings and musical shakers are all great choices for this stage of development.

Commonly, around two years of age children become more curious about what other children are doing, observing without joining in. As your child begins to observe other children playing, you may feel that you want to encourage them to join in but there is no need. This stage is important for children to learn about social cues and to understand the behaviour and rules within social play. Their vocabulary continues to develop rapidly, with discussions about what they are seeing.

Children at this stage will benefit from opportunities to be around other children, but will very much enjoy activities with you such as singing, story telling, early role-play toys and of course, outdoor and indoor physical play.

Social skills continue to develop as children begin to learn to share toys and copy activities, whilst still playing alongside each other without much involvement. Age appropriate toys that can easily be shared and interacted with are important, for example wooden animals, vehicles, chunky puzzles and building blocks.

Children will become more interested in playing with others, in talking and engaging and this develops their problem solving skills as well as their co-operation as they begin to navigate a shared space. During this stage, play is not very organised or focused but they are learning teamwork and communication skills as well as beginning to recognise other children’s boundaries. The best way to encourage this type of play is by creating shared spaces with similar toys, such as several dolls in a shared dolls house, a variety of vehicles on a play road map, or a mixture of animals or dinosaurs within a woodland themed playzone.

Co-operative play is the last stage of play and is vital for social and group interaction. This usually begins around the age of four and continues throughout childhood, bringing together all the skills already learned. This is where imaginative play becomes a key focus of a child’s play as they take on different roles within their imagination. You can encourage and enhance this stage of play in so many ways; for example, playing shops with a shopkeeper and a customer, playing kitchens and tea parties, directing ‘traffic’ in the garden, dressing up, the possibilities are endless.

Playing with your little one can create deeper connections and stronger emotional bonds as well as foster trust and open communication between you. It provides valuable insight into your child’s development and interests, and allows you to better understand their world. Through shared play, you can create treasured moments, enhance your own stress relief and boost your overall wellbeing – there are benefits of play for all of us!

Imogen Ruby has sustainability at its heart; through our organic clothing choices, environmentally conscious toys and passion for reusable cloth nappies. www.imogenruby.co.uk

Nov 07
Love0
panto time

Panto time – oh yes it is!

By Christmas, dance & Art, Mental health, Music and singing, Playing, Relationships, Theatre
by Nicola Thornton
Ropetackle Arts Centre

Where’s the one place you can take all the family at Christmas and be guaranteed they will crack a smile, even those that don’t like smiling? (I’m looking at you, too-cool teenagers!)

Yes, it’s the Christmas pantomime! An explosion of noise, dry-ice, jokes, music, cheesy scripts, creaking sets and gaudy costumes that any other time of year might have us running for the hills, but at Christmas it is suddenly the best thing you’ll ever do.

panto sussexIt starts the minute you arrive at the venue. The staff and volunteers all have bright eyes and wide grins that actually look genuine, the café or kiosk is serving Christmas-themed cookies and cupcakes and Christmas pudding flavoured ice-cream. The bar is serving large glasses of everything, including delicious mulled wine. The smell of excited anticipation is everywhere.

As you take your seat, the questions start. Child number 1: “What’s behind that curtain?” Child number 2: “I think I do want to go to the loo now, can you please take me?” Spouse: “Have you got a wet-wipe?” Grandparent: “Are you sure you won’t get a parking ticket?”
Teen: “Why am I here again?”

As you answer them all with a wide grin that looks anything but genuine, something starts to happen in the wings. The curtain goes up, the lights go down and you’re off – off to that land of chaos, magic, satin, glitter and glitz, where nothing is real. You encounter a beautiful princess, a handsome prince, perhaps a genie or fairy godmother, a clown who keeps tripping up, two ends of an animal costume and some sprightly young dancers.

An ample-bosomed Dame – who often looks better than you on a good day – points out to the audience, hands-on hips – animated and proud – and keeps the show, and the gags, on the road. The villain – boo! hiss! – is dressed in black velvet and has your youngest hiding behind their hands but loving them at the same time.

You stomp, you shout, you tell them “He’s behind you!”, you laugh, you groan. You sing, you clap, you watch, you join in, and you chuckle at something that has made the Dame crease up. You pity the poor bloke two rows in front who gets mercilessly picked on and then cheer at his good-sportiness as the audience applaud. You sneak a peek at everyone in your group and you notice one thing: they are all, bar no one, absolutely caught up in the moment.

You find yourself caring that the leading character reaches their goal and lives happily ever after. You want the villain to learn a lesson and become a better person. You believe in the power of community and people working together to make a dream come true. You look around and see the same hope, joy, and wishes on everyone’s face. Pantomime is a universal, unifying experience and the joy is contagious.

At the interval, the clamber for the loos and refreshments is a messy one. Everyone discusses their favourite character, that bit that happened that clearly wasn’t in the script, the Dame’s eyelashes that look like spiders and the brilliant dancing. The fact Evie from child number 1’s class is sitting two rows behind. The noise is heightened, the excitement palpable.

The second half starts with gusto and you’re off again. The set has changed from a forest to a castle. Everyone has a different costume on, especially the Dame, who is now on her fourth outfit of the evening. There’s a touching moment when the clown and the leading light, fed up with being misunderstood by everyone else, vow to be BFFs. There’s more laughs, more slapstick, more props, more getting up and singing along – more fun, more games. There’s a moment when the leading couple find each other, against all the odds, and everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief. It’s all going to be OK.

The finale is here. The part where everyone is on stage at the same time, where a wedding may or may not take place. Where the princess looks the prettiest she has ever looked, the prince the most handsome. The costumes have changed again. The Dame makes another grand entrance; this time in her biggest, flounciest wig. The villain is welcomed, having changed for the better, learned the error of their ways. The silliest song gets sung again (and again) and you get on your feet and all join in. You catch your teen’s eye and they smile a real smile, a child again in an unguarded moment.

You wave, clap and whoop as the cast take their bows. The lights go up, the curtain falls, you gather up your brood and weave through to the exit. Two hours of escapism now over as you head back home – tired and happy, with a ringing in your ears. Another family memory made – and that repetitious song inside your head till spring…

Ropetackle Arts Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea, W. Sussex is a vibrant performing arts venue that prides itself on being family friendly.

Find out more at www.ropetacklecentre.co.uk

Nov 06
Love0

Milestone moments

By Education, Forest School, fun for children, girls school, Girls school, Playing, Relationships
by Naomi Bartholomew
Headmistress, St Catherine’s Prep School, Bramley, Surrey

Life at Prep School is full of firsts. The first time we do anything requires courage and determination which is why I so admire young children and so enjoy watching their early journey through school.

Before joining school, children will have already had many milestone moments – moving from cot to bed, their first steps, their first tooth and many more. The first day of school arrives all too quickly and from there a series of challenges and wonderful opportunities await.

Ahead of starting school encourage your child to engage in creative play. Allow them to solve some of their own problems – when they put their shoes on the wrong feet, pause and see if they can figure that out for themselves. Provide simple choices but limit them to two or three options – I often refer to this as the ‘carrot or peas’ approach. Rather than, “What would you like to eat?” which is a crazy question to ask a pre-school child, offer two alternatives. Give your child opportunities for play games which involve taking turns and sharing as well as dressing up and role-play. Encourage the use of full sentences when talking to your child. Avoid comments like, “Mummy wants you to come over and help” and start to use, “Please can you come and help me” and “Thank you”.

The first day of school is a major event but don’t overplay this. You will have spent considerable time and effort choosing the right school, trust your instincts and remain calm and positive. Allow plenty of time for the school run on the first morning and leave as quickly as you can once your child is in the classroom and starting to settle. Your child will spend the day learning names of the other children in the class, being shown their immediate environment and they will most likely come home exhausted but happy.

During the first term, establish a good rapport with your child’s teacher and encourage their early reading and writing at home as advised by the school. Ask what happens in the book that they are reading and help with extending their vocabulary to include words such as ‘first, second, finally.’ Don’t be scared to use the correct vocabulary – if your child can recite Hickory Dickory Dock they can learn the correct vocabulary and should be moving away from pet names for things.

You will hear about the first falling out between friends. If you have watched ‘The Secret Life of Four Year Olds,’ you will see these happen frequently and are as quickly resolved. There will be moments where your child’s effort and success is recognised and other moments when they feel overlooked or left out. They are still in egocentric infant mode and it is important to remember that you are hearing a four year old version of events.

The first nativity with lines to deliver, songs to sing and the chance to ‘perform’ in front of an audience. They are likely to be apprehensive especially post pandemic but also excited to show their newfound confidence. Your child will want to please you, please their teacher and be starting to want to please their peers by this stage. Frantic waving and trying to get their attention from your seat in the audience is adding pressure to an already fairly daunting experience for some. By all means wave on arrival and reassure your child that you are there but try to keep it discrete.

By the end of the first year your child will be very attached to their first teacher and the school will prepare them for moving on to a new class, possibly with new pupils arriving too which can change the dynamic amongst the class. Over the first long summer break encourage more constructive play which requires your child to build things, take things apart and put them back together. Go on walks, build dens in the garden, start to ride a bike. Check table manners and correct use of cutlery and ‘please and thank you’s.’ Use the days of the week more and continue with reading and basic writing.

Then come swimming lessons, possibly picking up an instrument for the first time, presenting in assembly and taking on minor roles of responsibility within the class (taking a message to the office or assisting with classroom chores). You will increasingly feel that you are not there for every milestone moment. This is important as your child will be forming a self-esteem based on their sense of their own achievements and by six we hope finding intrinsic motivation. They will be working out that effort impacts outcomes and they will be turning to peers to share their achievements. Winning the sack race, learning their times tables, holding the door open for a visitor, sharing their snack at break are all equally important.

Each of these little steps are in fact giant leaps. Here at St Catherine’s we aim to capture the magic as it happens and share it with you when we can. We ask the children to give everything a try and to step out of their comfort zone with as much confidence as possible. Learning at this age must be fun and curiosity must be fostered. Enjoy the milestone moments – they are to be cherished.

St Catherine’s is situated in the village of Bramley, four miles south of Guildford, which has fast train connections to London. Prep School girls benefit immeasurably from the world-class facilities of the Senior School, including the extensive grounds, 25m indoor pool, sports hall, dance studio, magnificent auditorium and 19th century chapel. Girls from age four engage in a full and varied curriculum which includes music, IT, ballet and sport delivered by dedicated specialist teachers. Our Patron, HRH The Duchess of Cornwall, said on a recent visit, “You are all extremely lucky to be at such a wonderful school.” www.stcatherines.info

Nov 03
Love0
empowerment

The importance of empowerment

By children's health, Education, Health, Mental health, Relationships
by Project Female Dance Ambassador

Empowerment is a sort of internal permission, a confidence instilled by either yourself or the situations you find yourself in. It is defined as “authority of power given to someone to do something”. As a young person, empowerment can act as an important remedy to the societal pressures faced daily.

It feels like expectations of perfection lurk around every corner for young people. They turn on their phone and are bombarded with unrealistic images of perfection. In class there is the feeling that they would rather not raise their hand than answer incorrectly in fear of classmates and teachers thinking they’re stupid. Even at home there seems to be an expectation held by parents for their child to be a certain way. All of these experiences equate to a society of young people who are paralysed by insecurity.

empowering peopleEmpowerment has the potential to liberate young people from these expectations and pressures. Empowerment enables young people to find their voice, their place in this world and feel important and heard. Empowerment is the enemy of insecurity, and through engaging with activities and communities that make young people feel empowered, they grow in a confidence that can be applied to every aspect of their lives.

Inclusive spaces committed to creating a judgement free environment, allow young people the permission to be confident, to have fun without concern for what other people in the room are thinking and be empowered in a way they don’t often experience elsewhere. We see the relief young people experience when they are able to put all of those pressures and expectations aside and just focus on being in the room and enjoying the activity with people they feel respected by.

With a physical activity like dance, an inclusive space mobilises a type of empowerment that encourages creativity and freedom without the fear of judgement. Movement within dance is choreographed to be unique and can sometimes push you out of your comfort zone. Empowerment can be used as a tool to get over that feeling of awkwardness and express your individuality. Within an inclusive dance space there is no expectation of how you should look or act and a nurturing environment is created through the knowledge that you are surrounded by people who share similar interests and experiences. Empowerment in dance is extremely important as it gives the dancers permission to freely throw their bodies around, take risks and try new things confidently.

The young people we work with have said dance has made them feel more empowered. They’ve reflected that dance validates them when they’re feeling down or insecure. It distracts and offers them a creative escape when the pressures of society become too much. It motivates them to keep improving. The confidence they experience within the four walls of the studio becomes evident in other aspects of their lives such as school and socially.

Everyday we witness dance instilling and securing a sense of empowerment within the young people we work with.

Project Female offers a range of inclusive dance classes for 4 year olds to adults. Learn new routines, build confidence and develop creativity and expression in a fun environment. www.projectfemaleuk.co.uk

Nov 03
Love0
forest girl

Benefits of outdoor, nature based play for children with autism

By Education, environment, Green, Mental health, Playing, Relationships, special educational needs, Special support needs
by Melanie Parr
Managing Director, Lymley Wood CIC

“My child has made a friend for the first time when he came to your Forest School, we are now planning a play date.”

Being a parent to a neurodiverse child can be a challenge and a struggle but also full of such joy. All parents want their children to make friends, have fun, learn and be able to explore new environments safely while knowing they will be respected and their individual needs will be accommodated and embraced.

Autism is not ‘one size fits all’ and every child with ASC (Autistic Spectrum Condition) has different presentations to others, but one thing we have found at Lymley Wood CIC is that being outside in a natural space provides children with ASC the chance to enjoy experiences just like other children do.

There isn’t currently a great deal of research into autism and nature activities but there is a growing body of evidence to prove a link between increased wellbeing, higher achievement and access to nature. There are many individual stories illustrating the positive influence which Forest School has had on autistic participants.

“This is the first holiday club my child has attended where I haven’t been called to take him home due to his behaviour.” One of our parents with a child aged eight with ASC.

Finding a provision that has a person-centred approach is essential for autistic children and with an autism-aware practitioner, ASD children have an opportunity to thrive. As well as physical activity benefits, outdoor sessions can help with motor skills, speech and language and aid emotional regulation.

So what can time spent in a natural space such as a Forest School offer:
1. A person-centred approach doesn’t only take into account any differences or difficulties someone may have, it looks at all children as unique individuals. Sit spots and favourite places for children to go to if they feel overwhelmed are easy in the woods.
2. Curiosity led play – special interests are welcome in the woods and are a great way to engage children.
3. Space to be safely sensorily stimulated – stimming, rocking, feeling the senses of nature all around is all OK in a natural space. Jumping in play nets or lying wrapped up in a blanket looking up through the trees allows for senses to be explored.
4. Encouraging an interest in nature – maybe our next Chris Packham, who openly talks about his own challenges with ASC and how nature has benefited him.
5. A chance to make new friends and connections with children and adults.
6. Physical and mental health benefits of being outdoors, leading to calmer children and a chance to overcome some triggers and decreasing sensitivities like windy weather.

“I loved everything but the mud was the best” boy aged 10.

Forest Schools are popping up all over Sussex as are holiday cubs in woodland spaces such as Lymley Wood near Crowborough (www.lymleywood.co.uk). They all offer a great place to trial a session for children with ASC or other SEND needs.

East Sussex Council also supports access to holiday clubs with funded places for SEND children as part of the HAF scheme, for further details see www.eastsussex.gov.uk/children-families/childcare/welcome-to-holiday-food-and-fun

Mel Parr runs Lymley Wood CIC based near Five Ashes, that has been challenging Nature Deficit Disorder in Children since 2019.
For upcoming events please visit www.eequ.org/experience/4795

Nov 02
Love0
relaxed child

Calm not chaos!

By Childcare and Nannying, Education, Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs
by Sarah Fisher
Founder of Connective Family

Helping parents and children to connect

Parenting is easy – said no one ever! All parents and carers need a helping hand at some point or another, whether that’s from supportive wider family, friends or another source of help. Much heated debate and discussion exists on the merits of the ‘best’ or ‘latest’ parenting approach. But one thing’s for sure – there’s no one size fits all.

Parenting struggles come in all shapes and sizes – you might be struggling to connect with your determined three year old, trying to get your teen away from a screen or experiencing aggression from your child.

Dealing with challenging behaviour from your children is exhausting – you’ve likely already tried hard to sort things out on your own, you’re quietly worried and it can feel lonely at times.

What is Connective Parenting NVR?
Connective Parenting NVR is a therapeutic parenting approach with a firm focus on connection and presence rather than ‘traditional’ parenting. What does this mean? It means that it doesn’t try to change the child’s behaviour through using consequences or rewards, but through the presence of the parent or carer in the child’s life.

Let’s explain a bit more about it.

Connective Parenting is based on the principles of non-violent resistance (you might hear this called NVR) and draws on a wide range of therapeutic models. It’s a wholly ‘doable’ approach because it’s easy to adapt to whatever challenges you’re facing.

In a nutshell, Connective Parenting NVR can help you create a stronger connection, reduce meltdowns and feel in control. Connection brings positive change and works with all families – birth parents, foster carers, adoptive parents and kinship carers.

If we focus on building connections with our children, it starts to open the door to a different relationship, better communication and less disruptive behaviour.

So, where to start?
The Connective Parenting NVR approach is about us as adults looking after children and thinking about how we react and interact with them.

Start with you:
It takes energy to make changes and if you feel overwhelmed or like you’re running on empty, you need to work on this first, otherwise it’s hard or even impossible! Try some deep breathing, go for a short walk each day, read a few pages of a book, listen to music – whatever works for you.

Raise your presence:
Children need us to see them, hear them and acknowledge them, but if you’re feeling low or exhausted by their behaviours, it’s easy to back away. If this happens, their behaviours are more likely to escalate because they’re feeling a sense of disconnection. Think of it as connecting before correcting.

De-escalate:
This is where you’re taking control of the situation as an adult in a calm and resolute way. Difficult, yes and even more so if you’re running on empty (note the point above!). There’s lots more on this but, essentially, by connecting before correcting you’re working on the relationship not the behaviour and through that reducing the challenges.

A bit about baskets!
Multi-tasking has become a way of life for many parents and carers. Add managing challenging behaviours from our child or children and it can quickly overwhelm the best of us.

Connective Parenting NVR helps to prioritise concerns using a simple basket technique. You can use three baskets, as below, or just focus on two – the small and the large one, it’s entirely up to you, whichever you find easiest.

Here’s how:
1. The small basket is your priority basket – no more than two behaviours you want to deal with, the things that must stop. Focus on this one first.

2. The middle basket is for those things you can negotiate on – things you’re not going to totally ignore, but will think about how to handle them at some point, like bad language. If there’s two of you, be consistent and agree what’s in each basket.

3. The large basket is for everything else – all the things that are annoying but that you’re going to ignore for now. This one will likely be full but ‘let it go’.

All of the above will help to build that stronger connection with your child. It might feel a whole lot like your child doesn’t want to connect with you – but don’t let that stop you from trying. Watch their favourite movie with them, send a text to say hi when they’re out, sit on the floor with them and play a game. Keep going and you’ll soon start to see positive changes.

Parents are often reluctant to ask for help in case people think they’re ‘failing’. But there’s absolutely no shame in reaching out. Often it’s good to try something new, learn a few practical tips and techniques and put them quickly into practice by adding them to your parenting toolkit. We all need one!

Sarah Fisher is a coach, author of two books and founder of Sussex-based Connective Family, an organisation supporting parents, carers and their families. www.connectivefamily.com

 

Nov 02
Love0
mindfulness, primary to secondary school change

Navigating the transition

By Education, numeracy skills, reading, Relationships, Special support needs
by Mrs Sarah Bakhtiari
Principal of Shoreham College

As a headteacher I have witnessed countless children embark on the exciting journey from primary to secondary education. This pivotal moment can be both exhilarating and daunting, not only for the children but also for their parents. In this article, I aim to shed light on this significant transition, emphasising the importance of collaboration between parents and schools, and offering guidance on how to navigate this new chapter with the aim of making it the best it can be for the young person.

Parents: The experts in their child
Parents, you are the experts when it comes to understanding your child. You have nurtured them, watched them grow and know their strengths and areas for development better than anyone else. As your child embarks on this new adventure, remember that your insights and observations are invaluable. Share your knowledge with their new school, as it will help create a holistic understanding of your child’s abilities and needs.

Schools: The experts in education
Schools, on the other hand, are the experts in education. We have dedicated our lives to understanding how children learn, grow and thrive academically and socially. Trust that we will provide the necessary support and guidance to ensure a smooth transition for your child. By working together, we can create an environment that nurtures their potential and fosters their personal growth.

Listening to each other
It is essential to recognise that children can present differently at home and at school. They may exhibit behaviours or emotions that are unfamiliar to you, as they navigate this new environment. It is crucial for both parents and schools to listen to each other, sharing observations and insights to gain a comprehensive understanding of the child’s experiences. By doing so, we can collaborate effectively and provide the best possible support for your child’s development.

The emotional roller coaster
It is natural to feel a mix of emotions as your child moves to secondary school. However, it is important not to let these emotions overwhelm you or your child. Getting on an emotional roller coaster with your child can hinder their ability to adapt and thrive in their new environment. Instead, focus on maintaining a positive outlook, offering reassurance, and celebrating their achievements along the way. Your calm and uplifting presence will provide the stability and confidence your child needs during this transition.

Embracing the journey
Moving from primary to secondary school is a significant milestone in your child’s life. It is a time of growth, self-discovery and new opportunities. Encourage your child to embrace this journey with an open mind and a positive attitude. Remind them that they are capable, resilient and ready to take on new challenges. Encourage them to make new friends, explore new interests and seek support when needed. By doing so, they will develop the skills and confidence necessary to thrive in their secondary school years.

The transition from primary to secondary school is an exciting and transformative period for both children and parents. By recognising that parents are the experts in their child and schools are the experts in education, we can create a true partnership that supports the child’s holistic development. Remember to listen to each other, celebrate achievements and maintain an open and honest dialogue. As a partnership, we are best placed to ensure that this transition is a warm, friendly and uplifting experience for all involved.

Please call 01273 592681 to find out more about what Shoreham College can offer you, or to arrange a personal visit at any time of the school year. www.shorehamcollege.co.uk

Aug 20
Love0
autism laid out

Supporting children with Autism in school

By Education, Legal, Relationships, special educational needs
by Chloe Chapman
SEND Consultancy Services

An estimated 700,000 adults and children have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in the UK – approximately 1% of the population. However, there may be many more who do not have an official diagnosis but have the same profile of needs. If your child has Autism or suspected Autism, school can be an overwhelming and challenging experience.

The NHS website details the common signs of Autism in young and older children. There are also useful descriptors of how Autism can present differently in girls and boys; with girls generally being better at ‘masking’ typical Autistic behaviours, making it harder to spot (and diagnose) in girls.

How do I obtain a diagnosis of Autism?
If you suspect that your child may have Autism you will need to make a referral through your GP or child’s school, which is then referred to a Paediatrician. A Paediatrician will meet your child in a clinic setting and discuss their developmental milestones, and observe how your child plays and interacts. It is important to share any reports written by other medical professionals, and your child’s educational setting. Following this you will receive a written report outlining whether your child meets the criteria for a diagnosis of Autism. It is important to note that waiting lists to see a Paediatrician are often a minimum of 20 weeks long, and in reality significantly longer. It is possible to pay privately for a Health Professional to provide an assessment of Autism; this can typically cost a minimum of £1,500 and sometimes significantly more.

What school support is available for children with ASD?
If your child is struggling with the demands of the classroom or the social aspects of the playground it is important to ask for a meeting with the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo) in the first instance. You will need to check if your child is on the school’s SEN Support Register as this will allow the school to draw up to £6,000 funding to support your child (it is useful to note this is roughly 12 hours of support across the school week). You have the right to ask how this funding is being spent to support your child. Typical support for children with ASD might include a social skills group, structured social groups such as LEGO® therapy, sensory circuits and structured learning activities to support attention span in adult led tasks. Educational settings are able to seek advice from, and make referrals to, outside professionals such as an Educational Psychologist, Specialist Autism Advisory Teacher, Speech and Language Therapist or Occupational Therapist. These professionals will be able to provide individually tailored advice to the school in how best to support your child.

Autistic children can sometimes present with difficult or challenging behaviour in the classroom. This can be a response to the overwhelming sensory nature of the classroom, the number of social interactions that are required or because delayed social communication skills make it difficult to verbally communicate effectively. If your Autistic child is displaying dysregulated behaviours it is important to work with the school to identify possible triggers and support strategies. Difficult behaviours can be considered a means of communication (especially in non-verbal children) so it is important to work out what message your child is trying to get across. Providing alternative means of communication through; Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS), Signing, Objects of Reference or other means) can help to support your child to communicate and reduce frustrated behaviours.

Do I need a diagnosis to apply for an Education, Health and Care (EHC) Needs Assessment?
If your child has ASD traits and is struggling to manage in the school environment it is important to note that you do not need a diagnosis in order to apply for an EHC Needs Assessment. An EHC Needs Assessment is a statutory process through the Local Authority to assess the type and amount of support a child needs in an educational setting (Information about how to apply for an EHC Needs Assessment is on the Local Offer for your area). The types of difficulties your child faces and the way they communicate and behave does not change upon diagnosis; however having a recognised diagnosis can help others understand more about why your child may find certain things challenging. If you are worried about how your child is managing in a mainstream school and would like the Local Authority to consider a special school place you may need a diagnosis of Autism in order to be considered for a space in certain schools.

What if things are not going well for my child in school?
If things are not going well for your child in school (whether or not they have an ASD diagnosis) and they are on an SEN Support Plan you could consider (in conversation with the school) whether to apply for an EHC Needs Assessment. If your child already has an EHC Plan in place you should contact the school and Local Authority to arrange an early Annual Review to consider if the provision in place is working or not.

You can also contact local support groups or SENDIASS (as outlined in the Local Offer) both of which can offer impartial advice. You could also consider contacting an independent SEN Consultant who would be able to discuss the individual concerns regarding your child and advise next steps accordingly.

If you would like more information and advice about supporting a child with Autism then please get in touch.
www.sendconsultancyservices.co.uk chloe@sendconsultancyserivces.co.uk

 

Jul 18
Love0
happy families

Why accepting ‘enough’ will lead you to a happier life

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Becky Hall
author of The Art of Enough

So many of us in everyday life feel that we aren’t enough, or that somehow we don’t do enough. We move between feeling that we lack what we need to meet the challenges of life and feeling that we have too much to do or to cope with in our busy, busy lives. Which is why I think that it’s time to re-claim the idea of ‘enough’ – re-claim it from its association with mediocrity and instead thinking of it as something to aspire to. Learning to accept ‘enough’ will lead you to a happier life.

Let’s start by asking the question, “What is happiness?” We find happiness in the moments when we are aware that we have what matters most to us. When we find ourselves noticing and really appreciating what we do have. It may seem strange but the very act of appreciation and feeling grateful for what we have actually makes us feel happier. Because we realise that what we have is ‘enough’.

Accepting that you are enough is a really practical idea – here are some tips for things you can do to make friends with ‘enough’ so that you can be happier.

1. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have.
So often in our lives we can find ourselves coming from a place of lack. We don’t have what we want, or things aren’t going as well as we wanted. This automatically tips us into a place of scarcity and triggers our defensive systems. We feel we have to protect ourselves, we hoard, we worry. Happiness comes when we are able to really turn our mind to what we do have. Whether we’re talking about our own inner confidence, or our abilities, or even what we have – finding your way to the feeling that who you are, what you do and what you have is enough is a great route to feeling happier.

2. Notice how you are really feeling.
We are emotional beings. All of us have feelings whether we like it or not. When things are tough, so often many of us just plough on and ignore our emotional reality. But this doesn’t mean our emotions go away – they just fester, ready to burst out when we don’t want them to. So instead of pushing them down – learn to notice your feelings and acknowledge them. Talk about them – let them out. The reason that this is a key to happiness is that when we bring things to light we can deal with them and make choices about how we can re-set.

3. Stop comparing yourself with others.
Have you ever had that feeling that you’re just going about your everyday business, perfectly happy with your lot, and then you see someone you know who, in your mind has just a little bit more of what you have? All of a sudden, your happiness turns into dissatisfaction, and you can get disgruntled – you’ve gone from being quite content to feeling that you don’t have enough. Happiness lies in turning this on its head. Focus on what you have, focus on how it makes you feel and resist the temptation to compare with others. You do you – it’s enough. Getting content with what’s enough for you is a great way of moving away from the magnet pull of comparing with others.

4. Zone in on what matters most to you.
Often we can get so swept up in the busy-ness of our lives that we forget to take a step back, pause and ask ourselves the question, “What really matters most to me?” So stop and ask yourself that question. When you do, it gives a really important perspective on life. Focusing on what matters most to you is a great habit – because again, you are putting your energy into what’s important and what makes you happy.

5. Get good at noticing the small stuff.
Happiness, like any emotion, is transitory. It’s not a fixed state, nor is it a magic wand that will solve all our problems. Happiness lives in the small everyday moments – if we take the time to stop and notice. That first cup of tea in the morning, the smile from a loved one, the sky on the way to work. Getting into the habit of not just noticing but really appreciating the small things is what helps re-set our emotions to feeling positive.

Becky Hall is an accredited life coach, leadership consultant and is the author of The Art of Enough

 

Jul 16
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outdoor learning

Empowering our children to become change makers of the future

By Education, environment, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships
by Marcus Culverwell
Headmaster of Reigate St Mary’s School

The world is changing at a phenomenal rate and the education sector needs to respond effectively to this to make sure children are being properly prepared for their future. We need to equip young people with the right skills and knowledge to help them navigate a life where sustainability and protection of the planet are fundamental to the wellbeing of society as a whole. Schools must ask themselves – what will our children be doing in five years’ time? In 10 years’ time? Midway through their career – or, more likely, careers? How will they be changing the world for the better?

So, what can we do now to prepare them for the significant challenges ahead? It is important that children are encouraged to think ‘beyond the bubble’ of traditional schooling and we can help them do this by providing an education that includes:
• Giving back to society and the planet, more than they take – we live on a finite planet and we share our planet too.
• Taking sustainability seriously – practical application now and as future leaders in society.
• Recognising the personal value and economic importance of the natural environment – how eco-systems really work.
• Understanding how STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) can be applied, creatively, to tackle real world problems.
• Philosophy for children – to dig deep into why humanity has got into the ecological predicament we are in, and how we change the story.

At our school we have an Education for Social Responsibility programme (ESR) that encompasses all of the above and helps children to think about the core values that will lead to happy and fulfilled lives, within stable and caring communities while protecting the planet for the future. At the heart of it is a focus on the wellbeing of each of them individually, the wellbeing of teams they will work within and the wellbeing of the planet.

A community outreach programme provides children with opportunities to be part of helping and sharing with the wider community, whether locally or globally. We have a designated member of staff who oversees this and pupils run teatime concerts for the elderly, take part in a Make a Difference challenge in Year 5 and there is a whole-school sponsored walk to raise money to build water tanks in Southern Uganda as well as a dedicated charity day.

It is important that sustainability is taken seriously with issues such as climate change and caring for the planet being woven into all areas of learning. Becoming an Eco school is a good start to this and having dedicated pupil Green Leaders to discuss and implement ways to reduce the school’s carbon footprint is an excellent way to stimulate debate. We also use water butts for left over drinking water, we are careful about use of paper, recycle old pens, encourage walking to school and discourage motorists from leaving car engines idling. Children even build and code model systems such as solar panels which track the sun across the sky.

There is huge personal wellbeing value within the natural environment. To harness this, children should have the chance to take their learning outside as often as possible. Concepts can be taught in relevant and practical ways and often children can solve problems and grasp concepts outside that they have had difficulty with when in the classroom. Connecting with nature is important for wellbeing. Any outside space can be used as a nature reserve for the children to learn Forest School skills, build bug hotels, and generally feel the benefit of being closer to the natural world.

Philosophy for Children (P4C) offers a way to open up learning through enquiry and the exploration of ideas. Children learn that their ideas have value, and that the ideas of other children have value too. They realise that they don’t always have to be right, but they gain the confidence to ask questions and learn through discussion. Each lesson promotes dialogue whereby participants ask questions, sift statements and explore alternatives. Above all, children will generate a greater understanding of each other and appreciate that not everyone believes the same thing, or thinks in the same way – and that is alright. Philosophy calls on imagination and reasoning and puts these capacities to work exploring values, assumptions and vital concepts like justice, truth, and knowledge.

Ultimately, all educators need to support young people to be good citizens, with the confidence to make the right decisions and the skills needed to lead happy and successful lives – lives which are significant in a positive way. We want them to be ideas generators, good listeners, open-minded, considerate colleagues, positive influences, go-getters, self-starters, good neighbours, game changers and change makers of the future.

Reigate St Mary’s is a junior school of Reigate Grammar School (RGS), rated ‘excellent in all areas’ in an ISI Inspection in March 2023. Children enjoy busy days filled with imaginative teaching and exciting adventures focusing on teamwork, creativity, digital learning and communication. www.reigatestmarys.org

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