family Archives - ABC Magazine

Mar 20

Parents feel unprepared to keep their child healthy

By Iain Boyle children's health, Education, Exercise, family, Food & Eating, Health, Wellbeing

Families across England are being left to shoulder growing responsibility for their children’s health as the NHS struggles to cope – often without the preparation, support or trusted advice they need, according to a major new report from IPPR*.

The report says the dual crises of mental health and obesity issues among children have been allowed to flourish as parents have been left at the behest of patchy NHS services that are hard to access.

A survey of over 1,500 parents found that:
• 32% never attended an antenatal class
• 31% do not feel prepared to look after their children’s health
• 19% find it difficult to access professional help for their child’s health when they need it.

The least financially comfortable parents faced particular challenges, as the most well off can often buy their way to better outcomes, while the poorest face the greatest barriers to support.

For example, 81% of the most financially comfortable parents say they can easily access professional help for their child, compared to just 37% of the least financially secure.

When parents do access care, many describe the experience as rushed or judgmental – leaving them feeling unsupported in navigating the realities of parenthood. As waiting times grow, families say they are increasingly turning to private care, DIY solutions or simply hoping problems resolve on their own.

Inconsistent or insufficient advice is pushing many parents to online spaces. The vast majority (85%) told IPPR they “learn as they go”, often piecing together advice from the internet and risking misinformation, overload and anxiety.

IPPR argues that children’s health has stalled because successive governments have been reluctant to talk about parenting – wary of appearing to interfere or blame families.

Parents feel both highly responsible and highly capable of shaping their child’s health. At the same time, parents say they cannot do it alone. IPPR says ministers must stand alongside parents – taking bolder, clearer action on the forces only government can confront. The think tank recommends:
• Universal parenting education before and for a year after birth, delivered on an opt-out basis.
• Government action to make healthy choices the easy choice – improving healthy food affordability, closing junk-food marketing loopholes, tackling tech harms and expanding free offline activities.
• More proactive, easy-to-find community support, reaching parents early, connecting families with one another and offering practical help while they wait for specialist care.

Amy Gandon, associate fellow at IPPR and former senior official on children’s health said: “Families are being left to fend for themselves as the NHS is struggling to support parents. Successive governments have shied away from engaging directly with parents – but in reality they are – and will always be – the backbone of children’s healthcare. If we want a more preventative, community-based NHS, we must start by backing parents with the support, guidance and environment they need to keep their children healthy.”

Sebastian Rees, Head of Health at IPPR said: “Too many parents feel unprepared when it comes to keeping their children healthy. Families shouldn’t have to piece together advice online or pay privately to get the support they need. We need a system that supports parents from the start, not one that leaves them to go it alone. Only then will we lay the foundations for building the healthiest ever generation of children.”

* IPPR is an independent charity working towards a fairer, greener and more prosperous society.

We make today’s bold ideas tomorrow’s common sense.
www.ippr.org

Mar 15

Love0

When the volume goes up, connection goes down

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, family, Mental health, Relationships

by Giulia Galli
Parental Coach

How our words and our tone become their inner voice

Lately, I’ve been noticing a sound that cuts through everyday life – not laughter from the playground or the hum of conversation drifting from kitchens, but shouting. Not the occasional raised voice that slips out in frustration, but the repeated, sharp, heavy kind.

Sometimes it’s siblings snapping at each other. Sometimes it’s teenagers slamming back at parents. And often, it’s parents themselves, shouting at toddlers, at primary-age children, even at babies not yet walking.

One mother’s voice has stayed with me. Every time her one-year-old knocks something over or spills his food, her response is the same: loud, harsh, full of judgement. Every fall of a toy, every food-splattered shirt, every curious gesture that leaves a mark is met with anger. He’s only one. Just one.

And yet, what he is learning isn’t just how objects fall or how sounds are made: it’s what power feels like. What anger sounds like. What happens when you do something ‘wrong’. What it means to be small in a world where big voices rule.

Let’s be clear – this isn’t about shaming parents. We’ve all raised our voices. I have, too. Shouting happens. Sometimes we’re exhausted, sometimes we’re overstimulated, sometimes we’re carrying far more than our nervous system can handle. And many of us grew up with shouting ourselves, so it became the norm.

But here’s the truth – shouting doesn’t teach reflection. It teaches fear. It doesn’t create understanding. It creates compliance. And in children, especially very young ones, it doesn’t build confidence. It builds shame.

Think about it – when a toddler spills water, shouting doesn’t teach them how to hold the cup better next time. It teaches them that trying is dangerous. When a child touches something fragile, a loud scolding doesn’t teach caution, it teaches that curiosity isn’t safe. When a child is overwhelmed and cries, shouting doesn’t teach them how to regulate their feelings, it teaches them that big emotions aren’t allowed.

This is the danger of repeated shouting: it turns moments of behaviour into a story about identity.

“I dropped something” becomes “I’m clumsy.” “I was curious” becomes “I’m annoying.” “I was upset” becomes “I’m too much.”

Those stories stick. And they echo long after the moment has passed.

The irony is that shouting might get us what we want in the moment – it might stop the behaviour. But the cost is disconnection. We silence. We scare. We disconnect. And in that silence, children don’t learn what to do differently. They just learn to feel small.

So what’s the alternative? First, awareness. Notice when the urge to shout rises. Often, it’s not the behaviour itself that pushes us over the edge, but the meaning we attach to it: “He’s doing this on purpose.” “She never listens.” “I can’t take this anymore.” That story is what fuels the reaction.

Second, pause. Parenting gives us endless opportunities to reset. Even a few seconds can change everything. Lower your voice instead of raising it. Name your own feeling: “I’m getting frustrated.” Ask for help: “Let’s take a minute to calm down.” Step out of the room for three breaths before you respond. Replace “What’s wrong with you?” with “Let’s try again.”

Small shifts like these model something powerful. They show children that mistakes are part of learning. That emotions can be managed without force. That connection matters more than control.

Because children aren’t just learning from our instructions. They’re absorbing our example. The words and the tone we use today becomes the inner voice they’ll carry tomorrow.

Think back to your own childhood. The voices you heard most often probably still echo in your head. They may tell you to “be careful,” to “try harder,” or perhaps to “quiet down.” Those phrases, spoken in particular tones, become part of who we are. And now, as parents, we are shaping that voice for our children.

That’s why shouting is more than just noise. It’s a message. And if repeated, it becomes a belief.

This isn’t about never shouting again. None of us are perfect. It’s about noticing, repairing and choosing differently when we can. Even after we’ve raised our voice, we can come back and say, “I shouldn’t have shouted. I was tired and frustrated. Let’s try again.” That moment of repair doesn’t erase what happened, but it teaches accountability. It shows children that mistakes can be mended.

One day, our children will be grown. They may not remember every word we said. But they will remember how it felt to be with us. Was the home a place where mistakes were punished or explored? Where curiosity was stifled or encouraged? Where fear entered the room with us or safety did?

When the volume goes up, connection goes down. But when we choose calm, patience and presence instead, we give our children something far more lasting than obedience: we give them an inner voice that supports them for life.

Giulia Galli is a parental coach and author of When a Parent is Born. She supports families with intentional parenting. For further information please visit www.reegal.co.uk

Mar 05

Love0

The compassionate parenting revolution- How a new parenting approach is transforming family life

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, family, Special support needs

by Dr Jennifer Swanston
Clinical Psychologist and co-author of the Compassionate Parenting Workbook

Parenting has never been simple, but in today’s fast paced, emotionally demanding world, many parents tell me they feel stretched thin. They worry about losing their temper, about saying the wrong thing, or about whether a difficult moment has somehow damaged their connection with their child. These concerns are far more common than most people realise – read on to find out why compassion focused parenting can be transformational.

What compassion focused parenting really means
Compassion focused parenting is not about being endlessly soft or permissive. It’s an approach that blends evidence based knowledge, warmth, emotional awareness and practical strategies to help families thrive. At its heart, it teaches parents how to stay grounded, connected and confident – even when emotions run high.

This approach rests on some core pillars, each supported by decades of psychological research:
1. Self compassion
Parents often speak to themselves far more harshly than they would ever speak to their children. Learning to notice stress, soften self-criticism, and respond with kindness helps parents stay steady in difficult moments.

2. Emotional regulation
When a child’s behaviour triggers our fight or flight system, it becomes almost impossible to respond thoughtfully. Compassion focused parenting teaches parents how to calm their own nervous system first, so they can guide their child from a place of clarity rather than from being overwhelmed.

3. Creating safety and secure attachment
Children thrive when they feel understood. When parents model calmness and empathy, children learn to trust, communicate openly and regulate their own emotions more effectively.

4. Not ‘one size fits all’
We understand that all children are different and that some approaches work for some children and not for others. Compassionate parenting supports parents to really consider which strategy will be helpful for their own unique child, rather than ‘one size fits all’. This is particularly important when you have a child who is neurodivergent or has additional needs.

Together, these elements reduce power struggles, strengthen communication and support children’s long term emotional wellbeing.

What it looks like in real life
Imagine your child is having a meltdown or becoming upset and frustrated at a party when you are about to leave. Instead of reacting with frustration, compassion focused parenting encourages a five step process:
• Pause and ground yourself – a breath, a moment, a reminder that this is hard but manageable.
• Name and validate – “Leaving is tough, and you’re feeling upset.”
• Soothe before you solve – connection first, instructions later. For example, trying to use a warm tone of voice, even during tricky moments.
• Collaborate – offering a gentle, structured next step once emotions settle. This may be giving some simple choices or playful suggestions which can help break the tension and move forward. For example: “We need to leave. Shall we say goodbye now or would you like me to message when we get home?” or “Do you want to hop like a bunny or stomp like a dinosaur to the door?”.
• Reflection – in the hours and days afterwards, consider whether you may need to approach parties differently in the future or plan with your child how to manage the feelings associated with leaving.

This isn’t about letting children “get away with” anything. It’s about helping them move from panic to calm so they can actually take in what you’re saying.

Why it helps children with big feelings
Compassion focused parenting can be especially helpful for children who experience anxiety or strong emotional reactions, as well as those who are neurodivergent.

• For anxious children, we can encourage them to engage in slow breathing, grounding exercises and gentle reassurance to help settle their nervous system and show them they are safe.
• For children with ADHD: Movement breaks, shorter conversations and playful calming strategies can make it easier for them to stay regulated and connected.

The goal is always the same: helping your child feel understood, valued, and supported.

“Will being kind make my child spoiled?”
This is one of the most common worries parents share. But research shows that harsh or fear based approaches may stop behaviour in the moment, yet they can increase aggression, anxiety and long term emotional difficulties.

Compassionate parenting is not about being soft or giving in. It’s about combining warmth with wisdom – offering empathy while still guiding your child toward healthy boundaries and choices.

What if I feel I’ve already got it wrong?
Every parent has moments they regret. The good news is that relationships can be repaired. Honest conversations, small gestures of connection and consistent warmth help rebuild trust over time.

Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who keep trying.

For more information on how to tailor this approach to your unique child, The Compassionate Parenting Workbook’ provides a simple and friendly structure for you to use.

Dr Jennifer Swanston is a Clinical Psychologist and co-author of the Compassionate Parenting Workbook and also director at White Oaks, Chobham. For further information please visit www.whiteoaks.org.ok

Mar 01

Love0

Beyond the bell – Enriching every child’s school journey

By Iain Boyle family, fun for children, Holiday, Playing, Sport, Sprintime, Wellbeing

by Mrs Faye White
Assistant Principal Pupil Engagement, Shoreham College

Education is often understood as the transmission of knowledge: facts learned, skills practised and qualifications achieved. Yet anyone who has worked in or experienced education knows that the true power of schooling lies not only in what children learn, but in how they grow. A truly enriching school journey nurtures curiosity, builds character and helps young people understand both the world around them and their place within it. It is in this broader sense that enrichment becomes not a luxury, but a vital part of education.

Enrichment gives learning depth, meaning and relevance. It allows children to make connections between what they encounter in the classroom and what they experience beyond it. It supports personal development alongside academic progress and helps pupils become confident, resilient and engaged learners. Trips, visits, residential opportunities and clubs all play a crucial role in this process, bringing learning to life and ensuring that education is not simply remembered, but lived.

Trips and educational visits are often a child’s first step into seeing learning in the real world. A visit to a museum transforms history from dates and diagrams into tangible stories. A trip to a science centre allows pupils to experiment, explore and question. A walk in a woodland or along a coastline turns environmental science into something that can be seen, heard and felt. These experiences anchor learning in memory and emotion, making it far more likely to be understood and retained. Beyond their academic value, trips and visits also promote social learning. Children learn to travel together, behave responsibly in public spaces and represent their school community with pride. They learn to ask questions, listen carefully and engage respectfully with experts and guides. In doing so, they develop communication skills, confidence and a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves.

Residential experiences take enrichment a step further by offering children the chance to grow personally as well as academically. For many pupils, a residential trip is the first time they have spent an extended period away from home. This brings with it excitement, uncertainty and challenge, all of which are powerful tools for learning. On residentials, children learn independence in practical ways: organising their belongings, managing routines and taking responsibility for themselves and others. They learn resilience by facing unfamiliar situations, trying new activities and overcoming small setbacks. Whether it is climbing a wall, navigating a trail or performing in front of peers, these challenges build confidence and self-belief. Just as importantly, residentials strengthen relationships. Pupils learn to support one another, to work as a team and to develop empathy and understanding. They see their teachers not only as instructors, but as mentors and role models. These shared experiences build trust, community and a sense of belonging that often carries back into school life long after the trip has ended.

Clubs and enrichment activities further enhance the school journey by offering pupils opportunities to explore interests beyond the core curriculum. Sports clubs encourage physical health, teamwork and perseverance. Creative clubs such as art, music and drama nurture imagination, self-expression and confidence. STEM clubs, coding groups and problem-solving activities promote logical thinking, innovation and curiosity. Gardening, debating and cultural clubs broaden perspectives and develop responsibility, communication and global awareness. These activities allow children to discover strengths they may not otherwise recognise. A child who struggles in the classroom may shine on the sports field, in a rehearsal room or during a practical project. This recognition builds self-esteem and motivation, helping pupils to see themselves as capable and valued learners. Clubs also offer safe spaces for children to take risks, make mistakes and learn from them, an essential part of developing resilience and a growth mindset.

Alongside these experiences, schools should also play a vital role in helping young people connect with their communities and understand the value of contributing to others. Through charity fundraising, volunteering and enterprise projects, pupils learn that they are not only learners, but citizens with the power to make a difference. Many access this through inspiring initiatives such as the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award, partnerships with local care homes, beach cleans, fun runs, food collections and community events. These experiences teach empathy, compassion and social responsibility in ways no textbook can. Becoming a well-rounded adult requires learning not only how to achieve, but how to give; not only how to succeed, but how to support others. The value of this learning is profound, both for the individual and for society, and it is something schools nurture with care, creativity and commitment.

Together, these enrichment opportunities create a holistic education that prepares pupils not only for exams, but for life. They help children develop essential life skills, collaboration, adaptability, empathy, leadership and perseverance. They expose pupils to new environments, cultures and ideas, broadening horizons and raising aspirations. They help children understand that learning is not confined to a classroom or a timetable but is a lifelong journey.

In an increasingly complex and fast-changing world, this kind of education is more important than ever. Young people need more than knowledge; they need the confidence to navigate uncertainty, the curiosity to keep learning and the resilience to face challenges. Enrichment provides the space and structure for these qualities to grow. To enrich a child’s school journey is to invest in their whole development, academic, social, emotional and personal. It is to recognise that education is not simply about preparing children for the next stage, but about helping them become thoughtful, capable and compassionate individuals. Trips, residentials, clubs and community engagement are not add-ons to learning; they are integral to it. They are the experiences that children remember, the moments that shape identity and the opportunities that open doors.

In enriching their school journey, we do more than teach. It is beyond the bell that education becomes experience, and it is through enrichment that every child’s school journey is truly transformed.

Please call 01273 592681 to find out more about what Shoreham College can offer you, or to arrange a personal visit at any time of the school year.
www.shorehamcollege.co.uk

Dec 03

Love0

Co-parenting at Christmas: What it really means in family law

By Iain Boyle family, Finance, Legal, Relationships

by Georgia Oliver
Family Executive, Dutton Gregory

In the world of family law, terms and phrases are often used to describe specific legal concepts or terms such as ‘custody’, ‘visitation’ and ‘child support’, even if those terms have never been set out in legislation. One such term gaining popularity especially during the Christmas period is co-parenting. However, while co-parenting is a widely discussed concept in the media, it’s important to understand that co-parenting is not a legal term.

What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting refers to an arrangement in which two parents, typically after a separation or divorce, continue to work together to raise their child or children. While the idea of co-parenting is rooted in the desire for co-operative parenting, it does not have a formal definition or specific legal status under family law.

Co-parenting is a broad and informal concept. Legal terms must be defined and understood consistently to ensure enforceability in court. Co-parenting can refer to different levels of involvement between the parents, from highly collaborative relationships to those involving limited communication, but none of these variations are specifically outlined in family law legislation.

Why it matters more at Christmas
The Christmas period often puts co-parenting arrangements to the test. With school holidays, family gatherings and strong emotional ties to festive traditions, deciding how and where a child spends Christmas can become a major point of contention.

Many families agree to alternate Christmases or split the day itself, but unless these arrangements are formalised in a court order, they rely entirely on goodwill and communication. Co-parenting can help facilitate smooth planning, but it’s important to remember it has no legal standing. If disputes arise, the court will focus on what is in the child’s best interests, not on enforcing a co-parenting agreement.

How co-parenting relates to family law
Even though co-parenting itself is not a legal term, the approach to co-parenting can have a significant impact on family law matters, especially when it comes to a ‘lives with’ court order and other parenting plans.

If parents cannot resolve a dispute over the arrangements for their children outside of the court arena, then in cases where both parents actively participate in decision-making and the child’s upbringing, the court may make a ‘joint lives with’ order. This allows both parents to be involved in making important decisions for their child, which is consistent with the goals of co-parenting. However, a ‘lives with’ order is a formal legal term, while co-parenting is the informal practice that may help achieve such an arrangement.

Mediation: A helpful tool at Christmas
Mediation is particularly useful during the Christmas period, as it helps parents communicate more effectively and focus on practical, child-focused outcomes. While it can support a more successful co-parenting relationship, it’s still up to the parents to commit to making it work.

Co-parenting encourages collaboration, especially during the Christmas period, but it’s important to understand that it remains an informal concept without legal force. Parents should aim to plan ahead, communicate clearly and prioritise their child’s needs.

At Dutton Gregory, we assist with parenting arrangements year-round including around Christmas and offering guidance on mediation, court applications, and formal orders to help families move forward with clarity and stability. Georgia Oliver is an experienced Family Executive at Dutton Gregory, so if you want advice then please contact Georgia on 01483 755609 or g.oliver@duttongregory.co.uk

Nov 18

Love0

The silent sugar surge – and how parents can help their children eat smarter

By Iain Boyle baby health, Education, Exercise, family, Food & Eating

by Monica Price
Nutritional Therapist

Being a parent can be full of challenges – especially when you have to start navigating food for your children. When you step into any supermarket you’ll be surrounded by brightly packaged snacks, ‘low sugar’ yogurts, cartoon-covered cereal boxes, and juice pouches that claim to be ‘healthy’ or ‘natural’. But behind the clever marketing lies a harsh truth because many of these convenience foods are packed with hidden sugars and they’re contributing to a worrying trend of the rise in childhood obesity and early years health issues, such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and even liver problems.

Sugar isn’t just in sweets. It hides in cereals, granola bars, yogurt, flavoured water and juice, pasta sauces, ketchup, snack packs and shop bought ready-made meals.

Many of these foods are marketed to look like the healthy choice – but even a ‘no added sugar’ fruit snack can have as much sugar as a small chocolate bar.

The UK NHS recommends no more than 19g (about five teaspoons) of free sugars per day for children aged four to six. Some popular children’s yogurts contain more than that in one pot.

So what can you do?
Making healthy food choices for your child doesn’t have to mean cutting out all treats or spending hours in the kitchen.

It’s about education, awareness of food and making small changes to their diet that make a big difference over time.

My top five tips are:
1. Learn to read food labels together
Turn your shopping trip into a mini scavenger hunt – teach your child to spot sugar on labels. It hides under many names, including:
• Glucose
• Fructose
• Corn syrup
• Honey
• Fruit juice concentrate

Aim for foods with less than 5g of sugar per 100g for everyday choices.

Top Tip: If sugar is listed in the first three ingredients – it’s a red flag so avoid it.

2. Reduce sugary snacks
Total sugar bans can lead to obsession or secret snacking for a child so instead:
• Save sugary treats for special occasions, like birthdays or weekends
• Offer fruits, nuts, cheese, or oatcakes as after-school snacks
• Use words to explain to your child so they can understand.

Children learn by repetition and routine. The more you offer better options, the more likely they’ll get used to them.

3. Cook together and talk about food
Children are far more likely to try something if they have helped make it.
• Get them to wash vegetables, stir sauces, or choose toppings
• Talk about where food comes from – what grows in the ground, what animals produce and how it ends up on their plate
• Try growing herbs, tomatoes or lettuce at home or in a pot on a windowsill

This helps them connect food with health and gives them ownership over their choices.

4. Offer variety without pressure
We often fall into the habit of rotating the same four or five meals and snacks our children claim they like, but start to introduce different foods to encourage a healthy gut, stronger immunity and lower sugar cravings.

Don’t stress if your child doesn’t take to a new food right away. It can sometimes take up to 10 -15 tries before a child accepts something new.

Top Tip: Put new foods next to familiar ones instead of replacing them. A few slices of raw pepper beside their usual sandwich for example.

5. Choose water first
Juice, squash and fizzy drinks are the biggest sources of unnecessary sugar for children.

Even 100% fruit juice, while natural, is high in sugar and lacks the fibre whole fruit offers.
• Make water the default drink
• Try adding fresh fruit, cucumber, or mint for natural flavour
• Save juices and fizzy drinks for occasional treats – not as a daily habit.

Remember you are not alone – it’s OK if your child doesn’t eat kale or quinoa – what matters is that you are teaching them to understand what healthy food is, to empower them as they grow older to make informed choices.

You are then setting the stage for life long healthy eating habits – and that is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child.

Monica Price is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, Writer and Broadcaster. She is the go-to expert for health and wellbeing on national television and radio stations across the UK.

www.monica-price.co.uk

Nov 18

Love0

A nanny’s guide to festive calm

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, Christmas, family

by Isabel Kaye
Norland Nanny

The festive season is often painted as a picture of sparkling lights, joyful laughter and magical moments. Yet for many families, the reality is a little different: overtired children, disrupted routines and parents pulled in ten different directions at once. As a Norland-trained nanny, I’ve spent years supporting families through this wonderful but sometimes overwhelming time of year. With a little planning and a few simple strategies, it’s possible to enjoy a Christmas that feels calm, connected and truly memorable.

1. Hold on to the pillars of routine
Children thrive on predictability and during the holidays it’s easy for regular rhythms to disappear. While flexibility is important, keeping a few daily routines makes a huge difference. Bedtime doesn’t always have to be 7pm sharp, but maintaining the ritual of a bedtime story or bath signals security. At mealtimes, your little ones will benefit from consistency especially for younger children, who struggle when they become too hungry amidst the excitement. A familiar routine helps children feel safe, which in turn keeps festive spirits high.

2. Create calm corners
Festive environments are often filled with noise, bright lights and constant stimulation. While this can feel magical, it can also be overwhelming. I often suggest families set up a cosy ‘calm corner’. Create a small space with a blanket, some cushions and a few books or soft toys. This gives children a retreat when things become too much, a quiet spot to regulate emotions before they feel overwhelmed emotionally. Even five minutes of calm space can help them regulate.

3. Keep expectations realistic
Parents often feel pressure for everything to be picture-perfect – the Instagram-worthy tree, matching pyjamas, smiling children on Christmas morning. The reality rarely looks like the advert. Children may be unsettled by unfamiliar relatives, overstimulated by too many gifts, or simply overtired. Setting realistic expectations is the kindest thing you can do for your family. Focus on connection rather than perfection: one joyful moment shared together is worth far more than a forced photo.

4. Share the load
In many households, one parent ends up carrying the emotional and practical weight of the season. As a nanny, I’ve seen how quickly burnout creeps in. Delegation is key – whether that means involving children in setting the table, asking visiting relatives to help with washing up, or ordering food pre-prepared instead of cooking everything from scratch. Children actually love being part of the process – giving them little jobs not only keeps them engaged but also teaches responsibility.

5. Plan ’empty space’ Into the calendar
It’s tempting to say yes to every festive activity like the markets, the pantomime, the carol concert and the Christmas party. But a jam-packed calendar can tip children (and parents) into exhaustion. I recommend leaving deliberate ‘free space’ days in December. These quieter days give families breathing room to reset, whether that’s a pyjama morning at home, a gentle walk or simply a chance to play without schedule. Rest builds resilience and resilience makes the festivities far more enjoyable.

6. Keep traditions simple and meaningful
Traditions are the heartbeat of Christmas, but they don’t need to be elaborate or expensive. In the families I’ve supported, the most treasured memories are often the simplest: baking biscuits together, wearing matching pyjamas or reading the same festive story year after year. Children value repetition, familiarity and shared time more than grandeur. Choose a handful of meaningful traditions and let go of the rest.

7. Care for yourself
Calm is contagious. Children pick up quickly on the mood of their caregivers, so if parents are running on empty, little ones will feel unsettled. Taking care of yourself is not indulgent, it’s essential. Whether it’s a short walk alone, a bath with a book, or simply saying “no” to one extra event, prioritising your own calm helps the whole household. As I often remind parents: you cannot pour from an empty cup.

8. Finally, remember the magic is in the moments
At its core, the festive season isn’t about perfectly wrapped gifts or a flawless roast dinner. It’s about connection, presence and love. When I work with families at Christmas, my role is often to bring the focus back to what really matters: slowing down, savouring small moments and allowing children to experience the magic without pressure. The memories that last are the giggles during a board game, the flour on the kitchen floor after baking cookies or the Christmas story by fairy light.

Isabel Kaye is a Norland-trained nanny based in Bath. She has over 10 years’ experience supporting families with children from newborns to teens, and specialises in helping parents create calm, joyful environments, whether at home, at weddings or while travelling.

Nov 06

Love0

The importance of panto

By Iain Boyle Christmas, family, Music and singing, panto, Relationships, Theatre

by James Stafford
Brighton Family Panto

This Christmas across the UK, we’ll hear thousands of children screaming “Oh yes it is! Oh no it isn’t! He’s behind you!”

For many children, the pantomime is their very first encounter with live theatre. In a world dominated by screens on tablets, phones and TVs, this is a rare and magical experience. Stepping into a theatre, feeling the buzz of anticipation and seeing a story unfold before their eyes can spark a lifelong love of storytelling, creativity and the arts. Unlike a cinema, where children are expected to sit quietly and absorb the story in silence, the panto invites them to participate, laugh and interact. Pantomimes provide a space where their energy and excitement are not just welcomed, but actively encouraged. The theatre becomes a safe, inclusive and lively environment, where children can express themselves freely, shout, cheer and take part without fear of judgement, celebrating their joy and individuality.

There is something uniquely enchanting about watching characters come to life on stage. The huge and dazzling costumes, the sequins, the energetic songs and the larger-than-life personalities create a world where imagination can roam freely. For many families, this first visit becomes a treasured festive tradition, full of laughter, fun and Christmas magic.

The tradition of panto
Pantomime is a uniquely British institution, combining fairy tales and well-known folk stories with music, comedy and audience participation in a joyous celebration. One of the most beloved elements of panto is its sense of fun and humour. The exaggerated characters, playful jokes and larger-than-life performances make children laugh out loud, often at the very things adults have learned to appreciate in a more subtle way.

At the heart of this tradition is the pantomime dame. Children delight in seeing a clearly grown man dressed as a woman, performing outrageous antics on stage. This playful gender role reversal is central to panto, and much of its comedy springs from the dame’s larger-than-life presence. Beyond the laughs, the dame also introduces children to ideas about performance, identity and self-expression. It’s not just funny, it’s formative. Seeing these playful subversions of traditional gender roles can help children understand that identity is flexible, and that theatre is a space where creativity and self-expression can flourish. In a subtle but meaningful way, pantomimes challenge conventions and encourage children to think more openly about who they are and how they might present themselves in the world.

Participation, laughter and imagination
What truly sets pantomime apart is its interactivity. Children are not passive spectators, they are active participants. Calls of “He’s behind you!” and “Oh no it isn’t!” invite them into the story, giving them confidence, a sense of agency and the joy of a communal experience. In the theatre, children are encouraged to be loud, energetic and fully themselves, something often discouraged in other environments. This safe, playful setting nurtures emotional development and social understanding – all whilst being enormous fun.

Pantomime also teaches children the power of storytelling. Heroes and villains, lessons of right and wrong and the triumph of good over evil are presented with music, comedy and spectacle. These early encounters with narrative structure, dramatic tension and humour leave lasting impressions, shaping how children understand stories and performance for the rest of their lives.

Why it matters
In a world dominated by screens, pantomime offers a vital alternative. Live theatre is immediate, immersive and unpredictable. It demands attention, imagination and engagement. It shows children that the real magic happens in shared experience, that stories are best lived as well as watched and that creativity thrives in participation.

Beyond the spectacle, pantomime nurtures curiosity, empathy and emotional intelligence. It encourages children to dream, to imagine and to engage with the world playfully and thoughtfully. And it leaves memories that families carry for years, embedding a love of theatre and live performance that screens alone cannot replicate.

This Christmas, as theatres across Sussex and the UK fill with children laughing, cheering and joining in, we are reminded why pantomime matters. It is more than a festive tradition, it is an introduction to imagination, creativity and the joy of participation. It sparks wonder, challenges perceptions and opens doors to a world of stories waiting to be discovered. For children, the pantomime is not just entertainment, it is an unforgettable first step into a lifelong love of theatre, laughter and imagination.

James Stafford is part of the Brighton Family Panto Team, who have a beanstalk-sized treat for you this Christmas and a panto packed with tons of fe-fi-fo-FUN! 01273 719759 www.brightonfamilypanto.com hello@brightonfamilypanto.com

Nov 05

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The magic of winter storytelling

By Iain Boyle Early Years, Education, family, reading

by Ben Murray
Dukes Education Group Ltd

There’s something about winter that makes stories feel extra magical. Perhaps it’s the early darkness inviting us to gather closer, the hush of snow (or just frosty mornings) creating a sense of wonder, or the way our senses come alive in the crisp air. In Early Years settings, winter storytelling can be an enchanting way to spark imagination, explore language and connect children with both tradition and the natural world.

When we weave together seasonal tales, cultural folklore, sensory props and a dash of drama, we create experiences that children carry with them long after the snow has melted.

Winter is rich in imagery and emotion. There are twinkling lights, swirling winds and tales of journeys through snow. It’s a season full of contrasts: cold outside, warmth inside; bare trees, but hidden seeds waiting for spring. This provides a perfect backdrop for stories that nurture language and imagination.

For young children, the sensory richness of winter – the crunch of ice, the sparkle of frost, the smell of cinnamon – helps anchor storytelling in real, tangible experiences. This sensory link not only makes stories more vivid but also strengthens memory and comprehension.

When selecting winter stories for the Early Years, it’s important to match language complexity, themes and illustrations to the age and stage of the children. Here are some age-appropriate winter favourites:

For two to three year olds:
Snow Bears by Martin Waddell – Gentle, repetitive text and warm illustrations of animal friends exploring the snow.
Owl Moon by Jane Yolen – Poetic, atmospheric, and perfect for introducing descriptive winter language.
One Snowy Night by Nick Butterworth – A comforting tale of sharing warmth on a snowy night.

For three to five year olds:
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats – A classic that captures the quiet joy of a snowy adventure.
Winter Sleep: A Hibernation Story by Sean Taylor & Alex Morss – Combines narrative with factual elements about winter wildlife.
The Mitten by Jan Brett – A traditional Ukrainian tale of animals sharing shelter, with rich opportunities for prediction and sequencing.

Winter storytelling is a beautiful opportunity to celebrate cultural diversity. From Norse myths of frost giants to Japanese folktales of snow spirits, winter stories are found in every culture.

Consider exploring
Scandinavian: Stories of the mischievous Tomte, a small gnome-like figure who helps around the farm in winter.
Eastern European: Variations of The Mitten and other shelter-sharing tales.
Japanese: Yuki-onna, the snow woman – a gentle, adapted version for young listeners, focusing on snow magic rather than fear.
Indigenous North American: Legends explaining how animals survive winter, such as how the rabbit got its white coat.

When sharing cultural tales, ensure they’re told respectfully and accurately and adapt language for age appropriateness while keeping the spirit of the story. Where possible, include visual elements like traditional clothing, patterns, or snowy landscapes from the culture’s region.

Children learn best when they’re actively engaged. Interactive storytelling turns listeners into participants, making the experience memorable and joyful.

Use sounds
• Crunching footsteps in ‘snow’ – scrunch tissue paper or walk on salt in a tray.
• Whooshing wind – soft whistling or shaking a rain stick.
• Animal calls – owls hooting, wolves howling, reindeer bells jingling.

Add movement
• Encourage children to stomp like polar bears, tiptoe like foxes, or sway like snowy branches in the wind.
• Use scarves or pieces of fabric to ‘catch snowflakes’ or create swirling snowstorms.

Bring in drama
• Invite children to take on roles – the bear in a den, the child lost in the snow or the robin searching for berries.
• Use props like lanterns, mittens or soft toy animals to bring the narrative into the physical space.

These techniques make stories multi-sensory, supporting different learning styles and helping even the youngest children stay focused.

Winter storytelling can deepen children’s connection to the changing seasons. Stories can frame nature walks or outdoor play – before heading outside, read a short winter tale. As you walk, look for signs from the story – frosted leaves, bird tracks or bare branches. After returning inside, revisit the story and invite children to retell it, adding what they saw outdoors.

Some ideas for linking nature to storytelling
• Hibernation tales alongside looking for places animals might rest.
• Migration stories paired with spotting birds in the playground.
• Snow and ice adventures connected to exploring frozen water in trays.

This reinforces vocabulary, observation skills and environmental awareness, while keeping the joy of the season alive.

The environment matters almost as much as the words. A cosy, inviting storytelling space can transform a simple reading into a magical event.

Consider:
• Soft blankets or rugs to sit on.
• Twinkling fairy lights or battery candles for a warm glow.
• A small basket of winter props: pinecones, faux snow, mittens or animal toys.
• A backdrop of winter scenery – even a printed photo or fabric with snow patterns.

By creating a distinct space, children recognise that storytelling is a special, shared moment.

As children become familiar with winter tales, invite them to take the storyteller’s seat. This might be retelling a favourite book with picture prompts, creating their own simple winter characters and adventures, or using puppets to act out a scene. Peer-to-peer storytelling not only builds confidence and communication skills, it also gives you an insight into how children are processing and re-imagining the stories they hear.

Winter storytelling in the early years is more than just seasonal fun – it’s a way to build language, foster imagination, celebrate culture and connect children to the natural rhythms of the year. By blending folklore, sensory props, movement and the magic of the outdoors, we can create experiences that warm the heart as much as any mug of hot chocolate!

So this season, gather the children close, let the fairy lights twinkle, and open the door to a winter of stories they’ll never forget.

Dukes Education Group run both Hove Village and Reflections Nursery and Forest School in Sussex.
To discuss opportunities at Hove Village please call 01273 037449 or visit www.hovevillage.com
To discuss opportunities at Reflections Nursery please call 01903 251518 or visit www.reflectionsnurseries.co.uk
Dukes Education Group run both Riverside Nursery Schools and The Kindergartens in Surrey/London.
To discuss opportunities at Riverside Nursery Schools please call 020 3475 0455 or visit www.riversidenurseryschools.com
To discuss opportunities at The Kindergartens please call 020 7326 8765 or visit www.thekindergartens.com

Nov 04

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Nurturing mums-to-be: The gentle benefits of pregnancy massage and holistic care

By Iain Boyle beauty, family, Mental health

by Miki Hussein
Sunflower Holistic Massage

Pregnancy is exciting, life-changing and full of joy, but it can also be tiring. A growing bump often brings sore backs, swollen ankles, restless nights and more stress than you’d like. One simple way to ease some of that is with pregnancy massage. It’s gentle, safe, and designed to help you feel comfortable again. If you are expecting, massage can be a wonderful way to take care of yourself. Alongside reflexology and holistic facials, it helps you relax, release tension and feel more connected to your body as it changes.

Why massage helps during pregnancy
Your body is working harder than ever. As your bump grows, your centre of gravity shifts and that can mean discomfort in the lower back, hips and pelvis. A specially trained pregnancy massage therapist will use side-lying positions and supportive pillows so you feel secure. Massage eases tired muscles, improves circulation and can help with swelling in the feet and ankles. Many women also find they sleep better afterwards.

The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) and UK health professionals note that massage can reduce stress, improve posture, ease headaches caused by tension and help with mood. When your body feels more at ease, you’re more likely to rest well and cope better with the day-to-day.

The emotional side of massage
A lovely extra benefit of regular massage sessions during pregnancy or after birth is the chance to talk with someone who understands. A therapist experienced with maternity work has supported many women through the same ups and downs. That safe space to share how you’re feeling can be hugely reassuring. You might discover that the odd sensations, strange twinges or concerns you’ve noticed are all perfectly common. Sometimes just hearing “That’s normal” is enough to put your mind at ease.

Other supportive therapies: reflexology, facials and holistic treatments
Massage isn’t the only option. Reflexology is a gentle therapy using pressure points on the feet that link to different areas of the body. Many mums-to-be find it helps ease backache, nausea or water retention, as well as promoting better sleep.

Holistic facials can also be a treat in pregnancy. Hormonal changes often affect skin, leaving it dry, oily or more sensitive. A pregnancy-safe facial using gentle products soothes, hydrates and gives you a glow without irritation. These treatments are relaxing as well as practical, helping you feel cared for when your body is changing.

Why organic products matter
Your skin is your body’s largest organ, and while there’s no need to worry, it makes sense to choose carefully what you put on it. During pregnancy skin is often more sensitive, so organic products are a great choice. Therapists who use Soil Association certified skincare avoid unnecessary chemicals and synthetic fragrances. It’s about peace of mind, knowing that what’s being massaged into your skin is safe for both you and your bump.

Safety and timing
NHS advice says that massage is generally safe after the first trimester if you’re healthy, but always check with your midwife or GP if you have complications. Some oils aren’t suitable, and positions need adjusting, so it’s important to see a therapist who is trained in maternity work. Reflexology and facials are also safe when carried out by someone experienced in pregnancy care.

After the baby arrives
Massage doesn’t stop being useful once your little one is here. Postnatal massage helps with tired shoulders from feeding, sore backs from carrying and the general exhaustion of those early weeks. It boosts circulation, aids recovery and gives you precious time to recharge.

Reflexology or a calming facial can also be lovely ways to feel balanced again. Having that hour to yourself is more than pampering; it’s an investment in your wellbeing and helps you feel stronger, calmer and ready to enjoy time with your baby.

Putting it all together
Imagine this: you wake up, bump feeling heavy, back sore from sleep. After a pregnancy massage you feel lighter, more mobile, tension lifted from your shoulders. That evening you finally get a deeper sleep. Add in the relaxation of reflexology or the freshness of a holistic facial and the benefits build week by week. Less stress, fewer aches, more comfort and more confidence.

Pregnancy massage and other holistic therapies are not indulgences. They are supportive, practical ways to make life easier and more enjoyable during this special time – and beyond.

Miki is a mum of four and a therapist with over 20 years’ experience. She has treated hundreds of pregnant women, and while she works with all kinds of clients, supporting mums-to-be is what she loves most. Based in Worthing, Miki uses beautiful organic products such as Pink’s Boutique, and also offers reflexology and holistic facials in a calm, caring space. For further information please visit www.sunflowerholisticmassage.com

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