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Nov 26
Love0
defiant toddler

Teaching your child boundaries

By Childcare and Nannying, children's health, Education, family, Mental health, Relationships, Special support needs
by Michelle Elman
Author, How to Say No

You will remember a time in your child’s life when “no” was their favourite word but as a child hits three to four years old, saying “no”, getting their needs met and communicating how they feel, gets a little bit more complicated. They start to develop Theory of Mind which means they start to get an awareness of the fact that not only can they think, but other people think too. Over time, this realisation turns into the knowledge that if someone can think, then they can think about you and they can also think badly about you.

As adults, you will understand that your own boundaries are usually in conflict with caring what people think, and children also suffer with the same issue, especially when popularity, fitting in and being liked by their peer group is such a high priority. This is where it is important to emphasis the need to keep boundaries in their vocabulary, starting with the simplest and first boundary we all learn – the word ‘no’.

As we all know, children don’t do as you say, they do as you do and therefore practising boundaries yourself is the best place to start to be an example to your children. Learning boundaries isn’t just something you should do for your children though, it can positively impact your life in many ways – from self-esteem, to protecting yourself from burnout, to reprioritising your need for rest and looking after your body. As much as children might struggle to do what you say, if you create an environment where everyone feels listened to, they often start to listen to you more too, if they feel heard themselves.

The word “no” is crucial to understanding how you feel, what you want and it also means that your “yes” has more power. If “yes” is the only word you can use, then that’s the default and your life becomes filled with meeting everyone else’s needs and demands. As much as a child using the word “no” may make your life more difficult as a parent, it’s important to understand that it’s a crucial skill as they grow up and become adults.

We want to foster a sense of independence and knowing how to communicate well, even if they still need to comply with the rules of the household or school. When they set a boundary that is simply not feasible, for example, staying at home alone because they don’t want to attend a family friend’s party, then you are still able to congratulate them on communicating their needs, expressing their boundaries and making them feel heard, listened to and respected.

If you lead with empathy, you are treating them with the respect you would with any adult who has their full autonomy and freedom to make their own decisions. I’m sure you’ve had evenings where you’ve not wanted to attend an event that you previously were looking forward to or there are times as an adult, you just want to be left at home alone to enjoy your solitude. For your child though, that might be unsafe and therefore communicating that to them, not only gives them respect but understanding as to the decision making process.

Saying something like “I know you don’t want to come tonight. I know you are tired and I wouldn’t want to come too if I had as long a week as you have. I can’t find anyone to stay with you last minute though and I do not feel comfortable leaving you at home alone so for your safety, you will have to come with us”. When you come from a empathetic standpoint, you can understand why a child wouldn’t want to go to a grown-up party where they have little in common with the people there, and it is easier to come up with a compromise, for example, “If you would like some alone time though, why don’t you bring a book and we can find a room where you can be by yourself while all the adults are talking?”

Teaching boundaries is also about teaching your children to respect other people’s boundaries so when you set rules about behaviour, make sure you echo the reverse. For example, if they don’t want their siblings barging into their room, then they also have to lHow to say noisten when their siblings say no to them entering their room. Emphasising that we also want to respect other people’s boundaries and giving them the language around boundaries is also really helpful. A boundary might not always sound like the word “no”, it can be “That doesn’t work for me”, or “I don’t like the sound of that,” and when you understand that this is someone conveying their boundaries, not only do they have phrases to listen out for but they have the same phrases they can use themselves.

‘How To Say No’ released by Puffin, is available now.

Nov 13
Love0
make maths fun for children

Incorporate maths into playtime

By Education, fun for children, numeracy skills, play
by Lucy Alexandra Spencer
Tutoring and Alternative Provision Director at Education Boutique,
part of the Eteach Group

When we incorporate maths into play, we create curious problem-solving thinkers who are ready to explore the world.

Incorporating maths into play is a well-evidenced catalyst for developing capable mathematicians, who are comfortable using maths skills in their everyday lives. The National Numeracy Organisation reports that half of the working-age adults in the UK have a numeracy level below the expected abilities for an 11 year old. It’s therefore vital that educators and parents work together to find ways to link maths to enjoyable everyday life events, in order for children to build a positive relationship with the subject and reduce the chance of developing maths-based anxieties and low self-esteem.

The Early Years Foundation Stage Framework sets the standard for providing early play-based maths experiences. It is supported by a report from the Education Endowment Foundation which found that play-based learning can be particularly effective at raising attainment in learners from disadvantaged backgrounds.

So, drawing on the evidence of the benefits, what can busy parents do to easily incorporate maths into play and everyday life routines?

Empowering every home to have a maths role model
By showing enthusiasm for maths and demonstrating resilience to problem-solving, parents can shape a child’s mindset for life. You don’t need to be ‘good’ at maths to be a positive role model. Even if you have had a rocky road with the subject yourself, now is a great time to draw a line in the sand and embrace the opportunities to form a collaborative partnership with your child. Together, you can help them to have fun and explore the wonderful world of numbers, shapes and statistics.

Don’t label the practise
Being ‘good’ at maths is so much more than buying your child every workbook on the internet or learning times tables. Don’t feel like you have to give maths at home a label, especially with younger children. What sounds more appealing to you – “Let’s do 20 minutes of maths” or “Let’s investigate the different quantities of ingredients needed to make the perfect banana smoothie?”

Learning through doing, will help a child develop many skills that link to a range of subjects, reaching much further than just the maths curriculum.

Utilising time efficiently
When your child has number facts or times tables to memorise, you can buy yourself some neon chalk pens and write the information on the bathroom mirror, for example. This means your child will be looking at and thinking about the content regularly, sometimes without being cognisant of the fact they are absorbing information. It’s an excellent routine to establish.

Additionally, creating a car journey routine where iPad maths apps, such as ‘Hit the Button’, ‘Prodigy Maths’ and others could be incorporated can work well. Don’t worry if your car journeys are device-free zones, play some of these great car journey maths games:
• Number plate maths
Make the largest or smallest number out of the numbers on passing registration plates.
• Guess the number
One player thinks of a number and the others in the car ask numeral questions to guess what it is.
• Number tennis
Choose a rule such as ‘add seven’ and go around the players in the car until someone gets out.
• Rule master
Count from one upwards and every time you get to a multiple of 10, create a new rule such as ‘clap instead of saying 10’.

Here are some of my other top tips for integrating maths into play:
• Cooking
The kitchen is a great place to incorporate numbers. Asking children questions such as: “How can we double this recipe?”, “What can we do if this ingredient is missing?” or “Can we cook it at double the heat for half the time?” are exciting ways for them to engage in maths.
• Shopping lists
Giving your child agency over shopping lists by using online supermarkets is another good way to incorporate maths. For example, you can challenge them to find where they can get items for the best price and ask them to organise the weekly shop while not exceeding a certain budget.
• Games
Gamifying maths is often talked about, but some of these may exist in your house already! Dust off Monopoly, a Lego set or try orienteering and geocaching on a sunny day.
• Collecting data
It can be helpful to consider how you can involve your child in collecting data. Family decisions such as holidays or meals can be a great opportunity to do this and for them to present their results.
• Sports
Dart boards can be an excellent resource to learn how to read the minute hand of the clock. Create a clock dart board and when you throw a dart read the minute hand value. How about quick mental calculations with three darts? The possibilities are endless!
• Music
The rhythm and beat of the music is an exciting way to incorporate counting. Games which involve counting in numbers in time to the beat of the music, for example, can work well, as well as counting how many times a certain word is repeated. Investigating speeding up and slowing down as well as recording audio messages may also capture your child’s interest.

Lucy supports children with emotional-based school non-attendance and helps families access LA funding, offering tutoring for children with additional needs. www.educationboutique.co.uk

Nov 13
Love0
oracy

How to encourage your child to develop the life-enhancing skills of oracy

By Education, Language, Mental health, reading, Relationships, special educational needs
by Angela Schofield
Oracy Lead, Excelsior Multi-Academy Trust

If you are slightly confused about the term ‘oracy’, which has recently hit the headlines, you are not alone! To summarise, oracy is about communication skills, gaining the skills to engage with other people’s ideas and express your own ideas so that others understand them. At Excelsior Multi Academy Trust, we explicitly teach, practise and assess oracy skills, and see demonstrated how speaking and listening are equally important for effective communication.

Why is oracy so important?
Research has shown that oracy supports children in their academic learning and also in their emotional and social wellbeing. It helps to develop their confidence and instils a sense of belonging, that their voice is welcomed and valued. It is also has a key role in closing the disadvantage gap. Early language and communication skills are closely linked to attainment throughout schooling, and to earnings later in life. The earlier we start to develop oracy skills, the better.

How can you make learning these skills fun at home?
• Playing fun listening games. Enjoy games such as I Spy, 1-20 or describing an image while your child draws it and vice versa. These are all quick games, which develop listening skills too. To practise listening specifically, read a short text and then give a list of words, can they remember which words were from the text? Simple riddle games are good for this too. Try the one below. Explain that you are going to tell a story and then you’ll ask them some questions about it.

You are the bus driver. There are four people on the bus. At the first stop, two people get off and a lady with a bright red hat gets on. At the second stop, a man with a green duffle coat gets off and a small boy with a big dog gets on. At the third stop, four people get off and three people get on. At the fourth stop, two girls get on carrying a large present with a frilly purple bow. (You can continue for longer depending on the age of your child). Finally, ask the question – How old is the bus driver? (The clue is in the first five words).

• Reading to your child. Hearing you read a story, with all the different voices, is not only fun and a time to bond with them, but it also supports them to understand how tone of voice can change the meaning of words and make it more interesting to the listener. Hearing a fluent reader, while they look at the text also helps children to develop fluency in reading.

• Encouraging the expressing of opinions, agree and disagree with reasons. This develops reasoning skills and vocabulary and shows them that it’s OK to disagree. An excellent thing to encourage is changing your mind when someone has given a good reason. You can also frame questions as talking points to encourage extended responses. There are lots of ways to do this and you can choose serious or silly talk activities. We live in a world with a diversity of opinions and being able to listen, engage respectfully and come to your own conclusion is a key life skill.

Ask engaging, fun questions such as:
If I ruled the world, I would … because …
Agree or disagree, Wonder Woman/Spider-Man/ Superman (pick a favourite) is superior to …
Which is better a shark or a lion? Why?

• Engaging in dialogue (not just talk). Talking to your child at home is important, but the evidence shows that it is dialogue that helps children learn language and social skills. Turn taking in a conversation is the important part, so try to avoid the questions, answer and move on cycle of interactions. Just chatting and exchanging ideas is so important for child development and hugely enjoyable. We all have such busy lives now but setting aside a time each day just to talk with, rather than to, them will have a significant impact on their learning and social and emotional learning.

• Playing with and exploring vocabulary. Begin with one word and find opposites or as many synonyms as you can, or find out where words come from. Biscuit, for example, comes from the French for twice baked. Before the introduction of effective food storage, baking twice reduced the moisture in the biscuits making them less likely to attract weevils! Children find these sorts of facts fascinating. There are lots of examples online but for older children, the Oxford Dictionary of Word Origins is a useful resource as is the children’s book The Dictionary of Difficult Words.

By starting when your child is young, you’ll not only be helping them to develop their communications skills, you will be giving them a priceless gift that will serve them well throughout their lives. A gift they can, in turn, pass on to the next generation.

Angela Schofield is the Oracy Lead at Excelsior Multi-Academy Trust, which supports six schools in Birmingham. The Trust is committed to ensuring the highest standards of academic performance and places communication skills at the centre of its curriculum. Excelsior provides supports to all its schools to enable them to help their children achieve their goals and ensure they are ready for the next stage of their education. Excelsior MAT was shortlisted for the MAT Excellence awards 2023 in three categories: Employer of the year; Inclusivity; and Wellbeing. www.excelsiormat.org

Nov 12
Love0

Garden birds are counting on you!

By environment, Forest School, Nature

Big Garden Birdwatch 2024.  Together, let’s make it count!

The world’s largest garden wildlife survey returns, with hundreds of thousands of people watching and counting the UK’s garden birds over the last weekend in January for the RSPB’s Big Garden Birdwatch.

Over half a million people took part in 2023, counting more than 9 million birds.

This year’s event takes place on 26th, 27th and 28th January 2024. People across the UK are asked to spend an hour watching and counting the birds in their garden, balcony or local park, then send their results to the RSPB.

This year’s event marks 45 years since the first Big Garden Birdwatch. Starting in 1979, it has since become a much-loved annual citizen science event, that gives the RSPB a valuable snapshot of how our garden birds are doing in the UK. Over that time, 185 million birds have been counted and nearly 11.5 million hours spent watching and counting garden birds.

Beccy Speight, the RSPB’s Chief Executive, said: “By taking part in the Birdwatch you are joining hundreds of thousands of people from across the UK, united in a love of nature, to play an important role in helping us understand how our UK birds are doing. Big Garden Birdwatch demonstrates the power that people have when they come together for nature. Join us for Big Garden Birdwatch 2024 and together let’s take action to help birds and other wildlife thrive for generations to come.”

To take part in the Big Garden Birdwatch 2024, watch the birds on your balcony, in your garden or in your local green space for one hour at some point over the three days. Only count the birds that land, not those flying over. Tell us the highest number of each bird species you see at any one time – not the total you see in the hour.

Registration for Big Garden Birdwatch 2024 opens 13 December 2023.

To receive your FREE Big Garden Birdwatch guide, which includes a bird identification chart, top tips for your birdwatch, RSPB shop voucher, plus advice on how to help you attract wildlife to your garden, text BIRD to 82727 or visit www.rspb.org.uk/birdwatch

The parallel event RSPB Big Schools’ Birdwatch takes place during the first half of spring term, 8 January – 19 February 2024. For more than 20 years, the Birdwatch has helped to connect children and their teachers with nature in their school grounds. Registration for Big Schools’ Birdwatch is now live. Further information can be found at www.rspb.org.uk/schoolswatch

Nov 08
Love0
childrens emotional well being

Talking to children about their feelings

By children's health, Education, Mental health, special educational needs
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Children are not born able to understand and manage their emotions. Self-regulation is a skill they have to learn. It must be frustrating for very young children, with little or limited language skills, to try to communicate how they are feeling to others.

They are particularly vulnerable also to the emotional difficulties experienced by their carers. Even though we have mostly put the global pandemic behind us, the profound effect it had upon all of us cannot be denied. The challenges of isolation, increased anxiety and stress affected individuals of all ages and continue to have an impact. Followed in quick succession by a cost of living crisis, the financial pressures that many faced then, have only continued to grow. To safeguard children’s general wellbeing, openly talking to them about feelings and teaching them to recognise emotions in others and themselves is of vital importance.

The early years of a child’s life are critical for development in all areas, and experiences during this period will shape the brain’s messaging systems. When a child feels content and emotionally secure, their cognitive abilities thrive, allowing them to concentrate, learn, and remember effectively. Conversely, when stress overwhelms a child, adrenaline surges through their body, suppressing higher cognitive functions as their system gears up for the fight-or-flight response. Prolonged exposure to high cortisol levels, a stress hormone, can disrupt brain development, particularly in areas responsible for self-regulation, memory, and executive function. Chronic stress in early childhood can lead to a myriad of emotional and physiological problems down the road.

Stress in young children often arises from unmet needs and separation from familiar caregivers. However, this can be mitigated through consistent and responsive adult attention and interaction. Rather than rushing to cheer up or fix a child’s problem, sitting alongside them and acknowledging their emotions, teaches them feelings do not have to be overwhelming and you can navigate them together. Developing curiosity about emotions instead of suppressing them helps children understand they can handle challenging feelings. Assist them to identify and label the specific feeling they are experiencing. Are they feeling anger, worry, fear, frustration or happiness? By doing this, you not only expand their vocabulary but also facilitate their ability to recognise and acknowledge the same emotion when they feel it in future situations.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) plays a crucial role in a child’s ability to recognise and manage their own feelings, as well as understand emotions in others. Yale University have coined the acronym RULER to identify five essential skills for EI: Recognising, understanding, labelling, expressing and regulating emotions. By encouraging children to identify and express their emotions, we equip them with the tools to navigate and communicate their feelings effectively, setting a strong foundation for social and emotional development.

The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) identifies Personal Social and Emotional Development (PSED) as a prime area of learning, critical in a child’s overall growth. Self-regulation and relationship-building are identified as core components of PSED. The early years provide a critical environment for promoting emotional wellbeing, where practitioners can strike a balance between sensitivity, stimulation, agency and consistency to help children regulate their emotions and develop an awareness of their behaviour’s impact. Maintaining a calm and consistent approach while serving as a positive role model, further supports children in understanding how feelings can be managed.

Teach your child that it is perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions, even if some of them are unpleasant. Even emotions like jealousy, envy, or selfishness can tell us something, serve as opportunities for self-reflection and give us insights into ourselves and others. It is important to create a lighthearted and comfortable atmosphere when discussing emotions, as this can prevent heightened emotional responses, particularly when a child feels sad or anxious. While all emotions are OK, not all behaviours are, and young children need to learn how to show their feelings in a way that is effective and appropriate to their environment and others around them.

Practical strategies for encourag-ing emotional intelligence include exploring images of different facial expressions and encouraging children to imitate expressions in a child-safe mirror. You could guide them to map their feelings on a mood meter or think of them in terms of colours, think of the Pixar movie ‘Inside Out’. You can find more about this from websites such as the Zones of Regulation or the Ruler Approach.

In conclusion, it is good to talk. By engaging in discussions about emotions, recognising and understanding their feelings, and providing a supportive environment, we empower children to develop crucial emotional and social skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

Teacher-led Play B C offers fun, yet challenging early education and prioritises relationships. Interaction is judged to be ‘excellent’ and practice has been further validated with an Early Years Quality Mark. More than just a place, at Play B C every day is a learning adventure. Please feel free to contact admissions@playbc.co.uk to arrange a visit.

Nov 08
Love0
early years play

The importance of early years play

By children's health, Education, fun for children, numeracy skills, Playing, reading, Relationships
by Jasmine Holbrook
Imogen Ruby

Playing underpins all aspects of a child’s development and keeps infants active and happy. Through play, children develop their language, emotional, social and motor skills, as well as their creativity, problem solving abilities and imagination. Alongside the benefits for your little one, playing together with your child can strengthen your bond and allow you to join their world. Play develops through a series of commonly observed stages and by altering your play style and the toys offered throughout these stages, you can continue to support and encourage this development.

Play can begin right from birth. Those early movements of a baby’s arms and legs that seemingly have no purpose are actually helping them to learn to move and you can join in by gently encouraging movement. This could be through baby massage, swimming or laying your baby on your chest, tummy to tummy, a great opportunity for eye contact and kisses.

Babies love interaction with another human face, allowing your little one to study your facial expressions. Talking and singing can make this fun for both of you. Tummy time will strengthen their arms and necks and help prepare them for crawling. Using high contrast flash cards and toys, as well as baby safe mirrors, will continue to develop these skills, as well as their visual and brain development and encourage them to continue learning about the world around them.

As a baby begins to move and explore their world further, they are able to engage with toys in a different way and will start to play alone, showing not much interest in other children’s play but developing an increasing focus on what they themselves are doing. Warm interactions from the adults around them, playing alongside whilst still allowing space to enjoy some independence will enhance their understanding and enjoyment. Board books, rattles and sensory toys such as ribbon rings and musical shakers are all great choices for this stage of development.

Commonly, around two years of age children become more curious about what other children are doing, observing without joining in. As your child begins to observe other children playing, you may feel that you want to encourage them to join in but there is no need. This stage is important for children to learn about social cues and to understand the behaviour and rules within social play. Their vocabulary continues to develop rapidly, with discussions about what they are seeing.

Children at this stage will benefit from opportunities to be around other children, but will very much enjoy activities with you such as singing, story telling, early role-play toys and of course, outdoor and indoor physical play.

Social skills continue to develop as children begin to learn to share toys and copy activities, whilst still playing alongside each other without much involvement. Age appropriate toys that can easily be shared and interacted with are important, for example wooden animals, vehicles, chunky puzzles and building blocks.

Children will become more interested in playing with others, in talking and engaging and this develops their problem solving skills as well as their co-operation as they begin to navigate a shared space. During this stage, play is not very organised or focused but they are learning teamwork and communication skills as well as beginning to recognise other children’s boundaries. The best way to encourage this type of play is by creating shared spaces with similar toys, such as several dolls in a shared dolls house, a variety of vehicles on a play road map, or a mixture of animals or dinosaurs within a woodland themed playzone.

Co-operative play is the last stage of play and is vital for social and group interaction. This usually begins around the age of four and continues throughout childhood, bringing together all the skills already learned. This is where imaginative play becomes a key focus of a child’s play as they take on different roles within their imagination. You can encourage and enhance this stage of play in so many ways; for example, playing shops with a shopkeeper and a customer, playing kitchens and tea parties, directing ‘traffic’ in the garden, dressing up, the possibilities are endless.

Playing with your little one can create deeper connections and stronger emotional bonds as well as foster trust and open communication between you. It provides valuable insight into your child’s development and interests, and allows you to better understand their world. Through shared play, you can create treasured moments, enhance your own stress relief and boost your overall wellbeing – there are benefits of play for all of us!

Imogen Ruby has sustainability at its heart; through our organic clothing choices, environmentally conscious toys and passion for reusable cloth nappies. www.imogenruby.co.uk

Nov 07
Love0
ball pit at Godstone Farm

Maximising a family day out

By Education, environment, Family Farms, Green, Mental health, Nature
by Nicola Henderson
Godstone Farm

Getting the best value for your money

In today’s world, with the rising cost-of-living and financial pressures on families, planning a day out that offers the best value for money is essential. Fortunately, with careful planning and consideration, families can still enjoy memorable experiences without breaking the bank. In particular, farm parks present an excellent option, combining a diverse range of activities with reasonable pricing, ensuring a fun-filled day out for all ages.

Here are some helpful tips from an insider!

1. Plan ahead and look for offers and discounts
The key to a budget-friendly family day out starts with thorough planning. Research local farm parks or attractions that offer a wide range of activities suitable for all family members. Before visiting, check their website or social media for special offers, discounts, or family packages. Many attractions provide reduced prices for early bookings or for buying tickets online in advance. Utilise membership cards, loyalty schemes, or annual passes that can grant access to multiple visits at a discounted rate.

2. Make the most of farm park offerings
Farm parks often combine various activities, making them an excellent value for money option. With a mix of animal encounters, indoor play areas, and outdoor spaces, there really is something for everyone. The diversity of activities caters to children of all ages, keeping them occupied and entertained throughout the day. Moreover, farm parks are generally more affordable than city centre attractions or tourist hotspots, making them a budget-friendly choice for families.

3. Utilise meal deals and picnic facilities
Food expenses during family days out can add up quickly. Consider looking for attractions that offer meal deals or have affordable food options on-site. Alternatively, pack a picnic lunch and take advantage of dedicated picnic areas and covered barns available at many farm parks. Enjoying a homemade lunch amidst the beautiful surroundings not only saves money but also allows for a relaxing and enjoyable break.

4. Smart shopping at gift shops
Children often desire a souvenir to remember their day out. Instead of splurging on expensive items, look for attractions with a well-stocked gift shop that offers pocket-friendly options. A section with low-cost items such as postcards, pencils, or small toys will delight young ones without straining the budget. Encourage children to make thoughtful purchases within a pre-determined budget, helping to teach them the value of money.

5. Consider memberships and multi-visit passes
For families living nearby or who plan to visit regularly, memberships or multi-visit passes can be a cost-effective option. Such offerings often come with perks like discounted admission for friends or reduced prices on additional activities within the park. It’s worth calculating how many visits are required to make the pass worthwhile and consider the added benefits it provides.

6. Time your visit wisely
To maximize the experience at farm parks, consider arriving early in the day to avoid crowds and make the most of the attractions. Alternatively, some parks may offer reduced rates for late afternoon visits, which can be beneficial if you have older children who can stay engaged until closing time. Many attractions run off-peak pricing too so if you don’t need to visit in the middle of a school holiday perhaps defer your trip to a weekend during term-time and opt for the local play park when the children are off school.

Creating lasting memories during a family day out does not have to come at a high cost. By planning ahead, taking advantage of offers and discounts and making smart choices during the visit, families can enjoy a fantastic day filled with fun and excitement without breaking the bank. Farm parks offer a great balance of activities at a reasonable price, making them an ideal choice for families looking for the best value for their hard-earned money. So, gather your loved ones, pack a picnic and head to the farm park for a day of endless enjoyment!

Godstone Farm in Surrey offers a wider range of animal experiences allowing children (and adults) the chance to go behind the scenes and experience the many benefits of animal contact. www.godstonefarm.co.uk

Nov 07
Love0
first pregnancy

What makes for an effective birth preparation class?

By Childcare and Nannying, Education, First Aid, prenancy
by Jackie Whitford
www.birth-wise.co.uk

Are you expecting your first baby, or maybe wanting different advice or a different approach for your second or subsequent labour? Well, today you may well be spoiled (or confused) by the many choices and types of class and content on offer. Remember, the cost of the course does not necessarily reflect the quality of that course.

Let’s look at some of what’s available to you:

One day preparation courses
You should be offered an antenatal session (usually a day at a weekend) where you and your partner can attend your hospital’s approved preparation programme. This is usually run by midwives or health care assistants and will cover the physiology of labour, pain relief, breastfeeding, hospital policy and practice, including their policy on induction of labour.

Pros – you will have all the essential practical information and be aware of what to expect of the midwifery service in that hospital from a trained midwife’s or health care professional’s perspective. If you are planning to give birth in hospital, attending their prep session is a good idea – they are also free.

Cons – There may be many expectant parents attending. A lot of information is provided over five plus hours which may be hard to take in, or reflect upon, and discuss within the one day course. There is little chance to establish friendships with other parents-to-be.

Online courses
These are usually promoting a particular approach to labour and birth, and teach to a prescribed set of exercises and labour skills for those keen to have a ‘natural’ birth. Typically these preparation courses are based on hypnobirthing theory as originally devised by the American hypnotherapist Marie Mongan, although a number of British variations to the original programme have evolved.

Pros – Obviously convenience. You can go through the sessions at a time to suit yourself and at your own pace, repeating content if necessary.

Cons – You are unlikely to form local friendships this way. The quality of what is on offer is variable, as is the cost, and there is little or no opportunity for group discussion or any variation to the programme.

Weekly preparation for birth and parenthood courses
These weekly classes (usually two plus hours each class for five or six weeks) are offered from about 32 weeks pregnancy and are a very popular choice for pregnant women.

Each class covers specific topics, with time for discussion and practise of skills taught. Comprehensive weekly classes were started in the l950s by The NCT, although today many independent childbirth teachers offer weekly preparation classes. Women are encouraged to bring their (birth) partners to some or all of the sessions. Course content can vary, according to the affiliation and background of the teacher but should cover physiological labour and self-help skills, pain relief, medical interventions, breastfeeding and early parenthood. Numbers in these classes can be anything from two or three couples to up to 12. Most courses will also hold a postnatal get together when all the babies have arrived.

Pros – This is a more relaxed form of preparation with time to revisit, discuss and practise helpful exercises to assist labour and birth. A good class will take time to share and explore hopes and fears amongst class members. Latest independent research and books can be discussed so that women can feel informed, empowered and in a position to decide what is right for them. Very importantly, usually a strong support and friendship group develops which will be of huge benefit in the early days of parenthood and in many cases lasts for years.

Cons – These classes are usually held in the evenings when you may be tired and also you may not gel with the other women/parents in the group, especially if the group is very small. Also, few NCT classes teach hypnobirthing (which is a programme in itself).

So what else to consider in choosing your antenatal class?
What makes a good teacher? Good antenatal teachers do not emerge from just one place or profession. In fact some of the best teachers of the last 50 years have come from other backgrounds other than midwifery – teaching, hypnotherapy, physiotherapy, anthropology and especially women who have had personal experiences of positive birthing. It is wise to look into the background and relevant experience of your teacher before committing to a particular class – hopefully they will tick several boxes. Antenatal teaching qualifications are not regulated and some ‘would be’ teachers will offer classes after completing just a weekend training course, which issued some certification for paying and attending the course. Recommendations from friends are always a good idea.

In my experience, good antenatal teachers have a real enthusiasm and passion for their subject. They will have a firm belief in the innate ability of women to birth their babies and will spend time and practise teaching skills to aid this. They will also explore variations, special circumstances and medical practices and personal choices so you can work towards the birth you want. The class you choose should equip you for a positive birth however your baby arrives.

Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield.

For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk

Nov 06
Love0

Milestone moments

By Education, Forest School, fun for children, girls school, Girls school, Playing, Relationships
by Naomi Bartholomew
Headmistress, St Catherine’s Prep School, Bramley, Surrey

Life at Prep School is full of firsts. The first time we do anything requires courage and determination which is why I so admire young children and so enjoy watching their early journey through school.

Before joining school, children will have already had many milestone moments – moving from cot to bed, their first steps, their first tooth and many more. The first day of school arrives all too quickly and from there a series of challenges and wonderful opportunities await.

Ahead of starting school encourage your child to engage in creative play. Allow them to solve some of their own problems – when they put their shoes on the wrong feet, pause and see if they can figure that out for themselves. Provide simple choices but limit them to two or three options – I often refer to this as the ‘carrot or peas’ approach. Rather than, “What would you like to eat?” which is a crazy question to ask a pre-school child, offer two alternatives. Give your child opportunities for play games which involve taking turns and sharing as well as dressing up and role-play. Encourage the use of full sentences when talking to your child. Avoid comments like, “Mummy wants you to come over and help” and start to use, “Please can you come and help me” and “Thank you”.

The first day of school is a major event but don’t overplay this. You will have spent considerable time and effort choosing the right school, trust your instincts and remain calm and positive. Allow plenty of time for the school run on the first morning and leave as quickly as you can once your child is in the classroom and starting to settle. Your child will spend the day learning names of the other children in the class, being shown their immediate environment and they will most likely come home exhausted but happy.

During the first term, establish a good rapport with your child’s teacher and encourage their early reading and writing at home as advised by the school. Ask what happens in the book that they are reading and help with extending their vocabulary to include words such as ‘first, second, finally.’ Don’t be scared to use the correct vocabulary – if your child can recite Hickory Dickory Dock they can learn the correct vocabulary and should be moving away from pet names for things.

You will hear about the first falling out between friends. If you have watched ‘The Secret Life of Four Year Olds,’ you will see these happen frequently and are as quickly resolved. There will be moments where your child’s effort and success is recognised and other moments when they feel overlooked or left out. They are still in egocentric infant mode and it is important to remember that you are hearing a four year old version of events.

The first nativity with lines to deliver, songs to sing and the chance to ‘perform’ in front of an audience. They are likely to be apprehensive especially post pandemic but also excited to show their newfound confidence. Your child will want to please you, please their teacher and be starting to want to please their peers by this stage. Frantic waving and trying to get their attention from your seat in the audience is adding pressure to an already fairly daunting experience for some. By all means wave on arrival and reassure your child that you are there but try to keep it discrete.

By the end of the first year your child will be very attached to their first teacher and the school will prepare them for moving on to a new class, possibly with new pupils arriving too which can change the dynamic amongst the class. Over the first long summer break encourage more constructive play which requires your child to build things, take things apart and put them back together. Go on walks, build dens in the garden, start to ride a bike. Check table manners and correct use of cutlery and ‘please and thank you’s.’ Use the days of the week more and continue with reading and basic writing.

Then come swimming lessons, possibly picking up an instrument for the first time, presenting in assembly and taking on minor roles of responsibility within the class (taking a message to the office or assisting with classroom chores). You will increasingly feel that you are not there for every milestone moment. This is important as your child will be forming a self-esteem based on their sense of their own achievements and by six we hope finding intrinsic motivation. They will be working out that effort impacts outcomes and they will be turning to peers to share their achievements. Winning the sack race, learning their times tables, holding the door open for a visitor, sharing their snack at break are all equally important.

Each of these little steps are in fact giant leaps. Here at St Catherine’s we aim to capture the magic as it happens and share it with you when we can. We ask the children to give everything a try and to step out of their comfort zone with as much confidence as possible. Learning at this age must be fun and curiosity must be fostered. Enjoy the milestone moments – they are to be cherished.

St Catherine’s is situated in the village of Bramley, four miles south of Guildford, which has fast train connections to London. Prep School girls benefit immeasurably from the world-class facilities of the Senior School, including the extensive grounds, 25m indoor pool, sports hall, dance studio, magnificent auditorium and 19th century chapel. Girls from age four engage in a full and varied curriculum which includes music, IT, ballet and sport delivered by dedicated specialist teachers. Our Patron, HRH The Duchess of Cornwall, said on a recent visit, “You are all extremely lucky to be at such a wonderful school.” www.stcatherines.info

Nov 03
Love0
empowerment

The importance of empowerment

By children's health, Education, Health, Mental health, Relationships
by Project Female Dance Ambassador

Empowerment is a sort of internal permission, a confidence instilled by either yourself or the situations you find yourself in. It is defined as “authority of power given to someone to do something”. As a young person, empowerment can act as an important remedy to the societal pressures faced daily.

It feels like expectations of perfection lurk around every corner for young people. They turn on their phone and are bombarded with unrealistic images of perfection. In class there is the feeling that they would rather not raise their hand than answer incorrectly in fear of classmates and teachers thinking they’re stupid. Even at home there seems to be an expectation held by parents for their child to be a certain way. All of these experiences equate to a society of young people who are paralysed by insecurity.

empowering peopleEmpowerment has the potential to liberate young people from these expectations and pressures. Empowerment enables young people to find their voice, their place in this world and feel important and heard. Empowerment is the enemy of insecurity, and through engaging with activities and communities that make young people feel empowered, they grow in a confidence that can be applied to every aspect of their lives.

Inclusive spaces committed to creating a judgement free environment, allow young people the permission to be confident, to have fun without concern for what other people in the room are thinking and be empowered in a way they don’t often experience elsewhere. We see the relief young people experience when they are able to put all of those pressures and expectations aside and just focus on being in the room and enjoying the activity with people they feel respected by.

With a physical activity like dance, an inclusive space mobilises a type of empowerment that encourages creativity and freedom without the fear of judgement. Movement within dance is choreographed to be unique and can sometimes push you out of your comfort zone. Empowerment can be used as a tool to get over that feeling of awkwardness and express your individuality. Within an inclusive dance space there is no expectation of how you should look or act and a nurturing environment is created through the knowledge that you are surrounded by people who share similar interests and experiences. Empowerment in dance is extremely important as it gives the dancers permission to freely throw their bodies around, take risks and try new things confidently.

The young people we work with have said dance has made them feel more empowered. They’ve reflected that dance validates them when they’re feeling down or insecure. It distracts and offers them a creative escape when the pressures of society become too much. It motivates them to keep improving. The confidence they experience within the four walls of the studio becomes evident in other aspects of their lives such as school and socially.

Everyday we witness dance instilling and securing a sense of empowerment within the young people we work with.

Project Female offers a range of inclusive dance classes for 4 year olds to adults. Learn new routines, build confidence and develop creativity and expression in a fun environment. www.projectfemaleuk.co.uk

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