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Aug 08
Love0
happy schoolgirl

Is my child ready for school?

By Education, Relationships, Summer
by Lianne Morrison, Head of Pre-Prep, Lancing Prep Hove and
Jovita Opio, Nursery Manager, Little Lancing Day Nursery & Forest School

Transitions can be tricky hurdles to negotiate at whatever point in life, and for very young children, changes are often an unsettling experience in their daily lives. These can include the birth of a new sibling, moving house, changes in family living arrangements, bereavement and last but by no means least going to school.

It is one of the most momentous transitions in their Early Years journey when a child faces the step up into the Reception year. It can be emotional for parent/carer and child alike. For parents it can seem like only yesterday that their child was just a tiny bundle of joy in a buggy and now, in a flash, here they are looking very grown up in their new school uniform – where did those years go? For the child, there can be equal parts excitement and nervous butterflies as they get ready to join a school where much will be new.

‘School readiness’ is a phrase that can quickly become a preoccupation for parents whose children will be making this transition, but what does it mean? It can be hard to define precisely, and how ready a parent feels their child is for school can often turn out to be something rather different to how ready the Reception teachers feel a child actually is. This is evidenced in a recent survey, where 9 out of 10 parents thought their child was school ready and teachers only thought 1 in 3 children were! So, it’s useful to know what school readiness means to schools and how parents can work with their child, and their child’s early years setting or childminder, to ensure that their child is well prepared for the years ahead.

Top of the list is likely to be a child’s growing sense of independence. Practical skills will help build this and there are some very simple ways that the parent/carer can incorporate these into daily routines at home. These skills cover personal care, from being able to dress themselves without too much help, negotiate buttons and zips, to being able to put on and take off shoes and outdoor clothes, using cutlery at lunchtime and drinking from an open cup. Probably the most important personal care skills are using the toilet and washing and drying hands effectively.

Language skills are another key area. Studies show that children who have enjoyed lots of conversations and been read stories daily prior to starting school had a richer vocabulary compared to those who were less exposed to these experiences. The ability to communicate and use simple language can help enormously with settling into a school community. Talking to others about what they have been doing, what they have experienced or just chatting about the world around them is something they already do at home but extra practice will build confidence in expressing themselves. Singing nursery songs or chanting nursery rhymes is a fun way of joining in at school, particularly when these are already familiar to them and they enjoy the sounds and hand actions. Language skills can of course vary enormously at this age but if a child knows how to ask for help in simple terms, it can minimise feelings of stress in classroom situations.

Children will also have begun to learn social skills, build relationships and develop communication. The three key components of this are learning to listen, understanding and following simple instructions and starting to build resilience. This will enable them to concentrate for short periods of time to start with, engage with tasks and to persevere when something doesn’t go quite right!

Sparking curiosity can play a significant part in this. Learning about the world about them, imaginative play, sharing story books and talking about the characters and pictures are all activities that children will encounter in school, alongside creative skills such as drawing, colouring and painting and simple construction activities which help develop fine motor skills and improve coordination. Children accessing nature is a great way to spark curiosity and learn about the world around them.

Interacting appropriately with others is another important skill that parents/carers can support at home. Understanding feelings and being able to discern what other children are feeling is important. Learning to take turns with toys and practising sharing can help children to understand that they need to consider others. Children can begin to learn to recognise emotions and reactions of others by talking about how they feel or how they think another person is feeling. Beginning to understand what a friend is feeling, or if something is making them sad, can help to build relationships. These skills can be practised by looking at a story book with a parent/carer and talking about how the characters might be feeling. Setting boundaries for their own behaviour, and that of others, so that they know when, and how, to say no to something that makes them feel sad or cross or uncomfortable is another skill that can be developed at home.

For children to easily adapt to the routines of school life, healthy routines at home will help them. It is so important that children get the rest they need and are ready for school each morning, so a consistent bedtime routine, healthy limits to screen time and a supervised tooth brushing regime twice daily are recommended, along with eating a healthy, balanced diet. These factors all come together to help new Reception children become healthy and happy learners.

There is plenty of help available for parents to navigate their family’s way through to school readiness. It’s important to remember that children develop at their own pace, right from the day they first enter the world, and some may need a little more help than others when it’s time to get to grips with moving to life at school.

Whatever experience a child has had prior to going to school, it is still a huge step. For some, previous experiences might be attending a daycare nursery or being cared for by a childminder. For others, they might have been attending a preschool attached to a school. Some might be joining straight from home, possibly where they were looked after by a parent, family member or a nanny, without ever having attended an Early Years setting with other children their age.

Early Years settings and childminders should have a good grasp of how they need to work with the children to prepare them for joining school. They are well-versed in the transition process for their preschoolers. Firstly, there is the strong bond with parent/carers which ensures setting and families work together. Secondly, contact is established between the setting and the school the child is joining, typically with nursery visits from Reception teachers and school readiness events at the school prior to the start of the new school year in September. Early Years practitioners share their knowledge of the child and their developmental milestones (with parental permission of course) and in that way the school can gain insights into the child, and into any particular needs they may have, and the nursery can help prepare the child for this important step in their Early Years journey.

If a child has been in a preschool attached to a school, whether state maintained or independent, the transition will likely be very easy for the child and their family alike. They will be familiar with the school buildings and there will be a natural progression moving from preschool to the main part of the school. Some schools will employ qualified teachers to lead their preschool so the teaching style of their new Reception teacher will also feel familiar. For many families, the move from preschool to Reception in the same school will be a seamless process.

If a child has been more home-based, then the transition might be a bigger step and they may well benefit from attending a nursery or their planned school’s preschool, for at least a couple of days a week in the final year before they start in Reception. It will help them to begin to acquire the valuable social and communication skills that will stand them in good stead for life among their peers. Parents may have their own social and support groups with other families and this can also provide good opportunities to collaborate with others who are in the same situation.

If a parent is concerned about their child’s development, or their child has additional needs, such as EAL or SEND, there is support available to families. Parents should share as much information as they can with the school to help the child settle into Reception and work with their child’s current care provider, whether a nursery or a childminder. Health visitors or family hubs can also support families with more information and resources.

There is so much that can be done to help to increase independence and build confidence that will help the child to feel ready, both in practical terms and emotionally, for school. Practise within the home environment will reinforce what the nursery, childminder or preschool are working on with the child. What’s truly important is that everyone works together to ensure that the transition is a positive experience and children set off for school excited and confident at what is to come.

The Lancing College family includes its two Prep Schools located in Hove and Worthing and Little Lancing Day Nursery & Forest School which offers day care all-year round for children aged two months and over. www.littlelancing.co.uk www.lancingcollege.co.uk

 

Aug 08
Love0
happy family

The mindful family holiday

By environment, family, Family Farms, fun for children, Holiday camps, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Adry Capodanno
The Holiday Fixer

10 tips to make travel more memorable (and less expensive)

Family holidays don’t have to be expensive or packed with attractions to be unforgettable. In fact, the most powerful memories are often born in the small, ordinary moments – especially for children. When we shift from “doing more” to “noticing more”, the whole experience becomes richer, calmer, and often, more affordable.

Mindfulness on holiday simply means approaching the trip with a little more intention – and making space in the day for your child to fully experience where they are.

Here are 10 experience-backed ways to bring more presence, connection and lasting joy into your family holidays – without overloading your itinerary or your wallet.

1. Even a simple holiday is a big deal for children
As adults, we often crave ease – a familiar resort, a beach where we don’t have to think, or a well-trodden ski route. It’s easy to feel like we’re just “recharging”. But for children, even the simplest holiday is an exciting experience. The texture of hotel bedding, the sound of a different language, the way the sun feels in a new place – it’s all new. You don’t need to seek out constant stimulation. That hotel breakfast buffet may feel routine to you, but for a child, it’s exciting and fascinating.

2. Leave ‘breathing room’ in the day
There’s a temptation to make the most of every moment, especially if the holiday has been hard-earned. But over-scheduling leaves everyone overstimulated and tired. Instead, keep the itinerary light. Aim for one or two structured plans per day, and let the rest unfold. That half hour spent sitting in a town square eating crisps, or watching snow fall outside a café window, often becomes the memory they talk about later.

3. Begin the experience before you even leave home
Children connect more deeply to places they feel familiar with. Introduce your destination early – through a short video, a picture book, or a few fun facts. Learn how to say “hello” and “thank you” in the local language. When your child sees that same flag, animal or landmark in real life, the recognition brings pride and excitement – “I know this!”

4. Use a destination-themed holiday bingo
This is a brilliant way to help younger children stay engaged. Create a bingo card with images specific to the location: a monument, the local flag, a food item, a traditional costume or a certain animal. The moment your child spots one and ticks it off, it becomes a little victory and the thrill on their face is priceless! It turns sightseeing into a game, and gently encourages them to look around more closely.

5. Let their senses lead
Taste, smell and touch are powerful memory anchors. If your child falls in love with a pastry or gelato, let them have it again – consistency helps memories stick. Let them choose a local soap or spice to take home. A few years from now, that scent might take them straight back to a tiny village bakery or the steps of a museum.

6. Invite them to observe and create
You don’t need to give them a travel journal – though some children love that. A disposable camera, a sketchbook, or even a prompt like “What do you think is the story of this small cafe?” helps children engage with their surroundings. Drawing a lighthouse, taking a photo of a street performer, or collecting small treasures like ticket stubs or postcards adds personal meaning to the trip.

7. Let them interact with the place – not just watch it
Encourage small interactions. Let your child say “merci” at the bakery, ask the tour guide a question, or learn a game from local children. You are teaching them that the world is full of people with different ways of life – and that it’s OK to be a guest in someone else’s culture.

8. Give children a say
Let them help make decisions – choosing between two places to visit, picking a route to walk or a plan B when it rains. When they feel part of the process, they’re more present and interested, they gain a sense of agency and connection to the journey.

9. Mix destinations – strategically
If possible, include more than one stop. Studies in cognitive psychology show that the brain segments memory by context and environment. A few days by the sea, followed by time in a town or mountainside village, creates variety. A shift in scenery helps children form clearer, more durable memories. The key is to transition thoughtfully, not rush.

10. Keep the story going at home
When you get home, print a few photos. Let your child pick their favourites. Display a postcard, a shell, or a drawing. Talk about the best bits over dinner. Retelling the story of your trip helps children internalise it and treasure it.

You don’t need to do more, or spend more, to give your children a meaningful holiday. Instead, notice more – and help them do the same. The real luxury lies in unhurried time together, where the pace lets moments breathe and children can connect with the world – and with you.

Whether you’re surfing down a sand dune, exploring a Christmas market, or watching fish dart under a pedal boat, it’s the moments you truly share that will stay with them the longest.

Adry at The Holiday Fixer specialises in expert, high-quality, bespoke travel itineraries worldwide, with a focus on family holidays and friendly, stress-free, parent-to-parent service. Your next adventure is just a chat away! Contact Adry at adry@theholidayfixer.com or 07583 581042.

Aug 08
Love0
loving dad

Preparing dads for fatherhood

By family, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Gordon Dowall-Potter
MANtenatal

Why support matters more than ever

For many men, becoming a father is one of life’s biggest milestones, and one of its biggest unknowns. While conversations around motherhood are supported by books, classes, apps and appointments, fatherhood is often treated like something that will “come naturally” once the baby arrives.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t always come naturally. And when men don’t feel prepared, confident or supported, the impact can ripple through their relationship, affect mental health, and family life.

Men want to be involved, but are often left guessing
The idea of dads standing awkwardly in the background while mum does everything is outdated and most modern fathers want to be hands-on from the start. They attend scans, they take paternity leave (when they can), and they’re often just as excited, and nervous, about what lies ahead.

But despite the willingness, many men describe feeling unsure, sidelined or invisible during pregnancy and the early days of parenting. Antenatal services tend to focus on maternal needs (as they should), but that leaves a lot of dads guessing about what their role is and how to prepare.

Antenatal education aimed at men can make a huge difference. It offers emotional insight, relationship tools and practical parenting skills, delivered in a way that speaks to dads directly and honestly.

This is exactly why I set up men’s antenatal classes, to educate, guide and support all dads, no matter their background, relationship status or starting point. Too often, men are expected to simply “know what to do” without ever being shown how. These classes offer a space where dads can ask questions, build confidence, and prepare emotionally, without judgement or jargon.

It’s all part of my personal mission: No Dad Left Behind. Because when we give dads the tools and the time to prepare, they show up for their partner, their baby and themselves. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. #BestDadYouCanBe

Mental health: A quiet concern for new dads
Research shows that around 1 in 10 fathers experience postnatal depression, although professionals suggest the real figure may be much higher. Unlike mums, who are routinely screened and encouraged to open up, many men still feel they need to push through alone and in silence.

Some don’t recognise the symptoms, brushing off low mood, irritability or withdrawal as tiredness or stress. Others worry that admitting they’re struggling could be seen as weakness. This silence can lead to emotional distance, tension at home and longer-term mental health issues if not addressed early.

Open, honest support and early intervention is the key – and that starts with normalising the idea that fatherhood can be just as overwhelming for men as it is for women.

The benefits of being prepared
When dads are supported in their transition to fatherhood, everyone wins.

Children benefit from stronger bonds with both parents. Partners feel more supported and less alone. And dads themselves feel more confident, connected and capable. Even knowing how to be helpful – in the birthing room, what to say, how to advocate, what not to take personally, can make a huge difference to how included and empowered a father feels.

Being a dad today is about more than providing. It’s about showing up emotionally, being present and being part of a team. But none of that happens by accident, it takes preparation, and it takes space for men to learn and grow without judgement.

Where we go from here
If you’re a mum-to-be reading this, one of the most powerful things you can do is involve your partner in the preparation process. Whether it’s recommending a class, sharing resources or even gifting him a course designed for dads, it sends a clear message: we’re in this together. It can help him feel included, informed and more confident about what’s to come.

And if you’re a dad reading this, well, you’ve already taken an important step. Just by engaging with this conversation, you’re showing up. You’re seeking support, wanting to understand more and laying the groundwork for being the kind of parent you want to be.

The truth is, fatherhood isn’t something you’re expected to just “know” how to do. Like anything else, it takes learning, patience and support. That support is out there and we’re here to help you find it.

Parenting is a shared experience. When both parents feel informed and supported, families are stronger, relationships are healthier and children thrive.

No dad should have to navigate this alone and with the right support, no dad has to.

Gordon Dowall-Potter is the founder of the multi award-winning MANtenatal programme – the UK’s leading antenatal education platform designed specifically for dads-to-be. Gordon works alongside NHS services and perinatal professionals to improve education, awareness and emotional support for men as they prepare for fatherhood. Learn more at www.mantenatal.com

Jul 10
Love0
child home alone

Home alone

By Childcare and Nannying, houses and property, Legal, Relationships, Safety
by Hayley Garner
NSPCC Local Campaigns Manager

For parents and carers, the summer months can be a tricky time as they try to balance the school holidays with work and childcare commitments. Many might be wondering whether their child is ready to be left unsupervised, or may have concerns about someone else’s child being left alone.

While there is no legal age a child can be left home alone, it is against the law to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk. Every child matures differently, so it would be impossible to have a ‘one size fits all’ law.

As a general rule babies and toddlers should never be left alone. This applies not just to leaving them home alone but also in your car while you run into the shops.

A very young child or one who does not feel comfortable should never be left home alone.

We would also recommend against leaving children under 12 alone, particularly for long periods of time. Children aged six to 12 years are usually too young to walk home from school alone, babysit or cook for themselves without adult supervision. It is worth considering leaving them at a friend’s house, with family or finding suitable childcare.

Once your child is at secondary school you could talk to them about how they would feel if they were left alone at home. Whether they are 12 years old or almost 18, there might be reasons they don’t feel safe in the house alone, and it is vital they feel comfortable and safe being left unsupervised.

If your child feels ready to be left at home alone, there are some simple things you can do to help keep them safe.

Set some grounds rules Make sure they know what to do if the phone or doorbell rings. Write down all your contact numbers and the numbers of friends and family in case you can’t be reached. Agree in advance if friends are allowed over.

Practise what to do in an emergency
Even though it is unlikely it is best to prepare for anything that might go wrong while you are out. Come up with a safety plan for different scenarios, such as a fire or burglary.

Make sure they are really safe online
Consider if there are any games or sites they might have access to while you are out that might upset them or put them in danger. Discuss what they are allowed to do while you are out and remind them not to give out any personal details online. More information on staying safe online can be found on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk

Be clear about when you will be back
Make sure they are clear about what time you will be back and how you will let them know if your plans change.

Check in with them
Give your child a call every so often. If it is the first time they have been left alone, try to check in regularly. Even if your child is older and has been left home alone before, you should still check in once every few hours, particularly if you are out late.

Build up slowly
Leave them for a short time at first, no more than 20 minutes, then build up over time and keep checking in to make sure they are comfortable. Being left home alone for an hour is very different to being alone for a whole afternoon or overnight. We would not recommend leaving your child home alone overnight if they are under 16 years old.

You can find more advice on how to keep your child safe on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk. Children can find support at www.childline.org.uk or by calling 0800 1111 and speaking to a trained Childline counsellor.

Adults with concerns about a child can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000 or by emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk

 

Jul 03
Love0
schoolkid learning

Building independent learning in the early years

By Early Years, Education, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Michelle Thurley
Head of Early Years at Little Amesbury, Amesbury School, Hindhead

It is said that ‘play is the work of childhood’, and it is well known and understood that the first five years of a child’s life are absolutely crucial in setting them up for success in later learning and life. Before the age of five children are at their very peak of natural curiosity, enthusiasm and brain capacity for new learning. Good quality early years education is all about teaching children the tools to harness their desire for independent learning. Teaching children how to learn and how to interact, and equipping children with these skills will give them the confidence and ability to learn independently for the rest of their school careers. So how is it done well?

The importance of play and free flow
In the early years children learn through play. In many other European countries children do not even begin the formal business of educating in maths and English until age seven. Instead, in such countries the early years’ curriculum encompasses lots of learning through play. In reality the two approaches are quite aligned.

Play is profoundly important when it comes to children’s social, emotional and cognitive learning. It allows children to pretend, to take risks, to explore and follow their own desires and interests. They learn to negotiate and communicate with their peers. Play also provides opportunities for children to control their emotions and behaviour. At the same time, it teaches skills like creativity and problem-solving.

A nursery or classroom set up that allows children to learn through play and explore in this way is a key component in developing their independence. ‘Free flow’ between activities and the outdoor space is vital in providing the physical environment to stimulate children and give them the confidence to build their independent learning. This typically means a formal activity then three or four complimentary activities being set up and explained to the children for them to go and enjoy, with the child leading their own choice of activity. For instance, a maths based early years activity could look like this; the children are digging in the sand and having fun, yet each child has been tasked to find three objects hidden in the sand. The preschoolers are all finding three different types of leaves at forest school, vs just collecting leaves. The variety of provision being notably inside and outside the classroom.

Bringing learning to life
Appealing to the broadest range of learning experiences possible in rich, creative ways to pique learning interest is the best approach. A teacher will refer to the ‘seven areas of learning’, from academic learning in literacy and maths, real-world exploration, physical activities, communication and language, expressive art and design and personal social and emotional development. A quicker short form for parents to remember is to nurture the ‘PIES’, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Social aspects of the life of their child. A rotation of rich and exciting opportunities to learn through play to ensure all of these vital areas of early learning are captured is key to building the independent learner early on.

Varying how learning is delivered is key, a range of materials, song, music, games and objects – giving children access to real objects as well as toys. Using a rich range of resources, like iPads or interactive whiteboards where children can select a worksheet, all build a child’s skills and give them agency in their own learning. Also allowing an activity to run on if children are very engaged is to be encouraged – early years learning is the best time for flexibility in the timetable. Getting outside, access to mud and leaves and weather, and opportunities to dress up and pretend within the school day are key to capturing a child’s imagination. I greatly enjoy teaching phonics with at least two of the class dressed as princesses or a superhero.

Recently, this provision in professional educational settings has become increasingly specialist. It is now more common for early years settings to offer specialist music, dance, languages, forest school and even Makaton and specialist sports. This is clear evidence of the need to offer the most ‘high definition’ learning possible to build independent learning.

The best illustration I can offer of independent learning starting to really take shape is a recent anecdote. One of the children I teach has been learning about the UN rights and responsibilities of a child in ‘The Real World Exploration’ aspect of the EYFS curriculum. The child had clearly understood from this lesson that children in the nursery and wider school community have a voice, and they must command dignity, respect and be accepted for who they are. This child was asked to effectively play a game of tag in their PE lesson, they asked to “sit out” the lesson as they did not see themselves having a role as either being chased or chasing anyone in that lesson and please could the teacher “respect my decision!”

Little Amesbury is a centre of excellence, dedicated to providing our youngest children with outstanding early years education, in a vibrant and challenging learning environment. For further details please visit www.amesburyschool.co.uk/littleamesbury

 

Jul 03
Love0
cute puppy

The rise of the ‘Pup-Nup’

By Finance, houses and property, Legal, Relationships

What will happen to your pet if your relationship breaks down?

For most pet owners, their companions are part of the family, so if a couple separates, what happens to them? In this article, Jon Whettingsteel, Partner and Family Law Specialist at Dutton Gregory Solicitors investigates.

According to a survey undertaken last year by Statista, 62% of households (approximately 17.8 million homes) own a pet, and with an average of two pets per household, that’s over 35 million domestic animals homed across the UK. Dogs proved the most popular pet (13 million), with cats coming in a close second (12 million) and just under 60% of pet owners were aged between 16 and 34 years old.

In law, pets are viewed as ‘chattels’ or property, and treated the same as the family car, furniture or artwork. Unlike children, there is no specific guidance in law or criteria on what the Court will consider when determining ownership of a pet.

Section 24 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 gives the Court the power to make a ‘Property Adjustment Order’ and even an ‘Order for Sale’, but these only apply if the parties are married. If a couple is in a relationship and/or living together, the issue of pet ownership is likely to be dealt with under Small Claims Court.

When determining which Order to make in relation to a pet, a Court may look at;
• Who bought the pet? Is there a name on any purchase documentation?
• Who is the registered owner? The contact listed on any microchip, for example?
• At what point in the relationship was the pet purchased?
• Whose name is registered on any insurance or at any veterinary practice?
• Who looks after the pet on a day-to-day basis?
• Who pays for the pet’s costs?
• Was the pet a gift from one party to the other, or from a friend or family member?

None of the above is determinative, and it will always be down to the discretion of the Court to decide who should retain ownership of any pets and what points to consider.

There is some, albeit limited, case law such as RK v RK in 2011 where the Judge stated they did “….. not consider it appropriate to make an order in respect of one of the dogs because, on the evidence I have heard, they would seem to be have been looked after principally by the husband.”

In another case, K vs K in 2005, the Judge commented, “The division of chattels must be accomplished prior to trial,” showing the court’s reluctance to make an order around pets.

In the event of a dispute, parties may wish to consider ‘mediation’, where a third party, preferably with experience in pet disputes, can help the parties reach an agreement. There is also ‘arbitration’ where it is agreed to give the third party the power to make a legally binding decision, but both methods often prove quicker and cheaper than a Court Application.

The best way to prevent this situation is for a couple to enter into a Pre-Nuptial or Cohabitation Agreement.

‘Pet-Nups’ or ‘Pup-Nups’ as they have become known, can set out not just who owns a pet, but also payments towards the costs of care, contact and effectively allow pets to have similar arrangements to children in the event of separation.

Although not automatically legally binding of enforcement, recent case law suggests that the Court are attaching more weighting to agreements between the parties where these are entered in to freely and willingly.

As with any agreement that is potentially legally binding, parties should obtain bespoke legal advice.

Disputes are demanding of time and finance, so parties should ensure they have in place a clear written agreement about arrangements for their pets when looking to get a new furry or feathered family member.

Jon Whettingsteel is a Partner and Family Law Specialist at Dutton Gregory – if you want advice then please contact Jon on 01483 755609 or j.whettingsteel@duttongregory.co.uk

 

 

Jul 01
Love0
baby in arms

Choosing care for under twos – What really matters

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Education, Relationships
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Choosing childcare is one of the biggest decisions a parent can make. Unlike with preschool-age children, where the benefits of socialisation and learning through play are often more obvious, sending a child under two to a setting can feel more emotional and uncertain.

Yet, with more families needing to balance work and care, the expansion of funding and increased awareness of the importance of early childhood development, high-quality provision for babies and toddlers has never mattered more. But what does ‘high-quality’ look like for the very youngest children, and what should parents be looking for?

A different kind of care
Caring for children under two is a vitally important job. The brain is developing at its most rapid rate and the wiring for emotional security, resilience and lifelong learning is being laid.

While environment and resources can enrich experiences, the most important thing to focus on is relationships. Very young children need warm, responsive, attentive adults who can tune into their needs, often when they cannot be expressed in words.

That is why the key person approach is so important. Each child should have an adult who forms a close, secure bond with them, gets to know their routines, and becomes a safe base for them from where they can explore their environment. Babies and toddlers feel safest when they know someone consistent, who is practically and emotionally available is caring for them.

When visiting a setting, ask:
• Who will be my child’s key person?
• What is your approach to settling in?
• How do you respond to children’s emotional needs throughout the day?

Look for teams who talk with genuine warmth and understanding about the children in their care. A well-organised rota or impressive curriculum means little if relationships are not at the heart of practice.

Nurturing the whole child
At this stage, learning does not look like reading or writing, but like exploration, imitation, repetition and lots of sensory play.

Young children develop through hands-on experience: mouthing, banging, pouring, crawling, climbing, and observing. Their muscles, coordination and cognitive abilities are all growing rapidly, and a good setting will reflect this through both their environment and adult-child interactions.

The best baby rooms are calm but active, warm but stimulating, and above all safe. Look for open-ended materials like baskets of natural objects, age-appropriate books, softplay zones, cause-and-effect toys and spaces for messy or sensory play. Outdoor access is especially valuable for crawlers and toddlers to explore safely in the fresh air.

Flashy equipment or over-stimulating gadgets are not necessary, babies will thrive on real-world experiences, warm conversation, and repetition.
Ask:
• How do you plan for children’s individual interests and development?
• Do babies go outside every day?
• What types of sensory and physical play do you offer?

Feeding, napping and routines
Consistency and routine are comforting to under twos, but they also need flexibility and responsiveness. Babies grow fast, and their needs can change rapidly. A good setting will blend a rhythm to the day with personalised routines.

Whether it is bottle-feeding, baby-led weaning, expressing, or adjusting nap schedules, look for a team that listens and works in partnership with you, individuality must be respected.
Ask:
• How do you manage different routines in the same room?
• Can I bring expressed milk / my child’s comforters / familiar sleep cues?
• How will you keep me updated during the day?

Communication is key
For parents of under twos, especially those leaving a baby in childcare for the first time, regular, meaningful communication is essential. Look for settings that prioritise updates, welcome conversation, and invite you into your child’s day. This might include handovers, learning journals, photos, or daily diaries but should always feel two-way, and not be just a formality.

Trust builds when you feel your child is truly known, and that you’re working as a team with their educators.

Staffing matters
Ratios and training are particularly important for babies or young toddlers. Legally, there must be one adult for every three children under two years, but good settings often go beyond minimum standards, especially during busy times of the day.

Equally important is the experience and stability of the team. Young children need familiar faces and confident, skilled adults who understand child development, attachment, and how to support emotional regulation.

Ask about staff turnover, training, and how the team is supported. High quality for under twos is built on a culture of care and continual reflection.

Making your choice
Choosing care for your baby or toddler is deeply personal. Trust your instincts when you visit a setting: Do the adults get down on the children’s level? Is the environment calm but engaging? Do you feel listened to, not just spoken at?

Opt for a setting where relationships, not routines, are at the heart of everything they do and you know your child will be seen, heard, and known.

Marsha Dann, lead teacher at Play B C Preschool, making every day a learning adventure in Wallington and Carshalton.
www.playbc.co.uk
info@playbc.co.uk

Jul 01
Love0
school line

A guide to transitioning from prep school to senior school

By Education, Relationships, Wellbeing
by Jessica.Musgrove
Burgess Hill Girls

The transition from prep to senior school represents one of the most significant educational milestones in a young person’s life. This period of change brings exciting opportunities alongside inevitable challenges.

A good senior school will aim to make this transition as seamless as possible, offering a supportive environment where students can flourish academically and personally. Whether your son or daughter is feeling nervous or eager about this next step, thoughtful preparation makes all the difference in ensuring a smooth and successful transition.

Understanding the transition
The shift to senior school involves much more than simply changing buildings or uniforms. Academically, pupils experience more structure with deeper subject-specific studies and heightened expectations for independent learning. While primary school may have emphasised broad knowledge acquisition, the senior school curriculum develops more sophisticated critical thinking and analytical skills.

Equally important is recognising the social and emotional journey ahead. Schools understand the importance of creating a nurturing community where new pupils integrate quickly and confidently. Experienced pastoral teams understand that navigating this social recalibration can be just as challenging as adapting to increased academic demands.

Developing essential study skills
The jump to senior school often reveals gaps in study skills that may not have been apparent previously. It’s important to support students to integrate effective time management, note-taking and revision techniques into their learning from day one. Most schools offer organisational tools like planners and digital resources to help pupils establish productive habits from the outset.

Head of Academic Progress at Burgess Hill Girls, Rohaise Flint, comments”The students who thrive most quickly are those who develop systematic approaches to their studies early on. Purpose-designed study spaces and consistent homework routines create an environment where students can reach their full potential.”

Goal setting for success
Rohaise Flint recommends that pupils establish both short-term and long-term goals. This practise not only boosts motivation but also helps pupils maintain perspective when challenges arise. Whether aiming for certain grades or developing greater confidence in particular subjects, the school’s individualised approach ensures every student receives the guidance they need to succeed.

Extracurricular engagement
Joining clubs, sports, arts programmes and societies are essential opportunities for social integration, skills development and personal discovery. Pupils who engage beyond the classroom consistently report a more fulfilling and balanced school experience.

Good schools like to encourage new pupils to try several activities during their first term before committing to those that most interest them. This exploration period allows them to discover new passions and connect with peers who share similar interests, all within a supportive community.

Building Resilience
Senior school inevitably brings new pressures – academic challenges, social complexities and sometimes, disappointments. At our school, developing resilience is central to its ethos. The school supports students in managing stress through regular physical activity, mindfulness practises, wellbeing days and ensuring adequate rest and recreation.

The pastoral team facilitates open conversations about challenges, normalising the difficulties of transition. Students are reminded that setbacks are natural and often lead to greater growth and self-awareness when approached constructively – a philosophy that prepares them not just for school but for life.

Nurturing social connections
Making new friends while maintaining existing relationships is one of the most important aspects of the transition. Our school has a house system, team activities and collaborative projects with the local community, each providing natural opportunities for social connection. The parent association organises informal gatherings with classmates and a vibrant calendar of school social events ensures every girl feels part of the community from day one.

Digital and resource readiness
At our school, we utilise state-of-the-art digital platforms for assignments, timetables and communications. Beginning September 2025, the school is implementing a 1-to-1 leased device programme, empowering students with flexibility in their learning environment while ensuring seamless access to all academic materials.

The parent’s role
As parents, striking the right balance between supportive involvement and encouraging independence can be challenging. At our school we partner with families through regular communication and parent workshops that provide valuable insights into supporting this transition. Also, an open-door policy ensures parents can always reach staff when guidance is needed.

Student testimonial from Charlotte W. Year 8
“I was incredibly nervous about moving up to senior school last year. After seven years at my small prep school, everything seemed so much bigger and more intimidating at first. But looking back, I can’t believe I was ever worried! During the first week, my form tutor organised these brilliant icebreaker activities that helped me connect with everyone quickly. The buddy system meant I had a peer who checked in regularly, which made navigating the school and new routines so much easier. What surprised me most was how quickly the teachers got to know me personally. My English teacher noticed I was quiet but had strong written ideas, so she encouraged me to join the debating club, which has completely boosted my confidence. The transition was an adjustment – I had to get used to moving between different classrooms and managing more homework – but the organisation skills we learned in the first term made a huge difference. Now I’m helping with this year’s new students, and it’s amazing to see them settling in just like I did. Coming to BHG has been the best decision ever – I’ve discovered talents I never knew I had!”

We believe a successful transition to senior school balances rigorous academic preparation with compassionate emotional support and engaging extracurricular opportunities. Our 120-year tradition of educational excellence, combined with its forward-thinking approach, creates an environment where every girl can thrive.

You are invited to experience the difference for yourself, with places available in both prep and senior school. Contact the admissions team today to arrange a visit and discover how the school transforms potential challenges into opportunities for remarkable growth and achievement.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, please visit www.burgesshillgirls.com

 

Mar 21
Love0
happy mum ADHD

Five survival tips for an ADHD parent

By Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs
by Alex Partridge author and host of the ADHD Chatter podcast

As someone with ADHD, I know it enables me to do amazing things, but I also know it also holds me back in some areas. If you’re a neurodiverse parent, parenting forces you into those areas where ADHDers often struggle, such as organisation, planning and consistency.

With this in mind, here are five tips that I’ve put together with help from other ADHD mums and dads to help you survive the amazing, wonderful, challenging roller-coaster that is parenting.

1. Make sure your ADHD is well-managed
Having a baby to care for means the scaffolding we ADHDers put around us to keep stable can be in danger of becoming wobbly. You may need to add reinforcements, such as hiring a cleaner so you don’t have to think about housework as well as a baby.

You may also need to make adjustments to your daily routine so you can remain by your baby’s side. Instead of jogging outside, for example, you could exercise inside with the help of a YouTube video. If meditation is something you use to keep yourself stable, you may need to do it during the unpredictable moments of silence throughout the day, rather than your usual set time.

2. Protect your slots
Parenting author Kirsti Hadley shared a brilliant analogy with me, where you imagine that all humans have a cognitive load consisting of five slots. When we encounter something that puts a demand on us, one of the slots gets filled.

A neurotypical parent’s slots will fill up with demands such as: I need to change my baby’s nappy, I need to prepare my baby’s food, I need to give my baby some medication, I need to buy my baby new shoes or let’s plan a nice weekend trip away with my baby.

However, a neurodivergent parent’s slots will fill up with demands or questions such as: My baby’s screams are over-stimulating me, I need to remember the travel directions to the nursery, where did I put my car keys?, what will the other parents think of me? or I haven’t drunk any water today. Our slots get filled up much quicker because a lot of the demands that come with parenting are high ‘executive function’ demands.

The early stages of parenting put a lot of extra demand on our brains so it’s vital we protect our slots, especially in the early days. To do this, I’d advise asking for help – this automatically doubles your available slots! I’d also suggest prioritising social encounters that matter to you and declining ones that don’t.

3. Establish a structure
The word ‘routine’ sends a shiver down my spine, but it’s important to try to establish a structure that works for you. Use any quiet time in the evenings to plan the next day. What will your child be wearing? Where will they need to go?

An ADHD brain comes alive as the day progresses. Take advantage of your ‘evening’ brain by using it to plan the morning activities. There will also be fewer demands on you in the evening as the world is winding down, so there’s less chance of you being interrupted.

4. Don’t feel ashamed of screens
There’s a lot of shame surrounding children’s use of screens for entertainment, especially on social media, but it’s especially important for neurodivergent parents to ignore this narrative.

Back when we lived in tribes in small villages, parents had help looking after their children. These days, a lot of parents are left alone to do the job, so we should never feel guilty about using modern technology to help us create our own village. Having a moment to recharge your cognitive batteries will be beneficial to you, your mental health and your child.

5. Find time for you
This is important for every parent, but especially for neurodiverse ones. To help do this, use the anagram WEBS: W: Walk (go for a walk). E: Early morning routine (create a morning routine that includes solitude). B: Baths (have a hot bath in the evening). S: Stretch (incorporate stretching in your day when possible).

Every part of WEBS can be as big or as little as your time allows. A walk could be as simply as pacing the length of your kitchen a couple of times. A stretch could simply involve making the movement of picking something up from the floor more intentional.

It’s the intention that really matters, and that is to create a moment, no matter how small, where you can focus on nothing but the moment and relax. These little moments are really important because they provide a pause between the demands of parenthood and therefore help to minimise any overwhelming feelings.

What all these tips have in common is creating a parenting structure that works for you and your child, which doesn’t have to be one that follows conventional norms. When we stop thinking the ‘traditional’ way is the right way, we can begin to make simple accommodations within our neurodiverse households that will make for a happier environment – and much happier parents and children.

Alex Partridge is the founder of LADBible and UNILAD and the host of the ADHD Chatter podcast. His book Now It All Makes Sense: How An ADHD Diagnosis Brought Clarity To My Life is out now, published by Sheldon Press, priced £16.99.now it all amkes sense

 

Mar 18
Love0
IVF couple

Demystifying male infertility

By family, Health, prenancy, Relationships
by Professor Geeta Nargund
Medical Director abc IVF

Infertility is still widely thought of as a female issue. Yet our research revealed that the male biological clock has a more prominent role in the outcome of IVF treatment than was initially thought. Why is male infertility less understood and what should men and couples be aware of when considering starting a family?

Media stories of older fathers have helped to perpetuate the myth that men do not have a biological clock – but celebrities like Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are the exception to the rule. It is important that men are educated about the impact of their age on their fertility so that couples can make informed decisions about when they want to start a family.

The impact of paternal age
The facts are clear: paternal age impacts the outcome of IVF treatment. For women aged between 35 and 40 with a male partner aged 40 and over there was a steep decline in the live birth rate. To be precise, the live birth rate dropped from 32.8% where the father was under 35 to 27.9% where the father was aged between 40 and 44. The most dramatic decline in the live birth rate was to 25%, in cases where the father’s age was over 55. This can be attributed to both the quality and quantity of a man’s sperm decreasing with age.

Increased paternal age can also lead to a higher risk of miscarriage. The rate of miscarriage is twice as high for women with male partners over 45 years old compared to women with male partners under the age of 25.

Paternal age did not have the same impact on women under the age of 35 or over the age of 40 conceiving. This is because the eggs of younger women are better able to repair the higher incidence of DNA damage that are often found in the sperm of older males.

In addition to affecting conception, paternal age can have an impact on the couples’ children as well. The offspring of men who are over 45 are five times more likely to have an autism spectrum disorder; five times more likely to have mental health problems; and thirteen times more likely to have an ADHD diagnosis.

For a long time, a woman’s age and fertility have been assumed to be the only determining factor in the outcome of fertility treatment. This research disproves that myth by revealing that men too have a biological clock.

It is now time couples were better informed about the impact of the male biological clock on their fertility. This is why I have campaigned for a national curriculum that promotes fertility education and is committed to empowering young people with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions about their future.

Optimising your fertility health
So, what are the options for men looking to boost their fertility levels? Well, there are a variety of things that can be done, but the most important rule to remember is that your general health and fertility health go hand in hand – so it’s best all round to aim for a healthy lifestyle.

This will include cutting down on alcohol and quitting smoking as well as eating a healthy, varied diet. I would also recommend exercise which is helpful for lowering stress levels and keeping within a healthy BMI range.

Reasons for male infertility
We’ve established that exercising and cutting vices such as alcohol and cigarettes can improve fertility. The logic follows that the inverse (excessive drinking and a no exercise) can increase the risk of infertility.

However, there are also genetic and medical conditions which can contribute to infertility that men need to be aware of. For example, varicoceles (prominent veins); blockage of the ejaculatory ducts; undescended testis and testicular tumours can all contribute to infertility. Additionally, whilst this condition is much rarer – impacting 1% of the male population – extreme cases of azoospermia result in seminal fluid which contains no sperm at all.

Furthermore, sexually transmitted infections and underactive thyroids can increase the risk of infertility in men and women alike.

When to seek medical help
It is time to speak to a doctor if the couple have been trying to conceive for six months and if the female partner is over 35 and the male partner is over 40. Similarly, if both partners are under 35 and have been trying to conceive for 12 months, they should also seek medical advice. This will allow the couple to explore the available fertility tests and treatments, if that’s a path they wish to pursue.

Knowledge is power
Whilst the prospect of male infertility and a male biological clock may sound daunting, an awareness of these issues is crucial in allowing men to make informed decisions about their fertility health. One approach is to have a national curriculum which highlights infertility prevention, arming the next generation with knowledge and destigmatising the topic of male infertility.

Professor Geeta Nargund, Senior NHS Consultant and Founder and Medical Director of abc IVF and CREATE Fertility. For further information please visit www.abcivf.co.uk or www.createfertility.co.uk

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