Relationships Archives - ABC Magazine

Mar 23

Theatre – ignite their imagination

By Iain Boyle Music and singing, panto, Panto, Relationships, Theatre

Taking children to watch live theatre is one of the most enriching gifts a parent can offer. In a world increasingly dominated by screens, instant gratification and passive entertainment, live theatre stands apart as a vibrant, human and deeply immersive experience. It sparks imagination, nurtures emotional intelligence and introduces children to the power of storytelling in a way no digital medium can replicate. Beyond simple entertainment, theatre helps shape thoughtful, confident and culturally aware young people.

One of the most powerful benefits of live theatre is its ability to ignite imagination. Unlike films or television, theatre does not rely on constant visual effects or close-up shots to tell its story. Children must actively engage, filling in gaps with their own creativity. A simple stage can become a magical kingdom, a pirate ship or a bustling city through performance, lighting and sound. This active participation strengthens a child’s ability to visualise, think creatively and interpret meaning – skills that are essential for problem-solving and innovation later in life.

Live theatre also fosters emotional development. When children watch characters experience joy, fear, jealousy, love or loss in real time, they learn to recognise and understand emotions in a nuanced way. Seeing actors express feelings physically and vocally helps children develop empathy, teaching them to consider perspectives different from their own. These emotional lessons are subtle yet powerful, helping children become more compassionate and emotionally literate as they grow.

Another major advantage of live theatre is its positive impact on language and communication skills. Theatre exposes children to rich vocabulary, expressive dialogue and varied speech patterns. Unlike scripted television shows designed for quick consumption, stage plays often challenge young audiences to listen closely and follow complex narratives. This strengthens listening skills, improves comprehension and encourages a deeper appreciation for language. For younger children especially, seeing stories unfold through spoken word can significantly support literacy development.

Live theatre also encourages focus and patience – qualities that are increasingly rare in the digital age. Sitting through a performance requires children to remain attentive, observe quietly and respect shared spaces. This practice of sustained attention is invaluable, helping children develop self-discipline and the ability to engage meaningfully with longer tasks. Over time, these habits translate into better concentration at school and a greater capacity for thoughtful reflection.

Cultural exposure is another key reason to introduce children to theatre. Plays often reflect diverse histories, traditions and viewpoints, allowing children to explore cultures and experiences beyond their own. Whether watching a classic fairy tale, a historical drama or a modern story tackling social themes, children gain insight into the world’s complexity. Theatre can gently introduce big ideas – such as fairness, identity, courage and responsibility – in ways that are accessible and age-appropriate.

Importantly, live theatre creates shared experiences that strengthen family bonds. Attending a performance together opens the door to meaningful conversations afterward. Parents and children can discuss characters’ choices, favourite moments or lessons learned, reinforcing understanding and critical thinking. These discussions help children articulate their thoughts and opinions while feeling heard and valued. The memory of dressing up, sitting in a theatre and applauding performers can become a cherished family tradition.

Live theatre can also inspire confidence and creativity in children. Watching performers command a stage may encourage children to explore self-expression through drama, music or public speaking. For some, it plants the seed for a lifelong love of the arts; for others, it simply builds courage to speak up, perform or share ideas openly. Even children who never step on stage themselves benefit from seeing what confidence, collaboration and practise can achieve.

Finally, taking children to live theatre teaches them to value art and human connection. Theatre is a shared, unrepeatable experience – each performance is unique, shaped by the energy between actors and audience. Children learn that not all meaningful experiences can be paused, replayed or scrolled past. They learn to be present, to appreciate effort, and to recognise the beauty of creativity unfolding in real time.

Live theatre offers far more than entertainment for children. It nurtures imagination, builds empathy, strengthens communication skills and fosters cultural awareness. It teaches patience, inspires creativity and creates lasting family memories. In choosing to take children to live theatre, parents are not just planning an outing – they are investing in their child’s emotional, intellectual and social growth.

In a fast-paced, digital world, live theatre remains a powerful reminder of the magic that happens when stories are shared face-to-face.

Mar 16

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Supporting your child’s mental health

By Iain Boyle ADHD and neurodiversity, Education, Mental health, Relationships, special educational needs, Wellbeing

by Emily Snape
author and mother

Supporting a child’s mental health rarely looks the way we expect it to. There isn’t a clear plan and progress is rarely straightforward. What works at one stage can stop working at another and what helps one child may not help the next. Over time, I’ve learned that supporting mental health is less about having the right answers and more about paying attention, staying connected and learning what your own child needs.

My middle son has ADHD, and our experience has included meltdowns, anxiety, school avoidance, high-energy moods and behaviours that can be difficult to manage. There have been moments when I’ve worried about what these struggles might mean long-term, and times when I’ve felt like I’m getting so much wrong.

One thing that has become very clear is that the relationship between me and my child must come first. Before consequences, before explanations, before trying to move things along. When a child is overwhelmed, what can help most is knowing that the adult in front of them is steady and on their side. That doesn’t mean removing boundaries or avoiding difficult conversations – it means prioritising connection, particularly when things are not going well.

Learning to notice the detail
With time, I’ve become better at noticing the detail behind behaviour. What looks like defiance or refusal is often anxiety, exhaustion or something that has built up quietly. Asking myself what might be driving a reaction, rather than focusing on stopping it, has helped me respond more calmly.

I’ve also learned that timing matters. My children rarely talk when emotions are running high. Some of the most useful conversations have happened in the car, or at bedtime, when the day has slowed down. Those moments can’t be forced, but they can be made possible.

Connection before direction
When emotions are high, instructions tend to land badly. I’ve learned that it usually works better to slow things down first, to sit nearby, acknowledge how difficult something feels, and wait. Once a child feels understood, they are far more able to reflect and take things on board.

Revisiting situations afterwards has also been important. I don’t always respond as well as I’d like in the moment. Going back to talk things through, and apologising, when necessary, has helped maintain trust and repair the relationship.

Remembering that feelings change
One thing I remind myself of regularly is that feelings are temporary. This has helped me keep perspective when my child is distressed, even if I’m feeling anxious myself.

When my eldest son, who is 16 and in the middle of his GCSEs, came back from the hairdresser last week, he was completely distraught. He announced he wouldn’t be leaving the house until it had all grown back. At the time, it genuinely felt like a crisis. I went straight into problem-solving mode, trying to reason with him that it was ‘just hair’, while panicking about school, exams and what Monday morning was going to look like. It took a few careful steps to get him back into school, but once he realised it wasn’t the catastrophe he’d imagined, he was able to move on. A week later, and he’s totally moved on – though at the time, it felt anything but small.

Of course, that isn’t always the case. Anxiety can be persistent, and school avoidance has been an ongoing challenge for us. It’s draining, and there are no quick solutions. But even here, I’ve learned that progress is rarely linear, and that patience and understanding tend to achieve more than pressure.

Opening conversations about ADHD
I wrote my books, My Amazing ADHD Brain and My Amazing Autistic Brain to help open conversations, both for children and for the adults around them. They are intended as a way for children to understand how their brains work, and to see themselves in a balanced and positive light. For many families, books can offer a starting point for conversations.

I’m still learning, and there are still difficult days. But I know now that supporting a child’s mental health isn’t about fixing everything or getting it right all the time. It’s about being consistent, paying attention and always staying by their side.

Emily Snape is a children’s author and illustrator living in London. Her work has appeared online, on television, in shops and even on buses! She has three cheeky children, Leo, Fin and Flo who keep her on her toes. www.emilysnape.co.uk Emily’s newest book ‘My Amazing Autistic Brain’ is published by Summersdale, £6.99

Mar 15

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When the volume goes up, connection goes down

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, family, Mental health, Relationships

by Giulia Galli
Parental Coach

How our words and our tone become their inner voice

Lately, I’ve been noticing a sound that cuts through everyday life – not laughter from the playground or the hum of conversation drifting from kitchens, but shouting. Not the occasional raised voice that slips out in frustration, but the repeated, sharp, heavy kind.

Sometimes it’s siblings snapping at each other. Sometimes it’s teenagers slamming back at parents. And often, it’s parents themselves, shouting at toddlers, at primary-age children, even at babies not yet walking.

One mother’s voice has stayed with me. Every time her one-year-old knocks something over or spills his food, her response is the same: loud, harsh, full of judgement. Every fall of a toy, every food-splattered shirt, every curious gesture that leaves a mark is met with anger. He’s only one. Just one.

And yet, what he is learning isn’t just how objects fall or how sounds are made: it’s what power feels like. What anger sounds like. What happens when you do something ‘wrong’. What it means to be small in a world where big voices rule.

Let’s be clear – this isn’t about shaming parents. We’ve all raised our voices. I have, too. Shouting happens. Sometimes we’re exhausted, sometimes we’re overstimulated, sometimes we’re carrying far more than our nervous system can handle. And many of us grew up with shouting ourselves, so it became the norm.

But here’s the truth – shouting doesn’t teach reflection. It teaches fear. It doesn’t create understanding. It creates compliance. And in children, especially very young ones, it doesn’t build confidence. It builds shame.

Think about it – when a toddler spills water, shouting doesn’t teach them how to hold the cup better next time. It teaches them that trying is dangerous. When a child touches something fragile, a loud scolding doesn’t teach caution, it teaches that curiosity isn’t safe. When a child is overwhelmed and cries, shouting doesn’t teach them how to regulate their feelings, it teaches them that big emotions aren’t allowed.

This is the danger of repeated shouting: it turns moments of behaviour into a story about identity.

“I dropped something” becomes “I’m clumsy.” “I was curious” becomes “I’m annoying.” “I was upset” becomes “I’m too much.”

Those stories stick. And they echo long after the moment has passed.

The irony is that shouting might get us what we want in the moment – it might stop the behaviour. But the cost is disconnection. We silence. We scare. We disconnect. And in that silence, children don’t learn what to do differently. They just learn to feel small.

So what’s the alternative? First, awareness. Notice when the urge to shout rises. Often, it’s not the behaviour itself that pushes us over the edge, but the meaning we attach to it: “He’s doing this on purpose.” “She never listens.” “I can’t take this anymore.” That story is what fuels the reaction.

Second, pause. Parenting gives us endless opportunities to reset. Even a few seconds can change everything. Lower your voice instead of raising it. Name your own feeling: “I’m getting frustrated.” Ask for help: “Let’s take a minute to calm down.” Step out of the room for three breaths before you respond. Replace “What’s wrong with you?” with “Let’s try again.”

Small shifts like these model something powerful. They show children that mistakes are part of learning. That emotions can be managed without force. That connection matters more than control.

Because children aren’t just learning from our instructions. They’re absorbing our example. The words and the tone we use today becomes the inner voice they’ll carry tomorrow.

Think back to your own childhood. The voices you heard most often probably still echo in your head. They may tell you to “be careful,” to “try harder,” or perhaps to “quiet down.” Those phrases, spoken in particular tones, become part of who we are. And now, as parents, we are shaping that voice for our children.

That’s why shouting is more than just noise. It’s a message. And if repeated, it becomes a belief.

This isn’t about never shouting again. None of us are perfect. It’s about noticing, repairing and choosing differently when we can. Even after we’ve raised our voice, we can come back and say, “I shouldn’t have shouted. I was tired and frustrated. Let’s try again.” That moment of repair doesn’t erase what happened, but it teaches accountability. It shows children that mistakes can be mended.

One day, our children will be grown. They may not remember every word we said. But they will remember how it felt to be with us. Was the home a place where mistakes were punished or explored? Where curiosity was stifled or encouraged? Where fear entered the room with us or safety did?

When the volume goes up, connection goes down. But when we choose calm, patience and presence instead, we give our children something far more lasting than obedience: we give them an inner voice that supports them for life.

Giulia Galli is a parental coach and author of When a Parent is Born. She supports families with intentional parenting. For further information please visit www.reegal.co.uk

Dec 03

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Co-parenting at Christmas: What it really means in family law

By Iain Boyle family, Finance, Legal, Relationships

by Georgia Oliver
Family Executive, Dutton Gregory

In the world of family law, terms and phrases are often used to describe specific legal concepts or terms such as ‘custody’, ‘visitation’ and ‘child support’, even if those terms have never been set out in legislation. One such term gaining popularity especially during the Christmas period is co-parenting. However, while co-parenting is a widely discussed concept in the media, it’s important to understand that co-parenting is not a legal term.

What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting refers to an arrangement in which two parents, typically after a separation or divorce, continue to work together to raise their child or children. While the idea of co-parenting is rooted in the desire for co-operative parenting, it does not have a formal definition or specific legal status under family law.

Co-parenting is a broad and informal concept. Legal terms must be defined and understood consistently to ensure enforceability in court. Co-parenting can refer to different levels of involvement between the parents, from highly collaborative relationships to those involving limited communication, but none of these variations are specifically outlined in family law legislation.

Why it matters more at Christmas
The Christmas period often puts co-parenting arrangements to the test. With school holidays, family gatherings and strong emotional ties to festive traditions, deciding how and where a child spends Christmas can become a major point of contention.

Many families agree to alternate Christmases or split the day itself, but unless these arrangements are formalised in a court order, they rely entirely on goodwill and communication. Co-parenting can help facilitate smooth planning, but it’s important to remember it has no legal standing. If disputes arise, the court will focus on what is in the child’s best interests, not on enforcing a co-parenting agreement.

How co-parenting relates to family law
Even though co-parenting itself is not a legal term, the approach to co-parenting can have a significant impact on family law matters, especially when it comes to a ‘lives with’ court order and other parenting plans.

If parents cannot resolve a dispute over the arrangements for their children outside of the court arena, then in cases where both parents actively participate in decision-making and the child’s upbringing, the court may make a ‘joint lives with’ order. This allows both parents to be involved in making important decisions for their child, which is consistent with the goals of co-parenting. However, a ‘lives with’ order is a formal legal term, while co-parenting is the informal practice that may help achieve such an arrangement.

Mediation: A helpful tool at Christmas
Mediation is particularly useful during the Christmas period, as it helps parents communicate more effectively and focus on practical, child-focused outcomes. While it can support a more successful co-parenting relationship, it’s still up to the parents to commit to making it work.

Co-parenting encourages collaboration, especially during the Christmas period, but it’s important to understand that it remains an informal concept without legal force. Parents should aim to plan ahead, communicate clearly and prioritise their child’s needs.

At Dutton Gregory, we assist with parenting arrangements year-round including around Christmas and offering guidance on mediation, court applications, and formal orders to help families move forward with clarity and stability. Georgia Oliver is an experienced Family Executive at Dutton Gregory, so if you want advice then please contact Georgia on 01483 755609 or g.oliver@duttongregory.co.uk

Nov 10

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Growing confidence

By Iain Boyle Education, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

Why many children are struggling and how parents can help

Confidence is often described as the quiet superpower that shapes a child’s life, influencing everything from their mental wellbeing to their willingness to try new things and build friendships. Yet, recent research shows that a significant number of children in the UK are facing a confidence crisis – one that could have lasting impacts if left unaddressed.

The Listen Up Report from youth and education agency Hark reveals that up to one in three adolescents nationwide experience little or no confidence. While the report focuses on young people aged 11 to 18, many of the challenges it highlights are rooted in earlier childhood and can begin to take shape well before secondary school.

What is the ‘confidence crisis’?
Children with low confidence often struggle to speak up in class, join social activities or express their opinions. This ‘unheard third’ – roughly 10 children in every classroom – may find it difficult to participate fully in school and social life, which can hold them back academically and emotionally.

The report found that at age 11, when children start secondary school, around 29% already feel little or no confidence. This figure rises as children face new pressures and transitions during adolescence. Although confidence can improve with time, early experiences are crucial in shaping a child’s self-belief and future aspirations.

What’s behind the decline in confidence?
The factors contributing to this crisis are complex and interconnected:
• The lingering impact of Covid-19
School closures and social isolation disrupted normal childhood development, making it harder for children to build social skills and resilience.
• Social media and online pressure
Even younger children are exposed to the pressures of maintaining an ‘online persona’ through siblings or early access to technology. The fear of judgment and comparison can chip away at their self-esteem.
• Fear of judgment and lack of emotional safety
Many children, particularly girls and those from minority groups, feel they cannot speak openly without being misunderstood or judged harshly. This fear stifles their confidence to express themselves authentically.

Without safe spaces at school or home to discuss feelings and experiences, children may internalise their doubts, leading to a downward spiral of invisibility and self-doubt.

Why early confidence matters
Confidence in childhood is not just about feeling good in the moment – it shapes how children engage with learning, develop friendships and approach challenges.

Children who lack confidence are less likely to participate in class, join clubs or speak up, which means they miss out on valuable opportunities to grow and be seen.

This invisibility can become a self-perpetuating cycle – the quieter a child is, the less support and encouragement they receive, further eroding their confidence and narrowing their future possibilities.

What can parents do?
The good news is that confidence is not a fixed trait – it can be nurtured and developed with the right support and environment. Parents play a vital role in helping their children build belief in themselves. Here are some practical ways to help:
• Create safe spaces for expression
Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Listen actively and validate their experiences.
• Celebrate small successes
Recognise and praise your child’s efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This builds a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
• Model confidence and positive self-talk
Children learn by example. Show them how to approach challenges with a growth mindset and kindness towards themselves.
• Support social skills development
Encourage play dates, group activities and social interactions that help your child practise communication and cooperation.
• Be patient and persistent
Building confidence is a journey, not a race. Consistent encouragement and under-standing make a big difference over time.

A call to listen louder
Every child’s confidence journey is unique, and it’s vital that parents, teachers and communities work together to see, hear and value each child. The Listen Up Report reminds us that confidence gaps are not personality flaws but broken social patterns that can be changed.

By fostering environments where quieter voices can thrive and teaching children to believe in themselves, we can help them step through doors they might not even see are open to them.

This article is based on insights from Hark’s Listen Up Report 2025, a comprehensive study on youth confidence in the UK. Hark is a London-based education and youth agency with over 30 years’ experience supporting young people and organisations to build confidence and skills. For further details or to read the full report please visit www.harklondon.com/listen-up/

Nov 06

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The importance of panto

By Iain Boyle Christmas, family, Music and singing, panto, Relationships, Theatre

by James Stafford
Brighton Family Panto

This Christmas across the UK, we’ll hear thousands of children screaming “Oh yes it is! Oh no it isn’t! He’s behind you!”

For many children, the pantomime is their very first encounter with live theatre. In a world dominated by screens on tablets, phones and TVs, this is a rare and magical experience. Stepping into a theatre, feeling the buzz of anticipation and seeing a story unfold before their eyes can spark a lifelong love of storytelling, creativity and the arts. Unlike a cinema, where children are expected to sit quietly and absorb the story in silence, the panto invites them to participate, laugh and interact. Pantomimes provide a space where their energy and excitement are not just welcomed, but actively encouraged. The theatre becomes a safe, inclusive and lively environment, where children can express themselves freely, shout, cheer and take part without fear of judgement, celebrating their joy and individuality.

There is something uniquely enchanting about watching characters come to life on stage. The huge and dazzling costumes, the sequins, the energetic songs and the larger-than-life personalities create a world where imagination can roam freely. For many families, this first visit becomes a treasured festive tradition, full of laughter, fun and Christmas magic.

The tradition of panto
Pantomime is a uniquely British institution, combining fairy tales and well-known folk stories with music, comedy and audience participation in a joyous celebration. One of the most beloved elements of panto is its sense of fun and humour. The exaggerated characters, playful jokes and larger-than-life performances make children laugh out loud, often at the very things adults have learned to appreciate in a more subtle way.

At the heart of this tradition is the pantomime dame. Children delight in seeing a clearly grown man dressed as a woman, performing outrageous antics on stage. This playful gender role reversal is central to panto, and much of its comedy springs from the dame’s larger-than-life presence. Beyond the laughs, the dame also introduces children to ideas about performance, identity and self-expression. It’s not just funny, it’s formative. Seeing these playful subversions of traditional gender roles can help children understand that identity is flexible, and that theatre is a space where creativity and self-expression can flourish. In a subtle but meaningful way, pantomimes challenge conventions and encourage children to think more openly about who they are and how they might present themselves in the world.

Participation, laughter and imagination
What truly sets pantomime apart is its interactivity. Children are not passive spectators, they are active participants. Calls of “He’s behind you!” and “Oh no it isn’t!” invite them into the story, giving them confidence, a sense of agency and the joy of a communal experience. In the theatre, children are encouraged to be loud, energetic and fully themselves, something often discouraged in other environments. This safe, playful setting nurtures emotional development and social understanding – all whilst being enormous fun.

Pantomime also teaches children the power of storytelling. Heroes and villains, lessons of right and wrong and the triumph of good over evil are presented with music, comedy and spectacle. These early encounters with narrative structure, dramatic tension and humour leave lasting impressions, shaping how children understand stories and performance for the rest of their lives.

Why it matters
In a world dominated by screens, pantomime offers a vital alternative. Live theatre is immediate, immersive and unpredictable. It demands attention, imagination and engagement. It shows children that the real magic happens in shared experience, that stories are best lived as well as watched and that creativity thrives in participation.

Beyond the spectacle, pantomime nurtures curiosity, empathy and emotional intelligence. It encourages children to dream, to imagine and to engage with the world playfully and thoughtfully. And it leaves memories that families carry for years, embedding a love of theatre and live performance that screens alone cannot replicate.

This Christmas, as theatres across Sussex and the UK fill with children laughing, cheering and joining in, we are reminded why pantomime matters. It is more than a festive tradition, it is an introduction to imagination, creativity and the joy of participation. It sparks wonder, challenges perceptions and opens doors to a world of stories waiting to be discovered. For children, the pantomime is not just entertainment, it is an unforgettable first step into a lifelong love of theatre, laughter and imagination.

James Stafford is part of the Brighton Family Panto Team, who have a beanstalk-sized treat for you this Christmas and a panto packed with tons of fe-fi-fo-FUN! 01273 719759 www.brightonfamilypanto.com hello@brightonfamilypanto.com

Aug 08

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Is my child ready for school?

By Iain Boyle Education, Relationships, Summer

by Lianne Morrison, Head of Pre-Prep, Lancing Prep Hove and
Jovita Opio, Nursery Manager, Little Lancing Day Nursery & Forest School

Transitions can be tricky hurdles to negotiate at whatever point in life, and for very young children, changes are often an unsettling experience in their daily lives. These can include the birth of a new sibling, moving house, changes in family living arrangements, bereavement and last but by no means least going to school.

It is one of the most momentous transitions in their Early Years journey when a child faces the step up into the Reception year. It can be emotional for parent/carer and child alike. For parents it can seem like only yesterday that their child was just a tiny bundle of joy in a buggy and now, in a flash, here they are looking very grown up in their new school uniform – where did those years go? For the child, there can be equal parts excitement and nervous butterflies as they get ready to join a school where much will be new.

‘School readiness’ is a phrase that can quickly become a preoccupation for parents whose children will be making this transition, but what does it mean? It can be hard to define precisely, and how ready a parent feels their child is for school can often turn out to be something rather different to how ready the Reception teachers feel a child actually is. This is evidenced in a recent survey, where 9 out of 10 parents thought their child was school ready and teachers only thought 1 in 3 children were! So, it’s useful to know what school readiness means to schools and how parents can work with their child, and their child’s early years setting or childminder, to ensure that their child is well prepared for the years ahead.

Top of the list is likely to be a child’s growing sense of independence. Practical skills will help build this and there are some very simple ways that the parent/carer can incorporate these into daily routines at home. These skills cover personal care, from being able to dress themselves without too much help, negotiate buttons and zips, to being able to put on and take off shoes and outdoor clothes, using cutlery at lunchtime and drinking from an open cup. Probably the most important personal care skills are using the toilet and washing and drying hands effectively.

Language skills are another key area. Studies show that children who have enjoyed lots of conversations and been read stories daily prior to starting school had a richer vocabulary compared to those who were less exposed to these experiences. The ability to communicate and use simple language can help enormously with settling into a school community. Talking to others about what they have been doing, what they have experienced or just chatting about the world around them is something they already do at home but extra practice will build confidence in expressing themselves. Singing nursery songs or chanting nursery rhymes is a fun way of joining in at school, particularly when these are already familiar to them and they enjoy the sounds and hand actions. Language skills can of course vary enormously at this age but if a child knows how to ask for help in simple terms, it can minimise feelings of stress in classroom situations.

Children will also have begun to learn social skills, build relationships and develop communication. The three key components of this are learning to listen, understanding and following simple instructions and starting to build resilience. This will enable them to concentrate for short periods of time to start with, engage with tasks and to persevere when something doesn’t go quite right!

Sparking curiosity can play a significant part in this. Learning about the world about them, imaginative play, sharing story books and talking about the characters and pictures are all activities that children will encounter in school, alongside creative skills such as drawing, colouring and painting and simple construction activities which help develop fine motor skills and improve coordination. Children accessing nature is a great way to spark curiosity and learn about the world around them.

Interacting appropriately with others is another important skill that parents/carers can support at home. Understanding feelings and being able to discern what other children are feeling is important. Learning to take turns with toys and practising sharing can help children to understand that they need to consider others. Children can begin to learn to recognise emotions and reactions of others by talking about how they feel or how they think another person is feeling. Beginning to understand what a friend is feeling, or if something is making them sad, can help to build relationships. These skills can be practised by looking at a story book with a parent/carer and talking about how the characters might be feeling. Setting boundaries for their own behaviour, and that of others, so that they know when, and how, to say no to something that makes them feel sad or cross or uncomfortable is another skill that can be developed at home.

For children to easily adapt to the routines of school life, healthy routines at home will help them. It is so important that children get the rest they need and are ready for school each morning, so a consistent bedtime routine, healthy limits to screen time and a supervised tooth brushing regime twice daily are recommended, along with eating a healthy, balanced diet. These factors all come together to help new Reception children become healthy and happy learners.

There is plenty of help available for parents to navigate their family’s way through to school readiness. It’s important to remember that children develop at their own pace, right from the day they first enter the world, and some may need a little more help than others when it’s time to get to grips with moving to life at school.

Whatever experience a child has had prior to going to school, it is still a huge step. For some, previous experiences might be attending a daycare nursery or being cared for by a childminder. For others, they might have been attending a preschool attached to a school. Some might be joining straight from home, possibly where they were looked after by a parent, family member or a nanny, without ever having attended an Early Years setting with other children their age.

Early Years settings and childminders should have a good grasp of how they need to work with the children to prepare them for joining school. They are well-versed in the transition process for their preschoolers. Firstly, there is the strong bond with parent/carers which ensures setting and families work together. Secondly, contact is established between the setting and the school the child is joining, typically with nursery visits from Reception teachers and school readiness events at the school prior to the start of the new school year in September. Early Years practitioners share their knowledge of the child and their developmental milestones (with parental permission of course) and in that way the school can gain insights into the child, and into any particular needs they may have, and the nursery can help prepare the child for this important step in their Early Years journey.

If a child has been in a preschool attached to a school, whether state maintained or independent, the transition will likely be very easy for the child and their family alike. They will be familiar with the school buildings and there will be a natural progression moving from preschool to the main part of the school. Some schools will employ qualified teachers to lead their preschool so the teaching style of their new Reception teacher will also feel familiar. For many families, the move from preschool to Reception in the same school will be a seamless process.

If a child has been more home-based, then the transition might be a bigger step and they may well benefit from attending a nursery or their planned school’s preschool, for at least a couple of days a week in the final year before they start in Reception. It will help them to begin to acquire the valuable social and communication skills that will stand them in good stead for life among their peers. Parents may have their own social and support groups with other families and this can also provide good opportunities to collaborate with others who are in the same situation.

If a parent is concerned about their child’s development, or their child has additional needs, such as EAL or SEND, there is support available to families. Parents should share as much information as they can with the school to help the child settle into Reception and work with their child’s current care provider, whether a nursery or a childminder. Health visitors or family hubs can also support families with more information and resources.

There is so much that can be done to help to increase independence and build confidence that will help the child to feel ready, both in practical terms and emotionally, for school. Practise within the home environment will reinforce what the nursery, childminder or preschool are working on with the child. What’s truly important is that everyone works together to ensure that the transition is a positive experience and children set off for school excited and confident at what is to come.

The Lancing College family includes its two Prep Schools located in Hove and Worthing and Little Lancing Day Nursery & Forest School which offers day care all-year round for children aged two months and over. www.littlelancing.co.uk www.lancingcollege.co.uk

Aug 08

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The mindful family holiday

By Iain Boyle environment, family, Family Farms, fun for children, Holiday camps, Relationships, Wellbeing

by Adry Capodanno
The Holiday Fixer

10 tips to make travel more memorable (and less expensive)

Family holidays don’t have to be expensive or packed with attractions to be unforgettable. In fact, the most powerful memories are often born in the small, ordinary moments – especially for children. When we shift from “doing more” to “noticing more”, the whole experience becomes richer, calmer, and often, more affordable.

Mindfulness on holiday simply means approaching the trip with a little more intention – and making space in the day for your child to fully experience where they are.

Here are 10 experience-backed ways to bring more presence, connection and lasting joy into your family holidays – without overloading your itinerary or your wallet.

1. Even a simple holiday is a big deal for children
As adults, we often crave ease – a familiar resort, a beach where we don’t have to think, or a well-trodden ski route. It’s easy to feel like we’re just “recharging”. But for children, even the simplest holiday is an exciting experience. The texture of hotel bedding, the sound of a different language, the way the sun feels in a new place – it’s all new. You don’t need to seek out constant stimulation. That hotel breakfast buffet may feel routine to you, but for a child, it’s exciting and fascinating.

2. Leave ‘breathing room’ in the day
There’s a temptation to make the most of every moment, especially if the holiday has been hard-earned. But over-scheduling leaves everyone overstimulated and tired. Instead, keep the itinerary light. Aim for one or two structured plans per day, and let the rest unfold. That half hour spent sitting in a town square eating crisps, or watching snow fall outside a café window, often becomes the memory they talk about later.

3. Begin the experience before you even leave home
Children connect more deeply to places they feel familiar with. Introduce your destination early – through a short video, a picture book, or a few fun facts. Learn how to say “hello” and “thank you” in the local language. When your child sees that same flag, animal or landmark in real life, the recognition brings pride and excitement – “I know this!”

4. Use a destination-themed holiday bingo
This is a brilliant way to help younger children stay engaged. Create a bingo card with images specific to the location: a monument, the local flag, a food item, a traditional costume or a certain animal. The moment your child spots one and ticks it off, it becomes a little victory and the thrill on their face is priceless! It turns sightseeing into a game, and gently encourages them to look around more closely.

5. Let their senses lead
Taste, smell and touch are powerful memory anchors. If your child falls in love with a pastry or gelato, let them have it again – consistency helps memories stick. Let them choose a local soap or spice to take home. A few years from now, that scent might take them straight back to a tiny village bakery or the steps of a museum.

6. Invite them to observe and create
You don’t need to give them a travel journal – though some children love that. A disposable camera, a sketchbook, or even a prompt like “What do you think is the story of this small cafe?” helps children engage with their surroundings. Drawing a lighthouse, taking a photo of a street performer, or collecting small treasures like ticket stubs or postcards adds personal meaning to the trip.

7. Let them interact with the place – not just watch it
Encourage small interactions. Let your child say “merci” at the bakery, ask the tour guide a question, or learn a game from local children. You are teaching them that the world is full of people with different ways of life – and that it’s OK to be a guest in someone else’s culture.

8. Give children a say
Let them help make decisions – choosing between two places to visit, picking a route to walk or a plan B when it rains. When they feel part of the process, they’re more present and interested, they gain a sense of agency and connection to the journey.

9. Mix destinations – strategically
If possible, include more than one stop. Studies in cognitive psychology show that the brain segments memory by context and environment. A few days by the sea, followed by time in a town or mountainside village, creates variety. A shift in scenery helps children form clearer, more durable memories. The key is to transition thoughtfully, not rush.

10. Keep the story going at home
When you get home, print a few photos. Let your child pick their favourites. Display a postcard, a shell, or a drawing. Talk about the best bits over dinner. Retelling the story of your trip helps children internalise it and treasure it.

You don’t need to do more, or spend more, to give your children a meaningful holiday. Instead, notice more – and help them do the same. The real luxury lies in unhurried time together, where the pace lets moments breathe and children can connect with the world – and with you.

Whether you’re surfing down a sand dune, exploring a Christmas market, or watching fish dart under a pedal boat, it’s the moments you truly share that will stay with them the longest.

Adry at The Holiday Fixer specialises in expert, high-quality, bespoke travel itineraries worldwide, with a focus on family holidays and friendly, stress-free, parent-to-parent service. Your next adventure is just a chat away! Contact Adry at adry@theholidayfixer.com or 07583 581042.

Aug 08

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Preparing dads for fatherhood

By Iain Boyle family, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

by Gordon Dowall-Potter
MANtenatal

Why support matters more than ever

For many men, becoming a father is one of life’s biggest milestones, and one of its biggest unknowns. While conversations around motherhood are supported by books, classes, apps and appointments, fatherhood is often treated like something that will “come naturally” once the baby arrives.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t always come naturally. And when men don’t feel prepared, confident or supported, the impact can ripple through their relationship, affect mental health, and family life.

Men want to be involved, but are often left guessing
The idea of dads standing awkwardly in the background while mum does everything is outdated and most modern fathers want to be hands-on from the start. They attend scans, they take paternity leave (when they can), and they’re often just as excited, and nervous, about what lies ahead.

But despite the willingness, many men describe feeling unsure, sidelined or invisible during pregnancy and the early days of parenting. Antenatal services tend to focus on maternal needs (as they should), but that leaves a lot of dads guessing about what their role is and how to prepare.

Antenatal education aimed at men can make a huge difference. It offers emotional insight, relationship tools and practical parenting skills, delivered in a way that speaks to dads directly and honestly.

This is exactly why I set up men’s antenatal classes, to educate, guide and support all dads, no matter their background, relationship status or starting point. Too often, men are expected to simply “know what to do” without ever being shown how. These classes offer a space where dads can ask questions, build confidence, and prepare emotionally, without judgement or jargon.

It’s all part of my personal mission: No Dad Left Behind. Because when we give dads the tools and the time to prepare, they show up for their partner, their baby and themselves. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. #BestDadYouCanBe

Mental health: A quiet concern for new dads
Research shows that around 1 in 10 fathers experience postnatal depression, although professionals suggest the real figure may be much higher. Unlike mums, who are routinely screened and encouraged to open up, many men still feel they need to push through alone and in silence.

Some don’t recognise the symptoms, brushing off low mood, irritability or withdrawal as tiredness or stress. Others worry that admitting they’re struggling could be seen as weakness. This silence can lead to emotional distance, tension at home and longer-term mental health issues if not addressed early.

Open, honest support and early intervention is the key – and that starts with normalising the idea that fatherhood can be just as overwhelming for men as it is for women.

The benefits of being prepared
When dads are supported in their transition to fatherhood, everyone wins.

Children benefit from stronger bonds with both parents. Partners feel more supported and less alone. And dads themselves feel more confident, connected and capable. Even knowing how to be helpful – in the birthing room, what to say, how to advocate, what not to take personally, can make a huge difference to how included and empowered a father feels.

Being a dad today is about more than providing. It’s about showing up emotionally, being present and being part of a team. But none of that happens by accident, it takes preparation, and it takes space for men to learn and grow without judgement.

Where we go from here
If you’re a mum-to-be reading this, one of the most powerful things you can do is involve your partner in the preparation process. Whether it’s recommending a class, sharing resources or even gifting him a course designed for dads, it sends a clear message: we’re in this together. It can help him feel included, informed and more confident about what’s to come.

And if you’re a dad reading this, well, you’ve already taken an important step. Just by engaging with this conversation, you’re showing up. You’re seeking support, wanting to understand more and laying the groundwork for being the kind of parent you want to be.

The truth is, fatherhood isn’t something you’re expected to just “know” how to do. Like anything else, it takes learning, patience and support. That support is out there and we’re here to help you find it.

Parenting is a shared experience. When both parents feel informed and supported, families are stronger, relationships are healthier and children thrive.

No dad should have to navigate this alone and with the right support, no dad has to.

Gordon Dowall-Potter is the founder of the multi award-winning MANtenatal programme – the UK’s leading antenatal education platform designed specifically for dads-to-be. Gordon works alongside NHS services and perinatal professionals to improve education, awareness and emotional support for men as they prepare for fatherhood. Learn more at www.mantenatal.com

Jul 10

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Home alone

By Iain Boyle Childcare and Nannying, houses and property, Legal, Relationships, Safety

by Hayley Garner
NSPCC Local Campaigns Manager

For parents and carers, the summer months can be a tricky time as they try to balance the school holidays with work and childcare commitments. Many might be wondering whether their child is ready to be left unsupervised, or may have concerns about someone else’s child being left alone.

While there is no legal age a child can be left home alone, it is against the law to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk. Every child matures differently, so it would be impossible to have a ‘one size fits all’ law.

As a general rule babies and toddlers should never be left alone. This applies not just to leaving them home alone but also in your car while you run into the shops.

A very young child or one who does not feel comfortable should never be left home alone.

We would also recommend against leaving children under 12 alone, particularly for long periods of time. Children aged six to 12 years are usually too young to walk home from school alone, babysit or cook for themselves without adult supervision. It is worth considering leaving them at a friend’s house, with family or finding suitable childcare.

Once your child is at secondary school you could talk to them about how they would feel if they were left alone at home. Whether they are 12 years old or almost 18, there might be reasons they don’t feel safe in the house alone, and it is vital they feel comfortable and safe being left unsupervised.

If your child feels ready to be left at home alone, there are some simple things you can do to help keep them safe.

Set some grounds rules Make sure they know what to do if the phone or doorbell rings. Write down all your contact numbers and the numbers of friends and family in case you can’t be reached. Agree in advance if friends are allowed over.

Practise what to do in an emergency
Even though it is unlikely it is best to prepare for anything that might go wrong while you are out. Come up with a safety plan for different scenarios, such as a fire or burglary.

Make sure they are really safe online
Consider if there are any games or sites they might have access to while you are out that might upset them or put them in danger. Discuss what they are allowed to do while you are out and remind them not to give out any personal details online. More information on staying safe online can be found on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk

Be clear about when you will be back
Make sure they are clear about what time you will be back and how you will let them know if your plans change.

Check in with them
Give your child a call every so often. If it is the first time they have been left alone, try to check in regularly. Even if your child is older and has been left home alone before, you should still check in once every few hours, particularly if you are out late.

Build up slowly
Leave them for a short time at first, no more than 20 minutes, then build up over time and keep checking in to make sure they are comfortable. Being left home alone for an hour is very different to being alone for a whole afternoon or overnight. We would not recommend leaving your child home alone overnight if they are under 16 years old.

You can find more advice on how to keep your child safe on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk. Children can find support at www.childline.org.uk or by calling 0800 1111 and speaking to a trained Childline counsellor.

Adults with concerns about a child can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000 or by emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk

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