Health Archives - ABC Magazine

Nov 18

Why toilet training a year earlier is an urgent issue

By Iain Boyle baby health, Childcare and Nannying, children's health, Health, special educational needs, Wellbeing

Toilet training children a year earlier could solve a host of issues in the education and health service and improve children’s overall health and wellbeing – so why aren’t policymakers pushing forward measures to support families doing it sooner?

ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity, with support from Kindred Squared and Jodie Gosling MP, recently hosted a Parliamentary roundtable discussion bringing together key stakeholders in early years, education and children’s health and social care, to discuss the huge impact delayed toilet training is having on children’s lives. The discussion centered around the significant opportunities that exist to improve children’s health, social care, education and wellbeing by toilet training earlier.

The charity is pushing for clear guidance around toilet training, greater benchmarking of children’s progress, and standardised training for professionals supporting families in early years (including health visitors and early years practitioners).

Over the last two generations, the average age that children are being toilet trained in the UK has risen from 12-18 months, to an average of around three or even four years today. Later toilet training increases the risk of developing wetting and soiling issues later and also prevents the early identification of bladder and bowel problems.

The impact is profound across education, health and social care:
• A staggering 1 in 4 children start school still not toilet trained.
• 90% of teachers have at least one child in their class who is not fully toilet trained.
• On average 2.4 hours of teacher time is lost every day supporting children who are not school ready to catch up – directly affecting educational outcomes for all children in the class and hampering the Government’s mission to ensure children start school ready to learn.
• Hospital admissions for childhood constipation (which can be exacerbated by delayed toilet training) have increased by 60% over the past decade (over 44,000 children last year).

The charity argues that if children were toilet trained a year earlier, it would improve outcomes for children, save children’s health and education services time and money, and reduce the environmental impact of nappies going to landfill. The potential positive impacts are significant:
• Reduce the social and emotional impact of delayed toilet training on the child: Two thirds of teachers (65%) and 58% of parents agree that not being ready for school when starting Reception could have long term impacts on a child’s success in later life. Ensuring they are toilet trained well in advance of starting school means they’re less likely to feel embarrassed or be ostracized from their peers, which can have a profound effect on their early days in school.
• Better education: If they didn’t have to deal with children who weren’t toilet trained, teachers could save up to 456 hours – that’s around 10 days of extra teaching time they could spend focusing on improving children’s education over the academic year.
• Better health: There is a link between delayed toilet training and childhood constipation. Currently 1 in 3 children suffer from constipation. In a single year, the NHS spent £168 million treating constipation.
By preventing a number of children from suffering from this, it could also save the NHS a significant amount. The cost of treating constipation is equivalent to funding 7304 newly qualified nurses for a year.
• Better for the environment: It’s estimated that the average child uses between 4,000 and 6,000 disposable nappies before they are toilet trained, and the UK disposes of around 3bn disposable nappies annually. If every child was toilet trained one year earlier, we could save between 5.3bn – 7.1bn nappies from going to landfill.
• Cost savings for parents: Parents in the UK can expect to spend approximately £1,000 on disposable nappies per child from birth to toilet training. This translates to about £400 per year for disposable nappies. So by toilet training earlier, they could save themselves up to £400 – that’s equivalent to about two weeks of nursery fees in some parts of the country, or perhaps a UK family holiday.

Siân Wicks, CEO of ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity said: “ERIC calls for children to be toilet trained a year earlier. We have reviewed the evidence base, examined the impact on the child and family that delayed toilet training has. It is time to reduce the stigma. It is essential that we raise the profile of this debate. We are calling for clear national guidance, both for families and professionals, particularly for those who support children in early years.There has been clear guidance on issues like breastfeeding and sleep, but not on toilet training; yet, as we’ve seen, this is causing a host of issues that are costing families, society and the government dearly. There needs to be a greater sense of collective responsibility for children’s bowel and bladder health, and all stakeholders across government, children’s health, education and social care need to work together to support families to reach this milestone sooner.”

Felicity Gillespie, Director of Kindred Squared said: “Our research shows that parents are keen for clear, simple and evidence-backed advice. That’s why we’ve worked with the early years sector to produce startingreception.co.uk. The medical evidence is clear; unless there is a diagnosed medical need, children are best served by being out of nappies between 18 and 30 months. We welcome Eric’s efforts to spread this information as widely as possible!”

Jodie Gosling, MP, said: “Too many children are starting school feeling anxious, isolated, or even ashamed – simply because they haven’t been supported to reach a basic developmental milestone: being toilet trained. The removal of Sure Start provision has left families without the necessary infrastructure to learn and thrive. This isn’t just about nappies. It’s about dignity. It’s about confidence. And it’s about giving every child the best possible start in life. We’ve heard today how delayed toilet training is affecting not just individual children, but their families, entire classrooms, our NHS, and our environment. The evidence is clear – and the cost of inaction is too high. This is an issue that requires urgent, coordinated action. We need clear national guidance, better training for early years professionals, and a shared commitment across government to support families in reaching this milestone sooner. Because when we help children thrive from the very beginning, we all benefit.”

Alison Morton, CEO of Institute of Health Visiting, said: “Gaining mastery of your own bladder and bowel function is an important milestone in a child’s development. However, toileting practices and advice have changed over the years, and are heavily impacted by marketing tactics to delay toileting and prolong the use of nappies under the guise of ‘waiting until children are ready’. This has a human, financial and environmental cost. I encourage all professionals to maintain high expectations for the ability of all children, including those with disabilities, to achieve the skills for toileting. Unnecessary delays and low expectations are limiting children’s life chances and can have lifelong consequences. Getting this right is not really a choice, it is fundamental for children’s dignity, safety and quality of life”.

For further information please visit www.eric.org.uk

Nov 18

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The silent sugar surge – and how parents can help their children eat smarter

By Iain Boyle baby health, Education, Exercise, family, Food & Eating

by Monica Price
Nutritional Therapist

Being a parent can be full of challenges – especially when you have to start navigating food for your children. When you step into any supermarket you’ll be surrounded by brightly packaged snacks, ‘low sugar’ yogurts, cartoon-covered cereal boxes, and juice pouches that claim to be ‘healthy’ or ‘natural’. But behind the clever marketing lies a harsh truth because many of these convenience foods are packed with hidden sugars and they’re contributing to a worrying trend of the rise in childhood obesity and early years health issues, such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and even liver problems.

Sugar isn’t just in sweets. It hides in cereals, granola bars, yogurt, flavoured water and juice, pasta sauces, ketchup, snack packs and shop bought ready-made meals.

Many of these foods are marketed to look like the healthy choice – but even a ‘no added sugar’ fruit snack can have as much sugar as a small chocolate bar.

The UK NHS recommends no more than 19g (about five teaspoons) of free sugars per day for children aged four to six. Some popular children’s yogurts contain more than that in one pot.

So what can you do?
Making healthy food choices for your child doesn’t have to mean cutting out all treats or spending hours in the kitchen.

It’s about education, awareness of food and making small changes to their diet that make a big difference over time.

My top five tips are:
1. Learn to read food labels together
Turn your shopping trip into a mini scavenger hunt – teach your child to spot sugar on labels. It hides under many names, including:
• Glucose
• Fructose
• Corn syrup
• Honey
• Fruit juice concentrate

Aim for foods with less than 5g of sugar per 100g for everyday choices.

Top Tip: If sugar is listed in the first three ingredients – it’s a red flag so avoid it.

2. Reduce sugary snacks
Total sugar bans can lead to obsession or secret snacking for a child so instead:
• Save sugary treats for special occasions, like birthdays or weekends
• Offer fruits, nuts, cheese, or oatcakes as after-school snacks
• Use words to explain to your child so they can understand.

Children learn by repetition and routine. The more you offer better options, the more likely they’ll get used to them.

3. Cook together and talk about food
Children are far more likely to try something if they have helped make it.
• Get them to wash vegetables, stir sauces, or choose toppings
• Talk about where food comes from – what grows in the ground, what animals produce and how it ends up on their plate
• Try growing herbs, tomatoes or lettuce at home or in a pot on a windowsill

This helps them connect food with health and gives them ownership over their choices.

4. Offer variety without pressure
We often fall into the habit of rotating the same four or five meals and snacks our children claim they like, but start to introduce different foods to encourage a healthy gut, stronger immunity and lower sugar cravings.

Don’t stress if your child doesn’t take to a new food right away. It can sometimes take up to 10 -15 tries before a child accepts something new.

Top Tip: Put new foods next to familiar ones instead of replacing them. A few slices of raw pepper beside their usual sandwich for example.

5. Choose water first
Juice, squash and fizzy drinks are the biggest sources of unnecessary sugar for children.

Even 100% fruit juice, while natural, is high in sugar and lacks the fibre whole fruit offers.
• Make water the default drink
• Try adding fresh fruit, cucumber, or mint for natural flavour
• Save juices and fizzy drinks for occasional treats – not as a daily habit.

Remember you are not alone – it’s OK if your child doesn’t eat kale or quinoa – what matters is that you are teaching them to understand what healthy food is, to empower them as they grow older to make informed choices.

You are then setting the stage for life long healthy eating habits – and that is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child.

Monica Price is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, Writer and Broadcaster. She is the go-to expert for health and wellbeing on national television and radio stations across the UK.

www.monica-price.co.uk

Nov 15

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Why children need outdoor play – and simple ways to encourage it

By Iain Boyle Early Years, Education, environment, Forest School, Wellbeing

by Dr John Allan,
Head of Impact and Breakthrough Learning at PGL Beyond

In a world dominated by screens, getting children outdoors has never been more urgent – or more important. Outdoor activity offers far more than just physical exercise: it nurtures resilience, builds confidence and develops a wide range of skills that can’t be replicated indoors.

Outdoor play provides conditions rarely found indoors. The unpredictability and multi-sensory nature of being outdoors challenges children to think creatively. Outdoor activities encourage children to explore, make decisions and adapt, building confidence and independence along the way. A child who is used to this is more likely to view setbacks in life as problems that can be solved, or even as stepping stones to growth.

Research shows that children who develop strong psychosocial skills early report better adult outcomes, including higher educational attainment, stronger employment prospects and improved mental health.

Learning new skills – whether physical, cognitive or social – is fundamental to healthy development. Outdoor experiences accelerate this process by fostering a balance of physical, social cognitive and emotional literacy at a time when brain development is most rapid.

Building resilience is central to this process. Psychosocial skills – such as self-awareness, empathy, creativity and adaptability – are established through varied, hands-on, practical experiences. Children who overcome physical obstacles can learn to ‘bounce beyond’ their original position, facing future challenges of all kinds with greater strength. This helps them to build the confidence and mental flexibility that supports both academic achievement and long-term wellbeing.

Getting children away from screens and embracing the outdoors
To inspire children to swap screens for fresh air, make outdoor activity accessible and enjoyable. Start small: set mini challenges such as a scavenger hunt or a timed bike ride. Lead by example – children are more likely to embrace the outdoors if parents value it too, whether through weekend walks, gardening or simply spending time outside together.

You can also weave outdoor experiences into daily routines; taking homework into the garden, organising play dates outdoors or using walks to school as opportunities to explore and chat. Consistency is key; when outdoor activity becomes a natural part of daily life, children see it as rewarding rather than a chore.

Five practical ways to encourage outdoor play
1. Choose a mix of activities
Outdoor play can come in many forms – climbing, cycling, splashing in puddles or exploring woodlands. Progressive exposure to uncertainty is not only healthy but essential for wellbeing. Parents can help by choosing a mix of activities that are both challenging and fun, such as adventure playgrounds or family walks.

2. Don’t let a little rain dampen the fun
The British weather is famously unpredictable, but outdoor play in the rain is just as rewarding. With waterproof clothing and a sense of adventure, children can thrive in wet conditions too.

3. Set smart boundaries on screen time
Today’s young people are predicted to spend the equivalent of 25 years of their lives looking at screens! Every hour sat staring at screens is an hour that could be spent outdoors, exploring, moving or simply playing. Instead, parents can set simple boundaries: no phones at mealtimes, less screen time before bed and encouragement to swap virtual play for real-world adventures.

4. Make movement part of everyday
For children aged five to 17, at least 60 minutes of moderate or vigorous activity daily is recommended. Bike rides, swimming or simply walking to school all count. These habits boost fitness, reduce anxiety and set the foundation for healthier adult lifestyles.

5. Let them learn by doing
For older children especially, independence is vital. Allowing them the freedom to wobble, stumble, fall and get back up teaches resilience. Over-protection, by contrast, can limit their ability to cope with setbacks. Activities that carry both risk and reward – such as trail walking – help young people practise bouncing back.

Children need more than exercise – they need experiences that challenge, inspire and prepare them for the future. Outdoor activity provides stronger physical health, confidence, self-esteem and resilience. Only the unpredictability and vitality of the outdoors offers the mix of skills young people need to thrive in today’s fast-changing world.

Dr John Allan is a leading academic in Sports Pedagogy, Psychology and Adventure Education.

Nov 10

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Growing confidence

By Iain Boyle Education, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

Why many children are struggling and how parents can help

Confidence is often described as the quiet superpower that shapes a child’s life, influencing everything from their mental wellbeing to their willingness to try new things and build friendships. Yet, recent research shows that a significant number of children in the UK are facing a confidence crisis – one that could have lasting impacts if left unaddressed.

The Listen Up Report from youth and education agency Hark reveals that up to one in three adolescents nationwide experience little or no confidence. While the report focuses on young people aged 11 to 18, many of the challenges it highlights are rooted in earlier childhood and can begin to take shape well before secondary school.

What is the ‘confidence crisis’?
Children with low confidence often struggle to speak up in class, join social activities or express their opinions. This ‘unheard third’ – roughly 10 children in every classroom – may find it difficult to participate fully in school and social life, which can hold them back academically and emotionally.

The report found that at age 11, when children start secondary school, around 29% already feel little or no confidence. This figure rises as children face new pressures and transitions during adolescence. Although confidence can improve with time, early experiences are crucial in shaping a child’s self-belief and future aspirations.

What’s behind the decline in confidence?
The factors contributing to this crisis are complex and interconnected:
• The lingering impact of Covid-19
School closures and social isolation disrupted normal childhood development, making it harder for children to build social skills and resilience.
• Social media and online pressure
Even younger children are exposed to the pressures of maintaining an ‘online persona’ through siblings or early access to technology. The fear of judgment and comparison can chip away at their self-esteem.
• Fear of judgment and lack of emotional safety
Many children, particularly girls and those from minority groups, feel they cannot speak openly without being misunderstood or judged harshly. This fear stifles their confidence to express themselves authentically.

Without safe spaces at school or home to discuss feelings and experiences, children may internalise their doubts, leading to a downward spiral of invisibility and self-doubt.

Why early confidence matters
Confidence in childhood is not just about feeling good in the moment – it shapes how children engage with learning, develop friendships and approach challenges.

Children who lack confidence are less likely to participate in class, join clubs or speak up, which means they miss out on valuable opportunities to grow and be seen.

This invisibility can become a self-perpetuating cycle – the quieter a child is, the less support and encouragement they receive, further eroding their confidence and narrowing their future possibilities.

What can parents do?
The good news is that confidence is not a fixed trait – it can be nurtured and developed with the right support and environment. Parents play a vital role in helping their children build belief in themselves. Here are some practical ways to help:
• Create safe spaces for expression
Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Listen actively and validate their experiences.
• Celebrate small successes
Recognise and praise your child’s efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This builds a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
• Model confidence and positive self-talk
Children learn by example. Show them how to approach challenges with a growth mindset and kindness towards themselves.
• Support social skills development
Encourage play dates, group activities and social interactions that help your child practise communication and cooperation.
• Be patient and persistent
Building confidence is a journey, not a race. Consistent encouragement and under-standing make a big difference over time.

A call to listen louder
Every child’s confidence journey is unique, and it’s vital that parents, teachers and communities work together to see, hear and value each child. The Listen Up Report reminds us that confidence gaps are not personality flaws but broken social patterns that can be changed.

By fostering environments where quieter voices can thrive and teaching children to believe in themselves, we can help them step through doors they might not even see are open to them.

This article is based on insights from Hark’s Listen Up Report 2025, a comprehensive study on youth confidence in the UK. Hark is a London-based education and youth agency with over 30 years’ experience supporting young people and organisations to build confidence and skills. For further details or to read the full report please visit www.harklondon.com/listen-up/

Nov 05

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Beyond the curtain: The academic benefits of performing arts education

By Iain Boyle dance & Art, fun for children, Mental health, panto, Panto

by Theatretrain
www.theatretrain.co.uk

Performing arts education is more than a creative outlet. Studies show that involvement in theatre, dance and music leads to better memory, concentration, literacy and overall school performance.

While the spotlight shines on stage, the benefits of performing arts reach far into the classroom. Far from being a distraction from academics, the arts actually enhance learning – in measurable and meaningful ways.

Boosting brain function
Neuroscience confirms that engaging in music, dance and drama activates multiple areas of the brain. These areas are also responsible for:
• Memory
• Language processing
• Concentration
• Emotional regulation

This means children involved in the arts are often better equipped to handle academic challenges.

Improved literacy and language skills
In drama, students constantly read, write, speak and listen. These tasks build:
• Vocabulary
• Reading fluency
• Comprehension
• Verbal confidence

Performers must understand tone, intent and narrative structure – all of which transfer to English and literacy studies.

Enhanced memory and focus
Memorising lines and choreography requires mental discipline. Students develop tools for:
• Retaining information
• Sustained concentration
• Pattern recognition

These skills apply directly to learning maths, science and other subjects.

Creative thinking in problem solving
Performing arts encourage ‘thinking outside the box’. Children learn to:
• Approach challenges creatively
• Link ideas across subjects
• Use storytelling to understand complex ideas

Emotional regulation and academic confidence
Children involved in the arts often:
• Handle stress better
• Express frustration in a healthier way
• Believe more strongly in their own abilities

This emotional resilience supports classroom learning and behaviour.

Team learning in arts and academics
Performing in a group teaches cooperative learning, a key approach in modern classrooms. Students learn to:
• Share responsibility
• Respect diverse ideas
• Learn through doing

What the research says
A report from the Arts Education Partnership found that students involved in the arts consistently outperform their peers in academic subjects and standardised tests.

Famous supporters of arts in education
Actor and singer Julie Andrews said, “I think music and the arts should be a mandatory part of every school day.” Her belief is backed by research showing real academic benefits.

Tips for parents
• Encourage your child’s arts involvement alongside school.
• Highlight the connections between arts and academics.
• Celebrate progress and curiosity, not just grades.

Final thoughts
The arts don’t compete with academics – they complement and enhance them. By engaging in theatre, dance and music, students become more focused, expressive and successful in school.

At Theatretrain, we believe the stage and the classroom go hand in hand. When young people perform, they don’t just entertain – they grow. For further information on Theatretrain please contact Gaynor on 07856 959299 or visit www.theatretrain.co.uk/brighton

Nov 04

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Nurturing mums-to-be: The gentle benefits of pregnancy massage and holistic care

By Iain Boyle beauty, family, Mental health

by Miki Hussein
Sunflower Holistic Massage

Pregnancy is exciting, life-changing and full of joy, but it can also be tiring. A growing bump often brings sore backs, swollen ankles, restless nights and more stress than you’d like. One simple way to ease some of that is with pregnancy massage. It’s gentle, safe, and designed to help you feel comfortable again. If you are expecting, massage can be a wonderful way to take care of yourself. Alongside reflexology and holistic facials, it helps you relax, release tension and feel more connected to your body as it changes.

Why massage helps during pregnancy
Your body is working harder than ever. As your bump grows, your centre of gravity shifts and that can mean discomfort in the lower back, hips and pelvis. A specially trained pregnancy massage therapist will use side-lying positions and supportive pillows so you feel secure. Massage eases tired muscles, improves circulation and can help with swelling in the feet and ankles. Many women also find they sleep better afterwards.

The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) and UK health professionals note that massage can reduce stress, improve posture, ease headaches caused by tension and help with mood. When your body feels more at ease, you’re more likely to rest well and cope better with the day-to-day.

The emotional side of massage
A lovely extra benefit of regular massage sessions during pregnancy or after birth is the chance to talk with someone who understands. A therapist experienced with maternity work has supported many women through the same ups and downs. That safe space to share how you’re feeling can be hugely reassuring. You might discover that the odd sensations, strange twinges or concerns you’ve noticed are all perfectly common. Sometimes just hearing “That’s normal” is enough to put your mind at ease.

Other supportive therapies: reflexology, facials and holistic treatments
Massage isn’t the only option. Reflexology is a gentle therapy using pressure points on the feet that link to different areas of the body. Many mums-to-be find it helps ease backache, nausea or water retention, as well as promoting better sleep.

Holistic facials can also be a treat in pregnancy. Hormonal changes often affect skin, leaving it dry, oily or more sensitive. A pregnancy-safe facial using gentle products soothes, hydrates and gives you a glow without irritation. These treatments are relaxing as well as practical, helping you feel cared for when your body is changing.

Why organic products matter
Your skin is your body’s largest organ, and while there’s no need to worry, it makes sense to choose carefully what you put on it. During pregnancy skin is often more sensitive, so organic products are a great choice. Therapists who use Soil Association certified skincare avoid unnecessary chemicals and synthetic fragrances. It’s about peace of mind, knowing that what’s being massaged into your skin is safe for both you and your bump.

Safety and timing
NHS advice says that massage is generally safe after the first trimester if you’re healthy, but always check with your midwife or GP if you have complications. Some oils aren’t suitable, and positions need adjusting, so it’s important to see a therapist who is trained in maternity work. Reflexology and facials are also safe when carried out by someone experienced in pregnancy care.

After the baby arrives
Massage doesn’t stop being useful once your little one is here. Postnatal massage helps with tired shoulders from feeding, sore backs from carrying and the general exhaustion of those early weeks. It boosts circulation, aids recovery and gives you precious time to recharge.

Reflexology or a calming facial can also be lovely ways to feel balanced again. Having that hour to yourself is more than pampering; it’s an investment in your wellbeing and helps you feel stronger, calmer and ready to enjoy time with your baby.

Putting it all together
Imagine this: you wake up, bump feeling heavy, back sore from sleep. After a pregnancy massage you feel lighter, more mobile, tension lifted from your shoulders. That evening you finally get a deeper sleep. Add in the relaxation of reflexology or the freshness of a holistic facial and the benefits build week by week. Less stress, fewer aches, more comfort and more confidence.

Pregnancy massage and other holistic therapies are not indulgences. They are supportive, practical ways to make life easier and more enjoyable during this special time – and beyond.

Miki is a mum of four and a therapist with over 20 years’ experience. She has treated hundreds of pregnant women, and while she works with all kinds of clients, supporting mums-to-be is what she loves most. Based in Worthing, Miki uses beautiful organic products such as Pink’s Boutique, and also offers reflexology and holistic facials in a calm, caring space. For further information please visit www.sunflowerholisticmassage.com

Nov 02

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The role of resilience in learning

By Iain Boyle Education, Mental health, numeracy skills, reading, Uncategorized

by Katie Morgan
Head of Pre-Prep, Great Ballard

Helping your child reach their academic potential

Childhood isn’t something to be hurried through or outgrown. It’s something to be treasured, protected and nurtured. Children should have the opportunity to climb trees, sit around campfires and learn what it means to be both independent and part of a community – and this spirit of curiosity and courage is just as important in the classroom as it is outdoors.

When it comes to learning, resilience plays a key role in helping children reach their academic potential. It’s not just about doing well in tests or ticking off tasks, it’s about developing the internal tools to keep going when things get difficult, to bounce back from mistakes and to believe in their ability to grow and improve. Resilient children are not immune to failure, they embrace it. They understand that setbacks are not signs of weakness, but opportunities to learn and adapt. They try, fall short, reassess and try again. And perhaps most importantly, they don’t rely solely on being ‘clever’ or ‘naturally gifted’ at something. Instead, they develop the mindset that effort, persistence and making mistakes are what lead to success.

This shift in thinking is at the heart of Growth Mindset, a concept introduced by psychologist Carol Dweck. Children (and adults) with a Growth Mindset believe that intelligence and ability are not fixed traits but can be developed with effort and time. Contrast that with a Fixed Mindset, where children might say, “I’m not good at maths,” or “I’ll never be picked for the cricket team.” These beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, halting progress before it even begins. Instead, we can help children shift their internal dialogue to something more empowering: “I can’t do this yet”, “If I keep practising, I’ll get there.” Parents play a critical role in shaping this thinking. Praising effort over outcome: “You worked so hard on that project,” rather than “You’re so smart” reinforces the idea that what matters is the process, not just the result.

This starts early – as toddlers learn to walk they wobble, they fall and they try again, undeterred. We cheer them on with gentle encouragement: “You can do it! Have another go!” In that moment, we instinctively understand that struggling is essential. But as children grow, and academic expectations increase, we sometimes lose sight of that truth. We want to protect them from frustration and disappointment, but in doing so, we risk stealing the very struggle that helps build resilience. Even our well-meaning attempts to comfort can unintentionally undermine a child’s sense of capability. Phrases like “Don’t worry, you don’t need to be good at everything” or “You’ll drop that subject soon anyway” send the message that some things are simply beyond their reach. But what children really need to hear is that persistence matters, that making mistakes is part of the journey and that with effort, they can get better.

One of the most practical things we can do is to help our children set meaningful goals. Not just the daily adult-led ‘to-do list’ goals like finishing homework or tidying their room but the ‘big dream’ goals that come from their own passions and interests. Whether it’s building a LEGO castle, learning a skateboard trick or writing a story, self-directed goals build motivation and show children what it feels like to work towards something that matters to them. Setting goals also taps into how our brains are wired. Every time we reach a milestone, our brains release dopamine (the ‘feel good’ chemical associated with achievement). Even the act of planning toward a goal can boost motivation. Children feel empowered when they take ownership of their aspirations, and that confidence carries over into more challenging areas of learning. When we combine that with a strong sense of perseverance (the ability to keep going despite setbacks), we’re giving our children a powerful foundation.

One effective strategy is to help them build a ‘catalogue of proof’: a mental (or even physical) list of things they’ve overcome. From learning to ride a bike to performing in a play, these small wins show children that they are capable, even when things are hard. Later, when they’re struggling with a spelling test or a tricky bit of maths, they can draw on that evidence: I’ve done hard things before, I can do this too.

Equally important is helping them see their mistakes not as failures, but as part of the process. Talk openly about your own errors and what you’ve learned from them. Instead of focusing solely on results, provide feedback that highlights strategy, effort and progress. Ask open-ended questions: “What did you try?” “What might you do differently next time?” “What worked well?” All of this takes time, patience and consistency. Resilience doesn’t happen overnight, it’s something we nurture over months and years, through small everyday moments. A bedtime chat about what went well today. A word of encouragement when homework feels tough. A quiet moment spent really listening to what’s on their mind, no matter how little it may seem.

It may also help to build habits around gratitude. Research shows that practising gratitude, whether through simple conversations at dinnertime or by journaling, boosts mental wellbeing. A child who regularly reflects on what they’re thankful for is more likely to maintain perspective during difficult moments. Their ‘gratitude bank’ becomes a buffer against life’s inevitable bumps.

Finally, let’s not forget the power of environment and routine. Small acts of ‘situational support’ (laying out clothes the night before, putting their bag by the front door or setting up a dedicated homework space) can reduce stress and build a sense of control and independence.

Helping children become resilient learners isn’t about shielding them from difficulty, it’s about walking alongside them as they navigate it. It’s about fostering curiosity, celebrating effort and creating space for them to struggle, reflect and grow. Because academic potential isn’t just about what a child knows. It’s about how they respond when they don’t know something – yet.

Great Ballard is a small school with big ambitions, providing affordable education from Nursery to GCSE. We believe wellbeing is the foundation that allows the real learning to happen. www.greatballard.co.uk

Nov 01

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Educating the whole child

By Iain Boyle Education, Mental health

by Kirsty Keep, Francesca Milling and Matt Thomas
Heads of the Lancing College Preparatory Schools – Lancing Preps Hove & Worthing and Dorset House

Why character matters as much as curriculum

In an age where academic achievement often takes centre stage, it’s easy to overlook the quieter, yet equally vital, aspects of a child’s development. Prep schools are increasingly recognising that success in life is not measured solely by exam results, but by the strength of a child’s character, how they treat others, how they respond to challenges and how they understand themselves.

Character education is not a new concept, but it has taken on renewed importance in recent years. Schools are placing greater emphasis on nurturing values such as kindness, empathy, resilience and integrity. These qualities are not taught in isolation but are embedded in the daily life of most schools – through assemblies, classroom discussions, peer interactions and the way staff model behaviour.

Children thrive in environments where they feel safe, respected and heard. When schools create a culture that values emotional intelligence as much as academic performance, children are more likely to take risks, express themselves and develop a genuine love of learning. They become more confident, more compassionate and better equipped to navigate the complexities of growing up.

One of the most powerful tools in this approach is the development of emotional literacy. Helping children to recognise and regulate their emotions from an early age builds a foundation for lifelong wellbeing. It also fosters empathy. When children understand their own feelings, they are better able to understand the feelings of others.

This is particularly important in the early years, when children are still learning how to navigate social situations and build relationships. Encouraging children to talk about their emotions, reflect on their behaviour and understand the impact of their actions helps them to develop a strong sense of self and a deeper connection to those around them.

Schools that focus on both character education alongside academic achievement often adopt proactive strategies to support emotional development. These may include mindfulness activities, peer mentoring and structured programmes that teach self-regulation and resilience. Such initiatives not only help children manage their emotions but also empower them to ask for help when they need it.

Importantly, this approach to education doesn’t mean lowering academic standards. On the contrary, children who feel emotionally supported are more likely to engage deeply with their learning. They are more resilient in the face of setbacks and more motivated to achieve their personal best. When children are taught to value effort, kindness and curiosity, they become learners who are not only capable but also courageous.

Educating the whole child means recognising that every child is unique, with their own strengths, challenges and potential. It means creating a school environment where values are lived, not just taught. It means preparing children not just for the next stage of their education, but for life.

In a world that is constantly changing, the ability to adapt, empathise and lead with integrity is more important than ever. By placing character at the heart of education, prep schools are helping to shape a generation of young people who will not only succeed academically but also contribute positively to their communities in the future.

The Lancing College family includes its two Prep Schools located in Hove and Worthing, Dorset House School in Pulborough and Little Lancing Day Nursery & Forest School.
www.lancingcollege.co.uk, www.lancingprephove.co.uk, www.lancingprepworthing.co.uk, www.dorsethouseschool.com, www.littlelancing.co.uk

Aug 08

Love0

The mindful family holiday

By Iain Boyle environment, family, Family Farms, fun for children, Holiday camps, Relationships, Wellbeing

by Adry Capodanno
The Holiday Fixer

10 tips to make travel more memorable (and less expensive)

Family holidays don’t have to be expensive or packed with attractions to be unforgettable. In fact, the most powerful memories are often born in the small, ordinary moments – especially for children. When we shift from “doing more” to “noticing more”, the whole experience becomes richer, calmer, and often, more affordable.

Mindfulness on holiday simply means approaching the trip with a little more intention – and making space in the day for your child to fully experience where they are.

Here are 10 experience-backed ways to bring more presence, connection and lasting joy into your family holidays – without overloading your itinerary or your wallet.

1. Even a simple holiday is a big deal for children
As adults, we often crave ease – a familiar resort, a beach where we don’t have to think, or a well-trodden ski route. It’s easy to feel like we’re just “recharging”. But for children, even the simplest holiday is an exciting experience. The texture of hotel bedding, the sound of a different language, the way the sun feels in a new place – it’s all new. You don’t need to seek out constant stimulation. That hotel breakfast buffet may feel routine to you, but for a child, it’s exciting and fascinating.

2. Leave ‘breathing room’ in the day
There’s a temptation to make the most of every moment, especially if the holiday has been hard-earned. But over-scheduling leaves everyone overstimulated and tired. Instead, keep the itinerary light. Aim for one or two structured plans per day, and let the rest unfold. That half hour spent sitting in a town square eating crisps, or watching snow fall outside a café window, often becomes the memory they talk about later.

3. Begin the experience before you even leave home
Children connect more deeply to places they feel familiar with. Introduce your destination early – through a short video, a picture book, or a few fun facts. Learn how to say “hello” and “thank you” in the local language. When your child sees that same flag, animal or landmark in real life, the recognition brings pride and excitement – “I know this!”

4. Use a destination-themed holiday bingo
This is a brilliant way to help younger children stay engaged. Create a bingo card with images specific to the location: a monument, the local flag, a food item, a traditional costume or a certain animal. The moment your child spots one and ticks it off, it becomes a little victory and the thrill on their face is priceless! It turns sightseeing into a game, and gently encourages them to look around more closely.

5. Let their senses lead
Taste, smell and touch are powerful memory anchors. If your child falls in love with a pastry or gelato, let them have it again – consistency helps memories stick. Let them choose a local soap or spice to take home. A few years from now, that scent might take them straight back to a tiny village bakery or the steps of a museum.

6. Invite them to observe and create
You don’t need to give them a travel journal – though some children love that. A disposable camera, a sketchbook, or even a prompt like “What do you think is the story of this small cafe?” helps children engage with their surroundings. Drawing a lighthouse, taking a photo of a street performer, or collecting small treasures like ticket stubs or postcards adds personal meaning to the trip.

7. Let them interact with the place – not just watch it
Encourage small interactions. Let your child say “merci” at the bakery, ask the tour guide a question, or learn a game from local children. You are teaching them that the world is full of people with different ways of life – and that it’s OK to be a guest in someone else’s culture.

8. Give children a say
Let them help make decisions – choosing between two places to visit, picking a route to walk or a plan B when it rains. When they feel part of the process, they’re more present and interested, they gain a sense of agency and connection to the journey.

9. Mix destinations – strategically
If possible, include more than one stop. Studies in cognitive psychology show that the brain segments memory by context and environment. A few days by the sea, followed by time in a town or mountainside village, creates variety. A shift in scenery helps children form clearer, more durable memories. The key is to transition thoughtfully, not rush.

10. Keep the story going at home
When you get home, print a few photos. Let your child pick their favourites. Display a postcard, a shell, or a drawing. Talk about the best bits over dinner. Retelling the story of your trip helps children internalise it and treasure it.

You don’t need to do more, or spend more, to give your children a meaningful holiday. Instead, notice more – and help them do the same. The real luxury lies in unhurried time together, where the pace lets moments breathe and children can connect with the world – and with you.

Whether you’re surfing down a sand dune, exploring a Christmas market, or watching fish dart under a pedal boat, it’s the moments you truly share that will stay with them the longest.

Adry at The Holiday Fixer specialises in expert, high-quality, bespoke travel itineraries worldwide, with a focus on family holidays and friendly, stress-free, parent-to-parent service. Your next adventure is just a chat away! Contact Adry at adry@theholidayfixer.com or 07583 581042.

Aug 08

Love0

Preparing dads for fatherhood

By Iain Boyle family, Mental health, Relationships, Wellbeing

by Gordon Dowall-Potter
MANtenatal

Why support matters more than ever

For many men, becoming a father is one of life’s biggest milestones, and one of its biggest unknowns. While conversations around motherhood are supported by books, classes, apps and appointments, fatherhood is often treated like something that will “come naturally” once the baby arrives.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t always come naturally. And when men don’t feel prepared, confident or supported, the impact can ripple through their relationship, affect mental health, and family life.

Men want to be involved, but are often left guessing
The idea of dads standing awkwardly in the background while mum does everything is outdated and most modern fathers want to be hands-on from the start. They attend scans, they take paternity leave (when they can), and they’re often just as excited, and nervous, about what lies ahead.

But despite the willingness, many men describe feeling unsure, sidelined or invisible during pregnancy and the early days of parenting. Antenatal services tend to focus on maternal needs (as they should), but that leaves a lot of dads guessing about what their role is and how to prepare.

Antenatal education aimed at men can make a huge difference. It offers emotional insight, relationship tools and practical parenting skills, delivered in a way that speaks to dads directly and honestly.

This is exactly why I set up men’s antenatal classes, to educate, guide and support all dads, no matter their background, relationship status or starting point. Too often, men are expected to simply “know what to do” without ever being shown how. These classes offer a space where dads can ask questions, build confidence, and prepare emotionally, without judgement or jargon.

It’s all part of my personal mission: No Dad Left Behind. Because when we give dads the tools and the time to prepare, they show up for their partner, their baby and themselves. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. #BestDadYouCanBe

Mental health: A quiet concern for new dads
Research shows that around 1 in 10 fathers experience postnatal depression, although professionals suggest the real figure may be much higher. Unlike mums, who are routinely screened and encouraged to open up, many men still feel they need to push through alone and in silence.

Some don’t recognise the symptoms, brushing off low mood, irritability or withdrawal as tiredness or stress. Others worry that admitting they’re struggling could be seen as weakness. This silence can lead to emotional distance, tension at home and longer-term mental health issues if not addressed early.

Open, honest support and early intervention is the key – and that starts with normalising the idea that fatherhood can be just as overwhelming for men as it is for women.

The benefits of being prepared
When dads are supported in their transition to fatherhood, everyone wins.

Children benefit from stronger bonds with both parents. Partners feel more supported and less alone. And dads themselves feel more confident, connected and capable. Even knowing how to be helpful – in the birthing room, what to say, how to advocate, what not to take personally, can make a huge difference to how included and empowered a father feels.

Being a dad today is about more than providing. It’s about showing up emotionally, being present and being part of a team. But none of that happens by accident, it takes preparation, and it takes space for men to learn and grow without judgement.

Where we go from here
If you’re a mum-to-be reading this, one of the most powerful things you can do is involve your partner in the preparation process. Whether it’s recommending a class, sharing resources or even gifting him a course designed for dads, it sends a clear message: we’re in this together. It can help him feel included, informed and more confident about what’s to come.

And if you’re a dad reading this, well, you’ve already taken an important step. Just by engaging with this conversation, you’re showing up. You’re seeking support, wanting to understand more and laying the groundwork for being the kind of parent you want to be.

The truth is, fatherhood isn’t something you’re expected to just “know” how to do. Like anything else, it takes learning, patience and support. That support is out there and we’re here to help you find it.

Parenting is a shared experience. When both parents feel informed and supported, families are stronger, relationships are healthier and children thrive.

No dad should have to navigate this alone and with the right support, no dad has to.

Gordon Dowall-Potter is the founder of the multi award-winning MANtenatal programme – the UK’s leading antenatal education platform designed specifically for dads-to-be. Gordon works alongside NHS services and perinatal professionals to improve education, awareness and emotional support for men as they prepare for fatherhood. Learn more at www.mantenatal.com

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