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Childcare and Nannying

Mar 15
Love0
angry father

When the volume goes up, connection goes down

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Mental health, Relationships
by Giulia Galli
Parental Coach

How our words and our tone become their inner voice

Lately, I’ve been noticing a sound that cuts through everyday life – not laughter from the playground or the hum of conversation drifting from kitchens, but shouting. Not the occasional raised voice that slips out in frustration, but the repeated, sharp, heavy kind.

Sometimes it’s siblings snapping at each other. Sometimes it’s teenagers slamming back at parents. And often, it’s parents themselves, shouting at toddlers, at primary-age children, even at babies not yet walking.

One mother’s voice has stayed with me. Every time her one-year-old knocks something over or spills his food, her response is the same: loud, harsh, full of judgement. Every fall of a toy, every food-splattered shirt, every curious gesture that leaves a mark is met with anger. He’s only one. Just one.

And yet, what he is learning isn’t just how objects fall or how sounds are made: it’s what power feels like. What anger sounds like. What happens when you do something ‘wrong’. What it means to be small in a world where big voices rule.

Let’s be clear – this isn’t about shaming parents. We’ve all raised our voices. I have, too. Shouting happens. Sometimes we’re exhausted, sometimes we’re overstimulated, sometimes we’re carrying far more than our nervous system can handle. And many of us grew up with shouting ourselves, so it became the norm.

But here’s the truth – shouting doesn’t teach reflection. It teaches fear. It doesn’t create understanding. It creates compliance. And in children, especially very young ones, it doesn’t build confidence. It builds shame.

Think about it – when a toddler spills water, shouting doesn’t teach them how to hold the cup better next time. It teaches them that trying is dangerous. When a child touches something fragile, a loud scolding doesn’t teach caution, it teaches that curiosity isn’t safe. When a child is overwhelmed and cries, shouting doesn’t teach them how to regulate their feelings, it teaches them that big emotions aren’t allowed.

This is the danger of repeated shouting: it turns moments of behaviour into a story about identity.

“I dropped something” becomes “I’m clumsy.” “I was curious” becomes “I’m annoying.” “I was upset” becomes “I’m too much.”

Those stories stick. And they echo long after the moment has passed.

The irony is that shouting might get us what we want in the moment – it might stop the behaviour. But the cost is disconnection. We silence. We scare. We disconnect. And in that silence, children don’t learn what to do differently. They just learn to feel small.

So what’s the alternative? First, awareness. Notice when the urge to shout rises. Often, it’s not the behaviour itself that pushes us over the edge, but the meaning we attach to it: “He’s doing this on purpose.” “She never listens.” “I can’t take this anymore.” That story is what fuels the reaction.

Second, pause. Parenting gives us endless opportunities to reset. Even a few seconds can change everything. Lower your voice instead of raising it. Name your own feeling: “I’m getting frustrated.” Ask for help: “Let’s take a minute to calm down.” Step out of the room for three breaths before you respond. Replace “What’s wrong with you?” with “Let’s try again.”

Small shifts like these model something powerful. They show children that mistakes are part of learning. That emotions can be managed without force. That connection matters more than control.

Because children aren’t just learning from our instructions. They’re absorbing our example. The words and the tone we use today becomes the inner voice they’ll carry tomorrow.

Think back to your own childhood. The voices you heard most often probably still echo in your head. They may tell you to “be careful,” to “try harder,” or perhaps to “quiet down.” Those phrases, spoken in particular tones, become part of who we are. And now, as parents, we are shaping that voice for our children.

That’s why shouting is more than just noise. It’s a message. And if repeated, it becomes a belief.

This isn’t about never shouting again. None of us are perfect. It’s about noticing, repairing and choosing differently when we can. Even after we’ve raised our voice, we can come back and say, “I shouldn’t have shouted. I was tired and frustrated. Let’s try again.” That moment of repair doesn’t erase what happened, but it teaches accountability. It shows children that mistakes can be mended.

One day, our children will be grown. They may not remember every word we said. But they will remember how it felt to be with us. Was the home a place where mistakes were punished or explored? Where curiosity was stifled or encouraged? Where fear entered the room with us or safety did?

When the volume goes up, connection goes down. But when we choose calm, patience and presence instead, we give our children something far more lasting than obedience: we give them an inner voice that supports them for life.

Giulia Galli is a parental coach and author of When a Parent is Born. She supports families with intentional parenting. For further information please visit www.reegal.co.uk

Mar 09
Love0
early years

The heart of early learning – an inspirational reflection on being a nursery educator

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Education, Forest School
by Karen Martin
Tots’ Village Nursery

To step into a nursery classroom each morning is to step into a world where wonder lives in the smallest moments, where a single crayon stroke is a masterpiece in progress, where a shy smile is the start of newfound confidence and where tiny hands hold enormous potential. To be a nursery educator is to witness magic daily, but more importantly, it is to help create it.

Being a nursery educator is not simply a job; it is a calling rooted in compassion, patience and a belief in the extraordinary abilities of young children. It is the joyful responsibility of nurturing minds and hearts during the most foundational years of life. These are the years when children discover their sense of self, begin to understand how the world works and learn how to connect with others. And in the middle of every milestone, big or small, is the educator, guiding, encouraging and celebrating.

In many ways, nursery educators are architects of the future. While the world often measures success through visible achievements, nursery educators understand that success begins long before a child can read their first word or solve their first equation. In the nursery, success looks like empathy taking root when a child shares a toy unprompted. It looks like resilience when a child who was once hesitant now tries something new. It looks like curiosity every time a little voice asks,“Why?”.

These moments may seem small, but they are transformational! Nursery educators know that early childhood education is the soil in which the seeds of lifelong learning are planted. With every story read aloud, every question answered, every conflict gently resolved and every imaginative game encouraged, nursery educators help children build the emotional and cognitive foundations they will carry forever.

And yet, the job demands more than knowledge of child development. It asks educators to be storytellers, dancers, scientists, mediators, nurses, cheerleaders and sometimes even magicians! It requires them to be flexible enough to shift from teaching colours and shapes to comforting tears within seconds. It asks them to balance structure with spontaneity, offering routines that make children feel safe whilst also embracing the unexpected creativity that young minds bring into the room.

But the true beauty of being a nursery educator lies in the relationships. Children respond to the teachers who kneel down to meet their eyes, who celebrate their ideas, who make them feel seen and valued. A nursery educator knows that children learn best when they feel loved and so they fill their classrooms with warmth, encouragement and opportunities to succeed. They know that each child is different, each with their own rhythm, needs and spark and they take the time to understand those differences.

There is a profound sense of fulfilment in knowing that you are shaping the earliest experiences of learning. It is an honour to be one of the first adults a child trusts outside of their family. It is a privilege to hear the unfiltered thoughts of young minds and to watch them unfold into capable, confident learners. Nursery educators hold space for children as they navigate big feelings, celebrate first friends and find their voice.

Whilst the work is deeply meaningful, it is also undeniably challenging! The days can be long, the tasks unending and the emotional energy required immense. Yet nursery educators return each day because they know their work matters, perhaps in ways not immediately visible, but inevitably powerful. They know that the lessons they teach extend far beyond the classroom: patience, perseverance, kindness, curiosity and a love of discovery.

What makes nursery education inspirational is not only the impact educators have on children but also the impact children have on them. Children remind adults to see the world with fresh eyes, to find excitement in the ordinary and to appreciate the beauty of simple things. They remind us that progress is not always linear and that learning is as much about exploration as it is about achievement. To work with children is to witness unfiltered joy, pure honesty and boundless imagination every single day. This is the gift of being a nursery educator.

Every child who walks through the nursery door brings a universe of potential. And every educator who greets them helps shape that universe, through patience, guidance, creativity and love. Nursery educators change lives not by delivering grand speeches or dramatic lessons, but through consistent, gentle and intentional acts of teaching and care.

So, to every nursery educator: know that your work reverberates far beyond the classroom. Know that the stories you read, the songs you sing, the hugs you offer and the encouragement you give will echo throughout a child’s life. Know that your presence, your passion and your belief in each child help shape confident, compassionate, capable human beings.

Being a nursery educator means being a builder of futures, a cultivator of curiosity and a guardian of childhood wonder. It is one of the most impactful roles in education – and perhaps one of the most inspiring roles in the world.

Tots’ Village is a family run nursery for children aged 0-5 based in Caterham. Graded Outstanding by Ofsted we build strong foundations for happy futures! Discover the difference – where love and care comes first and learning is fun. www.totsvillagenursery.co.uk

 

Mar 05
Love0
cuddles

The compassionate parenting revolution- How a new parenting approach is transforming family life

By Childcare and Nannying, family, Special support needs
by Dr Jennifer Swanston
Clinical Psychologist and co-author of the Compassionate Parenting Workbook

Parenting has never been simple, but in today’s fast paced, emotionally demanding world, many parents tell me they feel stretched thin. They worry about losing their temper, about saying the wrong thing, or about whether a difficult moment has somehow damaged their connection with their child. These concerns are far more common than most people realise – read on to find out why compassion focused parenting can be transformational.

What compassion focused parenting really means
Compassion focused parenting is not about being endlessly soft or permissive. It’s an approach that blends evidence based knowledge, warmth, emotional awareness and practical strategies to help families thrive. At its heart, it teaches parents how to stay grounded, connected and confident – even when emotions run high.

This approach rests on some core pillars, each supported by decades of psychological research:
1. Self compassion
Parents often speak to themselves far more harshly than they would ever speak to their children. Learning to notice stress, soften self-criticism, and respond with kindness helps parents stay steady in difficult moments.

2. Emotional regulation
When a child’s behaviour triggers our fight or flight system, it becomes almost impossible to respond thoughtfully. Compassion focused parenting teaches parents how to calm their own nervous system first, so they can guide their child from a place of clarity rather than from being overwhelmed.

3. Creating safety and secure attachment
Children thrive when they feel understood. When parents model calmness and empathy, children learn to trust, communicate openly and regulate their own emotions more effectively.

4. Not ‘one size fits all’
We understand that all children are different and that some approaches work for some children and not for others. Compassionate parenting supports parents to really consider which strategy will be helpful for their own unique child, rather than ‘one size fits all’. This is particularly important when you have a child who is neurodivergent or has additional needs.

Together, these elements reduce power struggles, strengthen communication and support children’s long term emotional wellbeing.

What it looks like in real life
Imagine your child is having a meltdown or becoming upset and frustrated at a party when you are about to leave. Instead of reacting with frustration, compassion focused parenting encourages a five step process:
• Pause and ground yourself – a breath, a moment, a reminder that this is hard but manageable.
• Name and validate – “Leaving is tough, and you’re feeling upset.”
• Soothe before you solve – connection first, instructions later. For example, trying to use a warm tone of voice, even during tricky moments.
• Collaborate – offering a gentle, structured next step once emotions settle. This may be giving some simple choices or playful suggestions which can help break the tension and move forward. For example: “We need to leave. Shall we say goodbye now or would you like me to message when we get home?” or “Do you want to hop like a bunny or stomp like a dinosaur to the door?”.
• Reflection – in the hours and days afterwards, consider whether you may need to approach parties differently in the future or plan with your child how to manage the feelings associated with leaving.

This isn’t about letting children “get away with” anything. It’s about helping them move from panic to calm so they can actually take in what you’re saying.

Why it helps children with big feelings
Compassion focused parenting can be especially helpful for children who experience anxiety or strong emotional reactions, as well as those who are neurodivergent.

• For anxious children, we can encourage them to engage in slow breathing, grounding exercises and gentle reassurance to help settle their nervous system and show them they are safe.
• For children with ADHD: Movement breaks, shorter conversations and playful calming strategies can make it easier for them to stay regulated and connected.

The goal is always the same: helping your child feel understood, valued, and supported.

“Will being kind make my child spoiled?”
This is one of the most common worries parents share. But research shows that harsh or fear based approaches may stop behaviour in the moment, yet they can increase aggression, anxiety and long term emotional difficulties.

Compassionate parenting is not about being soft or giving in. It’s about combining warmth with wisdom – offering empathy while still guiding your child toward healthy boundaries and choices.

What if I feel I’ve already got it wrong?
Every parent has moments they regret. The good news is that relationships can be repaired. Honest conversations, small gestures of connection and consistent warmth help rebuild trust over time.

Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who keep trying.

For more information on how to tailor this approach to your unique child, The Compassionate Parenting Workbook’ provides a simple and friendly structure for you to use.

Dr Jennifer Swanston is a Clinical Psychologist and co-author of the Compassionate Parenting Workbook and also director at White Oaks, Chobham. For further information please visit www.whiteoaks.org.ok

Nov 18
Love0
toilet training

Why toilet training a year earlier is an urgent issue

By baby health, Childcare and Nannying, children's health, Health, special educational needs, Wellbeing

Toilet training children a year earlier could solve a host of issues in the education and health service and improve children’s overall health and wellbeing – so why aren’t policymakers pushing forward measures to support families doing it sooner?

ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity, with support from Kindred Squared and Jodie Gosling MP, recently hosted a Parliamentary roundtable discussion bringing together key stakeholders in early years, education and children’s health and social care, to discuss the huge impact delayed toilet training is having on children’s lives. The discussion centered around the significant opportunities that exist to improve children’s health, social care, education and wellbeing by toilet training earlier.

The charity is pushing for clear guidance around toilet training, greater benchmarking of children’s progress, and standardised training for professionals supporting families in early years (including health visitors and early years practitioners).

Over the last two generations, the average age that children are being toilet trained in the UK has risen from 12-18 months, to an average of around three or even four years today. Later toilet training increases the risk of developing wetting and soiling issues later and also prevents the early identification of bladder and bowel problems.

The impact is profound across education, health and social care:
• A staggering 1 in 4 children start school still not toilet trained.
• 90% of teachers have at least one child in their class who is not fully toilet trained.
• On average 2.4 hours of teacher time is lost every day supporting children who are not school ready to catch up – directly affecting educational outcomes for all children in the class and hampering the Government’s mission to ensure children start school ready to learn.
• Hospital admissions for childhood constipation (which can be exacerbated by delayed toilet training) have increased by 60% over the past decade (over 44,000 children last year).

The charity argues that if children were toilet trained a year earlier, it would improve outcomes for children, save children’s health and education services time and money, and reduce the environmental impact of nappies going to landfill. The potential positive impacts are significant:
• Reduce the social and emotional impact of delayed toilet training on the child: Two thirds of teachers (65%) and 58% of parents agree that not being ready for school when starting Reception could have long term impacts on a child’s success in later life. Ensuring they are toilet trained well in advance of starting school means they’re less likely to feel embarrassed or be ostracized from their peers, which can have a profound effect on their early days in school.
• Better education: If they didn’t have to deal with children who weren’t toilet trained, teachers could save up to 456 hours – that’s around 10 days of extra teaching time they could spend focusing on improving children’s education over the academic year.
• Better health: There is a link between delayed toilet training and childhood constipation. Currently 1 in 3 children suffer from constipation. In a single year, the NHS spent £168 million treating constipation.
By preventing a number of children from suffering from this, it could also save the NHS a significant amount. The cost of treating constipation is equivalent to funding 7304 newly qualified nurses for a year.
• Better for the environment: It’s estimated that the average child uses between 4,000 and 6,000 disposable nappies before they are toilet trained, and the UK disposes of around 3bn disposable nappies annually. If every child was toilet trained one year earlier, we could save between 5.3bn – 7.1bn nappies from going to landfill.
• Cost savings for parents: Parents in the UK can expect to spend approximately £1,000 on disposable nappies per child from birth to toilet training. This translates to about £400 per year for disposable nappies. So by toilet training earlier, they could save themselves up to £400 – that’s equivalent to about two weeks of nursery fees in some parts of the country, or perhaps a UK family holiday.

Siân Wicks, CEO of ERIC, The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity said: “ERIC calls for children to be toilet trained a year earlier. We have reviewed the evidence base, examined the impact on the child and family that delayed toilet training has. It is time to reduce the stigma. It is essential that we raise the profile of this debate. We are calling for clear national guidance, both for families and professionals, particularly for those who support children in early years.There has been clear guidance on issues like breastfeeding and sleep, but not on toilet training; yet, as we’ve seen, this is causing a host of issues that are costing families, society and the government dearly. There needs to be a greater sense of collective responsibility for children’s bowel and bladder health, and all stakeholders across government, children’s health, education and social care need to work together to support families to reach this milestone sooner.”

Felicity Gillespie, Director of Kindred Squared said: “Our research shows that parents are keen for clear, simple and evidence-backed advice. That’s why we’ve worked with the early years sector to produce startingreception.co.uk. The medical evidence is clear; unless there is a diagnosed medical need, children are best served by being out of nappies between 18 and 30 months. We welcome Eric’s efforts to spread this information as widely as possible!”

Jodie Gosling, MP, said: “Too many children are starting school feeling anxious, isolated, or even ashamed – simply because they haven’t been supported to reach a basic developmental milestone: being toilet trained. The removal of Sure Start provision has left families without the necessary infrastructure to learn and thrive. This isn’t just about nappies. It’s about dignity. It’s about confidence. And it’s about giving every child the best possible start in life. We’ve heard today how delayed toilet training is affecting not just individual children, but their families, entire classrooms, our NHS, and our environment. The evidence is clear – and the cost of inaction is too high. This is an issue that requires urgent, coordinated action. We need clear national guidance, better training for early years professionals, and a shared commitment across government to support families in reaching this milestone sooner. Because when we help children thrive from the very beginning, we all benefit.”

Alison Morton, CEO of Institute of Health Visiting, said: “Gaining mastery of your own bladder and bowel function is an important milestone in a child’s development. However, toileting practices and advice have changed over the years, and are heavily impacted by marketing tactics to delay toileting and prolong the use of nappies under the guise of ‘waiting until children are ready’. This has a human, financial and environmental cost. I encourage all professionals to maintain high expectations for the ability of all children, including those with disabilities, to achieve the skills for toileting. Unnecessary delays and low expectations are limiting children’s life chances and can have lifelong consequences. Getting this right is not really a choice, it is fundamental for children’s dignity, safety and quality of life”.

For further information please visit www.eric.org.uk

Nov 18
Love0
Christmas Mum

A nanny’s guide to festive calm

By Childcare and Nannying, Christmas, family
by Isabel Kaye
Norland Nanny

The festive season is often painted as a picture of sparkling lights, joyful laughter and magical moments. Yet for many families, the reality is a little different: overtired children, disrupted routines and parents pulled in ten different directions at once. As a Norland-trained nanny, I’ve spent years supporting families through this wonderful but sometimes overwhelming time of year. With a little planning and a few simple strategies, it’s possible to enjoy a Christmas that feels calm, connected and truly memorable.

1. Hold on to the pillars of routine
Children thrive on predictability and during the holidays it’s easy for regular rhythms to disappear. While flexibility is important, keeping a few daily routines makes a huge difference. Bedtime doesn’t always have to be 7pm sharp, but maintaining the ritual of a bedtime story or bath signals security. At mealtimes, your little ones will benefit from consistency especially for younger children, who struggle when they become too hungry amidst the excitement. A familiar routine helps children feel safe, which in turn keeps festive spirits high.

2. Create calm corners
Festive environments are often filled with noise, bright lights and constant stimulation. While this can feel magical, it can also be overwhelming. I often suggest families set up a cosy ‘calm corner’. Create a small space with a blanket, some cushions and a few books or soft toys. This gives children a retreat when things become too much, a quiet spot to regulate emotions before they feel overwhelmed emotionally. Even five minutes of calm space can help them regulate.

3. Keep expectations realistic
Parents often feel pressure for everything to be picture-perfect – the Instagram-worthy tree, matching pyjamas, smiling children on Christmas morning. The reality rarely looks like the advert. Children may be unsettled by unfamiliar relatives, overstimulated by too many gifts, or simply overtired. Setting realistic expectations is the kindest thing you can do for your family. Focus on connection rather than perfection: one joyful moment shared together is worth far more than a forced photo.

4. Share the load
In many households, one parent ends up carrying the emotional and practical weight of the season. As a nanny, I’ve seen how quickly burnout creeps in. Delegation is key – whether that means involving children in setting the table, asking visiting relatives to help with washing up, or ordering food pre-prepared instead of cooking everything from scratch. Children actually love being part of the process – giving them little jobs not only keeps them engaged but also teaches responsibility.

5. Plan ’empty space’ Into the calendar
It’s tempting to say yes to every festive activity like the markets, the pantomime, the carol concert and the Christmas party. But a jam-packed calendar can tip children (and parents) into exhaustion. I recommend leaving deliberate ‘free space’ days in December. These quieter days give families breathing room to reset, whether that’s a pyjama morning at home, a gentle walk or simply a chance to play without schedule. Rest builds resilience and resilience makes the festivities far more enjoyable.

6. Keep traditions simple and meaningful
Traditions are the heartbeat of Christmas, but they don’t need to be elaborate or expensive. In the families I’ve supported, the most treasured memories are often the simplest: baking biscuits together, wearing matching pyjamas or reading the same festive story year after year. Children value repetition, familiarity and shared time more than grandeur. Choose a handful of meaningful traditions and let go of the rest.

7. Care for yourself
Calm is contagious. Children pick up quickly on the mood of their caregivers, so if parents are running on empty, little ones will feel unsettled. Taking care of yourself is not indulgent, it’s essential. Whether it’s a short walk alone, a bath with a book, or simply saying “no” to one extra event, prioritising your own calm helps the whole household. As I often remind parents: you cannot pour from an empty cup.

8. Finally, remember the magic is in the moments
At its core, the festive season isn’t about perfectly wrapped gifts or a flawless roast dinner. It’s about connection, presence and love. When I work with families at Christmas, my role is often to bring the focus back to what really matters: slowing down, savouring small moments and allowing children to experience the magic without pressure. The memories that last are the giggles during a board game, the flour on the kitchen floor after baking cookies or the Christmas story by fairy light.

Isabel Kaye is a Norland-trained nanny based in Bath. She has over 10 years’ experience supporting families with children from newborns to teens, and specialises in helping parents create calm, joyful environments, whether at home, at weddings or while travelling.

Aug 08
Love0
sleeping baby SIDS

Summer safe sleep tips

By baby health, Childcare and Nannying, Health, Safety, sleep
by Isabel Kaye
Norland Nanny

As temperatures rise in the summer, parents need to take extra steps to keep their babies safe and comfortable during sleep. Overheating is a significant risk factor for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and young babies cannot regulate their body temperature as efficiently as adults. Here, we provide essential tips on ensuring your baby sleeps safely and comfortably in the warmer months, covering everything from room temperature to sleepwear choices.

1. Keep the room at an optimal temperature
Maintaining the right room temperature is one of the most important steps for safe sleep. Experts recommend that a baby’s sleep environment be kept between 68-72°F (20-22°C). This range helps prevent overheating, which is linked to a higher risk of SIDS.

Here are some ways to keep the nursery cool:
• Use fans or air conditioners: To keep the air circulating, a fan or air conditioner can be a helpful addition. Ensure that the fan is not blowing directly on the baby, but is angled to create a general breeze around the room. If using an air conditioner, be careful not to make the room too cold.
• Open windows for natural ventilation: If the weather allows, open a window to let in a cool breeze. However, make sure that the crib is away from any open windows, and that the baby cannot reach blinds or curtains.
• Monitor temperature with a thermometer: Use a room thermometer to ensure that the temperature remains in the safe range, especially at night when it may fluctuate.

2. Dress the baby in lightweight, breathable clothing
The choice of sleepwear is crucial for keeping a baby comfortable. Overdressing or bundling a baby too tightly can lead to overheating, so it’s best to keep clothing light and breathable:
• Choose natural fabrics: Natural, breathable materials like cotton or bamboo are ideal for baby sleepwear. These materials are soft on the skin and allow air to flow, which helps with temperature regulation.
• Avoid over-bundling: In warmer months, a single-layer cotton onesie or a light sleep sack designed for summer may be all a baby needs. Avoid heavy pyjamas or fleece, as these materials can trap heat.
• Consider a sleeveless sleep sack: If your baby uses a sleep sack, consider switching to a sleeveless, lightweight one for summer. This provides some coverage without causing overheating.

3. Skip all blankets and pillows
The American Academy of Paediatrics(AAP) recommends keeping the crib as bare as possible for safety reasons, especially during warmer months. Blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals can not only contribute to overheating but also increase the risk of suffocation and SIDS. Here’s how to make the crib as safe as possible:
• Use a light crib sheet: Choose a fitted crib sheet made from breathable fabric, like cotton. Avoid using heavy or quilted mattress protectors, which can trap heat.
• Avoid loose blankets: Instead of a blanket, use a sleep sack if your baby needs a little extra warmth. This will keep them safely covered without the risk of becoming entangled or covering their face.
• Skip pillows and bumpers: Pillows, crib bumpers and stuffed animals are not recommended, as they pose both suffocation and overheating risks.

4. Always place your baby on their back
Regardless of the season, placing a baby on their back to sleep is one of the most effective ways to reduce the risk of SIDS. This position helps keep the baby’s airway clear and reduces the likelihood of breathing difficulties. To maintain this position:
• Lay baby flat on their back: Always start sleep time with the baby lying flat on their back on a firm mattress. Avoid placing your baby on their stomach or side, as these positions increase the risk of accidental suffocation.
• Use a firm mattress: Make sure the crib mattress is firm and covered only by a fitted sheet. Soft mattresses, bedding, or materials in the crib can create air pockets and raise the risk of overheating.

5. Monitor for signs of overheating
Babies can overheat quickly in warm environments, so it’s essential to watch for signs that they’re too warm. Common signs of overheating include:
• Sweat on the neck or forehead: If you notice dampness on your baby’s neck or forehead, it could be a sign that they’re too warm. Try removing a layer of clothing or adjusting the room temperature.
• Red or flushed cheeks: Red cheeks and damp hair can also indicate overheating. Adjust the baby’s sleep environment by removing excess blankets, using a fan to circulate air or dressing them in lighter sleepwear.

6. When your baby is overheating, there are certain things you should avoid to ensure their safety and comfort
• Do not use ice packs or cold compresses: Applying something very cold to your baby’s skin can cause shock and be too intense for them. Instead, focus on gradually cooling them down by removing layers or moving to a cooler area.
• Avoid cold water baths: A sudden drop in temperature could cause discomfort or even hypothermia. If needed, use lukewarm water for a gentle cooling effect.
• Do not overdress: Adding more layers or heavy blankets can worsen overheating. Stick to lightweight, breathable clothing and minimal layers until they cool down.
• Avoid direct sunlight: Do not keep your baby in direct sunlight, especially during peak hours, as this can quickly lead to overheating. Use shaded areas or protective covers if you’re outside.
• Do not ignore symptoms: Overheating can be serious. If your baby shows persistent symptoms or seems excessively drowsy, lethargic, or difficult to wake, it’s best to consult a healthcare professional immediately.
• Avoid overusing fans or air conditioning: While airflow is helpful, blasting cold air directly at your baby can be too harsh. Instead, ensure that the room is comfortably cool without exposing them to strong drafts.

Taking these precautions can help you cool your baby down safely if they’re too warm.

Isabel Kaye is an experienced nanny sharing daily tips, activities and child development insights on Instagram. Please reach out if you’re looking for parental advice and she’ll be happy to help Instagram name – tiny.team.adventures

 

Jul 10
Love0
child home alone

Home alone

By Childcare and Nannying, houses and property, Legal, Relationships, Safety
by Hayley Garner
NSPCC Local Campaigns Manager

For parents and carers, the summer months can be a tricky time as they try to balance the school holidays with work and childcare commitments. Many might be wondering whether their child is ready to be left unsupervised, or may have concerns about someone else’s child being left alone.

While there is no legal age a child can be left home alone, it is against the law to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk. Every child matures differently, so it would be impossible to have a ‘one size fits all’ law.

As a general rule babies and toddlers should never be left alone. This applies not just to leaving them home alone but also in your car while you run into the shops.

A very young child or one who does not feel comfortable should never be left home alone.

We would also recommend against leaving children under 12 alone, particularly for long periods of time. Children aged six to 12 years are usually too young to walk home from school alone, babysit or cook for themselves without adult supervision. It is worth considering leaving them at a friend’s house, with family or finding suitable childcare.

Once your child is at secondary school you could talk to them about how they would feel if they were left alone at home. Whether they are 12 years old or almost 18, there might be reasons they don’t feel safe in the house alone, and it is vital they feel comfortable and safe being left unsupervised.

If your child feels ready to be left at home alone, there are some simple things you can do to help keep them safe.

Set some grounds rules Make sure they know what to do if the phone or doorbell rings. Write down all your contact numbers and the numbers of friends and family in case you can’t be reached. Agree in advance if friends are allowed over.

Practise what to do in an emergency
Even though it is unlikely it is best to prepare for anything that might go wrong while you are out. Come up with a safety plan for different scenarios, such as a fire or burglary.

Make sure they are really safe online
Consider if there are any games or sites they might have access to while you are out that might upset them or put them in danger. Discuss what they are allowed to do while you are out and remind them not to give out any personal details online. More information on staying safe online can be found on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk

Be clear about when you will be back
Make sure they are clear about what time you will be back and how you will let them know if your plans change.

Check in with them
Give your child a call every so often. If it is the first time they have been left alone, try to check in regularly. Even if your child is older and has been left home alone before, you should still check in once every few hours, particularly if you are out late.

Build up slowly
Leave them for a short time at first, no more than 20 minutes, then build up over time and keep checking in to make sure they are comfortable. Being left home alone for an hour is very different to being alone for a whole afternoon or overnight. We would not recommend leaving your child home alone overnight if they are under 16 years old.

You can find more advice on how to keep your child safe on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk. Children can find support at www.childline.org.uk or by calling 0800 1111 and speaking to a trained Childline counsellor.

Adults with concerns about a child can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000 or by emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk

 

Jul 01
Love0
baby in arms

Choosing care for under twos – What really matters

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Education, Relationships
by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

Choosing childcare is one of the biggest decisions a parent can make. Unlike with preschool-age children, where the benefits of socialisation and learning through play are often more obvious, sending a child under two to a setting can feel more emotional and uncertain.

Yet, with more families needing to balance work and care, the expansion of funding and increased awareness of the importance of early childhood development, high-quality provision for babies and toddlers has never mattered more. But what does ‘high-quality’ look like for the very youngest children, and what should parents be looking for?

A different kind of care
Caring for children under two is a vitally important job. The brain is developing at its most rapid rate and the wiring for emotional security, resilience and lifelong learning is being laid.

While environment and resources can enrich experiences, the most important thing to focus on is relationships. Very young children need warm, responsive, attentive adults who can tune into their needs, often when they cannot be expressed in words.

That is why the key person approach is so important. Each child should have an adult who forms a close, secure bond with them, gets to know their routines, and becomes a safe base for them from where they can explore their environment. Babies and toddlers feel safest when they know someone consistent, who is practically and emotionally available is caring for them.

When visiting a setting, ask:
• Who will be my child’s key person?
• What is your approach to settling in?
• How do you respond to children’s emotional needs throughout the day?

Look for teams who talk with genuine warmth and understanding about the children in their care. A well-organised rota or impressive curriculum means little if relationships are not at the heart of practice.

Nurturing the whole child
At this stage, learning does not look like reading or writing, but like exploration, imitation, repetition and lots of sensory play.

Young children develop through hands-on experience: mouthing, banging, pouring, crawling, climbing, and observing. Their muscles, coordination and cognitive abilities are all growing rapidly, and a good setting will reflect this through both their environment and adult-child interactions.

The best baby rooms are calm but active, warm but stimulating, and above all safe. Look for open-ended materials like baskets of natural objects, age-appropriate books, softplay zones, cause-and-effect toys and spaces for messy or sensory play. Outdoor access is especially valuable for crawlers and toddlers to explore safely in the fresh air.

Flashy equipment or over-stimulating gadgets are not necessary, babies will thrive on real-world experiences, warm conversation, and repetition.
Ask:
• How do you plan for children’s individual interests and development?
• Do babies go outside every day?
• What types of sensory and physical play do you offer?

Feeding, napping and routines
Consistency and routine are comforting to under twos, but they also need flexibility and responsiveness. Babies grow fast, and their needs can change rapidly. A good setting will blend a rhythm to the day with personalised routines.

Whether it is bottle-feeding, baby-led weaning, expressing, or adjusting nap schedules, look for a team that listens and works in partnership with you, individuality must be respected.
Ask:
• How do you manage different routines in the same room?
• Can I bring expressed milk / my child’s comforters / familiar sleep cues?
• How will you keep me updated during the day?

Communication is key
For parents of under twos, especially those leaving a baby in childcare for the first time, regular, meaningful communication is essential. Look for settings that prioritise updates, welcome conversation, and invite you into your child’s day. This might include handovers, learning journals, photos, or daily diaries but should always feel two-way, and not be just a formality.

Trust builds when you feel your child is truly known, and that you’re working as a team with their educators.

Staffing matters
Ratios and training are particularly important for babies or young toddlers. Legally, there must be one adult for every three children under two years, but good settings often go beyond minimum standards, especially during busy times of the day.

Equally important is the experience and stability of the team. Young children need familiar faces and confident, skilled adults who understand child development, attachment, and how to support emotional regulation.

Ask about staff turnover, training, and how the team is supported. High quality for under twos is built on a culture of care and continual reflection.

Making your choice
Choosing care for your baby or toddler is deeply personal. Trust your instincts when you visit a setting: Do the adults get down on the children’s level? Is the environment calm but engaging? Do you feel listened to, not just spoken at?

Opt for a setting where relationships, not routines, are at the heart of everything they do and you know your child will be seen, heard, and known.

Marsha Dann, lead teacher at Play B C Preschool, making every day a learning adventure in Wallington and Carshalton.
www.playbc.co.uk
info@playbc.co.uk

Jul 01
Love0
happy baby in class

The challenges faced by the Early Years sector

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Education
by Becky Chapman
Kiddie Capers Childcare

Over the past few months, the Early Years sector has been at the forefront of the media. A sector, which was already under significant pressure, now faces additional financial and operational challenges.

Early Years education is not only crucial to society, but research shows that children who spend longer in an Early Years provision, have better outcomes later in life. That’s why we fully support the expansion of government funding for children aged nine months plus from September 2025 – we’re one step closer to ensuring that every child in the country has access to high quality, affordable and flexible childcare that meets every individual’s needs.

The support that this expansion in funding brings to working families is fantastic – it’s hard to remember that just a year ago there was limited funding available to families.

But we felt it important to share an insight into life in Early Years, to ensure parents and carers understand some of the challenges we face in the sector daily.

Attending nursery is so much more than just ‘childcare’ – it forms the basis of their early learning journey and is fundamental to their future. Experienced practitioners deliver the Early Years Foundation Stage curriculum (EYFS), which covers birth to five years, ensuring all children in their care are exposed to critical life skills.

Here, we pride ourselves on developing a range of educational activities and outdoor adventures, led by children’s curiosity, to spark their imagination and foster a love of learning and the world around us. Through regular assessments, and parental involvement, we encourage independence and can further identify and support those with additional needs.

It’s no secret that rising costs have impacted everyone across the country, and the Early Years sector is no stranger to this. Rising operational costs, increases to minimum wage and employers’ national insurance contributions, alongside funding that doesn’t cover the true cost of a child’s place at nursery, have led to many businesses, some of whom have been operating for decades, sadly having to close their doors for the last time – often in the areas that need them the most.

Providers are facing tougher constraints from their local authorities in an already heavily regulated world, making it increasingly difficult to deliver high quality education within tight financial restraints. Providers must now balance these restrictions, such as how and when funding can be used, with the known financial impact to ensure their business remains viable. Providers want to remain as flexible as possible to meet the requirements of the families they provide such a valuable support to, but sometimes they are restricted. It’s important to check the fee structures and funding models for each nursery to check how much funding can be used per day based on the hours you require care for, as this will vary from nursery to nursery and will impact your total monthly invoice.

With the increase in funding available, providers are naturally seeing a decline in families who are paying for additional hours of care, leaving sometimes a significant gap in income. This has sadly left providers without a choice but to have to introduce a ‘consumables’ charge to go some way to help cover the costs that a nursery incurs, but government funding does not cover – such as snacks, nappies (where required) and external trips. This also allows nurseries to be able to continue to deliver vital sessions (such as Forest School), which are considered above and beyond the EYFS curriculum and so important to a child’s learning.

Early Years providers are having to adapt by being innovative, streamlining their operations and exploring new funding models whilst working to those strict provider agreements. Providers have had no choice but to pass on some of their increased costs to parents through fee increases, and necessary ‘consumable’ charges to support the delivery of the EYFS, or make a loss and ultimately face closure, something that no provider wants to do. It’s about survival and being able to continue to do what we love, providing a truly valuable Early Years education to the next generation.

Something that not many parents and carers will realise is that funding rates vary across the country. Yes, the government set out overall funding, but the hourly rates nurseries receive per child differs depending on your local authority.

Staffing to meet the needs of families is often another large concern for providers. Practitioners bring patience, creativity and empathy, but despite a recent Department of Education campaign, there is a distinct lack of qualified practitioners in the market and fewer people deciding that a career in Early Years is for them. Renumeration could be one factor, as this often doesn’t reflect the qualifications and skillset required for the role, or it could be the under-appreciated nature of the industry. We believe that happy staff = happy children, and that’s why we invest in our people as much as possible and have developed a sector leading benefits and renumeration package for our colleagues.

But it’s not all doom and gloom, working in Early Years is incredibly rewarding – no two days are the same and who wouldn’t want to work with children who are inquisitive and have such a love for life – we could all learn a lot from them!

We have no doubt that every family out there truly understands the value of a high-quality Early Years education and the integral part it plays in the UK education system – but there is a long way to go to ensure the sector is sustainable for the future.

In a sector which needs reform and significant further investment, we ask just one thing – please be patient and understanding. Everyone is doing their best and always putting the children first.

For anyone wanting to explore their funding options further, we recommend visiting the Childcare Choices website. It provides further information on entitlement, how to claim funding and other support available to parents (such as Tax Free Childcare) visit http://www.childcarechoices.gov.uk/whats-new

With settings located across Sussex, we’d love to hear from you – find out more about us at www.kiddiecaperschildcare.co.uk

 

Mar 19
Love0
child-feel-heard

Five tips to help your child feel heard

By Childcare and Nannying, Early Years, Language, Mental health
by Dr Naveen Puri
Medical Director, Bupa UK

1. Listen actively
It’s easy to overlook your children’s problems, especially when you’re busy or having a tough day. However, it’s important for them to know you’re ready to listen. Make sure to listen to your child without interrupting. Show that you value their thoughts by giving them your full attention, maintain eye contact, nod and respond to show you’re engaged.

This will help build trust and reassure them to share their feelings and challenges with you as they grow up.

2. Create a safe space
Look for chances to talk together. Sometimes, having a face-to-face conversation can be tough, so chatting while on a walk or during a car ride can make it easier as you’re not facing each other.

Remind them regularly that they can talk to you about anything, no matter how difficult, and that you won’t judge or blame them. Your child may not be ready to discuss something right away, so let them know you’re there to listen whenever they feel ready.

3. Look for clues in their play
When children become upset or stressed, they may show their feelings through play rather than words. For example, if your child is play fighting with their toys, don’t be afraid to call it out in a non-judgemental way, by saying things such as “There seems to be a lot of fighting today” or “That looks pretty scary”. This can encourage them to talk about what’s bothering them.

Don’t be discouraged if this doesn’t start a conversation. Having you around may help them feel more comfortable and make it easier for them to share their problems when they feel ready.

4. Use simple language
Talking about different feelings with your child is helpful for their emotional development. By using simple language, you can help them understand and express their emotions better.

Here are a few things to consider:
• Use clear emotion words
Stick to basic words like ’happy’, ‘sad’, ‘cross’ and ‘worried’. This helps your child easily identify and relate to their feelings.
• Label their emotions
When you notice your child expressing an emotion, it can be useful to help label it for them. For example, if they appear to be upset or crying, say, “You look sad”. This shows them that you understand what they are feeling and helps them learn to recognise their emotions.
• Encourage open questions
Ask open-ended questions that prompt your child to share their feelings. Instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” try, “What made you happy today?” This encourages them to think about their emotions and express themselves more fully.
• Share your own feelings
Healthily show your child that you feel emotions too. For example, say, “I felt worried this morning when I couldn’t find my car keys as I didn’t want you to be late for school.” This normalises talking about emotions and reinforces that it’s OK to be open about your feelings.

5. Acknowledge your child’s feelings
Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, it’s essential to validate your child’s emotions and support their development. Here’s how and why this is beneficial:
• Recognising complex emotions
Experiencing a wide range of emotions can be overwhelming for your child. Whether it’s frustration over a difficult homework assignment or sadness after a disagreeing with a friend, try to recognise these feeling and help them understand that it’s OK to feel them. Reassure them by saying things like, “I see that you’re feeling upset about this” to show them that their feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
• Normalising emotions
Letting your child know that it’s normal to have different emotions helps them feel less alone. They may worry that their feelings are unusual or that they shouldn’t feel a certain way. Validate all their emotions by letting them know it’s OK to feel whatever they’re feeling, and that everyone has a range of emotions. This can reduce anxiety about their feelings and encourage them to express themselves more freely.
• Building trust and respect
Acknowledging and respecting your child’s behaviour helps them to learn that you take their feelings seriously. For example, saying something like, “I understand why you’re feeling this way, it makes sense”, reinforces that you value their views and what could be troubling them. This can help strengthen the bond between you both.

It’s also important to take a moment for yourself and reflect on your own feelings. Make time for activities you enjoy, spend quality moments with your child and keep a positive outlook. If things become difficult for you to cope with, remember to stay connected to people you trust. You may find it easier to speak to a health professional if you find it difficult to open up to those close to you.

For further information from Dr Naveen Puri, Bupa Medical Director please visit www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/health-blog/author-profile/m-p/naveen-puri

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