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Mar 03
Love0

Learning for life

By Education, Relationships
by Jon Chesworth
Headteacher, Banstead Prep

It is becoming increasingly clear that schools should be giving significant thought to how we future proof our children. We must reflect on how we deliver their education and go beyond our core curriculum subjects in increasingly innovative and practical ways. Our motivation is simple: the skills our children need are changing and therefore so must we.

However, there is also another fundamental reason – because it makes learning exciting! Broad and varied educational experiences inspire and engage children and enable them to have fun with their learning, and when children are having fun, when they are happy, they flourish! These broad experiences can enhance rather than dilute academic progress children make across all subjects, and this is what education in the 21st century should look like.

All schools will have a set of values or approaches to how they teach such skills for life. At our school we call them our ‘Attitudes for Learning’, but whatever the name, it’s a focus on the ‘soft skills’, which are often ironically the hardest to teach. These skills and attitudes transcend way beyond the classroom and subject knowledge and are truly transferable to all aspects of life. The World Economic Forum’s list of the top 10 skills employers want from a future workforce should serve as a tick list for what schools must be teaching. Critical thinking, problem-solving, innovation, creativity, self-management, resilience and flexibility currently top that list. It seems reasonable therefore to ensure we are developing these skills to prepare children for life, not just the next step in their education.

There is of course a striking similarity between these and the key skills set out in the Early Years Foundation Stage, the very first step of this educational journey. I believe educators have a duty to continue developing these skills, not just in the early years, but throughout the time children spend in formal education and whilst we can develop many of these in any subject, one of the best ways to do it is through the wider curriculum.

There was a recent debate about whether cooking should be part of the National Curriculum. As a truly fundamental life skill it makes sense, but like so many subjects, the barriers limiting schools’ ability to deliver often come down to a lack of facilities and time. Some schools are luckier than others with facilities and we have a cookery room and a STEM centre where we can nurture a broad range of subjects, but dedicating space and time in the curriculum to life skills is half the battle. If we place great significance on these wider aspects of education and the softer skills and we make time for them, it is not a compromise, it adds to the learning experience in every sense.

Teaching of life skills really begins in nursery, as educators support children to navigate their way into their exciting new world of school, particularly focusing on developing children’s independence. As children move through primary school these skills should evolve not just as preparation for life beyond school but also to engage them to understand their strengths, interests and help bring subjects to life! A good life skills curriculum helps target and develop transferable skills for life in a fun and practical way and they learn so much by participating in these activities, developing skills they are some-times not even aware of using.

As an example, the skills and experiences that our life skills curriculum encourages include entrepreneurship, design and research, collaboration and leadership. Activities such as prototype product design – challenging gender stereotypes, exploring marketing and packaging. Money skills, understanding finance concepts by planning a party! Building business skills through the Virgin Money Young Entrepreneur programme, planning, budgeting then cooking a three-course meal in a Ready Steady Cook event. By participating in these our children develop their attitudes for learning, resilience, leadership, adaptability, curiosity, independence, collaboration and communication.

A dedicated life skills curriculum will of course nurture a multitude of valuable traits but many of these skills should and can of course be taught in every subject, all the time. Developing a commitment to curiosity in our school communities should be embraced at every opportunity. By adopting a schoolwide approach to developing these skills for life, we create exciting opportunities for subject collaboration and school wide activities. Venturing away from or collapsing the traditional curriculum can feel overwhelming at times, but the open-ended learning potential of doing projects or activities in innovative ways is well worth it! Ensuring that there are frequent ways to apply problem solving, critical thinking, innovation and the appropriate and discerning use of technology should be the responsibility of every teacher in every subject!

Jon Chesworth is the Headteacher at Banstead Prep School, a coeducational nursery and prep school for girls and boys aged 2 -11 delivering a modern education to prepare children for an exciting future and encouraging them to aim high and dream big. www.bansteadprep.com
Mar 03
Love0
happy schoolgirls

How to get your child to tell you about their day

By family, Mental health, Relationships
by Pre-Prep & Prep School Teachers at Burgess Hill Girls

How was your day darling? Did anything good happen? Who did you play with? What lessons did you have? What did you learn? If you are a parent of a school age child, it is likely you have fired these questions at your child immediately after they get out of school. It is also more than likely that the response was simply; “good,” “yep” or “OK”, or just complete silence as your questions are ignored in favour of the TV, tablet, toys, or a combination of all three!

So, what is the secret? How can you get them to tell you more about their day? Here are some of the strategies we suggest you try.

Give them time
If you think about how you feel after a day of work, you probably want nothing more than to get home and zone out for half an hour or so. Children are the same. You can talk about something else other than their school day or just let them initiate the conversation if they want to. Otherwise give them some space and time to reset and unwind.

Model talking about your day
After some down time, when you think there is a good opportunity for conversation you can initiate discussions by modelling what happened in your day and how you feel about it. They may choose to follow your example and share something about their day. But try not to push it. They may decide to share tomorrow instead.

Vary the focus and frequency
You might be concerned about a particular aspect of your child’s interaction at school. For example, what they are learning or whether they are playing regularly with others. Often this concern will reflect in the questions you ask. To avoid your child clamming up ensure your questions are varied, especially if it is an area that they might not be comfortable talking about. Try to have days when you do not ask any questions at all. Maybe they will choose to volunteer information on their own. If they do, try to keep the conversation going with open versus closed questions.

Give them confidence
You leave the most precious thing you have at the school gate, and it requires you to openly trust those who care for your child. If you over focus on elements of the day or over question, the child might pick up on your apprehension which in turn might lead them to worry that something is wrong at school.

Try the positive sandwich method
The sandwich feedback method offers positive feedback before and after negative feedback. When engaging your child in conversation about their day, ask them to share something positive. Then ask them if anything worried them about their day. Ask them who they shared their worry with. If they did not share at school, model how they might share with their teacher in the morning and reassure them you have every confidence in their teacher to help them resolve their worry. Finally, finish off with another positive. This approach will help your child to feel confident that school is a safe place and that you trust the adults who work in it.

While we are talking about food, you might want to try making them their favourite snack or drink and sit down to enjoy it with them. As they happily munch or slurp, they might feel more in the mood to chat and share.

Focus on them
Remind your child you are interested in what they did at school not what others may have done or not done. This will avoid them becoming hypervigilant of others and help them to recognise their own gifts and talents.

Make links to their timetable
It is possible you know that they have a particular subject or activity on a specific day so you can make the discussion more focused and relevant by linking to that topic and open the conversation from there.

Be tactical with bedtime
In our experience, bedtime is often the time when children want to talk. They are clever little things, anything to delay bedtime! But you can exploit this opportunity by making bedtime a little earlier, so you allow time to chat if the situation arises. If it is an area of worry for them, they are also likely to sleep better once they have got it off their chest so try not to worry if they go a little bit over! But do not forget the positive sandwich method.

Not sharing can be a good thing!
Children will take the lead from your questions and will respond accordingly. If your questions are probing and you focus on the negative, your child might learn this is your area of interest and so will give you more of the same. Some parts of a day may not always go as your child would wish them to, but it is exceedingly rare for a child to have a totally miserable time. Try to bear in mind that happy children often do not share much about their day and that is OK.

To find out more about Burgess Hill Girls, visit www.burgesshillgirls.com
Mar 02
Love0
birthwise

Bringing up baby – who is making you feel guilty?

By Childcare and Nannying, prenancy, Relationships

When it comes to parenthood, I believe we are hard wired like all mammals to fiercely protect, nourish and raise the next generation. Our attention to this biological task makes us particularly susceptible to the perceived wisdom as to how best to do this. Having had a keen interest in baby and childcare and early years education over the last 40 plus years, one thing I have observed is that every childbirth and baby guru of their time is deposed by the new emergent one. Former ‘truths’ on how to best prepare for labour, ensure good feeding/sleep habits/social skills and so on get rubbished as the pendulum swings from left to right. What is the ‘must do’ one decade is ‘avoid at all costs’ the next, with dire warnings of what will befall your impressionable infant in later life if you ignore the latest theory on bringing up baby.

A small example of changing trends is how baby should sleep. In the l950s babies were placed on alternate sides. This was thought to prevent choking, avoid a flat head and to flatten ears. In the l960s-1980s the advice was to place baby on its front to avoid choking, ease tummy aches and strengthen baby’s neck. Concern over cot deaths (more to do probably with smoky rooms, low breastfeeding rates and overheating than position) the advice again changed and from the l990s onward the advice is to place baby on its back with very light cover.

Lets look at the influencers. The first baby and childcare guru was Truby King, a childcare and health reformer from New Zealand. His premise was that a rigid routine of feeding, toilet training, sleeping, exposure to fresh air and limited physical contact led to good health and a robust character in later life. In his 1937 book ‘Feeding and Care of Baby’, Truby King warns “Fond and foolish over-indulgence, mismanagement, and ‘spoiling’ may be as harmful to an infant as callous neglect or intentional cruelty.” Are you appalled? Well, his doctrine spread across the Western world in the first half of the 20th century, and his theories of necessary strict routine, potty training, lots of fresh air, crying being good for the lungs and so on were still popular in the 1950s. The notion he introduced of ‘spoiling baby’ is now refuted, but this would have been the method by which our national treasures were raised (including our late Queen), and your own grandparents! How did they turn out?

So it was with relief that 1960s parents embraced the kindlier advice of Dr Benjamin Spock, an American paediatrician whose book ‘Baby and Child Care’ was one of the best selling books of the 20th century. His first chapter is entitled ‘Trust Yourself – You know more than you think you do’, followed by the reassurance “Don’t take too seriously all that the neighbours say. Don’t be overawed by what the experts say. Don’t be afraid to trust your own common sense“. Great advice, I think, that doesn’t date.

Dr Spock’s theories were followed by Dr Penelope Leach, an English psychologist and baby guru. She started the fashion of baby centred parenting. If you are a young parent or parent-to-be reading this, your own early years are likely to have been heavily influenced by the wisdom of both Dr Spock and Dr Leach. In the last twenty years the ‘Continuum Concept’ theory has been popular leading to many ‘Attachment Focused’ baby and child care publications.

But, guess what? About 15 years ago Gina Ford (neither a mother, nor a paediatrician but a nanny) revisited the concept of establishing strict routines. Her ‘Contented Little Baby Book’ became a best seller and made her the first baby care guru of the 21st century. Along similar lines, Ferber Sleep Training and the ‘Cry it Out’ method is also currently popular with exhausted parents.

And so the pendulum of advice continues to swing back and forth. However, I have never known quite such polarisation of advice competing for validation at the same time. I follow several online support groups for new parents, most following a particular baby care approach. I am concerned that many mums are exhausted to the point of hallucination by feeling they need to observe the doctrine of having their babies and toddlers physically attached to them at all times, and letting baby take the lead on everything, including toddler night feedings. Don’t misunderstand me, if you just love co-sleeping, contact napping, baby wearing or toddler demand feeding, that’s great and you will treasure this special time and confidently bat away those who tell you that you are establishing bad habits or “spoiling” baby. But if baby wearing is not for you, that’s all right too.

It’s also OK to reject the ‘must do’ baby sleep training if it doesn’t gel with your personality or is counter intuitive. Really, experience and observation has convinced me that there’s no one right way of bringing up baby. I suggest you do your own research – ask what is working for your friends and ask what advice worked for your family. Maybe look at your mum’s old copy of Penelope Leach. I’ve had four children spread over 12 years. Each brought their individual personality and sensitivities into the world. What suited one baby certainly didn’t the next, and my baby care needed to adapt to that (although I too was influenced by the latest trend).

Make sure your antenatal course covers the fourth trimester and early parenthood, and that your teacher spends time looking at the different approaches to baby care, so you can consider what feels right for you, your lifestyle and your particular baby. And to quote Dr Spock: “Trust your instincts”.

“I think attending a good antenatal class will prove to be one of your best decisions, with the benefits of ongoing support and friendship.”
Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield.
For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk
Feb 21
Love0

Why do we seek to love and be loved?

By Health, Mental health, Relationships
by John D. Bieber
Author of Am I Loved? The Most Asked Question Of All Time

Aspirations of love and of being loved are the constant waking schemes and sleeping dreams of all humankind. Indeed, acting like a barometer for our mental health, the satisfaction or otherwise of our need to be loved is paramount for our wellbeing. Exploring the undeniable fact that as the world’s only emotional beings, it is truly astonishing that we function through emotions that we do not remotely understand or control. Our emotions exist not to benefit us but to safeguard our genes, protecting the life within us. We spend our lives intent on surviving when fulfilment comes from loving and being loved. Nature’s protections serve to liberate us yet we allow them to inhibit our lives without realising that the majority of our many emotional problems are solvable simply by a proper understanding of the human condition. The most asked question of all time is: Am I Loved?

Why do we breathe and why do we need to eat and drink? That is how we are made. We couldn’t survive in any other way. And that is also the case with love.

As human beings we have two special gifts from nature not given so generously to the rest of creation: our emotions and our capacity to love. They stand at the very core of our survival which makes our subject all the more worthwhile, indeed almost tender because as we consider love we are dealing with fallible, loveable, needy and vulnerable human beings just like you and just like me. We are all irrevocably the same.

Remember that love is nature’s gift to us and it will be no surprise that the pursuit of love is a passion, a game, in which practically every individual will participate , if not on a daily basis, then at least at some stage in their lives. Loving is a huge human need but nature has ordained that being loved is by far the greatest human need of all. We never tire of trying to satisfy it.

Love is the only voluntary emotion we have; that is one we can choose to give or withhold. Love looks out for the dangers we must avoid to survive. Love is another pair of eyes and ears, a source of care, a wise and experienced hand to avoid risk, and love is a source of happiness too, the most necessary gift to humankind. When you are loved you find protection and fulfilment in the emotions of others.

To put it simply, love is our predominant desire and our predominant need. Reducing life to its essential parts, stripping out the hosts of feelings that confront and confuse us every minute of every day, love is the single greatest force that influences and propels the course of all human experience. It is love that truly distinguishes us from other animals; it is love that makes life possible; indeed it is love that makes life liveable and worthwhile.

And what is love? Love is like an elephant: you know it when you see it, even, or especially, when it is gone. But can love be defined? I think it can. In fact it comes down to something very simple, namely, the gauging and supply of another’s needs. That is all it is.

It is a binding that contains us all, the glue that holds us together, the care, the security we crave for, the supply of our personal needs.

We give love and we receive it. But really we trade it. We wish to love but, above all, we wish to be loved and in many instances that single desire will be greater than our personal desire to give love.

Being loved, feeling loved, is the real and actual key to the age-old question: what makes people happy? As Steven Pinker writes in ‘How the Mind Works’, “The study of happiness often sounds like a sermon for traditional values. The numbers show it is not the rich, privileged, robust or good-looking who are happy: it is those who have spouses, friends, religion and challenging work.” In short, all individuals whose relationships endow them with the potential to love and be loved.

Aspirations of love and of being loved are the constant waking schemes and sleeping dreams of all humankind. Indeed, acting like a barometer for our mental health, the satisfaction or otherwise of our need to be loved is paramount for our wellbeing.

We give love to find love. When we feel loved, we feel both protection and fulfilment in the emotions of others. That need, that essential dependence on others when we consider ourselves strong and self-sufficient, exists whether or not we are aware of it, can speak of love, have difficulty in finding it or spend our lives in search of it. All of us need to be loved, even when we persuade ourselves that we don’t or appear to be unlovable.

Being loved, feeling loved, is the greatest prize of our existence. It is the only way we can satisfy our need to be happy and whole and at one with our nature, crucially bringing added security to our genes through the loving concern of others.

And so the sight or sound of another human being becomes the most physically arousing thing that a human being can see or hear. Such is the potential of love, going not just to our heart but to the very heart of our being, the constant need for which provides us with our tenderest feelings, our romantic spirits, our passionate ways and a lifelong spur to go on always propelled by our great need to be loved.

And what of our need to be loved? It’s really just a call for someone to love us.

Am I Loved? The Most Asked Question Of All Time by John D. Bieber published by Umbria Press is available now in hardback and eBook in all good bookshops and online.
www.johndbieber.co.uk
Feb 15
Love0
birth advice

Do I need an antenatal class?

By Education, family, Health, prenancy, Relationships

by Jackie Whitford
www.birth-wise.co.uk

“I’m pregnant with my first baby and all is going well. My sister has just had a baby and has told me all about it and given me the books she found useful. I think I have all the information and support I need.” I’ve heard this sort of viewpoint expressed ever since I started holding antenatal classes (over 40 years ago) but now followed by… “And of course I can get any other information from the internet!” So why indeed would you need an antenatal class?

Firstly, you will meet a group of women and their partners who are at the same stage in their lives and chances are you will meet your new friendship and support group. My own antenatal class pals are still great friends, meeting up regularly some four decades later!

Early parenthood is a time of big changes and transitions (like starting school or leaving home) and it is great to meet others on the same journey sharing all its excitement and uncertainty. My antenatal classes usually form their own WhatsApp groups – it’s good to chat to someone else who is in exactly the same boat when you are doing a feed at three o’clock in the morning!

Secondly, regardless of what worked (or didn’t) for your sister/friend/mum, labour and birth are as individual as you are. What was OK for them, may well not be for you. A good class will set out your choices. It should give you knowledge, skills and confidence as to where you have your baby and the options available to you. Through looking at the latest research and discussing with others, you can choose what feels right for you – whether it’s an elective caesarean or a hypnobirth.

A good antenatal class should also prepare you for Plan B – what if your labour doesn’t go as you had hoped? In a recent class, one of the women had planned and booked in for an elective caesarean. She was attending classes to make local friends and wasn’t really engaged with discussions about physiological labour. However, her baby decided to make an early and rapid entry into the world. She said, “Although I was shocked, it’s not what I had planned, I knew what to do. Somewhere I could hear you saying breathe out, relax, you can do this.” Labour and birth can be unpredictable and you need to be knowledgeable and confident to cope with all possible variations.

Which class?
I would recommend choosing a class that runs once a week over five or more weeks ideally to start from week 30 or 32 of your pregnancy. This gives you a chance to really get to know others in your group and a chance to practice the many comfort techniques introduced plus plenty of time for questions. Ideally your class will be run by someone with a breadth of experience both personally and professionally and be committed to supporting you in the birth experience that you want.

“I think attending a good antenatal class will prove to be one of your best decisions, with the benefits of ongoing support and friendship.”

Jackie Whitford runs Birth Wise classes in Lewes and Henfield. For further details please visit www.birth-wise.co.uk

Feb 15
Love0
kids learning

Why send your child to preschool?

By Education, numeracy skills, reading, Relationships

by Marsha Dann
Lead Teacher, Play B C Preschool

A quality preschool, where there are well-qualified and experienced practitioners who give high priority to interacting with children and observing them closely in order to chart their development, responding to their needs and confirming and extending their learning, will enhance your child’s potential and give them an early advantage.

Supporting early childhood development
The Early Years are a crucial time in your child’s development. Scientists tell us that the brain develops rapidly in the first three years gaining up to 90% of its final mass and although the brain continues to develop into adolescence the best time for shaping brains is in the Early Years.

What your child learns in the Early Years is just as important as what they will learn in later years. Perhaps even more so because a good learning environment now can have a positive impact upon social, educational and behavioural outcomes that will last throughout their school years. Choosing a high quality preschool for your child can make a real difference to their future.

Building relationships
Look for a setting which focuses upon relationships rather than resources. The importance of relationships cannot be overemphasised. Attachment theory suggests that humans are born needing relationships with others. Secure attachments lead to independence and well-developed social skills. Social interaction helps to develop the brain and capacity for learning. A good preschool will value social development as highly as intellectual development. Positive relationships formed with caregivers, help develop a sense of security and provide a safe and secure base from which to explore the world.

The key person system helps children to feel valued and cared about by someone in particular while they are at preschool. It allows them to have someone, as developmental psychologist Bronfenbrenner puts it, who is ‘crazy’ about them. It has been acknowledged that people working in Early Years develop strong feelings for the children they care for and my opinion that is as it should be. Your chosen preschool’s team cannot be the same as family, but should come close.

Play based learning
It is widely agreed, that children learn best through play. Childhood pioneers, such as Froebel and Montessori, identified play as being central to early learning. However, free play does not always move learning on, and a balance needs to be struck between spontaneous and structured play and also between child-initiated and adult-initiated learning experiences. Close observation of your child by practitioners will support development and help in planning developmentally appropriate, yet challenging, learning opportunities.

Narrowing the word gap
‘Reading and writing float on a sea of talk’. Lots of warm loving interactions and ‘serve and turn’ conversations with adults and peers will help to build vocabulary. Daily opportunities for songs, stories and rich structured talk at preschool will have a positive impact upon educational attainment and future life chances.

What does a quality preschool look like?
Educationalists identify two main aspects of quality in Early Years’ provision. The first aspect, which relates to processes, has the greatest impact upon outcomes. It is to do with adult interaction, responsiveness and appropriateness of activities. The second aspect, which relates to structure, has less of a direct impact upon outcomes but is important because it influences the processes identified above. It is to do with ratios and qualifications. Research shows that a well-qualified team is important and children make even more progress where a trained teacher is present.

Research evidence shows that quality preschool provision has a significant and lasting effect on educational, social and behavioural outcomes. Sending your child to preschool will get their education off to the best start.

Teacher-led Play B C in the Wallington and Carshalton area offers fun, yet challenging early education. More than just a place, at Play B C every day is a learning adventure. Contact info@playbc.co.uk to arrange a visit. www.playbc.co.uk

 

 

Feb 14
Love0
happy parenting

Parenting hacks no one tells you

By Childcare and Nannying, family, fun for children, Mental health, Relationships

by Richard Templar
author of ‘The Rules of…’ series.

Being a parent is always going to be tricky at times, and while there’s no magic wand to make it run smoothly all the time, there are strategies that will help make it easier and more enjoyable. I’m not talking about tips and hints for potty training or getting them to sleep, useful as some of those can be. I’m talking about mindsets that will help frame your attitude to the whole parenting thing, in ways that make your life – and the kids’ lives – easier.

Do not be afraid of a bit of boredom
There can be pressure nowadays to run your kids around to countless after-school and weekend activities – football, swimming, drama, martial arts, dance, music classes and sessions. It keeps them busy, and boy does it keep you busy. However, the best thing for kids to do with their free time is nothing at all. That’s because it frees up their imagination and encourages real creativity. It’s actually better for the kids to run around together with sticks making up games, or look under stones in the park for insects, than to be organised by someone else. Being bored is the best stimulus the imagination can have, and most kids – especially if you can get them together with siblings or other kids – won’t stay bored for long. Our kids are going to grow up into a world where creativity and imagination are hugely valued, yet they risk having had less chance to cultivate it than previous generations. So give them a head start by incorporating loads of empty time into their week. That’s not to say all extra-curricular activities are a bad thing – they can be great – but while your kids are young a couple of sessions a week is plenty, and it’s healthier for them to fill the rest of their time themselves, while you settle down with a cuppa.

Sibling squabbling is healthy
I mentioned siblings back there, and if you have more than one child you’ll probably have experienced your share of sibling squabbles. So know this: squabbling is really healthy. It’s better than not squabbling. Yes I know it doesn’t always feel that way, and sometimes less is more, but next time you hear the kids bickering or fighting, smile and tell yourself it’s a good thing. Why? Because until you squabble, you can’t learn how to resolve an argument. Your kids are learning how far they can push someone, what helps get the other person on their side, how to control their anger, what works and what doesn’t – and all with someone who can’t just walk off and say “I’m not your friend any more.” Most of the world’s best diplomats grew up with siblings. So appreciate the squabbles despite everything and, above all, don’t impose solutions on them – make them find their own. You know the sort of thing: “I’m taking it away until you both/all come and tell me how you’re going to play with it without arguing.”

Lead by example
A good friend once asked me, “How do I get my kids to understand do what I say, not what I do?” The answer is very simple: you can’t. You have to set the example and if you can’t do it, why would you expect a child to be able to? Especially when the person they most love and respect isn’t doing it. So, if your child forgets their pleases and thank yous, or is always interrupting, or shouts at you a lot, it’s worth checking your own behaviour. I’m not saying it’s always down to you – lots of kids go through these phases without any help – but if your record isn’t a hundred percent, you’ll improve their behaviour much faster if you can change your own. And it’s surprising how many parents give their kids instructions without a please, or forget to say thank you to them. It’s understandable in the hustle and bustle of parenting, but you’re making your own job harder than it needs to be.

Healthy parenting – not perfect parentingrules of everything
And finally, always remember that you shouldn’t even try to be perfect. Can you imagine what a burden it would put on kids to have perfect parents? Parents who were always right, who gave you nothing to kick against? Who couldn’t model how to apologise for mistakes because they never made them – or how to make up after an argument because they never argued? A perfect parent gives their child no clue how to be human, how to be flawed and imperfect but accept themselves as they are. If you can be a bit forgetful, or short-tempered, or neurotic, brilliant! That’s just what your kids need to see – that normal healthy adults can function perfectly well, and have great relationships, without having to be entirely prefect in every way. So next time you think you’ve messed up, don’t berate yourself. Just think, “Phew! I’ve dodged being perfect!”

Richard Templar is the author of the global best-selling ‘The Rules of…’ series. The Rules of Everything is published by Pearson, priced at £12.99, and is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

Nov 20
Love0
family finance early

Five things to tell your child about the cost of living

By family, Finance, numeracy skills, Relationships

by Brean Horne, a personal finance expert at NerdWallet

As the rising cost of living continues to stretch budgets with little signs of slowing down, it can be an extremely worrying time for many people. This is especially true for families and can create questions that are difficult for parents to answer. Parents should be setting time aside to engage in conversations with their children about the cost of living crisis in order to lessen their concerns. Below, Brean discusses how parents can tackle the topic of money when talking to children, and stay realistic about any financial sacrifices that may be needed.

Strike the balance
Honesty is always the best policy, and while ensuring your child is aware of the realities of the rising cost of living is important, it is also crucial to avoid unnecessary panic or worry, and strike the right balance between explaining the seriousness of the situation with not alarming them.

At the moment, while it is not necessary for a child to be too concerned about the intricate details of budgeting and saving, it’s a good idea to make your child aware of the increase in the cost of heating, petrol, groceries, and other essential items.

Be clear with children if the current climate means you have to cut back on some of their favourite brands at the supermarket, or if you need to take them to more budget-friendly clothing stores to pick out new items. Reassure – but don’t promise – them this should
only be temporary and help them to understand how important it is to appreciate all that they do still have, rather than what they don’t.

Be realistic
In the lead-up to the Christmas period, many children may start sharing ideas with their parents of the gifts they want to see sitting under their tree come 25th December. However, this year many may struggle to create a similar festive experience for their own families whilst dealing with ongoing financial pressures.

In order to still create a fun and memorable Christmas for your children, it’s wise to prepare them sooner rather than later that certain sacrifices need to be made if they want certain Christmas presents or experiences, such as swapping pricey weekend activities like cinema trips for a day exploring local walks or visiting a local free-entry museum. Not only will this hopefully help children to realise that parents don’t have access to unlimited wealth to treat them with, it should also emphasise the magic of Christmas and how lucky they are to have a family willing to cut back so they don’t go without.

Be wary of shock value
More often than not, children will consume a lot of information from their peers or from unsourced articles shared to social media platforms written to shock and generate headlines. Both of these are notorious for exaggerating or expanding on the facts of a story or subject, and should not be the way a child is gaining knowledge of the current crisis.

Depending on their age, sit your child down for a frank and honest conversation on the issues that are most concerning to them, and try your best to reduce any panic or worry that they have heard through others or online. Point them in the direction of child-friendly websites that can outline the most pressing issues in easy to digest language, and reassure them that you are always available to answer or tackle any questions or concerns they have.

Teach them about budgeting
Parents can use the cost of living crisis as an opportunity to educate children on the importance of budgeting and saving for a rainy day. Highlighting different issues surrounding inflation, energy bills, how interest rates affect things like mortgage repayments and credit card loans, and even how inflation works, will give them a better perspective on the crisis and is something that they are unlikely to be exposed to within school settings.

For older children, this is also an opportunity to help guide them to set up their own financial accounts, such as a children’s bank card or a prepaid card. This will help them learn how to budget, manage their finances, and understand the satisfaction associated with saving up to purchase something for themselves.

While some children are simply given pocket money or a weekly/monthly allowance, now is a great opportunity to give children age-appropriate chores in order to earn some money themselves.

Involve children in making cost-effective savings around the house
Budgeting doesn’t have to be boring, and there are a multitude of useful and fun ways you can involve children with budgeting tasks around the house.

Set children a task to plan budget-friendly meals with a certain amount of money or ingredients you have in the fridge and cupboards as a Master Chef style challenge, or get them involved in cooking/baking large batches to freeze for a later date – a great way to save money and reduce food waste.

In order to help them understand the energy crisis a little more, it’s also worth setting them the task of ensuring no electronic devices or switches are left on unnecessarily around the house – which can of course be incentivised with rewards.

Article supplied by NerdWallet www.nerdwallet.com/uk/current-accounts/

Nov 08
Love0
SEN learning

What should you do if you think your child may have Special Educational Needs?

By Education, Mental health, numeracy skills, reading, Relationships, special educational needs

by Chloe Chapman
SEND Consultancy Services

The term ‘Special Educational Needs’ describes learning difficulties or disabilities that make it more difficult for children to learn than most other children of the same age.

What is the first step I should take if I think my child has Special Educational Needs?
It can be a worrying time if you are concerned that your child is not developing in the same way as other children or doing as well as they could be in nursery, school or college. Each educational setting will have a SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) responsible for providing additional support for children with additional needs. If you have concerns, you should arrange a meeting with the SENCO and other key staff who work with your child frequently (for example, the class teacher or form tutor), to discuss where you feel your child is struggling and what support is already in place to help your child.

The school (and you) may feel that your child needs more support, and this should be reflected within a SEN Support Plan.

The SEN Support Plan should include clear outcomes that it is expected your child will meet, and the support they will need for that to happen. For example, if your child is struggling with writing, support may include an intervention or support group that your child will attend, and during writing activities a staff member will support them. The SEN Support Plan should be reviewed regularly to ensure that your child is making good progress and the support is working well.

What is the next step if a SEN Support Plan is not working?
If your child has a SEN Support Plan, but they are still not making as much progress as would be expected, they may need an Educational, Health and Care (EHC) Plan. A parent/guardian, educational setting or a professional working with your child can apply for an EHC Plan, using the link available on the Local Offer for your Local Authority.

You do not have to use the forms provided by the Local Authority, but they will guide you as to what information to include. It is important to include as much evidence as possible – this can be information from the educational setting such as; a copy of the SEN Support Plan, results from standardised tests and examples of your child’s work. If your child has received additional care from Health Professionals such as your GP, a Paediatrician or Consultant, then include any corresponding paperwork. You can include reports from other professionals who may have worked with your child, such as: Educational Psychologist, Occupational Therapist, Speech and Language Therapist, Behavioural Support Worker or a Physiotherapist. Where possible, evidence should be dated from the last two years so it is still relevant to your child. For your child to receive the help they need it is important for reports to reflect how they might be on their worst day; this can make for difficult and emotional reading. Please remember that this is a means to an end and with the correct support in place the good days should far outweigh the more challenging days.

Once this information has been submitted to the Local Authority, they will make a decision about whether your child will undertake an EHC Needs Assessment. This is a 20 week assessment process, where the Local Authority gathers further information on your child to make a decision about what level of support is required. At the end of this process your child may receive an EHC Plan, or they may remain on a SEN Support Plan.

How to find information about services available through my Local Authority?
Local Authorities have an obligation to publish information relating to services and support for children on the Local Offer. The Local Offer will include information about how to apply for an EHC Plan, who to contact for help and what the process will look like for your area. If you are thinking about applying for an EHC Plan it can be useful to discuss this first with your local SEN Team, a local support group or an independent SEN consultant.

Aside from an EHC Plan, what else should my Local Authority be offering? –
The Local Offer should explain what schools are expected to provide as part of a universal offer for every child. Teachers should be regularly assessing children to identify which children may need additional help. In any one class, the teaching staff (with guidance from the SENCO), could be running a number of catch up or intervention groups for children with skills or knowledge gaps. The expectation is that if a teacher identifies a gap or delay, that the school should look to their own existing groups and resources to support a child in the first instance. As a parent, regular communication with school staff is key to making sure that you are both on the same page and your child is getting access to the support they need.

If you would like more advice about your child and their individual circumstances, then please do get in touch. SEND Consultancy Services can talk through possible next steps, attend meetings, read over reports, SEN Support Plans or EHC Plans and be an advocate for you and your child.

www.sendconsultancyservices.co.uk – chloe@sendconsultancyservices.co.uk – www.surreylocaloffer.org.uk

Nov 06
Love0
mixed class

Choosing with my child: coeducation or single sex schooling

By Education, fun for children, Relationships

by Mrs Sarah Bakhtiari
Principal of Shoreham College

I have had the absolute pleasure of spending my career in fantastic, and very different, schools. From girls only to coeducational, from local to international and from secondary to sixth form to all through provision. I also consider myself blessed to have three daughters, all of whom are on the other side of compulsory education.

One moment it feels as though my daughters were hanging onto me for dear life and in the next breath it’s me hanging on to them, rather futilely, as they navigate university, graduate schemes and rights of passage such as festivals and holidays with friends. ‘Time flies’ is a well-worn cliché, but true nonetheless, and I suspect every parent of an adult feels the fleeting nature of their childhood. Anyhow, I digress to underline that this is a question I have experienced at home, as a parent, and at school as an educator.

Some of the things I worried about for my daughters: Would they be overshadowed by boys? Would they feel intimidated? Would they be confident to speak their mind? Would they be distracted?

I chose coeducational settings for my daughters because all of the above questions I asked so earnestly when they were three, and we were thinking about starting school, were just as relevant at senior transition and predictably as true now in adulthood. The difference now is that in life there is little or no option to choose a single sex environment and so rewinding to the start of school for them, I wanted them to be ready to understand what it feels to live, work and thrive in a coeducational environment. The careers that two of my daughters have subsequently chosen are traditionally male dominated ones and the fact that they earned their stripes in the classroom, alongside boys, means that they are well placed to prosper in these environments. They step forward, they know the value of their ideas and they allow no one, regardless of gender, to speak over them. It’s not easy but it is a skill carefully practised and honed and it is one which is being practised and honed in classrooms up and down the country.

The Smithers report (which is perhaps the most comprehensive piece of research conducted on the benefits and drawbacks of coeducation and single sex education) found that schools were successful, or otherwise, for reasons other than the gender of their pupils. The report explains that outcomes are most significantly affected by excellent teaching, good school management and a positive peer group culture. These things have all been evidenced to have a significant impact on pupil achievement. Whether classes are coeducational or single sex, was not found to have a bearing. I recognise this from my experience of leading schools and raising daughters.

Single sex schools might cite league tables as evidence for their model. The Smithers report cites selectivity of intake together with excellent teaching as having the most impact on league table performance. I hope that the days of gender stereotyping, where females need ‘this’ and males need ‘that’ are long gone from schools and from society. My challenge to anyone wishing to perpetuate gender stereotyping is that excellent teachers personalise the learning in their classrooms for the needs of the individual pupils within that classroom.

‘Everyone’s invited’ has sharpened society’s focus on the way in which we treat one another and the way that we educate our young people. The answer surely has to be genders working together, side by side, with a positive and creative culture, excellent teaching and a plethora of opportunities.

Please call 01273 592681 to find out more about what Shoreham College can offer you, or to arrange a personal visit at any time of the school year. www.shorehamcollege.co.uk

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