Skip to main content
search
Category

Relationships

Jul 01
Love0
`Xtraordinary people

The seven dyslexic archetypes How to spot, support and empower your dyslexic child

By Education, numeracy skills, reading, Relationships
by Kate Griggs
Made By Dyslexia

How can you tell a child is Made By Dyslexia? As many as 1 in 5 children are dyslexic but research suggests that 80% of dyslexic children leave school without being spotted. This proves that in order for parents and teachers alike to spot, support and empower dyslexic children, there needs to be more awareness about what the signs of ‘Dyslexic Thinking’ are.

Dyslexic brains are wired slightly differently, which means they have a different way of processing information. This difference results in a pattern of challenges, but extraordinary strengths too.

Children with dyslexia have trouble learning to read, write and spell as well as remembering lots of facts and figures or concentrating and following instructions. Tests are particularly tricky for dyslexic children as they are a combination of all these things and can make them feel embarrassed or even stupid, which they are not! This can make school particularly frustrating for dyslexic children. But if spotted early, and given the right support, they can and will do well.

How to spot your child’s dyslexic superpower
• Think about what your child loves to do and would do for hours, if left to their own devices. These are usually their ‘Dyslexic Thinking’ skills.
• Find out what they are passionate about, what they love to talk about, watch or learn about.
• Encourage them to do both of the above, lots and lots. Skill + practice + passion = superpower.
• Easy-to-spot strengths include sport, art, music and dancing. But empathy, kindness, imagining, listening and questioning are all incredibly valuable superpowers too.
• Acknowledge their expertise. Dyslexics often don’t realise how good they are at these things, so may not recognise them as their superpowers.

To identify ‘Dyslexic Thinking’ skills in children, we conducted one of the largest research projects of its kind. Our extensive research with dyslexic people, teachers, psychologists and parents, helped us to gather a unique insight into dyslexic strengths and thinking skills in children. These are the things that dyslexic children are naturally good at, and love to do. Because they love to do them so much, they practise them a lot and become extraordinarily good at them and these things become their ‘superpowers’.

From this research, we developed seven dyslexic archetypes:
1. Storytellers
2. Makers
3. Entertainers
4. Movers
5. Imaginers
6. Questioners
7. ‘People’ people

Dyslexic children have a natural ability in some or all of these seven archetypes. While all children will show ability and interest in these areas, dyslexics tend to immerse themselves and become very good, often ‘expert’ at them. You can develop resilient confident learners by nurturing these natural abilities, which can develop into valuable skills in work and life.

Here are some of the signs for each dyslexic archetype in children:
• Storytellers:
Persuasive. Tell tall tales. Elaborate explainers. Invent stories. Love stories and films. When they grow up, Storytellers often become journalists, teachers, writers, filmmakers, politicians or campaigners.

• Makers:
Jigsaws. Puzzles. Lego. Building things. Making things. Cooking. Crafts. Art and painting. When they grow up, Makers often become architects, craftspeople, chefs, designers, gardeners, artists or programmers.

• Entertainers:
Music and rhythm. Singing. Dancing. Jokers. Expressive arts. Like putting on a show. When they grow up, Entertainers often become actors, musicians, comedians, salespeople, PR people or presenters.

• Movers:
Fidgets ‘on the go’. Physical risk takers. Sports/ball skills. Balance. Climbing. Skateboarding. Gymnastics. When they grow up, Movers often become musicians, sportspeople, dancers, sports coaches, choreographers or firefighters.

• Imaginers:
Daydreaming. Making up games and fantasy/imaginary worlds. Create dens and ‘worlds’ out of things. Get lost in their imagination, immersed in activities. When they grow up, Imaginers often become scientists, inventors, entrepreneurs, artists, actors, photographers or filmmakers.

• Questioners:
Constantly ask ‘what if?’ and ‘why not?, Challenge norms and rules. Have an answer for everything. Always curious. Problem-solvers. Explain things to everyone. When they grow up, Questioners often become detectives, spies, entrepreneurs, journalists, writers or real change-makers.

• ‘People’ people:

Peacemakers. Social organisers. Busybodies. Helpers. Charmers. Carers. Leaders. When they grow up, ‘People’ people often become nurses, doctors, teachers, care workers, managers or presenters.

So, by far the most important thing we can do for any dyslexic child is to identify their strengths and place as much importance on them
as we do on their challenges. With help, our children will learn to do all they need to do well enough, but it’s their dyslexic strengths that will help them to excel in life.

Early identification and the right support is vital for dyslexic children, so that’s why Made By Dyslexia has created our free online dyslexia awareness training films, so parents and teachers around the world can gain the knowledge they need to begin to support their children.

Kate Griggs is the founder and CEO of global charity Made By Dyslexia and author of dyslexia guide This is Dyslexia (Penguin, £11.99) and children’s book Xtraordinary People: Made By Dyslexia (Penguin, £6.99).

 

This is dyslexia

Jul 01
Love0

How to introduce your second baby to your firstborn

By Education, family, prenancy, Relationships

Introducing a new baby into the family can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking time for parents. In this article, experts at UK-leading baby brand, Nuby, have looked at some of the best ways to prepare your little one for the impending arrival and help them to stay feeling loved and included.

Explain what’s going to happen
This can simply be dependent on how old your first child is. If they’re under the age of two, they may not be that interested and take the new addition to the family in their stride. However, a slightly older child might be bursting with questions or struggle emotionally with the transition.

To alleviate some of this, it helps during this time to help them know what to expect – that the new baby is going to be with mummy or daddy most of the time, and the baby is either going to be sleeping, crying, or feeding. This will also help manage their expectations – that their new sibling won’t be able to sit up by themselves, let alone be a playmate from the moment they enter the home.

The more prepared your eldest feels at this point, the easier it will be for them to make the transition from an only child into an older sibling.

Tell the story of when they were born
One other tip is to show your eldest some old photographs of your or your partner’s pregnancy before they were born, or of them when they were a baby. Talk to them about what it was like when they were younger and how they too cried and fed all hours of the day.

This will not only give you all a few laughs but also help to ease some of their worries and better understand why the new baby needs more attention for the first few months.

Roleplay looking after the baby
Using a doll is a great way to introduce your firstborn to the idea of having a baby around.

They can use this time to practise how to hold the baby, how to talk to them, and how to be gentle with them. Overall, this helps to normalise the idea that there’s soon going to be a new arrival.

Better still, if you’ve got friends or family with small babies of their own, try to set up meetups or playdates so your child can get used to hearing baby cries and babbling.

Get them involved in the planning
Include your child in the naming process. Ask them what they think of the names you’ve got picked out, for example. Chances are they won’t like your choices and would much prefer you to name their sibling Spider Man or Peppa, but the key thing is to value their opinions.

Take them on shopping trips while you’re gathering up your newborn essentials to make the situation feel more real. They’ll feel even more important if you let them pick an outfit for their younger sibling.

If they’re not good with shopping, let them contribute in other ways, such as putting new items away, helping pack the baby changing bag, or even helping you to redecorate the nursery.

Get them involved in the caring
It’s tempting for any parent to be extra cautious when managing a toddler or young child around a baby. However, allowing your firstborn to have some involvement in looking after the baby is key in making them feel included rather than pushed out.

Singing to the baby, helping bathe them, or passing the wipes or a clean nappy are all easy little tasks that can help the new older sibling feel like they have an important role in the family.

Let them meet their new sibling as soon as possible. A hospital can be a big scary place for your eldest, but the more included they feel at this stage, the more they will continue to do so down the line.

One thing to avoid is punishing your first child or telling them to go away if they make a mistake. Just be patient, calmly explain what they should do instead, and let them have another go.

Make them the focus
Family and friends will be enamoured with the new baby, but it can make your eldest feel much more secure and loved if you heap attention on them as well. Being full of praise, especially when they’re around the baby, will really help boost their confidence and self-esteem.

A ‘gift’ from the new baby to their older sibling is also a wonderful way to instil good feelings from the get-go. It also shows how much the newborn loves their older sibling already and can’t wait to meet them.

The stress of the change can cause older siblings to act out or behave badly in order to get attention from you. They may also start to regress and act younger than their age, for example, when it comes to feeding or changing. As they get used to being around a newborn, being patient and praising them for their good behaviour might help reduce this.

When introducing a second child, one of parents’ biggest fears is that their eldest child will feel left out. At some point, they may also feel guilty for not spending as much time with their firstborn. Unfortunately, this is almost certainly going to happen but you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Focus on the quality of time you spend with your eldest rather than the quantity.

This is a huge change for the whole family, and it’s going to take some time for everyone to get used to the new dynamics. Being patient and following the tips above can help your firstborn feel more involved before and after the little one arrives.

Mar 12
Love0

Talk PANTS and stay safe

By children's health, Education, Relationships, Safety

From an early age we talk to children about how to stay safe. We teach them how to cross the road safely and not to run with scissors. But some subjects can be trickier to discuss than others. For example – sexual abuse. Where on earth do you start?

Talking about sexual abuse with children can feel like a daunting prospect. It’s something you hope you never have to discuss and you might feel that if you do; you’ll scare them or take away their innocence.

But the truth is abuse happens and we need to talk about it to keep children safe. During the year 2019/20, police forces across the UK recorded more than 73,500 child sex offences – an increase of 57% over five years. By talking about it from an early age, potentially before it even takes place, we can help children speak up if something happens that worries them.

But talking about abuse doesn’t need to be a scary thing and we can show you how. You can start by teaching them the NSPCC’s Underwear Rule, or PANTS. Since the NSPCC launched its PANTS campaign in 2013, it has sparked over 1.5 million conversations between adults and their children to help keep them safe from abuse.

PANTS stands for:
Privates are private
Your underwear covers up your private parts and no one should ask to see or touch them. Sometimes a doctor, nurse or family members might have to. But they should always explain why and ask you if it’s OK first.

Always remember your body belongs to you
Your body belongs to you. No one should ever make you do things that make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone asks to see or tries to touch you underneath your underwear say ‘NO’ – and tell someone you trust and like to speak to.

No means no
No means no, and you always have the right to say ‘no’ – even to a family member or someone you love. You’re in control of your body and the most important thing is how YOU feel. If you want to say ‘No’, it’s your choice.

Talk about secrets that upset you
There are good and bad secrets. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. You should tell an adult you trust about a bad secret straight away.

Speak up, someone can help
Talk about stuff that makes you worried or upset. If you ever feel sad, anxious or frightened you should talk to an adult you trust. This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend’s parent – or even Childline.

Next, you’ll need to pick the right time to start talking about it. The right time is… anytime! It’s important to make it part of everyday conversations you might have with your child so that it doesn’t feel forced or as though it’s a big deal. Some examples are:
• During bath time, when applying cream or when getting your child dressed.
• During car journeys – it’s a neutral space and it might be easier to get their undivided attention.
• Going swimming is the perfect time to explain that what’s covered by swimwear is private.
• During a TV show that features a sensitive storyline – you could ask them what they would do in that situation and encourage them to think about adults they trust and could speak to about a problem.

There’s even a video for you to sing along to with your child, to help them learn the Underwear Rule. The yellow, cuddly, pant-wearing dinosaur mascot, Pantosaurus, sings and dances his way through these important safeguarding messages but it’s fun and incredibly catchy.

Singing not really your thing? Don’t worry – you can always read the PANTS book together. Pantosaurus and the Power of Pants follows the story of Pantosaurus as he receives a new pair of pants. Dinodad tells him that they will give him special powers. Pantosaurus then experiences a problem at school and just as Dinodad told him, his super pants give him the power to speak up.

There are lots of other sources of support available on the NSPCC website – www.nspcc.org.uk/pants. You can sign up for regular emails with tips and advice, download free PANTS guides in 16 different languages and sing along to the Pantosaurs video.

There are also PANTS activity packs, and Pantosaurus and the Power of Pants is available to buy in the NSPCC online shop – shop.nspcc.org.uk

For further advice and support, the NSPCC’s Helpline is available Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends. Trained professionals can offer tips and advice and can help you if you have concerns about a child. You can call them free and in confidence on 0808 800 5000 or visit www.nspcc.org.uk/helpline

Mar 10
Love0

Three tips for boosting men’s mental health

By Mental health, Relationships
Boys don’t cry. Man up. Be a man. Phrases like these stop men talking about mental health issues. They’re part of the reason why one in eight men has a common mental health problem in England. It’s why three times as many men die by suicide in the UK compared to women, and why men are overwhelmingly less likely to receive psychological therapy.

To save men’s lives, something has to change. But the actions many men take in response to mental health issues – brushing it off, bottling it up – simply aren’t working. Instead, men need to see that opening up isn’t a sign of weakness, but the path to a happier and more balanced life.

Here, The Massage Company is giving its top tips on what men can do to help alleviate their mental health issues.

Get talking
Whether it’s with friends and family, or with an independent therapist, the first step to solving any problem is talking about it.

There are many different types of therapy available. Would you like someone who can help you think about unhelpful patterns of behaviour? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy might be the right solution. Need help overcoming a specific challenge such as addiction? Counselling could be a great way to find out how others have had the same challenge before, and the steps they have taken to overcome it.

The majority of humans love giving advice, but how often do you listen to your own? The next time you are struggling with a mental health issue, ask yourself: what would I say to myself in this situation? And remember to lend an ear to other men when they are in need – after all, the more we listen to others, the closer we get to cracking the stigma about men opening up.

If you aren’t ready to speak out, even just keeping a diary can help you recognise negative symptoms or thoughts, helping you understand whatever might trigger anxiety or other mental health issues.

Get moving
Exercise has vast physical benefits, including boosting your energy, helping you sleep better and reducing the risk of diabetes. But it also reduces anxiety and depression and improves your mood by releasing endorphins – the so-called ‘feel-good hormones’.

By exercise, we don’t mean cranking out reps until you look like Jean Claude Van Damme. Just a brief 30 minute session of moderate exercise a day can be enough to help reduce depression and anxiety. In fact, studies show that there is a 20% to 30% lower risk of depression and dementia for adults participating in daily physical activity.

Beyond exercise, finding a new hobby can be key to alleviating mental health issues. Maybe it’s cooking. Maybe it’s gardening. Maybe it’s whacking a ball into the sun at the driving range. Whatever it is, find something to do that transports you somewhere else for a while.

Get relaxing
Did you know that massage is a fantastic aid to mental health? That’s because, as well as improving circulation and blood flow, massage releases endorphins (just like exercise) that improve your mood and contribute to reducing depression.

Massage has been growing in popularity – in fact, at The Massage Company, around 38%-40% of the client base is men. And in a recent survey to the customer base, 31% of people ticked one of their main reasons for going for a massage as mental health.

The crux of the issue is this – you can’t afford to put your own needs at the bottom of your priority list. If you want to improve your mental health, you need to commit time and effort to the goal. It’s not unmanly, it’s not weak and it’s not vulnerable – it’s putting yourself back on the path to a happy state of mind.

Since its inception in 2016, The Massage Company has continued to challenge common pre-conceptions of massage and the stereotype of the industry. Their vision is simple: to bring high-quality massage to the wellbeing mainstream. They want people to see massage as accessible to everyone and good value for money, so it can become a vital and routine part of a better and balanced quality of life.
www.massagecompany.co.uk

Mar 05
Love0

New year, new beginnings – changes to the divorce process in 2022

By family, Legal, Relationships
by Julian Hunt
Head of the Family department Dean Wilson LLP Solicitors

The government’s Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 was passed in June 2020 and aims to implement major reform to the divorce process, becoming law on 6 April of this year.

Julian Hunt, Head of the Family department and member of Resolution, has been an active campaigner in the move toward no-fault divorce and has lobbied local MP’s in favour of the same.

What is the legislation’s main reform?
The Act will remove the concept of ‘fault’ in divorce proceedings – a welcome change to the divorce legislation that has not been amended in any significant way for over 50 years.

What is the current regime?
If a couple want to divorce, they have limited options to choose to present their petition on. Set out as five ‘facts’, these are: adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, two years’ separation with consent, or five years’ separation without consent.

If a couple wish to divorce quickly those options are limited to the grounds of adultery and unreasonable behaviour, with the less contentious divorce routes only achievable after two or five years separation.

The prospect of a long and unnecessary wait often means that parties will choose the blame route with the unwanted result of intensifying conflict and causing long lasting damage, particularly impacting future co-parenting.

Why doesn’t the current regime work?
The current regime fosters animosity between parties by encouraging the assignment of blame, which can lead to delays in obtaining the end goal of a divorce and can have a knock on effect if the parties have children related matters to resolve at the same time.

The need for a no fault divorce process was highlighted in the recent case of Owens v Owens.

Mrs Owens issued her petition based on Mr Owens unreasonable behaviour in which she stated she could not reasonably be expected to live with Mr Owens anymore. Mr Owens defended the petition on the basis that his behaviour had not been unreasonable when looked at in the context of their marriage and the Court agreed with him. The Court found no behaviour that Mrs Owens could not reasonably be expected to live with and as such the marriage could not be said to have irretrievably broken down and her petition was dismissed. Although Mrs Owens appealed, it was held that judges could only interpret and apply the law handed to them and that under the current regime the petitioner is required to find fault in the respondent.

This decision highlighted the need for a no fault divorce process. Mrs Owens was left in the unenviable position of having to wait out a five year separation in order to proceed with a divorce without her husband’s consent.

What is the aim of the reform and why is it needed?
An acrimonious divorce consumes parties’ lives, and that acrimony usually spills over, even once the Decree Absolute is finalised, especially where children are involved. The fault system encourages discord which often affects the parties’ mental health, as well as the mental health of any children (especially if they are old enough to understand what’s going on). Therefore, divorces using one of the fault-based facts are usually quite traumatic to the parties.

A common misconception under the fault based regime is that the bad behaviour of one party will affect the financial outcome of the divorce, when in fact one has no bearing on the other, unless the behaviour is sufficiently extreme but, these cases are extremely rare.

Parties tend to settle finances subsequent to issuing their divorce petition and the tone of blame is usually carried over so as to frustrate and slow down the financial proceedings which in affect helps no one, including the Family Court whose resources are overwhelmed already.

The proposed changes should simplify the divorce process and reduce conflict from the very start. Parties will then be able to focus on the important issues like children, property and finances bringing resolution more quickly and amicably so that both can heal and move forward.

What will be the new regime?
The new legislation aims to make a number of significant changes, such as:
• Replace the ‘five facts’ with a new requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown (the Court then must take this statement as conclusive evidence that the marriage has broken down irretrievably);
• Remove the possibility of contesting the divorce;
• Introduce an option for a joint application;
These changes will also apply to the dissolution of civil partnerships.

Family law – what’s next?
The Law Society are currently campaigning for legal aid to be reintroduced for early advice, particularly in family law and we at Dean Wilson LLP believe this would be a further welcome step to focus parties’ minds on the practicalities at hand of separating joint lives into separate healthy and happy futures.

Dean Wilson LLP’s reputation has been built upon our ability to deliver and exceed our clients’ expectations. For over 100 years our success has been founded upon our client focused approach, backed by the knowledge and expertise of our lawyers. www.deanwilson.co.uk

Mar 02
Love0
tranny-kids-chatting

Everyone deserves the right to communication

By Education, Language, Relationships

What is a speech and language therapist and how can they help your child? As a child develops there is an expectation that they will reach certain milestones in their development. This includes their speech, language and communication skills.

Sometimes, children can take longer to meet these milestones, often requiring a little extra time but sometimes they need some support. It is important to remember that no child’s communication journey will be the same, every child takes a different speed.

However, if a child is struggling on their communication journey a speech and language therapist (SLT) is there to help.

Who do we work with?
A SLT is focused on communication and all the different aspects associated with communication. From speech skills to language skills, comprehension skills, attention skills, eating and drinking skills, social skills and fluency skills. The list goes on and on, many people assume our role is similar to that seen in ‘The King’s Speech’. Focusing on a stutter or working on the pronunciation of a sound. However, a SLT works with children as young as two years old and with varying difficulties.

SLT’s work with children with a range of diagnoses such as:
• Speech and language delay
• Developmental language disorder (DLD)
• Speech disorders
• Autistic spectrum disorders
• Disfluency (stuttering/stammering)
• Cleft lip and palate
• Learning difficulties
• Developmental delay
• Down Syndrome
• Social communication delay
• Comprehension delay
• Attention and listening delay
• Swallowing conditions.

Why is a speech and language therapist just playing with my child?
Children learn best when they do not realise they are learning. Play provides vast opportunities for communication, whether that communication is expressed through eye gaze, gesture or talking. Play allows a child to explore the world around them, to share attention with you and to engage. So, whilst it may look as though a SLT is just playing with your child, every toy and activity will be encouraging and developing your child’s communication skills.

I have concerns about my child’s communication skills, should I just wait and see?
Often as a parent, we can become concerned about our child’s abilities. Naturally, we begin to compare them to other children. We can go back and forth with concerns around whether we should seek help or whether we should wait and see. Early intervention is key with communication difficulties – the longer a difficulty is left the harder it can be to resolve and the greater the impact on a child’s overall communication abilities. Diagnosing a delay or condition early can drastically improve the outcome of a child’s communication journey.

If you are concerned about your child’s communication skills, have a chat with a SLT. Most independent practitioners will offer a free phone call to discuss any concerns you have and offer advice.

What should I expect from my first speech and language therapy session?
Usually, the initial session is an assessment session. This is often an informal chat with the parents, finding out your concerns, your child’s developmental history and gaining insight into your child’s interests. Then, the SLT will play with your child, informally assessing their abilities holistically. A child is very unlikely to know it is an assessment – my initial assessment checklist includes bubbles, animals, a pop-up pirate and trains!

If you have any concerns about your child’s communication, no matter how small, don’t delay in contacting a SLT. Everyone deserves the right to communication. We can talk about your concerns and offer you tailored advice and plan the next steps in supporting you and your child. The longer a concern is left, the harder it is to resolve. So contact your local SLT today!

Help Me to Talk provide engaging sessions at home, nursery, school and virtually to families across Surrey. For children as young as two years old. Get in touch today! www.helpmetotalk.co.uk 07799 677262

 

Mar 02
Love0

The communication and capabilities of a newborn baby

By baby health, Education, Language, play, Relationships, sleep
by Karen Emery
Founder of Haven & Base,
Perinatal Practitioner, Parent Coach & Children’s Sleep Advisor

It wasn’t too long ago that we thought newborn babies couldn’t do much at all, other than eat, sleep and cry. But the exact opposite is true. Newborn babies are born with amazing communication capabilities and are primed and ready for social contact with their parents and caregivers right from birth. More importantly, brain science has shown us just how important this early communication is between a baby and their parent for a baby’s brain development.

Many parents are unaware that a human baby is born with an undeveloped brain and that a baby’s brain and nervous system grows most rapidly in the first few years following birth. A baby’s brain grows and develops in response to their environment but crucially in response to the interactions that a baby shares with their parent(s) and caregivers. Communication is more than talking. It’s any form of message sent from one party to another through sounds, words, or physical hints like body language. From the first moment that your baby is placed in your arms, you and your baby will be communicating with each other. These first glances, sounds, and touches literally shape the way in which your baby’s brain will grow and develop.

Everyone knows that babies cry but did you know that every baby has their own crying repertoire? Every baby has a unique and different cry for a different reason. Unlike other mammal babies, human babies are born completely dependent upon their parent or caregiver for survival and their ability to cry is very important for alerting an adult that something is wrong, or a change is needed. Babies have different cries for different reasons: a hungry baby may cry in a low or short pitched tone, while a baby who is angry or upset may cry in a choppier tone. As your baby grows, you as a parent will be able to recognise and understand what need that your baby is expressing. Even if we as parents cannot always work out why our baby is crying and what our baby is trying to express to us, it’s always important to respond to your baby’s cry for help. Responding to your baby’s cries (even when we may not know what they are crying for) helps to make your baby feel safe, secure, listened to, and heard. You cannot spoil a baby when you are meeting their physical and emotional needs.

Babies love talking! Although a baby doesn’t say a meaningful word until they are about a year old, they love to ‘take turns’ communicating with you as a parent or caregiver with facial expressions, gurgles, coo’s and body language. Why not give this a try? Find a moment when your baby is quiet but alert and give this ‘turn taking’ a go. Position your baby in front of you gazing into their eyes. What ever your baby does – you copy. If your baby gurgles, you gurgle back. Always wait for your baby to respond. This is a beautiful way to connect with your baby but don’t expect a full-blown conversation for hours at a time. Newborns can only manage this type of interaction for a few moments at each sitting before it can become over stimulating for their immature nervous system. As your baby grows and develops you can spend longer gazing at one another and conversing for longer periods each time but it’s always best to follow your baby’s lead. When your baby has had enough, they may look away, grimace, arch their back or posset (spit up milk). Crying is usually the last signal that your baby has had enough, and a change is needed.

This is the second article of three in a series about babies. In my final article, which will be available in the summer edition, I will discuss sleep tips for babies aged from birth until three months old.

You can learn more about how to communicate with your baby by visiting www.havenandbase.com

Karen Emery is available for VIRTUAL one-to-one parent-baby consultations.
You can email her for an appointment at hello@havenandbase.com

Mar 01
Love0
playgroup

The ‘Covid Cohort’

By Education, Mental health, Relationships
by Sally-Ann Potter
Potter’s House Preschool and Forest School
I imagine many of us in the Early Years are adjusting to what should be the new normal – life after lockdown. As well as the logistical and financial impact that Covid-19 and various lockdowns has had on the Early Years, we are now faced with an altogether more alarming challenge – the ‘Covid Cohort’.

An entire cohort of children who are starting preschool are significantly lacking in vital areas of development. A global pandemic saw us losing so many support groups for parents that are vital to the development of children under five and we are now observing the detrimental effect it has had on their development.

By completing assessments of children in the Early Years we are able to identify and pinpoint areas where children may not be meeting targets. This enables early intervention and allows us the opportunity to help support those children to achieve goals and next steps. Recently, when observing children in order to assess them I have noticed first hand and also had reported to me a frightening number of our children who are unable to communicate effectively, are socially unaware and have no understanding of boundaries or keeping themselves safe. What was once around 5% not reaching goals is now closer to 85%.

As children’s brains develop the quickest within their first five years, it is fair to say that the negative effects of lockdown on children’s development could have lifelong impacts. Speech and language development are vital to a child’s ability to engage socially or in education and learning on the whole. Communication is the fundamental starting point for children’s learning.

Let’s look at all the positive interactions and experiences children have missed out on because of the pandemic – play dates, family gatherings, the library, the park, baby groups, singing groups. All of these experiences create opportunities for children to develop their language – they hear and learn new words as they are exposed to conversations, they learn to take turns speaking, this enables them to build social skills and mimic social interactions and, vitally, develop their confidence and self-esteem.

This lack of opportunity to develop their confidence and self-esteem means that the mental health of children in the Early Years is also negatively affected. On top of that the mental health consultations among new mothers went up 30% and is continuing to rise. Post Natal Depression has tripled! Mothers experiencing high levels of anxiety have gone up 43%. The ripple effect of this contributes to the decline in mental health of children in the Early Years.

So what do we do?
We need to look at how the pandemic has altered our ‘cultural capital’ and what we need to adjust in order to give every child an equal opportunity to grow and learn. With the introduction of a new EYFS, settings have the unique and long-awaited chance to construct their own curriculums. This couldn’t have been introduced at a better time and settings have a golden opportunity to build a curriculum that supports an entire cohort of children who need targeted support with communication. This is a time where Early Years settings can shine and make a real difference to the future of millions of children across the world.

How do we do it?
At Potter’s House we are fortunate enough to be supported by an incredible NHS Speech and Language team who offer training and advice to staff whenever necessary. In conversations with speech and language therapists and other practitioners supporting the Early Years, I’ve discovered how aware of this concern everyone is and how hard they are all working to combat it. We have a high level speech therapist attending our setting to deliver vital training, bespoke to our setting, in order for staff to fully understand and underpin the growth of our children’s vocabulary.

In addition to this we need to look at some ways we help children to develop communication and make it omnipresent in our practice. Go back to basics – make comments and statements when speaking to children, avoid asking lots of questions. Give children time to process what you have said and respond. Keep language limited and simple. Repeat back to toddlers what they say in order to model mimicking. If possible, reduce background noise. Build on what they have said, for example, “car”, “yes, and blue car”. Remove dummies and any other obstructions. Speak clearly and subtly correct their mistakes by repeating what they have said back to them correctly. Read to them and introduce visual aids in conversation. Play music and sing songs.

“From the earliest moments of life, children begin to learn the fundamentals of language. The most powerful influence for effective language development are the verbal interactions with caregivers.” – Dr David Perlmutter, Neurologist and Author of Brain Maker.

For more information please contact Sally-Ann at sallyann@pottershousepreschool.co.uk or call 07375 379148

www.pottershousepreschool.co.uk

 

Dec 22
Love0

Choosing the right primary school for your child

By Education, family, Legal, Relationships
by Emma Willing and Antonia Felix
Mishcon de Reya law firm
www.mishcon.com

The choice of a child’s school is one of the most important decisions parents will make. For separated parents in particular, the decision can be more challenging, especially if living arrangements are not settled or if there is divergence of views as to the best educational setting for a child.

The deadline for parents (of children due to start primary school in September 2022) to apply for a state primary school place is 15 January 2022. Following the making of an application, the offer of a school place will be received from the relevant Local Authority on 16 April 2022.

Emma Willing and Antonia Felix from Mishcon de Reya’s Family and Education teams consider some of the common issues and questions which can arise when choosing the right school and making the application as parents.

Who has the ability to make a decision about where a child goes to school?
Provided both parents have parental responsibility, any important decisions in respect to a child, including regarding education, must be made by the parents jointly.

If agreement cannot be reached, or one parent has acted without the other parent’s agreement, it may be that a method of dispute resolution such as those discussed below can assist. Ultimately, if parents cannot reach an agreement, an application can be made to Court to determine the issue in dispute.

The Court’s primary focus in determining such a dispute will be an assessment of what is in the child’s best interests.

What is ‘parental responsibility’?
Parental responsibility defines the rights and responsibilities that an individual has in respect to a child, and determines who has decision-making power in matters such as education, religion and medical treatment.

The birth mother of a child automatically acquires parental responsibility at birth. This does not apply to the father or non-birth mother (in the case of a same-sex female couple), unless they were married or in a civil partnership with the mother at the time of the birth.

If the parents are unmarried, the mother is not required to enter the father or non-birth mother’s name on the birth certificate and if she does not, the father or non-birth mother will not then have parental responsibility. Despite this, if agreement cannot be reached, there are Court applications which can be made in order to obtain parental responsibility.

How can a disagreement about schooling be resolved?
While some separated parents will be able to reach a decision about the choice of schooling between themselves, others may encounter difficulties and the situation can become increasingly stressful as the application deadline looms.

There are various ways in which to resolve a disagreement:
Family member / mutual friend – A trusted family member or mutual friend may be able to assist parents in discussions. This can be particularly useful to diffuse a situation of conflict and involve someone neutral in the discussions.
Mediation – A mediator is a neutral facilitator. The mediator will be entirely independent from the parents and their respective solicitors (should the parents have them). While the mediator can facilitate and encourage discussions between separated parents, overall resolution can only be reached by agreement. Following an agreement reached by mediation, it is then advisable for both parents to consult with their own solicitors in order to formalise any agreement reached.
Arbitration – An arbitrator can be jointly appointed by the parents to make a decision in respect of the dispute. The advantage of arbitration is that resolution can normally be reached far more quickly than through the Court process. The arbitrator can impose a final outcome on the parents. However, unlike mediation which may result in an agreement, the parents may feel that they have less control over the eventual outcome.
Round table meeting/discussions between solicitors – There can be discussions between the parents’ respective solicitors either via correspondence or at a so-called ’round table meeting’ (which does not, despite the name, have to involve the parties sitting together) to resolve the issues.
Court – If agreement cannot be reached and parents do not want to use arbitration, an application can be made to Court. This should however be seen as a last resort.

What other planning can be put in place to avoid future disagreements?
It is advisable for parents to engage in discussions about the choice of a child’s school early. Where possible, parents should seek to meet or engage a third party to facilitate discussions around six to twelve months in advance of a school application deadline. Careful planning and thought is required, including attending school open days, considering up to date Ofsted reports and speaking to other parents. The earlier discussions commence, the sooner any areas of disagreement can be identified.

Parents should consider diarising future dates when applications are required to be made or assessments taken throughout their child’s education, and seek to approach the process together wherever possible.

Deciding between a mainstream school or a special needs school
Some children need more support than others to gain as much as they can from their education. A child may have been diagnosed with a medical condition, disability or special educational needs and there may be a professional assessment setting out what kind of educational help they need.

For children who need more help than a mainstream school would normally be able to provide, a plan in England called an Education Health and Care (EHC) Plan will be issued (following a formal assessment) by the local authority where a child lives. This will detail the child’s educational needs and the support they will receive.

Many children with an EHC Plan in place will go to a mainstream school, and the law gives children a right to a mainstream education if parents want this. However, parents may decide a child will be better supported in a specialist needs school. The local authority will discuss schooling options with parents when a child’s plan is drawn up, or reviewed, and must consider the parents’ views. The final decision rests with the local authority, however, if the level of provision is not agreed, an appeal to the First-tier Tribunal may need to be considered.
All mainstream schools in England and Wales will have a staff member, known as a Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCO), who is responsible for arranging support for pupils with special educational needs (SEN).

Before making a decision – whether you are separated parents, a single parent or two parents together – the key is to do research in advance, and discuss your child’s needs. Try to talk to other parents at the school, and ensure you visit the school to see first-hand how it is run.

What steps should parents take if issues arise with a Local Authority once the offer of a school place has been made?
First, it is important to remember that there is movement with school places after offers have been made during the spring and summer period. If a child does not have a place in one of the schools selected on 16 April 2022, then contact should be made with the local council to obtain details of schools with places. The council may be able to assist, avoiding any need for parents to engage the appeals process.

It is also possible to put a child’s name down on a waiting list at a preferred school via the school or the council (the ‘admission authority’ for each school must keep a waiting list open for at least the first term of each school year).

Even if a child has a school place, it is possible to go on the waiting list for another school. Parents should not automatically reject the place offered, in case doing so may result in a situation of a child having no school place. It is important to be aware that for Reception, Year 1 and Year 2 the class size is limited to 30 so the school can refuse the appeal if the limit has been reached.

Dec 13
Love0

Tips for bringing up a compassionate child

By children's health, Education, family, Relationships

Compassionate children are ones that naturally grow into kind-hearted adults, as the values instilled in them through their childhood will be carried into their later life.

The key to raising compassionate children is through being conscious of your parenting techniques and the values that they’re teaching them. Here, MindBE Education shares tips for bringing up a compassionate child:

• Use storybooks to frame ideas

When you read a story ask questions about how the characters might be feeling. How would your child feel if they were that character? What might the character have done differently to be kinder? By highlighting these actions and feelings your child will develop a greater sense of empathy and perspective that will carry forward into their own life.

• Use a persona doll or puppet to discuss issues

Sometimes children don’t like to talk about things but will happily engage through a doll or puppet or other forms of play. If your child is facing a situation or there is an issue in the air, talk to your child and discuss how the doll or puppet may be feeling. Discuss how it might make you feel and what strategies the puppet could use to feel better. By talking about issues and situations that come up we can instil the values of kindness and compassion in our child.

• Teach your child to be kind

Modelling kindness yourself is the easiest way to do this. Do you smile, hold the door open or help your neighbours? More than anything a child will pick up on the cues from the adults in their life. If you are kind and compassionate your child most likely will follow your lead. When you do something, you might explain why you tried to help another and how we can be of service to others.

• Create a sense of gratitude in your home

Being grateful is linked to being a compassionate person. When we are grateful, we can feel empathy for others who may not have something we do. We can ease fear and anxiety and focus on the good which leads to a more loving outlook in the world. Try to take turns every night at dinner to say three good things that happened that day or encourage your child to write a gratitude journal each day.

MindBE Education offers teacher and parenting training courses and resources so that they can better teach children to build compassion, courage and confidence. MindBE Education was founded by Dr Helen Maffini. An international educator, author and consultant who has worked around the world, Helen is a certified emotional intelligence trainer, a Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and a positive psychology leader.

www.mindbe-education.com

Close Menu