by Susan Luxford, Timeless Toys, Hove
Why older children need play more than ever
Summers have been dominated by two viral trends over the last couple of years – “kid rotting” and “feral child summer”. If those terms feel a little provocative, a more comfortable description might be “slow parenting summer”.
Whatever we call it, the idea behind the trend is the same – parents are recognising that children need more unstructured play. More time to themselves and less scheduled activities.
For previous generations, play was largely child-initiated and open-ended. Today, however, even play can become adult-directed, structured and over-scheduled. And there is growing awareness of what children may be losing when every hour has a purpose and the impact this is having on children’s physical, cognitive, social and emotional wellbeing.
But as the autumn chill arrives and thoughts turn towards Christmas, a different kind of parental pressure inevitably creeps in.
Our instinct can shift from allowing children to explore freely to helping them ‘grow up’. For children between six and eleven, in particular, the perceived need for age-appropriate, educational or technologically advanced gifts can quietly replace something they still desperately need – the freedom of play.
I hear it often: “That’s too young for you.” “That’s not for your age.” “They’re five – it will be too easy for them.” Or, perhaps most revealingly “Does it actually do anything?”
As adults, we tend to view toys through a rigid, logical lens. We want to understand what something is for. We look at the age, the instructions, the skills it develops and, increasingly, whether it ‘does’ something.
But children don’t necessarily see toys that way. The less a toy tells a child what to do, the more room there is for the child to decide.
There is also a very real fear among parents that their children will be left behind if they don’t have constant access to technology, or that we aren’t pushing them hard enough.
That anxiety can drive us towards toys with instructions to follow, skills to master and an obvious purpose that adults can understand.
But perhaps we need to ask a different question. Not, “What does this toy teach?” But, “What could my child imagine with it?”
The secret world of older play
When an older child plays, they are often processing life.
As school becomes more demanding and friendships become more complicated, children encounter social pressures and emotions that they are not always equipped to articulate. Play can provide a private, analogue space in which to explore those experiences safely.
This is where toys can become so much more than entertainment.
Take the beautifully crafted, whimsical world of Maileg, which we proudly stock. To an adult, a tiny linen mouse tucked into a matchbox bed might simply be a beautiful keepsake.
To a nine-year-old navigating the heart-breaking complexities of friendship groups, that mouse can become a confidante.
By arranging miniature furniture, creating scenes and acting out fictional arguments, exclusions or reconciliations between characters, a child can explore feelings that may be difficult to put into words. They can experiment with different outcomes, revisit situations and regain a sense of control over a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming or confusing.
It is imagination, storytelling and emotional processing – disguised as play.
And that need doesn’t disappear simply because a child is now six, seven or nine.
In fact, older children may need imaginative play precisely because their world is becoming more complicated.
Preserving the magic this christmas
The unhurried freedom of a ‘slow parenting summer’ doesn’t have to disappear when the seasons change.
We can preserve that independent, imaginative spirit through the winter months by giving older children something surprisingly simple – permission to keep playing.
This Christmas, perhaps we can resist the urge to ‘age up’ our children too quickly.
Rather than choosing gifts because they look impressive, complicated or technologically advanced, look for toys that offer narrative depth, tactile experiences and plenty of room for imagination.
Because growing up is inevitable.
Let’s give children the gift of extra time – time to imagine, time to create and, most importantly, time to simply be children who play.
Susan Luxford runs Timeless Toys 100 Portland Road, Hove. @timelesstoysUK
This lovely shop is open from 10am to 5pm Tuesday to Saturday. Please feel free to pop in to the shop or visit www.timeless-toys.co.uk
